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I feel like I'm going to explode - I am so anxious and desperate and I can't stop crying. I need my husband. I want so bad to ask him for help but I can't because he already hates me so much. I have to pick my kid up from school soon and I can't bear the thought of him seeing me like this. There is nowhere or time that I can be alone and fall apart so I'm just doing it right out in the open. I am so afraid and ashamed to tell anyone about this. I wish so much the ground would just open up and swallow me whole.Tags: None
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You won't believe it now, but it WILL get better. I am separated from my husband. We lost our house. I went bankrupted. ruined my credit ( had to pay $42,000. one years rent to move into my new apt.) Don't know what I'll do next year! no more money......but now my husband ard I talk 4 times a day, he calls me his sweet, and tells me he will buy me a house again some day. There were very dark times we went through but we got out on the other side of it....YOU WILL TOOOO take it slow he might be mad now but can't be forever. I know. I'll be back to check in with you. your not alone. many hugs.
raineyjane
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you have married your husband for richer and pourer ,sickness and in health .. he has to understand ..you need his help talk to him ask for help .. try going to AA meeting.. do what ever it takes to help yourself ..
ask him to take you ..maybe that will show him you really mean business..but try to calm down and relax, deep breaths you will work this out with him and get the help you want .. please stay close and we are here for you .. stay strong and think positive:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..
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I will be going to AA tonight for the 2nd time. I hate it (to much god for this atheist) but I don't know what else to do. I can't bare to stay here where I am so dispised. I guess I'll just go every day and hope for the best. I just hope that some of his anger has subsided by the time he gets home tonight but I'm not holding my breath. What sucks is that I know I cannot relieve any of my anxiety and despair with alcohol now or ever again. I just have to wear my big fat scarlet letter A (for alcohol) and let him move on with his life. He says he won't leave and that I don't have to leave but that I am on my own now. I brought this on myself and I'm choking on it. I get what I deserve and those that deserve better are obligated to turn their backs on me. I wouldn't ask any more from him than that. I'm no longer entitled. I suck and I have to face that.
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you dont suck in anyway.. we all have made misstakes and the thing is to learn from them the best way we can and move forward with life and try to make it better ..dont think of AA as being all godly and all ..go there with the understanding that you will learn from everything you hear and say if you speck ..but that all up to you ..and talk and make some friends that you might be able toget some help from in one way or the other .. good luck my prayers are with you:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..
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Noma'am,
I hope you are at your 2nd meeting. You can beat this. Just worry about getting yourself better right now for your children. You can't control how your husband feels, if he see's you trying to better yourself he should come around but you MUST focus on getting yourself better. We are here for you in anyway we can be. Keep posting so we know how you are doing.
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and there also another saying from AA ..take what you need and leave the rest .. dont worry about a sponsor and all the steps ...read and learn from everything .. it all does help in some way:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..
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