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[Cinders]

Tool box

This was posted over the door to the commons room in one of my rehabs. I think of it often these days.

"Remember, if you aren't working on your disease, it is working on you."

Just a thought.
Cindi

[Faithful]

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I just found this and wanted to share it:

The Flying Trapeze
Sometimes, I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I'm either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments, I'm hurdling across space between the trapeze bars.
Mostly, I spend my time hanging on for dear life to the trapeze bar of the moment. It carries me along a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I'm in control. I know most of the right questions, and even some of the right answers. But once in a while, as I'm merrily, or not so merrily, swinging along, I look ahead of me into the distance, and what do I see?
I see another trapeze bar looking at me. It's empty. And I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. In my heart of hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on the present well-known bar to move to the new one.
Each time it happens, I hope?no, I pray?that I won't have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar, and for some moments in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab the new bar. Each time I do this I am filled with terror. It doesn't matter that in all my previous hurdles I have always made it.
Each time I am afraid I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless basin between the bars.
But I do it anyway. I must.
Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call faith. No guarantees, no net, no insurance, but we do it anyway because hanging on to that old bar is no longer an option. And so, for what seems to be an eternity but actually lasts a microsecond. I soar across the dark void called "the past is over, the future is not yet here." It's called a transition. I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing, and the bars are the illusions we dream up to not notice the void. Yes, with all the fear that can accompany transitions, they are still the most vibrant, growth-filled, passionate moments in our lives.
And so transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to "hang out" in the transition zone -- between the trapeze bars -- allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens.
It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening.
Hurdling through the void, we just may learn to fly.
An excerpt from Warriors of the Heart by Danaan Perry

[Faithful]

Tool box

I just found this and wanted to share it:

The Flying Trapeze
Sometimes, I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I'm either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments, I'm hurdling across space between the trapeze bars.
Mostly, I spend my time hanging on for dear life to the trapeze bar of the moment. It carries me along a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I'm in control. I know most of the right questions, and even some of the right answers. But once in a while, as I'm merrily, or not so merrily, swinging along, I look ahead of me into the distance, and what do I see?
I see another trapeze bar looking at me. It's empty. And I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. In my heart of hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on the present well-known bar to move to the new one.
Each time it happens, I hope?no, I pray?that I won't have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar, and for some moments in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab the new bar. Each time I do this I am filled with terror. It doesn't matter that in all my previous hurdles I have always made it.
Each time I am afraid I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless basin between the bars.
But I do it anyway. I must.
Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call faith. No guarantees, no net, no insurance, but we do it anyway because hanging on to that old bar is no longer an option. And so, for what seems to be an eternity but actually lasts a microsecond. I soar across the dark void called "the past is over, the future is not yet here." It's called a transition. I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing, and the bars are the illusions we dream up to not notice the void. Yes, with all the fear that can accompany transitions, they are still the most vibrant, growth-filled, passionate moments in our lives.
And so transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to "hang out" in the transition zone -- between the trapeze bars -- allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens.
It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening.
Hurdling through the void, we just may learn to fly.
An excerpt from Warriors of the Heart by Danaan Perry

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

I thought this was the epitomy of what MWO represents. This is a post from Tess-2 who just completed 30 days AF...and her lessons along the way:

Thank you, Byrdie, for the 30-Days-AF Hat!! If my house were to catch on fire, after getting people and animals out, that hat is the only possession I would run back in for. Nothing else matters nearly as much to me.

As it turns out, I do have a few words for our New Newbies. Big surprise, yes?...

If you are on the MWO site, reading this post, chances are good that you have a problem with alcohol. You may think that your problem with alcohol is not as big a problem as some other people have with alcohol (you know, those alcoholics). Well, that may or may not be true. But if you are not already a full-blown alcoholic, and you continue to drink, you are going to become one. And if your life isn't already a big mess, and you continue to drink, it's going to get very messy. Stop drinking. Stop now. Run as fast as you can from hell-on-earth toward true freedom -- and don't ever look back.

If I developed alcoholism (and I did) you will too. I was the classic "good girl": I didn't cause trouble and I didn't get into trouble. I studied hard, worked hard, was kind and generous and loving, and usually chose the harder paths in life over the easier ones. I was successful. Five years ago I started drinking to ease some anxiety -- to calm my nerves.

Thirty-one days ago I stumbled across the MWO site as I searched in despair for a way out of my addiction to alcohol. I was a complete and total mess. I had hardly a shred of hope of ever being able to free myself from the clutches of alcohol. Now I have been sober for 30 days. 30 days!!

How did I do it? I want to say that it was a miracle. And it was. But really, all of life is a miracle. And telling you that it took a miracle for me to stop drinking is not very practical or helpful, right? I mean, you can't drive over to the supermarket and grab a box of "miracle."

