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    #16
    looking for other gay men just starting

    Keep seeking for what you aspire for~

    Be good to yourself. Your bravery is applauded , so acolades to y o u.

    I understand you being specific. You are more comfortable as I am with your own species.
    The beauty, is we are all , in essence a mirrored likeness of each other on the deepest level.

    Take good care.
    :notes:Theme2be

    " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales

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      #17
      looking for other gay men just starting

      You guys are making me cry here. There are some precious souls out there. OK, here's my story. I read the book; don't ask me how I found it. It was ...weird. I must've been surfing the internet and something caught my eye, so I ordered MWO and tore through it in 2 days. I am a functioning alcoholic playing Russian roulette with drinking every night and passing out for bed, even when I'm on call at the hospital. I rarely get called in, but when I do, I can "sober up" in the 7 minutes that it takes me to walk to work. How pathetic!

      I was raised Catholic, and, boy, we all drank and it was OK. My relationship with God at this point is: well, He or She has been extremely good to me - probably since I'm such a whiner.

      My partner and I have been together for 15 years. We love each other. Is everything perfect? No. He hates my drinking; I hate his indiscretions. That is a whole other story.

      I go through a magnum of Jim Beam every 4 days. It's time to do something. Unfortunately, I like wine. I like a glass with dinner; that's all. So, when I saw the premise of the book, I thougt, "Oh, my God. Is it possible to drink like normal people?" We shall see. I would love to ditch the Jim Beam and only occasionally enjoy the glass of wine with dinner.

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        #18
        looking for other gay men just starting

        Hello and :welcome: Jim
        Like the others have said, we all have a very strong common bond. We are trying to beat the Beast (alcohol) I am also a healthcare professional, but not a functional drunk, so have missed much work in the past and lost many jobs. How awful is it to feel like Hell, and be expected to help others who are ill. You have a great plan in place. My doctor had no clue about Topa for AL, but now, thanks to being sober, I will have health insurance as of Oct.1 and will approach the subject with her again. I also will be connecting with an addictions counselor. I go to AA meetings here and there. I have tried moderation, but it is not possible for me. I truly wish you well as you begin this battle. I look forward to your future posts.
        "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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          #19
          looking for other gay men just starting

          Thank you Sea. Oh, and happy birthday. Time for bed.

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            #20
            looking for other gay men just starting

            I thougt, "Oh, my God. Is it possible to drink like normal people?" We shall see.

            I too am skeptical about this. I have often thought that it would be all or nothing. I am a serious "foodie" who enjoys pairing fine wine with a fine meal. I love to cook and entertain and can't even begin to imagine life without wine. Unfortunately, I drink more than I eat. I just want more than anything to drink and enjoy wine like a normal person and not want more and more and more....

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              #21
              looking for other gay men just starting

              Yeah, you're right, Yoga. How can we cook without wine? How can we entertain? Beats me; I wish I had the answer. Is there somebody out there who actually has learned to cook with wine as needed, then sipped with dinner and stopped?

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                #22
                looking for other gay men just starting

                good night Jim, or maybe your reading this in the morning, I'm glad your here with us. I have been here a month or so. I LOVE this place/people. this is where I can feel connected to others when I'm scared. Keep checking in and posting. hugs
                raineyjane

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                  #23
                  looking for other gay men just starting

                  I have used chicken broth in lieu of wine. Changes the flavor of the dish but saves me from becoming drunk! Never, ever use cooking wine. Pure crap!
                  Have you ordered the topamax? I just received mine today and will start tomorrow. It is supposed to help tremendously with cravings.

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                    #24
                    looking for other gay men just starting

                    Cooking wine??? Yeah, that's Kool-Aid mixed with vinegar. My dr. gave me his leftover Topamax and I'm waiting for the rest of my start-up supplies to come from MWO. I have Chantix, too, so I'm gonna spearhead all of these freaking demons at once. Gee, if this works, my only remaining vice will be coffee. Good luck tomorrow. Would you let me know how it's going?

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                      #25
                      looking for other gay men just starting

                      I refuse to give up coffee too! That would be just too f'ing much! I got the CD's and have been using them when I'm not too intoxicated. I think they will help you tremendously. I don't know what kind of smoker you are but I always found it much easier to quit smoking than drinking. It's the weirdest thing. I would smoke two packs a day for years and then suddenly decide to quit and would have very little difficulty. I have no success when it comes to wine.
                      I will keep you updated.
                      You are in my thoughts and prayers...Michelle

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                        #26
                        looking for other gay men just starting

                        Hi JB. Welcome! I am a straight woman, but my best friend is a gay man. He is a recovering alcoholic, has been sober more than 10 years. He came out rather late, after his parents sent him to a "Christian therapist" to see if they could "de-gay" him. Then he moved to Chicago and drank like a fish for 2-3 years, until he went to work drunk and got sent straight to rehab. hasn't had a drink since. Alcohol was kind of a brief phase with him, where with me, it's been a problem most of my life. Honestly, it's weird, of all people, he doesn't quite understand why I just don't "stop" -- it has been such a long time for him. Well, I'm rambling, just wanted to say hi, I DO understand you looking for a buddy to go thru this who's also gay. But this site, for whatever reason, has way more women than men. It is a wonderful place and everybody here is very supportive ...
                        :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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                          #27
                          looking for other gay men just starting

                          Hello Jim ... nice to read you R ready for change. we are all here to rid alcohol from our bodies.. there is as much advice here as going to Rehab, only exception is you have to want to doo this?? I hope you find what you are seeking (A WAY OUT) from the beast... you know AL..

                          I wish you the best .... LD.

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                            #28
                            looking for other gay men just starting

                            Hey JB,
                            I also want to quit both smoking and drinking at the same time. I've been here for about 2 weeks and found this is a place to share it all, cause guess what.. most of us have gone through similar. I start antibuse next week. I can't get 2 days AF yet, but am confident about next week. Welcome to MYO!!
                            MM

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                              #29
                              looking for other gay men just starting

                              Hey Jim,

                              Welcome!

                              I also want to quit smoking, but I;m just too chicken to try both at the same time. So KUDOS to you for doing that! Keep us posted on how that goes.

                              I'm pretty new on Topa myself, this is week three for me, but I am moving up slowly because I am doing it without a DR. So far, pretty good!

                              And, as far as wanting a "specific buddy", I can relate a bit. I felt the same way in the start of wanting someone kind of "personal" to speak to, but you soon learn you wouldn't want to miss out on the MANY amazing people here!

                              Stick with us! You have found a great place for your journey and new life

                              WTE

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                                #30
                                looking for other gay men just starting

                                Welcome!
                                In case you have not heard, Chantix might work on the alcohol as well as cigarrettes.

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