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[Hopeful mom]

I blew it again last night. I would rather die than put my family through the hell that I am living. I get angry when I drink about past abuses in my life and say mean things to people, particularly my mom. I had her so upset that she thought she would have to go to the hospital. I can't keep this up, I am hurting my family so badly. Going through menopause which is making me crazy, having panic attacks and depression. I just can't keep going like this.

[vertigo]

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Hopeful Mom,

I'm new here too, and I totally understand your feelings and can relate. I actually say the mean things to my husband, who does not deserve any of what I say, and am not even coherent enough when I say them - this is when I'm drinking, and drinking too much. The next day I always feel so bad, guilty, wonder why I put myself in that situation, you name it, and I have the feelings - mostly guilt.
You can do this. Two steps forward, and sometimes one step back, but just keep trying.
I recently started taking Kudzu, and I don't know if you take it, but it has made a total difference with me. If you don't take it, you might consider trying it.

[Seacailin]

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Hello Hope and GMW
Welcome to MWO. Try not to beat yourself up Hope. We all do things that we regret when we are drinking. We cannot change the past; only look to the future.
So, you are having sucess with the kudzu GMW? I think that I will try that myself. Hang in there guys. You can do this and it is soooo worth it. Look forward to seeing you both around.

[tlrgs]

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well it sound like it time for change and it all in your hands to do it .. and you can do it ..do your best one day at a time that all it takes ..stay strong and think positive you well be able to do this

[akmom]

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Hopeful - You can do this, just remember when you get back up and dust yourself off, you are better than the AL. It's only when you don't get back up that it beats you!!

PM if you need to!!

[vertigo]

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Seacailin,

Definitely try the Kudzu. I would like more feedback from people who are taking it. I really do not know why or how it works, but right now I'm swearing by it.
I, biologically, have OCD tendencies, but the drinking thing has, over time, gotten more out of hand...once I start, I can't regulate when to stop, and then I'm defintely 1 bottle and into 2, and then the next day is not a good one.
With the Kudzu I don't have the cravings, I think about having a drink, mostly because I think it's a nightly "habit", which leads to a lot of drinks, but I can somehow resist it. And then when my husband and I went out to dinner, I stopped at one glass of wine - really weird for me. Another night, I was able to stop after three and still knew what I was doing. I'm totally about this stuff, and I did call a pharmacist to ask if it can be taken safely with Prozac - which I also take, and they said they don't have records of any problems with the two combined. I will keep taking the Kudzo, whould encourage more people to try it, and would really like some feedback on it!!

[Seacailin]

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Thank you GMW. I tried to get it at General Nutrition Centers, but they looked at me like I had two heads when I asked for it. I guess I will have to order from this site. You will get feedback on it if you post on the Holistic Healing thread.

[vertigo]

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Seacailin,

I got it at a health foods store. Don't know what you have where you live, but like the organic food stores, if you have one there. If not, order it online, and thanks for your response!

[FindInverseGetIdentity]

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Hi Go and Sea -

Many swear by L-Glutamine for the cravings....I haven't had to, but cracking open a powder one under your tongue seems to stop cravings in many posters......

I had a big successful week after adding B-50 complex - I think you can get at a supermarket(I got mine by Nature Made in the local A&P - $7 for 60 caps) and Magnesium - ditto - local and cheap.

_hope it helps.

All the best -
Figi

[Helpwanted08]

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Hello, I take the Kudzu and the L-glut when I leave work at 5:00 just incase I get a craving or the 5:00 habit and it works great. Today is day 28 and I have MWO and the supps to thank for that. Good luck to all of you.
HW

[vera-b]

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Welcome Hopeful and GMW,

Hopeful, your despair is so common with those of us who have battled the bottle. As GMW suggested, the best thing to do at this point is to get on a program - I think it's very helpful to read RJ's book which outlines all aspects of the program she devised for herself and found so successful. At the very least you can try either the Kudzu or l-glut which are both considered good for curbing cravings. Stay with us, and we'll do what we can to support you all the way.

Vera-b

[Carmac]

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Hopeful -

Please talk to your physician in detail about the anxiety, panic issues etc which is very common while in menopause. I had very similar issues and was at a total loss. With her help and seeing a counselor, they haave helped me so, so much! Just getting good sleep is hard at this time and so critical to leveling yourself out. Whether your GP or gyno - go talk openly with them including the alcohol. There is hope!