Grumpy and feel this is pointless

[lil.michelle]

Seriously people. It's been over 3 weeks and i'm still wanting to drink. I'm really low at the moment, i could just burst into tears. I swear all my posts on here are of me moaning about something or another. There is no reason for me to be grumpy at all.

I thought if i stopped drinking i would sleep better but i sleep like crap.
I thought i'd lose weight... No chance.
I know i'm a better person for this, i know i've stopped hurting people and have saved my family relationship but i don't know. I'm so low right now. Sorry everyone. This is the time i'd be drinking.

I'm praying this will get better. I just need to be able to be grumpy, be upset, be happy, be fine and NOT think about drink. I know i'm not going to drink, i've come to far.

I'll go now.

[Chelle12]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

You HAVE come so far.
Dont stop now.
What you're feeling is natural... Iguess its kinda like a 'grieving' process... but just THINK how much goodyou've done your body by being AF for over THREE WEEKS!!
Jeez... you're an inspiration girl...
an dont you forget it.
Luv,
C

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

michelle,
Everyone gets the blues, don't be so hard on yourself. 3 weeks+ right? That's fantastic!

Go ahead and be grumpy, we all need to sometimes. Don't apologize, there's no need to.
I hope you feel better soon. Someone sent some sunshine to me the other day when I
needed it so I'm going to send some to you now... :l

[Chelle12]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

Oh, and By the way... 99.9% of my posts on this forum are of me moaning about something...! So you'vegot a long way to go before you beat me!
J/K
Hang in the there girl
xx

[Boss.man]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

Michelle, this sounds like a lack of sleep issue.

And I'm an expert on lack of sleep, having done it for years!

Tell me, what's going on with sleep? Are you falling to sleep ok? Are you waking up at night? What have you tried for relaxing before bed?

[A Work in Progress]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

LM it took me around 6 weeks or so to get my sleep straightened out. Same for weight loss, and I haven't lost much weight. And that doesn't seem to matter as much to me, 3 months AF. But: some of the things you want from giving up the alcohol are things that take a while.

And, think about this, OK: It may very well be (and this is true for many of us who begin recovery) that you have been hoping for a sort of ideal mind-situation in which you do not have wishes and impulses and cravings for alcohol. Maybe you have made sort of a deal with yourself that if you stop drinking, the cravings will (or should) stop bothering you. Lots of people do that, without even fully realizing they are doing it. And then, when they find that they still have urges to drink... it seems like the bargain has not been kept, it seems "unfair!" and resentment sets in. We say: "life sucks when I am drinking and it still sucks when I am not drinking, so I might as well drink." Well, that is a big fat lie, or distortion, or it is the "beast" or whatever you want to call it.... it is your brain/mind wanting something that it cannot have.

Think of it this way. Living a life dependent on alcohol, and drinking, is like standing on the train tracks while a train is speeding our way. Stopping the drinking is like stepping off the tracks. There will not necessarily be a basket of goodies awaiting us when we step off the tracks.... but at least we can pursue whatever life we want to work on pursuing... because we haven't been killed by the train.

wip

[Cinders]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

Michelle,

That is why I keep trying different things. I never do get over the feeling blue when I am not drinking. It is sad.

My girl and I were talking about it today. I feel better and so does she BUT the alcoholic mind keeps just chattering away. You just don't feel quite right.

She was saying she is so afraid after she has the baby that she will just go right back to it. But, then she said, "Oh well, I guess I'll just be fighting this the rest of my life."

So, I have tried the Topa - allergic, Campral - did nothing, Naltrexone - no effect, Antabuse - works great to keep you from drinking but does nada for the awful feelings.

Now I am trying Baclofen and this is pretty scary because there is not a whole lot of research on it, some but not a lot.

However, I am at the point, I am willing to try it and see.

No, I don't want to have to take drugs the rest of my life BUT I do want to get some serious time - like a year or so - under my belt before I try going off of anything that helps.

