Really scarred

[Keeney]

Hey guys, I'm new ... tried so many times, but to no avail. Used to be just a few glasses of wine, but now a Saturday or Sunday can be 2 bottles of wine a day, add a 4 bottle pack of Smirnoff ... always with the promise when I go to bed that the next day will be different. It's been a long while since I can remember what I have done past the dinner hour and it's really frightening me. I have gone to AA, but that public forum just is not for me ... I'm an introvert and wish I could just do it on my own.

My work is suffering, my communication with my partner is suffering ... if someone can offer me some advice, I sure would be grateful.

[christyacc]

Really scarred

I don't know how to help you, but I understand where you are. I'm sorry I can't give you more other than, you aren't alone......

It is frightening......this intense experience.......I can relate when you say, 'Saturday or Sunday can be 2 bottles of wine a day, add a 4 bottle pack of Smirnoff ... always with the promise when I go to bed that the next day will be different'......a lot here can say this is what they drink every night.........

I am scared as well as I am in the same place and I 'get it'.....we all do...PM or email me any time...I am always trying to stop this......

[A Work in Progress]

Really scarred

Welcome, Keeney! Here's some advice: get acquainted with the MWO program by downloading or buying the book; spend some time here in the forum, reading various threads, and asking questions. Tell us more about yourself; what are your goals? If you are determined to put a stop to the pattern you have been suffering with, you can get help here.

best wishes,

wip

[lukalee]

Really scarred

Hi Keeney. It is a bit scary, but I think the alternative (keep drinking) is even scarier. There are many great groups on this site. My advice: read, read, read, reach out when you need to (before you pick up the bottle), and try your best. Holy crap, I think I am going to take my own advice. I say I will try my best, but am I really? It's not going to kill us to not take a drink, but it can if we do. You can stop the suffering; it will get better.
Welcome!

[Angelcakes]

Really scarred

Hey Keeney, WIPs advice is (as always) very concise. MWO is a whole programme, researched & proven...make is easier on yourself by reading the book to find out what it's all about.
And congratulations!! Today is the first day of your new life WOOHOO!! :goodjob:
Angle xo

[kriger]

Really scarred

Keeney,
Welcome to MWO! This is a good place with many helpful, caring people. I hope you decide to become part of our community. I look forward to getting to know you better.
Kriger

[Rags]

Really scarred

A very warm welcome to MWO,
It is a biattle many here have contested... with a number of successes.

Take heart that you are not alone, and that there is a wealth of advice on this website.
Like the others say, read and learn.
Have a quiet think about whether you want to cut back or go AF (alcohol free). From there you can start to work out plans and strategies to help you. You can do it on your own.... with a bit of help.
I suggest you get the book and have a look at getting some of the supplements.
Is your partner in a position to give you support and assistance?
And, don't beat up on yourself........ that only suffices to make you feel bad, remorseful angry etc. so you then tend to get stuck in the cycle of drink, remorse, low self esteem, drink..... But it really does get better.
What a great start you've made by posting here.

[Boss.man]

Really scarred

Keeney you found the right place. Spend time here learning from this community.

There are people here from all facets. And a lot of us are scared. But we are united by the idea that we can achieve our goals, can change, and can become better people in doing so.

Please post more, chime in on other posts, read Roberta's book on the website, and also read what people say here on a daily basis.

For me, I grew more perspective on my first week here than in the prior 10 years of reading and fearing for myself.

[christyacc]

Really scarred

We are united by the fact we WANT to change.......you will learn so uch by reading.....read the MWO book,read the posts, keeping reading about this disease...the more we educate ourselves, the better off we are.......the act we are here is a step in the right direction......

[Guitarista]

Really scarred

G'day Keeney, and Greetings to all as i am new here too. Keeney, my first day alcohol free today, and is scary, but as was mentioned earlier, the alternative is scarier! This is an awsome site, with great caring helpful people. I've found just reading lot's of threads to be so helpful. I've seen myself in every thread! I've also realised that for me, it's all or nothing with the grog which is a bit of a relief to finally understand that, so i can plan my attack. Keep trying, don't be too hard on yourself, and stay with this community. and.......A big welcome to you...G

[Chelle12]

Really scarred

Keeney;441626 wrote: Hey guys, I'm new ... tried so many times, but to no avail. Used to be just a few glasses of wine, but now a Saturday or Sunday can be 2 bottles of wine a day, add a 4 bottle pack of Smirnoff ... always with the promise when I go to bed that the next day will be different. It's been a long while since I can remember what I have done past the dinner hour and it's really frightening me. I have gone to AA, but that public forum just is not for me ... I'm an introvert and wish I could just do it on my own.

My work is suffering, my communication with my partner is suffering ... if someone can offer me some advice, I sure would be grateful.

Hi Keeney, I used to be the 'just a few glasses on a saturday/sunday' person too.. its scary how it escalates so much and so fast. This past year for me has been a blur.
Apparently Ive promised my son that Id take him to pizza hut this friday... cant even remember the conversation
AA is not fo me too.. I jut dont get the bowing to a higher power and having a mentor/stalker.. too much of a loner... Id probably just get frustrated and end up lashing out.

[vlad]

Really scarred

Hi Keeney - I find if I set myself a date I can gear myself up to it. I suggest downloading the MWO book and giving it a read and ordering the supps. I spent the whole of August preparing to go 30 days alcohol free for September, I chose September because the 1st was on a Monday and there are 30 days in September, LOL! Just a suggestion, I know it helped me.

[autumn08]

Really scarred

It's Okay

Hi Keeney:

I am new here too and have been stuck on this site. I haven't been one to jump in and post because I can't stop reading. Everyone here is AWESOME!

I got the book and read it over the summer and thought I can do this. The supps and the meds scared me too much. I just want to moderate (mod). I really enjoy my wine. Well here it is Oct and I'm still doing a bottle to a bottle half everynight.

I joined MWO on Monday and it has really given me hope! I just ordered the cds and supps this am. Please read the book and stay with us! I have set my target as soon as my supplies arrive. You must read Peri's thread...Roberta's Recipe and you'll understand more what I mean.

Good Luck and let's do this together! :h

[mise.]

Really scarred

Hello keeny I am new too, this is my first post. I seem to be the same as you, all week I am good as gold, then if I have one I keep at it... I wish I could just know when to stop, like enough already . So far this forum, ( and I haven't read much yet) seems to be a fantastic source of help and advise.

[Seacailin]

Really scarred

Welcome Keeney and Guitarista
I would give exactly the same advice that you have already received.
I was struck by what I read in your post Guitarista; seems we have the same drinking pattern: Lock ourselves away, call out of work, and drink alone. That is me for sure. How often I have wondered if I would still have a job after one of my benders.
We are all in this together, and I am so grateful that we have each other. Even if I slip now and then, I have still had more AF days since joining this site than I have had in the past four years.