What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

[Jobi Wan]

What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

:new:
My other half certainly doesn't drive me to drink but he is continually disappointed in me for doing so
I'm currently in a great habbit of stashing a bottle of Vodka in the laundry, I'm pretty sure he knows it's there but he chooses to ignore my drinking.

[Chelle12]

What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

Hi Rach, sorry to hear you're having a rough time with family pressure.
I've avoided my mum for a while now, because of the 'lectures' that I get. Only the other day, I phoned her up and 5 mins into the conversation she was lecturing me on how to bring up my son. She has this knack for making me feel as low as an earth worm, even though she doesnt mean to. When I phoned her to tell her I was quitting drinking, rahter than supportting me she actually gave me another lecture "well, you're killing yourself..... what about your son... he needs you.. your behind on the housework..."
After that phone call I bloody well fancied a drink!
And my dad? he just refuses to believe it. Just says to me "dont drink anymore" and that is that.

Jobi Wan - Welcome to the board
I can SO relate to the bottles in the laundry. I had them everywhere..but my other half kept finding my hidey places and pouring them out. I was so pleased when my hoover packed in and had to get a new one, because I kept the other one in the cupboard and stashed bottles in it.
As Im cleaning the rooms in my house now, Im coming across bottles that I cant even remember stashing away... shoeboxes, under the freezer, in the bread machine (I never use it).... I could open up a flaming off-licence with the stuff Ive found.

[Starlight Impress Forever]

What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

O.K. rachelita.........I get you now.

I think people and families can say all sorts of things that can make us WANT a drink.........you know like........anything hurtful or spiteful. But you know, there will always be times in life when other people upset us, intentionally or otherwise, and that is one of the reasons that I think sustaining sobriety may just possibly be a little more tricky than initially striving for sobriety.

Each day, I`m learning to take whatever life may throw at me, good or bad, and doing my level best to deal with it. I all but opted out of life for far too long........simply ran away from all my problems and sought solace in a bottle.

It`s not always easy to deal with life`s problems without a drink to act as a buffer, but it is a huge boost to one`s self esteem to finally know that we do not need the drink and that we can indeed cope without it. I have never felt as liberated or brimful of hope as I do today.

Darling x

[Waiting for his way out]

What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

I have had so many arguments with my husband, could not even count them to be sure. But, I can tell you about the anger of watching the person you love kill himself and feeling so inadequate and powerless to make it stop. I found the bottles, I have poured them out, I have tried threatening, understanding, screaming, yelling, compassion and care..picked-him up off the ground, took his clothes off and put him to bed... and many other things to painful to mention.
I have stopped wondering what I have done to make him drink.. I have not done anything..because nothing really works (good or bad) unless he wants to be AF. I don't believe we will ever understand each other about AL, but we can work together to make it better or at least we will almost die trying, simply out of love.

[nancy]

What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

I think as the others have said that it's up to you how you respond to someone making you angry. If it wasn't a family member, it would be some other stressor. Alcoholics assume that drinking is an acceptable response and in reality it makes everything worse. Until you develop other ways to cope, it's going to be a problem.

I would also say that when you have a drinking problem, you can become dependent on people. You black out and someone takes you home or as you have found, you need a place to stay so you are in the domain of someone else. Your problem becomes their problem and so they have to find ways to fix you or control you.

It sounds like you don't like that feeling of being dependent but have no choice because of the drinking. I think you are going to get tired of all that am I right? The whole lifestyle of being watched and judged? Maybe you can use it to motivate you to find a solution that works. whether that is medication, or group meetings or coming here. Good luck. We are all hoping you find your way out.

[Guest]

What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

Hi again Rachelita, My dh said and did many unhelpful, and downright hurtful. things...I finally had to detach emotionally for awhile and concentrate on myself. It helped me become a stronger woman but I obviously am still learning. My periods of being AF are getting longer and easier....but I'm here to learn more so I can stick to an AF life.........can you detach from others' words and behaviors and concentrate on your healing? Hope it's not too early to make suggestions since I'm very new here but I hope we can all share what we've learned to help each other. Gaia