I know how you feel and I am there most of the time, too. :l

However, I am simply not going to give into it. I am going to beat this thing. Period.

Love,
Cindi

[Snowgoose]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

I am hardly one to talk but if you have saved family relationships and stopped hurting people, that's pretty darn good. But you still feel bad, and can't sleep. I have been told that topamax is kind of sedating, so taking it in the evening might help (if you are using it). Turning it around, you sound like a nice person--I can't imagine you would want to choose going back to the way it was before. Islept fine after my wine except for waking

[lil.michelle]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

Boss man OR anyone else who can give advice on sleep.

I tend to go to sleep early now as i'm not getting enough sleep (9/9.30pm) . I fall asleep fine, sometimes takes me only minutes. I wake up in the middle of the night, First at midnight and i'm up for about 30 mins and then around 2am and i'm up for a couple for hours. After that, i sleep lightly but keep waking up evey half an hour until 6 when my baby girl wakes up.

Before i go to bed i relax by watcing cartoons on the tv and curling up on the sofa with hubby. I SOMETIMES take a relaxing bath with sleep aid bubble bath and i have a warm cup of milk before bed. I've stopped drinking tea before bed.

I've been like this since i was a child but now i have my own child i can't handle it. I just want to sleep a full night. When i wake up, i never get up out of bed or anything, i just lie there trying to close my eyes and fall asleep. My brain just suddenly turns on and that's that.

[startingover]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

I dont know much about it but what about meditation to quiet the mind? WIP is your best bet to ask if you wanted to try it....
Michelle, you ARE doing great though. At 3 weeks I was still pretty low it really does get better.

[lil.michelle]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

Thank you everyone for all your support, i'll not go back to drinking but sometimes i just feel like this battle will never be over and i'll feel this way, craving ect ect for the rest of my life.
Funny thing is, i know this will be a battle for the rest of my life and even if the cravings never go, i'll continue to fight the beast and i'll never give up because drink changes you, makes you someone you're not, ruins relationships, friendship and lives so i'll never stop.

This is just me moaning, trying to get stuff of my chest. I just need a big cuddle from someone who knows what i'm going through.

[j-vo]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

lil.michelle,
I've had trouble like that forever. I think it's mostly anxiety, thinking about what's going to go on that day, what happened the day before. I tend to obsess over things that happen at work. What has helped me is Melatonin. It's a natural supplement that I take an hour prior to bedtime. Look it up- you can get it at any GNC or grocery store. Another natural thing, if you like tea is decaf tea and "sleepytime" tea or it's called something like that. Also, give it time. You'll get the z's you need.

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

Awww, sorry you feel as you do. It`ll get easier.........takes time to see some rewards, but you will do........:l

Star x

[Boss.man]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

If you are sleeping from 9:30 to 2 then you are getting through your REM sleep cycle just fine. This is the brain-reset cycle. It's not uncommon to wake at the end of the cycle after about 4 hours of sleep.

The second half of the night is an extension of the rest period. Being wakeful here can be a sign of stress (racing brain) or lack of circadian rhythm. The latter is common for initial onset of being Alcohol free. Ways to re-establish circadian rhythm are the same as for jet lag. Take meals on time. Stick to a 7 day per week schedule (no late nights). Also Sunlight helps, so if you are in a sunny place, go outside during the day.

Have you tried Melatonin? The normal dose is 3g. I split the pills and if I'm too "bright" at 2am I'll take 1.5g. However, for me, it's business pressures and a racing mind that I fight at night. That's why AL was so handy a crutch for me.

You may also want to look at meditation techniques to help focus your brain into a calm state for 2nd half of the night sleep.

[startingover]

Grumpy and feel this is pointless

lil.michelle;450110 wrote: This is just me moaning, trying to get stuff of my chest. I just need a big cuddle from someone who knows what i'm going through.

You moan as much as you like hun. Here is a HUGE cuddle for you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((CUDDLE))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))