What Scares People About Being AF??

[tlrgs]

What Scares People About Being AF??

good questioon and i have been really thinking about that .. not i was scare of being af the fact is i didnt want to be .. i wasnt ready to live i wanted to hide . ..but now things are so much better now that i have made that first step in the right direction 11 months ago..

[Waiting for his way out]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I just found out last night, what scares my loving husband about being AF are the withdrawal symptoms. I don't think he has given himself a chance to find out, but the thought alone scares him. He is now on 200mg of Topa and all suppl. but he is still afraid.

[akmom]

What Scares People About Being AF??

For me AL was the quick and easy way to numb everything!! If I was AF how would I deal with situations I could not handle? That's what I had to find out.

[Waiting for his way out]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Do I dare to say... you will be a "normal person". with fears, uncertanties and all the things you mentioned. We all feel them without AL. We look up at the stars and are grateful to be alive with the same questions and not too many answers. But, you will be healthy, loving and loved. That will be the gift and freedom of AF.

[catch22]

What Scares People About Being AF??

happydog;428059 wrote: Hi Aathlete, great post and good question.

For me being scare of being AF for me i think a lot of it is to do with my personality, emotions , confidents, shyness, and being nervous, AL help me cover all those thinks up. (socializing)
Also im scare of missing the comfort of being comfortable and not feeling empty. ( it a bit like comfort eating)
Learning to copy with everyday life... i know im a coward!
scare of starting all over again learning all about myself who i really im without the AL AND scare how long will i copy for! i know must never look to far ahead.

I dont think i have over come these thinks but im working at them.

It funny it was only last week ago had a pub lunch with a group of people and someone said to me i heard your a right laugh when you have a few drinks. You know that really upset me.

Take care

Love
Teardrop.x

:bump:
Just had to bump up this Great thread , because i come across what i had posted above,that i had printed out and kept it, read it the other day and i could not stop thinking about, how far i have come.

I know now for me my drinking was all base on fear, I am learning now to cope with my fears and to let go of my fears and not to grip it back, some days can be really hard, but i do get through it without picking up a drink, and i can look back and say to myself i did it! Learning about myself i felt like a little girl in a women body and i was still that same person, when i first started drinking, But today am growing up learning to have control of me and no one controlling me in other words learning to say No. Also Learning to feel my emotions and feelings has been hard it been like a roller-coaster ride but am getting there the empty and that sick feeling in my belly is no longer there
I still never look ahead just one day at a time, just living in the moment for me does it all.....x my gift of sobriety is freedom.x

[jennyneric]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I think I'm over my fear of never drinking again. The thing that I do fear is finding something fun. . . sober. I went to see some comedians the other night without AL and when AL is not my date comedians are not funny, or maybe they are funny but the atmosphere is sooo. . . .well a bar. . .sooo not conducive to an AF person having fun that the comics can't be funny to me. I feel the loss of a good time in social situations as I am not a social person and AL helps that.. . or maybe it doesn't help the social aspect maybe it just helps me not notice it as much. I wonder if I am still social awkward to other people when I drink but I don't notice because I'm drunk. Now that is an interesting question.

[mylife]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Hello AA and all,

Great question. What am I afraid of??? Everything and Nothing??!! Really, I thik I have to agree with you, that my biggest fear is having to admit to others and to myself that I have this problem. I find it humiliating -- really don't know why. Probably because I'm a people pleaser and I'll feel like I'm letting people down, or lowering their opinion of me by admitting this failure on my part? There is also just socializing and being able to casually have a drink with friends that I will miss. I'm really still trying to figure it all out!

Thanks for the question, though. I'm really going to reflect on this one.

[marriedgirl29]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I agree that I have a really hard time with admitting to other people that I have a problem with AL- it's my biggest issue with sobriety, and feeling different in social situations.

The thought of going on vacation without AL- sitting on the beach is hard, but for some reason this time around that is not rattling me as much as in past.

I always drank when visiting with my mom and I will miss that "wine time" although I was always drinking a lot more than her. She politely didn't point it out.

[fennel]

What Scares People About Being AF??

For me, it's the thought of never sharing a bottle of wine with friends again, and enjoying the camaraderie that goes along with. Sometimes, drinking wasn't all "bad". The other thing is knowing that I will never again experience the cushion between me and stress, or anger, or those other uncomfortable feelings. Alcohol always provided an instantaneous relief from those feelings.

With that said, I'm well into day ten. And though I'm telling myself "One day at a time", I know that I can't do it again. Ever. I'll find new feelings and new ways to deal.

[Lavande]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Good to see you fennel!

AA I think my biggest fear was failure to succeed. But that fear dissipated very quickly when I reached 30 days AF. After that I was so damn happy with myself nothing has bothered me enough to want to drink again. That includes my husband walking out on a 37 year marriage last year!!!!

[fennel]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Lavande;1039340 wrote: Good to see you fennel!

AA I think my biggest fear was failure to succeed. But that fear dissipated very quickly when I reached 30 days AF. After that I was so damn happy with myself nothing has bothered me enough to want to drink again. That includes my husband walking out on a 37 year marriage last year!!!!

Good to see you too, Lav! I can't even imagine how hard it would be to endure the dissolution of such a long-standing relationship ...AF! My hat is off to you.

[mylife]

What Scares People About Being AF??

fennel;1039293 wrote: For me, it's the thought of never sharing a bottle of wine with friends again, and enjoying the camaraderie that goes along with. Sometimes, drinking wasn't all "bad". The other thing is knowing that I will never again experience the cushion between me and stress, or anger, or those other uncomfortable feelings. Alcohol always provided an instantaneous relief from those feelings.

I have to agree with you on this one, too, Fennel! However, like you, I've got to find a way around this and just learn to handle these situations without the wine.

[gyco]

What Scares People About Being AF??

letting go

AAthlete;427542 wrote: Just curious...

I often read posts from people who are nervous about never being able to have another drink, ever. Do we feel like we will be treated as outsiders? Is the feeling of being drunk that powerful that we don't want to think of not feeling it ever again? Does admitting that we can never drink again mean admitting that we have a true drinking problem?

For me, it was the last one. It wasn't until I was able to admit the true extent of my problem to myself and others that the prospect of never drinking again didn't seem so bad - that the good finally outweighed the bad in my mind. I still miss it sometimes but thankfully don't crave it anymore. Of course, by the end of my drinking all thoughts of drinking for taste were out the window - a liter or soda and a 1/2 pinto of vodka mix then chug it down. Simple and clean.....

So, what scares you about it? Or are you over being scared about it?

hi athelete:goodjob:i guess ive found peace with in me,like you ive had sobriety under my belt,16 years at most,i beleive that is the difference between understanding what an alchoholic is, and having an addiction,is there repricussions with admittance,i also beleive there is,one has to find a comfort zone no matter which way they choose to go,:thanks:gyco

[spuddleduck]

What Scares People About Being AF??

great thread. i guess what we afraid of is the unknown. all my adult life, even before drinking became a problem i used alcohol as a social lubricant and a stress reliever. i think this is the same for many of us so we are basically learning a completely new way to live.
even though i am still drinking intermitently i would say i am now more scared of drinking than not drinking. everything that al once did for me it no longer does.

social lubricant - it now makes me a drunken mess. not at all sociable after the initial (short lived buzz)
stress reliever - it now makes me stressed and depressed (again after the short lived aahhhh moment

[Change]

What Scares People About Being AF??

What scares me is going back there again.