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What Scares People About Being AF??

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    #16
    What Scares People About Being AF??

    I was scared of loosing my identity. Alcohol played such an important role in my lifestyle choices that i was afraid if I stopped drinking I would loose touch with who I was. Of course, it was only a false sense of security I had in the first place because of the alcohol. I still struggle with it today and I guess you could say; since I tried quitting over 15 months ago I've been having an identity crisis ever since!

    Love and Happiness
    Hippie
    xx
    "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
    Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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      #17
      What Scares People About Being AF??

      Im scared of a lot of things...
      1. I stop being 'bubbly' and interesting
      2. I get more depressed about the state of this crappy world we live in
      3. I wont be able to enjoy New Year's Eve anymore
      4. I wont be able to cook and bake with AL in it (I LOVE my Christmas cake with brandy and my homemade sherry trifle)
      5. Life will become boring without the rose-tinted specs that I thought AL gave me
      6. I have to start LIVING as opposed to EXISTING (takes effort)
      7. And finally..... That I may not like myself after all...

      C
      ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

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        #18
        What Scares People About Being AF??

        AAthlete,

        Excellent question!

        I agree with you - the biggest thing for me is admitting that I just really can't drink anymore. If I can't drink then I must have a drinking problem. If I have a problem then I am just like my mother who was an alcoholic throughout my childhood (she is now happily in recovery!!)

        I also will miss the deep relaxation that a glass of wine brings me . . . initially. It inevitably leads to anxiety about pouring the next glass(es).

        I have been a member of the site for 1 1/2 years. I have not posted for over 7 months as I was not being fully successful. I now realize though that I have come a long way. I have really truly enjoyed my AF times. Times socializing AF, times with my family AF. Sadly though my times drinking have been worse. It is a progressive process. I am ready to stop. AAthlete . . . I believe that you were the one that posted some time ago: Just do it.

        Thanks for bringing me back!

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          #19
          What Scares People About Being AF??

          Aathlete
          It's early days for me yet (have just completed 30 days) so hopefully it will get easier in time) but for now;
          I miss the taste of a good wine
          I miss the pleasant relaxing buzz you get after just 1 and a half glasses ( no more)- If only I could stop there
          I'm not really a soft drinks person and sometimes when you are out and there's not a lot of AF drinks that you fancy it's really tough.
          I sometimes feel "on the edge of things" when i'm with a group of people who are enjoying wine withing sensible levels
          It makes me sad thinking really far ahead that if I'm AF for life i wouldn't even be able to have a celebratory drink at really major occasions like my children's weddings
          I'm scared to say "for life" in case I fail

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            #20
            What Scares People About Being AF??

            AAthlete;427542 wrote: Just curious...

            So, what scares you about it? Or are you over being scared about it?

            Hi Aathlete, great post and good question.

            For me being scare of being AF for me i think a lot of it is to do with my personality, emotions , confidents, shyness, and being nervous
            , AL help me cover all those thinks up. (socializing)
            Also im scare of missing the comfort of being comfortable and not feeling empty. ( it a bit like comfort eating)
            Learning to copy with everyday life... i know im a coward!
            scare of starting all over again learning all about myself who i really im without the AL AND scare how long will i copy for! i know must never look to far ahead.

            I dont think i have over come these thinks but im working at them.

            It funny it was only last week ago had a pub lunch with a group of people and someone said to me i heard your a right laugh when you have a few drinks. You know that really upset me.

            Take care

            Love
            Teardrop.x
            family is everything to me

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              #21
              What Scares People About Being AF??

              I remember a long time ago this guy told me:

              When I drink, I get my Personality!!

              (Ooooo - that's kind of sad. But has ring of truth!?)
              Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                #22
                What Scares People About Being AF??

                What scares me most is drinking again. I have F?ed up so many things in my life by drinking. I want my life; life clean and simple. I am lucky to still have a great husband and family; they have stuck by me. Great friend?s that understand my reluctance to attend ?wine night?. A great home, great job, etc.

                I am afraid if I ever start drinking again, I will loose something precious and will never be able to retrieve it.

                The short of it, I?m afraid of the booze?.. boozaphobia
                Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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                  #23
                  What Scares People About Being AF??

                  Great post! I to have realized that dating and socializing are very difficult for me without alcohol. I currently find myself in avoidance mode so that I will not have the booze temptation, however that has started to put an isolation over my entire life. This gives me two fears, one I could give in and drink or two, I will be sober but sad and isolated from the World.
                  "I've done it. I don't need to drink anymore. I'm free!"-Jason Vale

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                    #24
                    What Scares People About Being AF??

                    cmhguy3;428109 wrote: Great post! I to have realized that dating and socializing are very difficult for me without alcohol. I currently find myself in avoidance mode so that I will not have the booze temptation, however that has started to put an isolation over my entire life. This gives me two fears, one I could give in and drink or two, I will be sober but sad and isolated from the World.
                    I also have difficulty socializing and see myself in Avoidance mode. I guess I associate my friends with drinking. In my eyes, the longer I stay away from them the better. This is probably not a good thing. I should learn to disassociate my friends with drinking.
                    Starting over again 09/06/11

                    "When its good its good its so good until it goes bad" Pink,Sober

                    sigpic

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                      #25
                      What Scares People About Being AF??

                      Good question AA
                      You made me think.

                      I'm not scared about being AF.
                      I really don't care enough about myself yet to be scared.
                      I am still doing this (or trying to) for other people.
                      If I was doing it for me, I wouldn't bother.

                      I'm trying to evaluate , and re-evaluate the whole thing right now.

                      Sorry for the bluenotes....

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                        #26
                        What Scares People About Being AF??

                        Hey Popeye,
                        I care about you!! I am sorry that you are blue. Hang in there!! You have been really positive for me in the past!!!
                        EG

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                          #27
                          What Scares People About Being AF??

                          AF, in my opinion, will bring you real friends and real love. Friends who like you when you are drunk "because you are more fun" are not your friends. Don't be so afraid, life is a wonderful thing. It is not easy every day, but you are worth it. Every day the sun goes down is a day that will not return. Enjoy each sunrise with everything that it brings.

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                            #28
                            What Scares People About Being AF??

                            I miss the 'escape'...

                            Skoots
                            "I have not failed - I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work"- Thomas A Edison

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                              #29
                              What Scares People About Being AF??

                              This is a great question, and one that is probably good to self-examine. After reading everyone's thoughts, I agree with a lot of them, but there is another that comes to me about why it might be important to me. For some reason it is a very social thing, and I lead a somewhat social lifestyle. I see commercials, tv shows that seem to glamorize a glass of wine, etc., and for some reason that seems appealing to me. It would be great if I could just have that one glass, but it really never stops there. It seems now, that it's just become a habit, but a very difficult one to break. It doesn't feel the same to drink a diet coke out of a wine glass.

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                                #30
                                What Scares People About Being AF??

                                Never having the buzz again. Loved that wonderful feeling - simple as that.

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