So, specifically, what did I do? 1) I read the posts of other people on the MWO site and gained information and encouragement. 2) I began to post. I just started writing and writing. I am normally a quiet person. But I wrote as if my life depended on it, because it did. 3) I got honest. I had turned into a liar in my attempt to keep my alcoholism a secret. 4) I removed all alcohol from my home and replaced it with fun and fab AF beverages. My fridge looked like a cooler straight out of Whole Foods market. 5) I purchased the MWO book, ordered and began to use Kudzu Rescue and Hypnotherapy CDs. 6) I exercised nearly every day from day-one of sobriety. 7) I significantly improved my diet. Previously my "diet" was 90% beer with a 10% side of junk food. 8) I made friends in Newbies Nest who helped me every step of the way. 9) I cried and shook and ranted and walked the floor at night -- but I would not allow myself one drop of alcohol. 10) I started a gratitude list and added to it every day.

What has 30 days of sobriety done for me? 1) I am no longer sneaking alcohol, lying about my drinking, and worrying about how dispose of the empties. 2) I no longer wake up with crushing anxiety, a nasty hangover, and a ton of regret. 3) I have lost 33 pounds. 4) My blood pressure is coming down. 5) I had a $20 per day habit. If my math is correct, I saved $600 (less what I spent on colorful AF beverages). 6) I can think straight. 7) I have shredded my well-thought-out suicide plans. 8) I am learning to like myself. 9) My dogs are happy. 10) I am free! I AM FREE!! I am forever free from the living hell of alcoholism!!!

Stop drinking. Start loving yourself and the people who share life with you. Stop making excuses. I know all of the excuses. I've used every excuse thousands of times. You are not going to outsmart alcohol. You can try. I'm certain that you have tried. There is only one word that you can say to alcohol that is going to save you: NO.

Join us in The Nest for a while. We make pretty good company. You CAN stop drinking. It is your choice. We would love to extend a helping hand. ~



__________________
Tess

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

I thought this was the epitomy of what MWO represents. This is a post from Tess-2 who just completed 30 days AF...and her lessons along the way:

Thank you, Byrdie, for the 30-Days-AF Hat!! If my house were to catch on fire, after getting people and animals out, that hat is the only possession I would run back in for. Nothing else matters nearly as much to me.

As it turns out, I do have a few words for our New Newbies. Big surprise, yes?...

If you are on the MWO site, reading this post, chances are good that you have a problem with alcohol. You may think that your problem with alcohol is not as big a problem as some other people have with alcohol (you know, those alcoholics). Well, that may or may not be true. But if you are not already a full-blown alcoholic, and you continue to drink, you are going to become one. And if your life isn't already a big mess, and you continue to drink, it's going to get very messy. Stop drinking. Stop now. Run as fast as you can from hell-on-earth toward true freedom -- and don't ever look back.

If I developed alcoholism (and I did) you will too. I was the classic "good girl": I didn't cause trouble and I didn't get into trouble. I studied hard, worked hard, was kind and generous and loving, and usually chose the harder paths in life over the easier ones. I was successful. Five years ago I started drinking to ease some anxiety -- to calm my nerves.

Thirty-one days ago I stumbled across the MWO site as I searched in despair for a way out of my addiction to alcohol. I was a complete and total mess. I had hardly a shred of hope of ever being able to free myself from the clutches of alcohol. Now I have been sober for 30 days. 30 days!!

How did I do it? I want to say that it was a miracle. And it was. But really, all of life is a miracle. And telling you that it took a miracle for me to stop drinking is not very practical or helpful, right? I mean, you can't drive over to the supermarket and grab a box of "miracle."

So, specifically, what did I do? 1) I read the posts of other people on the MWO site and gained information and encouragement. 2) I began to post. I just started writing and writing. I am normally a quiet person. But I wrote as if my life depended on it, because it did. 3) I got honest. I had turned into a liar in my attempt to keep my alcoholism a secret. 4) I removed all alcohol from my home and replaced it with fun and fab AF beverages. My fridge looked like a cooler straight out of Whole Foods market. 5) I purchased the MWO book, ordered and began to use Kudzu Rescue and Hypnotherapy CDs. 6) I exercised nearly every day from day-one of sobriety. 7) I significantly improved my diet. Previously my "diet" was 90% beer with a 10% side of junk food. 8) I made friends in Newbies Nest who helped me every step of the way. 9) I cried and shook and ranted and walked the floor at night -- but I would not allow myself one drop of alcohol. 10) I started a gratitude list and added to it every day.

What has 30 days of sobriety done for me? 1) I am no longer sneaking alcohol, lying about my drinking, and worrying about how dispose of the empties. 2) I no longer wake up with crushing anxiety, a nasty hangover, and a ton of regret. 3) I have lost 33 pounds. 4) My blood pressure is coming down. 5) I had a $20 per day habit. If my math is correct, I saved $600 (less what I spent on colorful AF beverages). 6) I can think straight. 7) I have shredded my well-thought-out suicide plans. 8) I am learning to like myself. 9) My dogs are happy. 10) I am free! I AM FREE!! I am forever free from the living hell of alcoholism!!!

