newbie

[periwinkle]

newbie

:thanks:
I did talk to my husband last night. It was a short conversation and a little surprising to me that he didn't keep the conversation going. I told him that I had found this web site, and that I was going to buy some of the products from here. I said that I know I need to cut way back and if I can't be successful with that I may need to stop all together. I told him that the recommendation was to do a 30 day AF at some point and would he be willing to do that with me? His reply was "during football season?". Of course he was kidding and he told me that he would be glad to do that or anything else I need to help me. He didn't ask me any questions about my drinking that he doesn't "see" and I didn't offer. I will have a more in-depth talk with him later but that seemed like the first little mountain to tackle for now.

Thank you for all your thoughts and comments.

periwinkle

[vertigo]

newbie

Periwinkle,
I'm really new here too, but I'm glad you talked to your husband, and like his sense of humor! He does sound very supportive, and it seems you've now really taken a great move forward.
FYI, I did the same with my husband - I just called him at work one day and said we needed to talk, that I needed his help with something, etc., and he was very supportive. I also just told him this past weekend about the Kudzu. At first, I wanted him to think I was just being able to limit and moderate my drinking on my own, but then that seemed wrong, and I wanted him to know how I was really doing it. He actually admitted that he noticed a decrease in my drinking and habits, so hopfully everything is on a good track, and I sure hope it works that way for you!
Best of luck!
GMW

[Seacailin]

newbie

Hello and Welcome
I must have missed your post before. I am sorry.

[Evie.Lou]

newbie

Some can MOD some can't.You will not know until you try.If you can get some time AF and then test the waters, you may be able to do it.I KNOW that I can't MOD but I am in full support of those who can...In either case, you will find support here..

[Boss.man]

newbie

periwinkle;432212 wrote: I feel depressed and discouraged today. It seems like almost everyone is telling me that it’s all or nothing with the AL.

Periwinkle, the whole MYO system from RJ is a system to find balance in Moderate drinking. The Kudzu and Topamax can help some people do that.

Read the book, and read it again. Its a Mod system. So don't feel discouraged at all.

I've done a lot of reading into the biology and physiology of Alcohol. A lot of my recent thoughts and summary of what I've read is here.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...tml#post430901

The basic story is that through age, daily drinking, long-term drinking, binging, smoking or doing other substances, all of our bodies will react differently both to the AF process and also to whether we can moderate.

The problem is we've changed our mood-brain (midbrain) so it is dependent on serotonin from alcohol. If we merely cut down our drinking, that's functionally equivalent of forcing your mid-brain into a permanent depression. Because you drink sometimes, your body's natural serotonin production won't kick on. Because your serotonin is low, you'll feel depressed and moody. A lot of us have been there and done that. If your serotonin system is geared to have 4 drinks a day, you'll feel depressed on 1 drink a day, and you won't recover because you are still dosing the system with the problem. (BTW the MWO program uses Topomax and Kudzu both of which help mediate the serotonin system, so the prior sentence describes a natural brain, not one using serotonin mediating supplements).

If you go AF for a week or a month, what you are really doing is letting your body return to it's natural biology. Only then, after a period of time, will your body's own serotonin production kick in and your moods will return to normal. That's why people advise you go a time without AL. It's simply to get your own body to reset back to a natural balance of chemicals and hormones and establish a new baseline.

At that point, a lot of people try moderating. Unfortunately, for many, it's like a camel in the desert; one drink and suddenly it's Midnight at the Oasis "Starlight Spinning in my Head". At that point a lot of people decide it's too much risk for too little reward, and go permanently AF.

Personally I've had to lower my hopes quite a bit, at least near term. After my first 7 days AF, I had a glass of wine, which was my goal. It was followed by another glass, then about 2 liters of hard liquor over 3 days. Again, in my link above I explain there is a biological reason for this, and I don't have to feel that guilty. I just have to find a way to in sure the first glass is never followed, or just not have it at all. For now, I have a bottle of Fre wine and my lemon juice, and I'm just going one day at a time. But I'm not discouraged. I really was drinking a lot in the last year, and have been a daily drinker for 28 years. To even imagine I can come out of this healthy has me in a great mood.