What Scares People About Being AF??

[AAthlete]

Just curious...

I often read posts from people who are nervous about never being able to have another drink, ever. Do we feel like we will be treated as outsiders? Is the feeling of being drunk that powerful that we don't want to think of not feeling it ever again? Does admitting that we can never drink again mean admitting that we have a true drinking problem?

For me, it was the last one. It wasn't until I was able to admit the true extent of my problem to myself and others that the prospect of never drinking again didn't seem so bad - that the good finally outweighed the bad in my mind. I still miss it sometimes but thankfully don't crave it anymore. Of course, by the end of my drinking all thoughts of drinking for taste were out the window - a liter or soda and a 1/2 pinto of vodka mix then chug it down. Simple and clean.....

So, what scares you about it? Or are you over being scared about it?

[WaitingToExhale]

What Scares People About Being AF??

What scares me is trying to learn how to do everything over again sober ...

Socializing, dating new men, unwinding from work, sex ....

[Helpwanted08]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I think for me; I enjoy the taste of a good white wine and I will miss that. If there was a good AL free one I would be thrilled. I am enjoying being AF 25 days.
HW

[noma'am]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I am so used to pouring alcohol on happy feelings I guess I've conditioned myself that I can't feel happiness without it. I'm afraid I won't have as much fun. And sex... my god how does one have sober sex? I once read a quote by Frank Sinatra that went something like: I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they are going to feel all day.
That made total sense to me. I always had something to look forward to regardless of what happened that day. No matter what, I could alter the way I felt. If I was happy I could make myself more happy. If I wasn't, I could be after a few drinks. Alcohol gave me control of my emotions (or so I thought). So now, I suppose I feel helpless and out of control. I just have to let my brain do what it wants and feel whatever emotion it throws at me. I don't like that.

[Evie.Lou]

What Scares People About Being AF??

What scares me is the thought that some how alcohol will get into me and take control again...I LOVE BEING SOBER AND HAVE NO FOND MEMORIES OF MY DRINKING DAYS...I pray that they are gone FOREVER..

[Seacailin]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I, like others here, am afraid of the "dating" scene without AL. Although, looking back as my past track record, I should be more afraid of drinking and scaring dates away. I picked up AL after 10 years without it after my divorce when I was beginning to enter the singles scene. I did not know how to handle it. I stopped dating last June. This was a choice that I made so that I could focus on my recovery without introducing new challenges. I think that today, I am more afraid of drinking than not drinking.

[Leelou]

What Scares People About Being AF??

In the past I would have said I would miss the taste of a nice wine and the lifestyle. Now, AL has taken over, I am scared of being AF forever because I know I would have to take responsibility of my own situation. I am scared I will fail. I am scared that I will have to feel that everyday. I am scared I will not be strong enough.

[savon19]

What Scares People About Being AF??

ME = Fear of Commitment! (In a lot of areas... )

While I know I feel better AF, and it would be good if I never drank again... I just can't think that way. NEVER is just too long a time!!

Soooo, I like thinking ODAT, and even 7 day "commitment" ... (Altho' I even hesitated about that one!)

[Cinders]

What Scares People About Being AF??

AAthlete,

For me it was the fear of failure. I simply did not want to have to think about it every day, want it every day and end up failing by drinking it.

Now, I realize that even though I do want it, the wanting it is transitory and goes away. I wake up sober, happy and stronger.

Right now I am going through some really rough personal issues and I am so grateful I am doing it sober. If I was drinking, it would be so much worse.

Love,
Cindi

[startingover]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Hi AA, that is such an interesting question and one that stopped me from trying to change for many years. I was afraid that I would never feel happy again, never "cope" with problems, be boring ?!? Now I find that drinking actually did all those things i.e I was never truly happy, I didnt cope with problems and I really cannot think that i was either interesting or fun passing out and slurring my words!
So for me it was fear of the unknown and fear of change and fear of being without a close friend who had been with me for many years.
Thank you for sharing that AA, I love these thought provoking posts, they give me more strength to move forward

[changemylife]

What Scares People About Being AF??

I'm scared that I will miss out on all the good times I had while drinking. I can live with 95% good and 5% bad times. Thats a good ratio. Here is the problem: Over time, the bad times start to take over and I was looking at a20/80 ratio. Not to mention the toll it takes on my mind/body and soul.

[vera-b]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Excellent post AA!!

For most of us an AF lifestyle represents major CHANGE and change is a scary thing. I'm reluctant to go completely AF because in controlled moderation, drinking can be a very enjoyable thing. I'm not afraid of being AF, but simply don't find it necessary at least at this juncture. But it's a line that is easily crossed, and I'm ever mindful of that. I hold a great deal of respect for anyone who works on controlling their al behavior, whether the end result is moderation or abstinence. Both make the world a better, healthier, safer place. I will admit, though, that there are so many good responses here that I'll have a lot to think about on my daily walk in the morning!

Vera-b

[Pyes]

What Scares People About Being AF??

For me right now I'm scared I'm losing my best friend who am I with out AL
Pyes :new:

[Theme2be]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Therein lies a great mystery for me personally. I akin this to a cancer when let loose, so why would I fear not being free of this monster moreso.

When one has another life threatening disease do they have a fear of life without it? It seems, that is unthinkable, in my way of processing.
Alcohol calls from the great wild beyond from deep within. For me , it is a craving, unnatural due to what I have faced and overcome in my life.

I fear its control. Rather in my cells or not. It rolls my reasonable eyes back in my head and I am raging unmentionable.

I don't fear the control of other terrorist being in my life. I fear the threat, the fear itself imposed in its rantings, ravings and acts of terror.
It is a blindfold, this Alcoholism.

I wonder if their is something so much deeper within that feels worth being the fool to this prey, for me personally. It does not make one iota of sense to return to this poison that lures me with a simple experience of a glass of wine.
Just drive me blindfolded right after that to a purchase when ingested that could kill a Moose as I always awake a day or so amazed that I still exist in body.
At times fearing the insanity as it approaches because it is the great lie.

I fear the lack of answers through my own personal searching and hopefull discoveries. I fear that this race can be a victory, if only I find the courage that must come from another way because of what has failed that has brought miraculous assist to another soul in suffering.

I acknowledge that this is my enemy so cunning that it can continue to disguise in a welcoming form that I invite into my soul, to slaughter my integrity and honor and leave knowing its secret voice lingers in my fears in wispers and snickers to leave the light on for its return.

[bloggy]

What Scares People About Being AF??

Some very thought provoking answers here!

I am scared I won't be able to enjoy certain activities. I know this sounds strange, but I love sitting in seedy bars in areas of Barcelona, most normal people won't even walk through- I get real pleasure from watching all the interesting life forms I see there Prostitutes, drug dealers, pimps, alkies, all going about their daily business.

I just can't see me sitting there with a glass of water in front of me.

Or having a laugh with my friends when thay are having a few beers- of course when they go home, I am still sitting there.

Or having a relaxing drink at the end of a hard day.

The list goes on- I am basically scared I will not be able to enjoy life fully if I am AF- I know in my heart of hearts this is not true and I will enjoy my life a lot more than I have been doing- but nonetheless, the fear is still there.