Another Newbie...

[matchee]

I've been a drunk for a long time. I'm nearly 35 and have drank virtually daily to excess for the last 20 years. I cut it down to night time after everyone else had gone to sleep and slammed pints of vodka. A week ago I went to my doctor and he prescribed campral. I've been taking it everyday and it seemed to cut the cravings- but I would drink anyway. I seriously couldn't think of any reason to drink but I did it anyway.

:new:

[startingover]

Another Newbie...

Hey Matchee, a big welcome to you!
Well done on going to the doctors. That is a great first step. Do you want to stop drinking or do you just feel that you should? Those are questions I asked myself to start with..

[matchee]

Another Newbie...

startingover;444274 wrote: Hey Matchee, a big welcome to you!
Well done on going to the doctors. That is a great first step. Do you want to stop drinking or do you just feel that you should? Those are questions I asked myself to start with..

Good Questions. I know I have a problem. I love my family and am afraid my wife will leave me if I keep it up. I know it's wrong but there is something inside me that wants to feel the numb. My body is so used to it - I don't know how to go without.

[startingover]

Another Newbie...

Oh yes, I can relate to that perfectly.
Well, I just decided that I didnt want to kill myself slowly any more and I wanted a life. Then came the difficult bit.
So what I did was read the book and get some supplements. Those really helped with the cravings. Then I soaked up the support and information on this site like a sponge. You can do it, we are here for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to

[patricia]

Another Newbie...

Hi Matchee

Welcome - this is a good place to be. There's loads of us out there and we all try to support one another through the good and bad times.

Px

[patricia]

Another Newbie...

Hi - yes I hate writing my age as well so I'm not gonna . . . . . but do feel a lot younger and prettier when I don't drink!

Px

[patricia]

Another Newbie...

Oops - replied to wrong thread!! (No, I'm not drinking!) Px

[startingover]

Another Newbie...

Hey P, I was wondering what was happening there. Kept thinking did I miss something ))) Easily done though

[patricia]

Another Newbie...

No its just me being dim!

[matchee]

Another Newbie...

Thanks for the replies...

I've been really lucky- good job, beautiful kids, beautiful wife... but I'm hanging on to all of it with a single thread. I've had a dui, went to jail for 4 months. Somehow managed to keep my job and my wife. but now I'm back to drinking again. You would think after going through all of that i would just drive on past the liquor store. But I can't- I think to myself " I won't drink it, I'll save it for a late night some time if I can't sleep." Then after the wife and kids have turned in for the night I drink a pint of cheap vodka down in 2 gulps. It's pathetic but to me I don't see anything wrong with it.

[startingover]

Another Newbie...

I hope you can do something Matchee. It would be dreadful to see you lose your family over an addiction. It sounds though like you are not quite ready yet?

[matchee]

Another Newbie...

startingover;444331 wrote: I hope you can do something Matchee. It would be dreadful to see you lose your family over an addiction. It sounds though like you are not quite ready yet?

I hope you're wrong- that's what I'm afraid of. Right now I feel like I really could quit- if I could put my mind to it.

I have to quit- i've got an appointment with a shrink next week so maybe that will do something for me...

[gyco]

Another Newbie...

hi ,matchee you found a great site good luck and dont go away stik around gyco

[startingover]

Another Newbie...

I hope I am wrong too Matchee. I had counselling and it did help me. But yes I was very scared even to make the decision to quit. Good luck and like I said, pm if you want to talk

[MormonMom]

Another Newbie...

Hey Matchee,
Welcome to what I like to call AA Meetings in the comfort of your own home. I too am on Campral. I drank through the first 3 weeks of it. And like you said, the cravings didn't really seem big, but I drank for no reason. I've now had 32 sober days. Not a lot, but for people like us, it's HUGE. I don't know if it's the Campral or not, so I just keep taking it.
As for driving past the liquor store, don't do it!! Take a different route home. It's a habit to stop there, so you need to break it. I used to buy wine when I was at the store during the day, "just in case" I felt like having a drink later. I wasn't craving it, but wanted it there just in case. Then, once it was in my house, I couldn't leave it alone until it was an empty bottle.
Come check out Monthly Abstinence. Many people struggling through those first days post there. It's good to read stories that are so much like yours.
Good luck to you. You can do this if you put your mind to it. As they say, "Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today?"