wondering....

[christyacc]

Is it me, or are all the functions we are asked to join are alcohol related? We had friends ask us to come over...for drinks last night....we declined.....we received an invitation for a wine tasting party...good god....how do we handle these without explaining you are trying to abstain, and also not alienating your friends?

The wine tasting party is across the street from me so I can't even lie and say I am busy!!! lol....

We have the holiday season fast approaching and there will be booze flowing galore. I think I may just hide in my cocoon until such a time it is mandatory I am required to be there and I have more time under my belt to decline.



I am curious about how others handle situations like these.......

[Accountable for Me]

wondering....

I just tell them that I quit drinking. What are their responses when I say that? 'Thank Christ you quit!"

Seriously though, no one thinks much about it when someone says they quit. Not drinking is a good thing. A healthy way of life.

[periwinkle]

wondering....

I'm pretty new at this too, so haven't run across it much yet.

Yesterday after my grandson's b-day party at the park my DIL asked if we wanted to come over for a margarita. In that case I thanked her for the offer and said that I felt like heading home. I had a flu shot just before the party and really wasn't feeling great so it was truthful to a point.

When my mom and dad came over a week or so ago, I was worried about it since my mom and I like to drink wine or margs together. I set everyone's place with water. My dad and hubby had a beer and my mom didn't ask for anything else. After dinner I made each of us a marg (this was before my 30 day AF period). So I just made mine super weak.

I told one friend who asked if we wanted to come over for drinks that I was laying low on the drink for now and he replied that he should probably do that too (go figure?). Then he suggested rootbeer floats yummy!

We are also making plans to do stuff with some of our non-drinking friends. Funny we don't get together with them that often (go figure again?)

Hope you get some answers.

periwinkle

[vera-b]

wondering....

Hi Christy,

It's a fact. Booze is part of modern society. Friends rally around the drink; even the non-profits advertise a "wine and cheese." My goal has always been one that can enjoy these encounters without slipping into the alkie situation of always thinking about the next drink (not to mention having THEM and being a stupid drunk all night!). Sort of having your "cake" and eating it, too. Don't know what the ultimate answer is, but sometimes we just have to be true to ourselves and do what's right for us. I've been in many a social situation where I've needed to be AF. The funny thing is that NOBODY else cared how much I drank - just me and hubby. So enjoy yourself and do what you need to do - even if that means declaring "thanks, but I'll pass."

Vera-b

[cke123]

wondering....

Shit....I go through this daily..."wanna have a drink after work" sure! "wanna go have patio beers" SURE....what no one realizes is that I am hungover every other day of my life and missing work. and making terrible decisions. I bet if they knew that they wouldnt ask me to do ANYTHING! HA!

None of my friends do anything even remotely sober. Time to make new friends.

[vera-b]

wondering....

Hi cke123,

Yes, it's time to make new friends. The sober ones are far more interesting. After how many years, I hardly know any more drunks anymore. I guess I was the last of the dinosaurs.

Vera-b

[lil.michelle]

wondering....

Hello! You know what, I just told people i don't drink anymore because for some odd reason as soon as i have a few sips my head wants explode and it brings on migraines! A little white lie.. YES but people never argued with it and that was that. I still go out ect ect but drink coke. If you are close to these people, tell them the truth... I've stopped drinking... If they laugh or try force it on you, say please respect my decision.

[Chelle12]

wondering....

christyacc;445788 wrote: Is it me, or are all the functions we are asked to join are alcohol related?
......

I think just about everything social is alcohol related!

Fancy popping to the cinema to see a movie?... There's a BAR
Going out for dinner? "Would Madam like to see the wine list..?"
Going out to pubs/clubs... well, there you go... shots/pints/vino/alcopops/spirts... chink chink ice in glass..glug glug..say no more.
Going shopping? Booze aisle looks the the Long Green Mile...
Stay in and watch TV? people drinking in programmes you watch and they advertise it in the commercial breaks.
Christ... even if I go bowling, there's a frigging wine bar there now.... They'll be getting licence at bloody Maccy D's next.

[A Work in Progress]

wondering....

Yes we are OVERWHELMED by messages of all kinds that tell us that drinking is fun, stylish, hell it will make you rich and skinny and bring you a fabulous gf or bf (if you believe the ads)!

I think of it this way. Every time I see or hear or think about one of those messages, and I refuse to go along with it, I am strengthening the brain/mind circuitry that allows me to stay healthy and happy and AF. Then, when I am REALLY tempted by something terribly stressful in life, or by one of my worst triggers... I will be OK.

There are so many messages in our consumer-crap Western society that are deceitful... this is just another of them (but a particularly dangerous one, for us).

wip

[christyacc]

wondering....

I was sitting watching UFC on Saturday, sober--normally am not, and every commercial was either for a video game or Bud Lite......what the hell? My husband and I just sit there and pretend it isn't on....he is supporting me through this though he doesn't understand.

We were invited to this wine tasting next weekend, and well, I'd like to go as I haven't seen these friends for a while however, I really don't want to be tempted. They all know I drink (drank) like a fish, and will be expecting me to again.....I do have to work the next day, so I could use that. I could just be honest and say, I am trying to be healthy and lose weight and cutting back on booze.

I envy those who can just take it or leave it....I used to be like that...not sure why I am like this but I have to accept who I am and what I can and cannot do. I don't want my girls to see me bombed anymore....it;s no life for them, and I don't want them to end up like me........

[DeeBee]

wondering....

I came up with all sorts of reasons when i went AF... anything from "I'm on antibiotics" to "the medication I'm on reacts with AL" but at the end of the day when I gained confidence to tell people that NO I was not drinking because I don't want to, it was amazing the responses I got... from "good for you, I wish I could do that" to "yeah I also do that once a year" and also how few responses I got?

[bestlifeldms]

wondering....

DeeBee is right. I have gotten amazing responses. When out, at drinking functions, I order club soda with a twist of lime. Refreshing and looks like a drink. Unless someone hears you order, they wouldn't know. When rounds are ordered, and asked, I say I will have the same as last time. No problem. Or ice water with a lemon or lime. Have done both. If I am asked, I say, "I gave it up! This is better for me." I get responses from "Wow! Good for you!" to "That's what I should do." and "Cool" But nothing negative. I have never wanted to have people feel that I am being "holier than thou" or judgemental. Doesn't seem to be the case so far. Either a neutral or a positive response. Now, don't get me wrong -I would not attend if it is going to tempt you. But, if you are firmly entrenched in your sobriety and have the necessary willpower, go ahead and attend. That really is what society needs, is to see people enjoying themselves socially, without being hammered.

[Waiting for his way out]

wondering....

If you are a beer drinker and you visit family and friends, bring your own non-alcoholic beer?