Zoning out AF

[Boss.man]

Has anyone found a key way to calm your mind while being AF?

For me, Alcohol is such a crutch. After a busy and hectic day I get home, and I just want to wash my racing mind clear of the thoughts and worries and angers of the day. I've always enjoyed the fact that it is quick, effective, and also causes me to fall asleep (although that's not true sleep).

I've been using Valerian as a relaxant. It's also quick, but it has long lasting effects for me. I can feel a single pill for 48 hours after taking it. It also makes my sinuses "squeeze" which makes me feel like I have a bit of the flu. I've been using 1/2 unisom for sleep, which worked well for a couple months, but now I think I've overdone it because it's destroying my sleep more than helping so I stopped it back on Tuesday. I've been reading a book recommended here on meditation, and I think that's a highly valid approach. But I'm only just starting that, and I'm not particularly the meditating type, which is probably part of my problem.

Has anyone else found a good way to just zone out and wash the worries away for a short time, with no after effects?

[A Work in Progress]

Zoning out AF

For me, the key is in learning and effectively practicing the mental skill of shifting my attention. This is what meditation teaches; but "formal" meditation practice is not the only way to learn how to do this, and do it reliably. [Probably a practice that would work a bit better for you would be something called the body scan, and there are lots of good guided instructions about that, that you can download. PM me if you want more info.]

The problem really isn't that we have racing or disturbing thoughts; the problem is that we pay too much attention to them. It helps tremendously to learn how to step back from them a bit, to label them and observe them for what they are, without being highly judgmental and reactive about them; and, then, to learn to shift our attention to something that is not distressing, upsetting, etc. That's not the same as "zoning out" (and of course, you may already know that meditation is certainly not a method of "zoning out"). It can be a simple target like our own physical sensations, or shifting attention to, and noticing whatever sensory input we can perceive from our ears... whatever. They key is to do it repeatedly, and without a lot of mental drama about it. Simple (not easy, but simple):

1. I have been obsessing about or worrying about something, all wrapped up in it.
2. I suddenly notice that I have been doing the above! The act of "noticing" brings the opportunity for some detachment, and to exercise freedom to switch channels.
3. I take a deep breath and shift my attention to something else, something that doesn't get me so wound up.
4. Repeat, as needed. Also, repeat even when it doesn't feel "needed." That increases our mental "strength," i.e., our brain's capacity to engage in attentional shifting. It's particularly helpful when one encounters "cravings" or thoughts about drinking.

wip

[lil.michelle]

Zoning out AF

WOW about the Valerian. I have to take 3 (1 more then stated) before i feel anything at all. I just drink tea, watch tv and try to go to bed really early. I'm going to need to find something soon tho as i can't keep going to bed at the same time at my 11 month old *lol*

[startingover]

Zoning out AF

That is great advice wipster. I struggle with my thoughts too. I tend to get a book and read as that takes my mind off whatever is troubling me

[A Work in Progress]

Zoning out AF

startingover;431464 wrote: That is great advice wipster. I struggle with my thoughts too. I tend to get a book and read as that takes my mind off whatever is troubling me

Yeah, I'll second that one, S.O.! if I can, I'll stick my nose in a good novel. That's another durn good method!!! Free (if you go to the library), effortless, and causes zero hangovers!!! And no commercials (gawd, I how hate TV!!)!

[lushy]

Zoning out AF

Many people swear by GABA which is consider nature's valium. It is supposed to be very calming. I have some but have not taken enough to give my opinion yet.

[Boss.man]

Zoning out AF

I love books, and don't watch TV except for evening news and a few documentaries. My problem with books is they sometimes add more angst into my life. I can't read about a fictional murder and then turn over and go to sleep. I read biographies a lot, and because of time and distance they seem far off. Ben Franklin had 32 extramarital "affairs"; apparently founding a country is "thirsty business" or something like that. I should go to the bookstore now and see what looks fun because I'm out of books again.

[startingover]

Zoning out AF

I do a big shop on amazon every so often so that I always have something to hand.

Lushy, I live on Gaba, that and True calm do help me I think

[startingover]

Zoning out AF

Now you are asking one 2 )
Hold on i will go and grab them. Back in a tick

[startingover]

Zoning out AF

OK, books that keep me on the straight and narrow so far.....
Augusten Burroughs - Dry
Tom Sykes - What did i do last night
Caroline Knapp - Drinking a love story
Sober for good - Anne M Fletcher
The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure - Chris Prentiss
The easy way to control alcohol ? Allen Carr
Stop Drinking - Beachamp Colclogh

All of them are good One 2

[Boss.man]

Zoning out AF

Ok WIP. I just ordered

Amazon.com: Body Scan: Managing Pain, Illness, & Stress with Guided Mindfulness Meditation: Sona, Vidyamala: Books

It's an audio book. It means I need to go buy an audio. I actually don't own any music or CD player outside of my home theater system and my car. I think they're quite cheap now, so no biggie.

Thanks for the suggestion.

[A Work in Progress]

Zoning out AF

Now that we are onto books as distractors (to banish all our cares and woes... at least for a little while!). I thought I should add: hobbies! games! learning something new! Any of those things will absolutely absorb the mind into the state known in cognitive psychology as "flow." It has to be a task that is challenging, but not TOO challenging, so that it is enjoyable (there has to be some reward involved in it) and so that the "thinking" mind cannot intrude. Playing chess is a good example (if you like chess) or learning to knit. For me, working with my photos is a big "flow" activity.

[A Work in Progress]

Zoning out AF

Boss.man;431542 wrote: Ok WIP. I just ordered

Amazon.com: Body Scan: Managing Pain, Illness, & Stress with Guided Mindfulness Meditation: Sona, Vidyamala: Books

It's an audio book. It means I need to go buy an audio. I actually don't own any music or CD player outside of my home theater system and my car. I think they're quite cheap now, so no biggie.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Great! I'm not familiar with that particular one, but from looking at the Amazon links, it is clearly the same thing I was referring to. I think you will find it a lot easier to "get into" than the standard formal meditation practice of sitting still and observing the breath sensations. It's a method we teach in the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program (pioneered by Jon Kabat-Zinn), and I use it a LOT, both professionally and personally.

Meantime, here's a link to a guided body scan you can download or listen to on the computer.

Let us know how it goes. And give it time! Doing this just once or twice won't do you much good!

wip

[startingover]

Zoning out AF

I am "learning" psychology. Does that count ? )

[caysea]

Zoning out AF

Hi Boss.man
One of the way's I have found to calm myself,help sleep and change my lifestyle is by getting back involved in physical activities.I personally enjoy tennis which gives me a physical outlet and mental challenge. I also do bike rides from 25-30 miles on the weekend.It has helped me get over the sleep problem and connect with other people living a healthy lifestyle.Many people on the site are using running swimming and many other physical activities which really seem to help in many ways. I am now interested in getting info on yoga which I think will also be a big help in the mental and physical aspect of living a sober life.Physical activity has been a great tool in helping me fight this battle.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08