Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

[Theme2be]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

I would have posted sooner but, I was drinking.

I am devestated that this Topa and this program of vitamins that I continue to guzzle did not at least influence this condition. I am not after the magic pill, but, my heavens something to relief this power over me and my life.

I have a history and then suddenly this hell?

I just wish to convey that anyone in this same boat is not without a caring thought from another.
I care and am concerned.

I also, envy those that get it from the gate.

It is my hope to not loose my hope.

[Chelle12]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Hi Theme,
Feeling numb this morning. After yesterday's crisis with the dog I didnt drink at all.. unfortunate how it takes a crisis to temporarily stop me...
I just knew I hadto stay sober look after him.
Well, that and the fact that I simply cant afford to after the extortionate vets fees.
Woke up in a cold sweat, but have no desire to drink.
Some of the stitches I hav in my gumhave come out too.. Im wondering ifIve made that worse by drinking the wine the day after the op?
My own fault, I guess.

Today is another day though.. and Im typing this with my poorly dog lying over my feet snuggled in a blanket... he's had his breakfast and morning meds and is now resting

[Nurseindistress]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

I can relate

I am in the same boat as a lot of you here. I am drinking less than I used to, but still having problems once I start--often wake up the next morning with the lights and TV on, not remembering going to bed.

I feel that I have been making progress by having more days each month AF, but sometimes it is hard to stay positive, because others just "do it" and it seems that unless you can do that, you are not succeeding. There are a lot of messages out there--"you can't ever drink, or you will get back to where you were". etc, that makes one fee like a failure unless one remains totally AF. I really feel, however, that decreasing my days of drinking is really helping--I don't feel quite so "desperate" for a drink, and I am learning that I can have a good time without drinking.

I hope this really is progress, for all of us.

[Chelle12]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Is it actually possible to mod?
What does "mod" mean?
How many glasses of wine a night is "modding"

At my worst, Im drinking 3 bottles of cheap white wine a day... at "best" Im drinking 3 glasses...

[startingover]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Hi Chelle, I am no expert and I know that I cant mod, but from what I gather, modding is when you are able to take or leave alcohol, that it doesnt take up head space wondering when, what and how much I can have. When a glass every so often is satisfactory and you are drinking for the taste rather than the buzz (to me that would seem pointless, but thats just me)
I know I will never be able to do that, but many people can

[Chelle12]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

startingover;438227 wrote: Hi Chelle, I am no expert and I know that I cant mod, but from what I gather, modding is when you are able to take or leave alcohol, that it doesnt take up head space wondering when, what and how much I can have. When a glass every so often is satisfactory and you are drinking for the taste rather than the buzz (to me that would seem pointless, but thats just me)
I know I will never be able to do that, but many people can

Ah.
Well that's my modding attempts over with then.
Its all or nothing it would seem.
I cant takeorleave alcohol.
One glass to me is pointless... what's the f***ing point of that? If Im going to poison myself, I may as well go the whole hog and have the bottle.

It seems to me that I have more than just issues with alcoholism...
I just need to figure them out and address them.

In the meantime... just call me Mrs J Creek.... or "Clay"..

Ive read numerous books on alcoholism and people's "way out" including RJ's and recently have tried Allen Carr's book on quitting drinking..

NOTHING stops me from drinking.

And before any of you start... I dont need a lecture.... There's NOTHING any of you can say that can make me feel worse about myself than I already do.

Hurrah for those of you who are AF since God knows when
Hurrah for those of you who are successfully modding.

Me, on the other hand will spend her life in a fucking bottle by the looks of it, because I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO.

[Dolly Sunshine]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

I don't think anyone has lectured you this whole thread or all the months you've been here. why are you being so hostile? People should NEVER feel badly because they've done well.

[Chelle12]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Im being hostile because I know Im doing wrong.
Im hostile against myself... but like all humans , I find it easier to take it out on others rather than myself.

Im sorry... I dont know what to do.

I NOW you people are fantastic... and Im so sorry that I vent here, but I have no friends (obviously) so I use this place to say my feelings,

Im sorry.

[Dolly Sunshine]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

You have friends here

[Chelle12]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Dolly Sunshine;438258 wrote: You have friends here

Thank you :l

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Hi Chelle,

I'm a wino, too! :wavin:

I had a very bad day yesterday. My cramps were so severe I couldn't stay at work so I went home on the couch. I took some meds the dr gave me but they don't help, either. Make me sleepy but the cramps are unbearable. After a while I said f* it. I opened the fridge and there it was...about 1/4 of a 1.5 bottle of my best friend, Chardonnay. I took the bottle out, I'm doubled over in pain by the way, then it struck me. There was no one home to get me more when I ran out of wine. And I was going to run out QUICK. So I put the bottle back in the fridge, made a HUGE bowl of ice cream and devoured it. I fell asleep on the couch to some horrible nightmares. But, I was AF yesterday.

I care about you :l

The only thing that stopped me from drinking that wine was MWO. For those brief moments I realized I would have to drive to the store, in incredible pain, on medicine. There was a chance I could kill someone when driving. Before MWO, my brain would never have even gone there.

It takes time and that's the frustrating part. I won't give up. I won't give up on me and I won't give up on you, chelle. :h

[KTB]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Seems I always get more depressed and want to drink more when I'm broke. Go figure. We have had to help two of our kids out lately (a lot), and it is killing us. Going to try for AF today and tomorrow. Listened to the sleep learning cd last night and will do the hypnotic again today. At least it takes my mind off the economy. The weather is dreary and depressing adding to my mood. Hubby is in a funk, too. Hang in there everyone--let's give it our best shot. Kay

[gyco]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

hi chelle, a modder here for now,never no when all stop again,you can actually make joy of this,ever had a little candy,probably not, hahha,i never did,and thts the way i look at AL today,a little,i guess its easy to say for me,i have no problem stoppin,just staying stopped,like many others,that is thegood thing about this place,you can never fail,a young lady told me,unless you fail to come back,will listen as best as we can,as long as we can, dont be so hard on yourself,have a great day gyco

[kriger]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Chelle,
So sorry you are going thru a rough patch, but don't ever feel as tho you have no friends...you have all of us. We are here for you in good times and bad. Kriger

[New Day]

Anybody else here struggling with being more than one day AF?

Chelle ---- I'm feeling sort of like you are. I was doing well at staying AF for 4 - 5 days in the last couple of months, then a couple of drinking days (usually Fri & Sat), however the last week and a half, I've had more drinking days than not .... have slipped back to old habits. Today, I'm so depressed about how much I've been drinking in the past week. When I do, I don't like to post, but today is another try at being AF. Tomorrow is our family Thanksgiving dinner, so there will be lots of wine, but I'm preparing the whole meal, so I won't be able to indulge until dinner and then I hope to limit it. In the past, I've carried on drinking wine until bedtime .... sort of my "reward" for all the work. Will think of something else to reward myself with.