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What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

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    #1

    What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

    Most of those loved ones around us who don't have drinking problems don't understand, can't understand, or simply won't even try to undertand alcohol depenency.

    Often they lash out or watch you like a hawk, or ignore or leave you completely.

    As some already are aware, my sister lashed out on me in the family forum.
    My parents would search the house for evidence of drinking and then put the bottles they found on the kitchen counter in plain view.
    My ex husband would yell at me and call me names while he got high all the time.

    So, my question is, what have people done in response to your drinking that makes you want a drink even more?
    It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission.
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    #2
    What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

    I am lucky that I live a long way from my family and BF likes to bury his head in the sand about evrything, not just this.

    But ANY comment at all could set me off I think- unless it was made truly out of concern as my mum did soon after my dad died, and not judgement.

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      #3
      What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

      "I still love you, and I'm truely sorry, but I can't go back there" *ouch*

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        #4
        What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

        watch you like a hawk
        I wouldn't say this drove me to drink but it certainly lead me to be so sneaky and lie so much about my drinking in the first place. Thankfully this weight has been lifted from my shoulders recently and it's actually made a hell of a difference to my life. Don't feel the need anymore to cause drama or sneak drink into the house and find even more inventive and ingenious ways to hide or get rid of the empties.

        I think though my own paranoia played a big role in me perceiving others' views that I maybe misconstrued as being offensive rather than showing concern.

        Love and Happiness
        Hippie
        xx
        "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
        Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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          #5
          What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

          I`m really sorry that you`re having such a rough time with family pressure, rachelita.

          But there`s only one way to win that particular war, and that is to appreciate that noone actually drives us to drink.........it is indeed our own reactions to their hurtful words that drive us to drink.

          So, next time some family member tells you what a no-good alkie you are, and how disappointed they are in you........rise above it, and be determined to be driven to anything other than drink, like a walk in the park to cool off. Their words can only hurt you if you allow them to do so.

          We can only become sober and truly well when we face up to the hard fact of taking 100% responsibility for our own selves and our own actions.

          Darling x
          Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

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            #6
            What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

            Darling;431291 wrote: I`m really sorry that you`re having such a rough time with family pressure, rachelita.

            But there`s only one way to win that particular war, and that is to appreciate that noone actually drives us to drink.........it is indeed our own reactions to their hurtful words that drive us to drink.

            So, next time some family member tells you what a no-good alkie you are, and how disappointed they are in you........rise above it, and be determined to be driven to anything other than drink, like a walk in the park to cool off. Their words can only hurt you if you allow them to do so.

            We can only become sober and truly well when we face up to the hard fact of taking 100%responsibility for our own selves and our own actions.

            Darling x
            When did you become so wise?:H

            Hips
            xx
            "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
            Clean and sober 25th January 2009

            Comment

              #7
              What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

              Hmmmm hip.........since I finally acknowledged that we all walk our own paths in life........other people may pull our strings a little, but........noone actually pushes us.

              Life can often get us down, but there is really no way back up, `til we accept responsibility for where we`re at today and vow to DO something about it.

              I recall TIT saying that "sobriety is not for cissies".........how very true.

              Darling x
              Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

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                #8
                What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                Yes, WE are in the drivers seat when we CHOOSE to drink. It is not a mindless choice. We all are in the process of changing the way we think about everything, not just AL. Good luck, Rach.
                Kriger
                "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                  #9
                  What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                  No one really does anything to make me drink or even make me weak to drink. It's really all down to me. I didn't need an excuse like someone said this, someone done that so i'll drink more. I just did whether anything bad or good happen.

                  When i used to drink to much my husband would say, i just can't do this anymore... It would never make me drink more. It would make me sit back and think.

                  I know you're going through a rough time but you need to be strong and do this for YOU. I don't think you're family are driving you to drink, i think you may be using it as an excuse and IF they really are then you need to get away from them until you're sober and strong enough to turn up and go, Hey, i'm sober have been for this long. You need to earn there trust and respect again. They are hurting so much. Putting the bottles in full veiw is a way of them saying... do you think we're stupid, why are you doing this to us. You're sister wrote her feelings down to get you to listen, take it in, also a way for her to get it off her chest.

                  If i was you, i'd print of your sisters letter and keep it on you. Everytime you want a drink and are tempted... read it. I mean really read it. It could just save you.

                  I am really sorry if any of that sounde harsh, I promise i'm not meaning to be. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm here for you, we all are. We can do this. I'm on day 3 AF, lets do a month together and prove to ourselves that we are great cause we are. We've just had a rough time.

                  Oh and, forget anything your husband said to you. You really are great and well done for starting this program!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                    No one can really say anything to me to make me want to drink more. I always freak out and then quit drinking for a few days til the panic passes.

                    Other things make me want to drink...like if it is a nice day, if I have gossip and need to talk on the phone, if I make a sale at work, if something pisses me off...I could go on and on!

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                      #11
                      What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                      Hi Rachelita, Sorry you're having a hard time.....if there's one thing I've learned it's that no one "makes" me want to drink....it's my choice and my responsibility. I think there are stages we go through before we gain control....are you reading about sobriety....going to a support group...doing a workbook...trying the hypnosis. Like everything else in life what we get what is what we put into making changes. Sending a hug, Gaia

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                        #12
                        What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                        Okay, I think I worded the question wrongly...

                        I totally realize it is my choice. No one makes me do it.

                        Perhaps the better question would be what do loved ones say or do that make you want a drink?
                        It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission.

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                          #13
                          What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                          My husbank also says very hurtful things to me. Gets angry, verbally abusive, gets our children involved etc. I too have used that as a WTF, I'll just drink. I was drinking away my anger at him, the guilt, the pain etc. It was def. a trigger, but if it wasnt that, Id have another trigger. It could be a song, a reward after a hard day at work, a great cleaning day treat, a stressful time with my teen. I always had a trigger or an excuse. I see it clearer now. I also blamed my husband for making me worse. It was easier to blame than to accept my problem. For the first time in a long time, I have been 14 days AF. I am still angry at him. He has not even mentioned that he has noticed. We have barely spoken in a month or two. Not sure if there has been to much damage on both of our parts. Regardless of what happens, I will feel better about myself if I stay sober. I think you will to if you get sober. Good luck. 1st with getting sober, then with your family.

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                            #14
                            What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                            "Good Morning"...Ha! IAD
                            ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                            those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                            Dr. Seuss

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                              #15
                              What do people you love say or do to drive you to drink?

                              My husband goes and buys me alcohol. No one thinks I'm outta control. I ordered antabuse. Now no one can tempt me. It affects my soul, and Im tired of it.
                              MM

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