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    #16
    Zoning out AF

    Ok WIP. I ordered the CD's and tried your online body scan. Very hard for me. The only way I'd relax is if the gentle voice said "your employees are all at their desks doing their jobs", and "two more customers just bought your product and a third wrote a testimonial on your website"... It's a great idea, and I'll check it out more, but I'm a long way from that space. Also, with three pooches, lying down on the floor is problematic, and I've spent way to many days in bed to enjoy that space for now.

    And Caysea had a great suggestion about exercise. Except that I get bored to death exercising. Machines are excruciating. I love swimming but getting wet several days a week in winter is not my bag. Jogging historically gives me knee and foot issues, and that was when I was younger. I walk every day with my dogs, but only for about a half mile or so.

    But it gave me an idea.

    I always loved on my Asian trips watching lots of people do Tai Chi (Tai Chi Chuan, now spelled Qi Gong). When one wakes up in the morning in Hong Kong, you see rows and rows of people in every park, doing Tai Chi in unison. Since Tai Chi is a set series of moves, people walk in and simply match where the others are, like a line dance. It looks so peaceful and meaningful to do a slow motion dance in the park, particularly when dozens of everyday people, old and young, do it in unison. It would be fun to learn it, and since it's done standing up, the dogs would not be a problem. I can use my TV Room to play the CD.

    I imagine they are probably all bickering in their own way. "My white swan is more extended and elegant than yours". "Well my Gnarled Pine is more gnarled than yours!". "My Peaceful Butterfly is more at peace than yours!" "Well watch as I flip you off with my toe during my Leg extended to the Waving Ocean!".

    I ordered this three other beginning CD's

    [ame=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000XUF6CE]Amazon.com: Step by Step Tai Chi with Tiffany Chen: Tiffany Chen, James Wvinner: Movies & TV[/ame]


    And lest you think I'm really ready to relax, it will be here on Friday because I ordered 2nd day shipping! Haha, I can't wait to relax!

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      #17
      Zoning out AF

      Boss Man, you have made me smile at this unearthly hour (5.52 am)
      You sound strong and positive, I love the comment about your employees!
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #18
        Zoning out AF

        Tai Chi is excellent! I hope it works out for you.

        As to your meditation experience: everything you describe is pretty much exactly what everyone else experiences, too, when they begin meditation. It isn't necessarily going to be "relaxing" (that's really not the point, although it can be one of the long-term benefits), and it is probably not going to be easy. I tell folks that it is a form of exercise in which one learns a new skill, like learning to serve a tennis ball. It takes a lot of practice and at first it feels very awkward and uncomfortable. Meditation is a mind skill, a form of attentional training. It involves a lot of mental noting (noticing and labeling one's thoughts and sensations), and shifting one's attention, when it wanders. It takes practice, and it produces excellent results, but (as with physical exercise, or tai chi or yoga) only if you are willing or able to devote some daily time to it.

        My dogs and cats eventually learned that when I sit or lie down on the floor it is not necessarily a time to play, or crawl all over me; they can sit or lie down with me, in the same room. That, too, took a little time.

        Anyhow, if you ever decide to work with meditation practice again, remember that being "relaxed," or for that matter having any particular kinds of feelings, is not a pre-condition, and is not something to strive for, or expect, in the practice.

        Let us know how it goes with the tai chi!

        best wishes,

        wip

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          #19
          Zoning out AF

          Hi Boss.man,

          I can identify, as both a writer (mind wants to go 85 mph ALL the time) and a small business owner. I did buy Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of NOW, and found it extremely helpful. I've practiced meditation for a year or so now. . .this book actually helps make it quite possible to have a form of meditation as a person's usual state of mind (spirit?). I also picked up a smaller book of PON exercises to help 'jolt' me back to consciousness, from time to time.

          I just got the hypnotherapy DVD's from this site yesterday, and listened to the first two. Now I'm playing the 'subliminal' CD. Very relaxing, and much like an automatic meditation, IMO. I'm just getting into the MWO program - got started on the supps and tapes, waiting on the Topamax. Yesterday was the first time in. . .????. . .that I had one drink of wine at lunch, and no more. So far today, no real cravings. (This from a 2 bottle a day woman.)

          Hope you find a way to rest your mind. I know how exhausting it can be!

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            #20
            Zoning out AF

            the mind is a terrible thing....

