I lost it

[Boss.man]

I made it through the debate just fine. Avoided my political forums which are a weak spot. I took two 2 two Valerian for insurance and slept really well.

At like 2am one of our many smoke alarms started beeping. You know, the beep like every two minutes. We have five just upstairs in our house. It drives you nuts to stand quiet for 10 or 15 minutes to figure which one, right?

So there I was standing on a ladder(old house 9' ceilings), in my bathrobe, in the dark to avoid waking my spouse (how sweet) , in the guest room. I got it down and removed the battery. Good Job well done.

The beeping spooked one of my dogs out in the dog run so she's now howling to all the neighbors at 2am. Got to stop that. Need shoes, dog run full of poop. Stepped in poop outside the dog run. Stupid dogs, don't poop outside the run. Went out to the cold rainy run and convinced old dog things were Ok and time to stop howling and come in. Good job well done.

And then of old habit, stop by the computer for a quick check of world markets. Asia, Barf, Japan closed 9.5% down. Europe, super Barf, down 5%. Russia closed mid-day due to volatility (way down). At 2am not only are world markets going very wrong, they are super duper wrong. Never before has there been this level of global economic collapse except during the 1930 depression.

I check this site. Major World Indices - Yahoo! Finance

I'm afraid I still don't have the wherewithal to match my fragile AF skills against old habits while enduring a worldwide economic meltdown with dog poop on my shoes.

It's apparently a trigger for me. I'll try to do better. I think I'm ok with poop, but in the future I'll insure that lifetime global economic crises become an AF moment. Day 1 tomorrow.

[Cinders]

I lost it

Boss.Man,

I found if I have alcohol in the house, I will find a reason to drink it.

In my case, there is no alcohol here. That way during a weak moment, I can't go open it.

Would your spouse be upset if there was none in the house? Mine is adamant there is none. Of course, he does not drink and desperately wants me to stay sober.

Love,
Cindi

[Cheech66]

I lost it

I agree if I am going to realistically go AF I can not have beer around that is my weakness if it is there eventually I will drink it then go threw the whole cycle again!!!

[KTB]

I lost it

Hey Bossman: These last couple weeks have been totally stressful and scary. Can't stop thinking what will happen to us if hubby loses his job. He's 57. We will have no med insurance, no life insurance, no income, the 401k has lost 40% over the last couple years--totally screwed. He's already been underemployed for the last five years. Went from $120,000 annually with IBM as a consultant to $60,000 as a web architect here in town. Back up to +$70,000, but we don't notice it with the cost of living what it is. I have been saying for a long time that the government makes up their numbers. They're saying that inflation is 5%. I took a random sampling of items I buy regularly at the grocery store. I came up with 20%, and in some cases 30%. Who do they think they are kidding? Kay

[dexterhead]

I lost it

Boss man. I hear you. I'm scared to death.

[Cinders]

I lost it

Kay,

Money worries are a huge trigger. I understand. When I was in the middle of being tested for MS, I had the same concerns. It was so hard to keep the beast at bay, but at least Antabuse got me through it.

Luckily, I don't have MS. But for a few weeks there, I was so worried about losing my job, etc. It was very scary since I make the bulk of the money for the family.

Good luck with the job situation and try to stay strong.

I forgot to ask, is hubby losing his job a possibility? Has he started looking around for different employment just in case?

Love,
Cindi

[Waiting for his way out]

I lost it

It will get better, it has to. we have to keep our chin up and look for the good things in our lives. We live near the beach and used to head for the great lunch places after a couple of hours in the sea and sun, now we pack our lunch and umbrella.. still enjoy the sea and sun. Don't drive yourself crazy about what could happen, try to stay focus on what you are doing now. I also lost well over 50% of my income this past year and don't see it come back in the near future, but if we stay healthy and alive, we are ahead of the game.
Smile.

[Cheech66]

I lost it

Remember spending money on boozze will not help the bottom line every little bit of $ counts stay AF you can do it keep posting!!!! It helps

[on my way]

I lost it

Yep, I agree with you all. The markets are scary, food costs too much and no booze in the house helps me remain sober.
My hub and I own a small business, 3 full time 2 part time employees. I am very afraid for our employees, fortunately we have been up lately but who can blame me for being paranoid??
nat

[AAthlete]

I lost it

Just goes to show you the power of alcohol. If you had run that scenario through in your mind beforehand, would you have seen it lead to your having a drink? If it was me most likely not. Our 'dependency', as I think you framed it, will wait for any opening to exploit and it is often ones that we would never think of that get us.

It is a scary time to be a small business owner, a businessman or simply an employee these days. The key I think is to be aware that feelings like these can arise, and have a plan in place to deal with them. Really, do we have much of an option? There is very little that we can control or influence in the markets, but it hits us just the same. That powerlessness can easily overwhelm us if we are not careful.

[periwinkle]

I lost it

hang in there Boss.man!

[Boss.man]

I lost it

I'm up. I'm being good. Haha.

There is true trouble out there, but we're going to get through it and be stronger and better than before.

And I'm going to get there AF and sleeping well and waking up early and alert every day.

I'm never going to miss the hours in the next 10 years, that I lost to alcohol in the last 10 years.

[bloggy]

I lost it

Boss-

I haven't read every post of yours but I find them extremely interesting and have read many- and it does seem that you do most of your drinking at home, and therefore not having it in the house should be a major help for you?

I unfortunately am the other way- I 'slip' when I am out and about, and I cannot do anything about the drink being in ample supply outside my home, but if you were to get rid of it I feel half your battle would be won.

[lil.michelle]

I lost it

Hey hun. Sorry to hear you lost it but Hey, it happens to the best of us. I agree that having drink in the house is just tempting fate really. It's so easy to get hold of when you have a weak moment which we all do.
I'm glad you're starting again! Stay strong through all this! Look forward to readin your posts!
*Big Hug*

[A Work in Progress]

I lost it

One of the things about getting over a deeply entrenched habit, or compulsive behavior, is that it generally requires what is known in psychology as "contingency management," which is the technical term for dealing with known "triggers." I think most of us understand that it would be foolish to ask a crack addict to go through a detox and treatment program if there were little packets of crack cocaine, and pipes, etc., sitting around on the bedside tables in the facility... Why then do we expect we can begin to un-learn our compulsive drinking behaviors without making some changes in our environment(s)? Fundamental first steps, for most people, include getting the alcohol out of the house, and not hanging out at drinking parties with drinking buddies.... Much later, as new coping mechanisms are becoming consolidated within our minds/brains, as we get stronger at handling minor triggers, we can begin to engage in behavior that would be really foolish and risky in the early days...

wip