Day 1....

[Panacea]

Good morning ya'll. Ok, today I begin....nervous, but have been reading alot of posts here throughout the morning, and it's motivating.

Something I did last night was read through my posts back in July, when I was AF for 2 weeks. I didn't recognize the person....could that be? Just after the first week of not drinking, my posts were open, not my secretive thought process....sometimes angry, but honest and not trying to be that person I "pretend" to be while I'm drinking. In one thread I started I was sooooo angry, but by the end, after working through it with ya'll, I felt better.

I'm staying right here! Please stay with me. I want to be me again.

[A Work in Progress]

Day 1....

Wow! Good for you, and what an amazing experience to see those changes in yourself! Very motivating. And this is hard stuff, so anything that gets and keeps us motivated is something very precious, and to be cultivated and brought to mind when needed...

Congratulations on Day 1!

[Panacea]

Day 1....

Thx wip! I'm determined to stay focused on the "prize", atleast for today - then look forward to tomorrow. o2m, I will stay close!

[Evie.Lou]

Day 1....

Stay close...we are all in this together and we will beat the beast....together

[Snowgoose]

Day 1....

I was Day 1 on Monday and sick all week but today I feel better. People kept saying encouraging things and I kept reading them. I was on this site every couple of hours or more. I think this helped more than the hypnosis CDs. I just kept coming back and coming back esp. at my favorite wine time which was all day.

[Seacailin]

Day 1....

Nice to see you Pan and Snowy
Day 1 for me was last Wednesday, and I felt like crap on Thursday and Friday
Feeling better today and will be off to work soon.
Hang tough folks!! We can do this!!

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Day 1....

Panacea,

I'm here with you and will stay by your side as long as you need. :l

Kudos to you for recognizing you need a change, what a huge first step!

Take care,
Be

[lil.michelle]

Day 1....

Hi hun!
Sorry you don't feel like the real you but it's great you know how to get yourself back. Reading your old posts is a great way to remember how you used to feel. Being sober is really hard but at least you become the real you. I'll stay really close! You need me at all PM me!
We're all here for you! KEEP POSTING no matter how you feel. Stay strong! GOOD LUCK!

[Panacea]

Day 1....

Hey ya'll - thanks for the words of encouragement. Its 5pm, so been thinking about the wine. None in the house, and not going to get any. I'm have a bit of anxiety about this decision and have heard that voice in my head saying "Its okay, it's Saturday!!!"...but the day of the week doesn't matter to me, so that line didn't work.

Didn't get to do the Mom/daughter run we wanted to do together, (it's rainy and windy here on the East coast), but went to the mall with her and saw High School Musical 3. Not my cup of tea, but not too bad. She loved it and we had a wonderful afternoon with NO arguements, so it was all good.

Hope ya'll are doing well today and thanks again.

[Guitarista]

Day 1....

Hi there Pan... It's morning here, and having a crack at day one. Today is the challenge!... work tomorrow ,so that's half the day gone a/f... so i've just got to keep chilled/busy in the evenings next week, and should be fine...Anyway, at least it's a start... Good luck to you on your journey.. like you, i have been a/f b4, so i know what's coming..Am looking forward to being fresh,energetic, spiritually cleansed, looking great etc... Be well, G.

[Lila]

Day 1....

hi Pan
just wanted to say Hi - I remember you from before. You are doing great!!
Lila

[A Work in Progress]

Day 1....

Pan (and G., too): I hope you're doing well!

wip

[Panacea]

Day 1....

Hi Lila! And all!

Day 2 begins! Made it through day 1 and feel optimisic today, which is keeping me hopeful. Actually went to get a glass of wine twice last night. Not so much because of NEEDING one, just out of habit...it was after 5pm and I hadn't poured my glass yet. The first time I opened the fridge and had no wine in there, and thought "Oh! Thats right, I'm not drinking." The second time I looked around wondering where my glass was to have a sip, then again, I remembered, "I'M NOT DRINKING!". A nervous giggle came out. Proud of my decision, thankful that the need was just out of habit, not physical need or for emotional healing (this time!), but a little shaken by the whole thing. I found myself thinking, "That was easy!". I know that won't be the case day by day and today will be another challenge, but I'm ready for it.

I'm here and I'm hanging on to this!

[Panacea]

Day 1....

Guitarista - I'm with you in this journey! Like you said, we both know how AF feels...Stay here with me (us)....we'll do it together!

[Panacea]

Day 1....

lil.michelle - thanks! Reading my old posts really did help, and made me realize my mistake by believing I could handle drinking and still be the real me again. Gotta learn to tame that "beast"!