            All:
            I have similare issues, unable to quiet the mind when sober. Maybe I'm afraid of the "presence" as Eckart Tolle refers to it.
            Anyway, below is a note from xtexan when I asked him how he did it.
            Hope this helps.
            Phil


            Re: Questions for a sober guy
            Phil:

            Great questions, always glad to help.

            Yes, I took Prozac from around 1996 to 1999. Took my last one on my birthday in 1999. It did not help me that much, but I was still drinking like a fish. Actually, it made me drunker than I would have been normally, so it was really no good for me.

            I started taking 5-HTP after that, and I liked that a lot better. 5-HTP is over the counter of course.

            Now days, I find that GABA, valerian root, kava, and passion flower extract, all mellow me out real good when I want to chill out the brain and nerves. You can get L-tryptophan again now, and I get it at Wal-Greens these days. It is great for sleep and calm.

            Now you can take this however, but getting off the caffeine has been the biggest single improvement in my anxiety and panic more than anything else. I have now been totally caffeine free for two months, and what a difference!! Avoiding both refined sugar and caffeine have made world of difference to me, and I feel very much more calm, peaceful, and relaxed.

            It took over a month for all the stress chemicals to get back to normal after getting off the coffee, tea, soda and whatever with caffeine in it.

            Whenever I would quit booze or ciggies in the past, seems like I would increase sugar and caffeine to make up for something, and now I know that was a bad thing to do.

            I would caffeine and sugar load my body, and feel way too tense and anxious, and then guess what? Yep, a major booze bender lasting as long as I could get away with it.

            Good luck to you. It didn't happen overnight, and I had many starts and stops. This time I think it is going to take hold solid, and I am hopeful for my future like never before. Now going on 2 years and 4 months AF.

            Neil


            Quote:
            Originally Posted by cpn1004

            Neil,
            A couple of questions for you, old engineer of much sober experience.
            Were ever on Prozac? If so how long?

            How did/do you quiet the mind?
            I notice that after about 3 to 5 days of not consuming 8 beers a day I experience a feeling of euphoria. My mind seems really clear and I get all these ideas about books to read, things to do and all that. It seems almost manic. So to quiet myself what do I do? Sure, have a beer. Well as you know I can't have just one and the cycle begins again.
            Thanks for your help,
            Phil, another old engineer in Texas.
            Love and Peace,
            Phil


            Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

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              #21
              Zoning out AF

              One2Many,
              Caroline Knapp's "Drinking: A Love Story" is one of my very favorites. I have memorized portions of it from reading it so much (sneaking it at the library and bookstore, though, cause didn't want to check it out!) You'll find more comments on the book as well as others on the What We're Reading thread.

              CS

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                #22
                Zoning out AF

                Hey Boss,

                Hope all of the suggestions are helpful. Personally, I enjoy a daily 4-mile walk (brisk) that lets my mind wander, ponder and eventually relax. I also find music to be relaxing. Perhaps you can get a few cd's of artists you really like, and let the music take you to a different place. My husband also has a stressful career, though it stops short of all the worries of being a business owner like you. In any event, on particularly stressful days, he'll head to our basement after dinner, slip on the headphones and begin whaling on his drum set!! His head is transported far, far away from the worries of the job as he bangs away on the high hats, bass, snare, and all the other drums. Primal, yes. Noisy? a little. Effective? absolutely.

                Vera-b

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                  #23
                  Zoning out AF

                  What is Gaba??

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                    #24
                    Zoning out AF

                    Herb tea does it pretty well for me in cool weather, and flavored sparling water in warm weather.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                      #25
                      Zoning out AF

                      Hey Boss,
                      I can't remember what part of town you're in, but I got a book this summer called "Walking Tours of Portland," that has some amazing information about various parts of town (you take this book on a short walking tour on your own or with someone and it's pretty relaxing,fun and educational). Of course we're starting to get the rain now, and it's darker in the evening but it could be something for future.

                      For me yoga CDs have been helpful. I can't watch TV or movies regularly because I always used to do that with a drink in my hand (yes I know there's sparkling water out there but it's not the same!) So I've been doing the yoga CDs, reading and otherwise going places in the evening when I can (works well for me because I'm also an at-home drinker). I'm starting a weaving class that meets two evenings a week. Have you thought about doing something at a community center or somewhere? I'm hoping that even a couple nights out a week of something relaxing will help with the after work stress.

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