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**vlad** · October 13, 2008, 05:43 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Hi Seto and thanks for posting. You say you've managed to control your drinking a bit - so you must feel like you're having some success. Well done! I find sticking close to the boards helps. I was drinking around 2 beers and half a bottle vodka nearly every day. Cutting out the vodka helped me to 'moderate' a little, but I was probably only actually cutting back as I just obsessed about drinking all the time. Joining MWO has helped me to battle that obsession, to the point were I managed to abstain for 30 days in September. The AF Army Thread is really helpful - because there is usually someone on ready to respond and support you. Not sure that's what you needed to hear - I'm not the best at advice or support really. Keep posting often.

**startingover** · October 13, 2008, 06:06 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Hi Seto, your story sounds much like mine regarding lack of direction, depression and no interest in anything except drinking.
I had and have many personal problems and thought I was coping with them through drinking. I wasnt. Drinking was fueling my depression and making my life seem worse than it was.

Since I have stopped drinking things have improved dramatically for me. I am no longer depressed (that doesnt mean that I no longer get down) and I am able to deal with elements of my life that I was unable before.

So, I guess my first question to you is do you want to stop drinking? There is so much help and support here that will help carry you through but the motivation has to come from you.
It is doable, it is hard, it is worthwhile. Being sober is the best high I have had.

Do you have any plan in mind to stop? Have you read the book and got any supps etc.
I think that would be my first step.
Stay close to us and keep posting. You can do this you know.
Best wishes
Startingover

**gyco** · October 13, 2008, 06:19 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

my dear it is a battle,you could join me tomorrow for a new forum,lol should i or shouldnt i,someone was smart enuff to make a new forum,i i understand wht they ment,monthly moderation, or long term mdoertion,this place is open to any suggestion,thts why it works,gyco and yes gyco is ok som family issues just had to vent,cuse i no you folks listen ty

**tlrgs** · October 13, 2008, 07:04 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

it sound to me that you already know what you want.. so just grab it.. you have two wonderful kids carry a pic of them and everytime you feel the need look at it .. and yes maybe do it for them if that helps.. but just know you can do this.. you say you have had control at one point ..well start again ..
remember what you did last time and apply it to now ..
but just do your best stay strong and think positive

**IAD** · October 13, 2008, 08:22 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Seto, Hang in their....wer'e here to help. Keep trying, the fact you have'nt given up means a lot ! IAD.

**Thankful** · October 13, 2008, 08:43 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Seto, so sorry that you are struggling so much. All I can do is echo every word that "startingover" has posted.

You have to want sobriety more than anything and not let anything get in the way of achieving that goal. I think this battle is 99% mind set. Now matter what life throws at us, we have to decided that a drink is not going to make it better. Believe me, stress was my biggest trigger. So for me, I know it was a mind over matter situation. The choice is ours. No one is lifting that glass to our mouths.

Decide if you want to drink or not. If not, remove every ounce of alcohol from your house, car, garage, etc. DO NOT leave any for an "emergency", etc. That will just give you an excuse to find an emergency. Stay close to us. There is always someone here to help. Come here before you pick up a drink. It really helps. It's what got me through and I have never been happier in my life.

Please remember that you have to do this for you and no one else. You are worth it and you deserve to be healthy and happy.

To heck with the last 3 plus years. It will just depress you to think about it. You can't change the past. You can change your future. It's up to you. Right now, in this very moment.

So....what are you going to do today??

Love, Me
:l

**Boss.man** · October 13, 2008, 11:14 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

I'm with startingover also. I had nearly constant anxiety attacks that have ended entirely since I've been working on being AF. Maybe it's the Kudzu. But something is making me feel a lot better, and I recognize that the daily AL was what was bringing me down. I figure for every hour I was "buzzed" I would pay back 2 hours being depressed, and anxious. That was awful.

I haven't been a huge success on being AL free. Got some 7 day sessions, and on Day 3 now. But I still feel better to be trying. I'm hoping these words can get you to get some Kudzu and try again too.

**WaitingToExhale** · October 13, 2008, 11:25 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

AH Seto! Look at MY join date!

I didn't make it the first few times around either, And in fact, got worse.

But I'm back with a new plan and DAMN it's working this time.

I'm taking it baby steps, threw in the Topa this time around, I'm 37 days into serious modding and actually starting to get a few AF days under belt.

They are RIGHT! To hell with the past 3 years! Gear back up, get a plan in place. I will be your biggest cheerleader because I am in the same boat and I came back too.

You / We can do this. Really. It's our time.

**lil.michelle** · October 13, 2008, 11:54 AM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Hi hun.

Drinking while on depression tablets is a real no no. It stops the tablets from working so it's just like you having to suffer with no help from postnatal depression. I know, i did the same. Drink is a depressant and when already depressed i just cancels out the effect of the drug so that could be a HUGE reason why you feel no interest in things and your inspiration for life has gone. I honestly know that feeling as i was the same. I know how hard it is to stop drinking but honesly, drink and postnatal depression is a nightmare. You'll be stuck in a circle forever.

When you drunk less did you feel a little better? I find when i'm not drinking my tablets work wonders but even one drink completely messes me up.

You can do this. It's life changing and well worth it. Buy the supplements, get the drink out of the house and keep trying!!! You're a really really strong person for trying for sooo long with or without success. I'm sooo sorry to hear you have postnatal depression. That is the worse thing ever. It's sooo hard. *HUGE HUG* We're all here for you, keep posting and i hope you start feeling better soon!!!

**GoodAsGold** · October 13, 2008, 03:09 PM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

You're head's pointed in the right direction - here! Towards support & understanding
Keep close & keep us posted

Gold

**SAUSAGE** · October 13, 2008, 03:27 PM

Any words of encouragement would be great!!!

Hi there
I too was drinking heavily after post natal depression (plus on medication) It was a real downward spiral, drinking more and more, feeling worse and worse. I have 2 kids aged 3 and 4 and it was after the second was born, that things got really worse. I then had to have a hysterectomy earlier this year which depressed me even more. However I realised I had a problem and am slowly sorting myself out. This site has really helped and I'm now on day 43 AF. It's tough at times, but with lots of willpower and thinking what do you really want for you and your family long term, you can get there. Read around the site, post and keep going. everyone is here to support you
Good luck on your journey
sausage x

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