Stop drinking. Start loving yourself and the people who share life with you. Stop making excuses. I know all of the excuses. I've used every excuse thousands of times. You are not going to outsmart alcohol. You can try. I'm certain that you have tried. There is only one word that you can say to alcohol that is going to save you: NO.

Join us in The Nest for a while. We make pretty good company. You CAN stop drinking. It is your choice. We would love to extend a helping hand. ~



__________________
Tess

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

I think this is a wonderful representation of the power of MWO. This is from Tess-2, it speaks to her first 30 days of living again. I hope you find it as powerful as I did!

From Tess-2 :

Thank you, Byrdie, for the 30-Days-AF Hat!! If my house were to catch on fire, after getting people and animals out, that hat is the only possession I would run back in for. Nothing else matters nearly as much to me.

As it turns out, I do have a few words for our New Newbies. Big surprise, yes?...

If you are on the MWO site, reading this post, chances are good that you have a problem with alcohol. You may think that your problem with alcohol is not as big a problem as some other people have with alcohol (you know, those alcoholics). Well, that may or may not be true. But if you are not already a full-blown alcoholic, and you continue to drink, you are going to become one. And if your life isn't already a big mess, and you continue to drink, it's going to get very messy. Stop drinking. Stop now. Run as fast as you can from hell-on-earth toward true freedom -- and don't ever look back.

If I developed alcoholism (and I did) you will too. I was the classic "good girl": I didn't cause trouble and I didn't get into trouble. I studied hard, worked hard, was kind and generous and loving, and usually chose the harder paths in life over the easier ones. I was successful. Five years ago I started drinking to ease some anxiety -- to calm my nerves.

Thirty-one days ago I stumbled across the MWO site as I searched in despair for a way out of my addiction to alcohol. I was a complete and total mess. I had hardly a shred of hope of ever being able to free myself from the clutches of alcohol. Now I have been sober for 30 days. 30 days!!

How did I do it? I want to say that it was a miracle. And it was. But really, all of life is a miracle. And telling you that it took a miracle for me to stop drinking is not very practical or helpful, right? I mean, you can't drive over to the supermarket and grab a box of "miracle."

So, specifically, what did I do? 1) I read the posts of other people on the MWO site and gained information and encouragement. 2) I began to post. I just started writing and writing. I am normally a quiet person. But I wrote as if my life depended on it, because it did. 3) I got honest. I had turned into a liar in my attempt to keep my alcoholism a secret. 4) I removed all alcohol from my home and replaced it with fun and fab AF beverages. My fridge looked like a cooler straight out of Whole Foods market. 5) I purchased the MWO book, ordered and began to use Kudzu Rescue and Hypnotherapy CDs. 6) I exercised nearly every day from day-one of sobriety. 7) I significantly improved my diet. Previously my "diet" was 90% beer with a 10% side of junk food. 8) I made friends in Newbies Nest who helped me every step of the way. 9) I cried and shook and ranted and walked the floor at night -- but I would not allow myself one drop of alcohol. 10) I started a gratitude list and added to it every day.

What has 30 days of sobriety done for me? 1) I am no longer sneaking alcohol, lying about my drinking, and worrying about how dispose of the empties. 2) I no longer wake up with crushing anxiety, a nasty hangover, and a ton of regret. 3) I have lost 33 pounds. 4) My blood pressure is coming down. 5) I had a $20 per day habit. If my math is correct, I saved $600 (less what I spent on colorful AF beverages). 6) I can think straight. 7) I have shredded my well-thought-out suicide plans. 8) I am learning to like myself. 9) My dogs are happy. 10) I am free! I AM FREE!! I am forever free from the living hell of alcoholism!!!

Stop drinking. Start loving yourself and the people who share life with you. Stop making excuses. I know all of the excuses. I've used every excuse thousands of times. You are not going to outsmart alcohol. You can try. I'm certain that you have tried. There is only one word that you can say to alcohol that is going to save you: NO.

Join us in The Nest for a while. We make pretty good company. You CAN stop drinking. It is your choice. We would love to extend a helping hand. ~


__________________
Tess

The man pulling radishes
pointed the way
with a radish. ISSA

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

I think this is a wonderful representation of the power of MWO. This is from Tess-2, it speaks to her first 30 days of living again. I hope you find it as powerful as I did!

From Tess-2 :

Thank you, Byrdie, for the 30-Days-AF Hat!! If my house were to catch on fire, after getting people and animals out, that hat is the only possession I would run back in for. Nothing else matters nearly as much to me.

As it turns out, I do have a few words for our New Newbies. Big surprise, yes?...

If you are on the MWO site, reading this post, chances are good that you have a problem with alcohol. You may think that your problem with alcohol is not as big a problem as some other people have with alcohol (you know, those alcoholics). Well, that may or may not be true. But if you are not already a full-blown alcoholic, and you continue to drink, you are going to become one. And if your life isn't already a big mess, and you continue to drink, it's going to get very messy. Stop drinking. Stop now. Run as fast as you can from hell-on-earth toward true freedom -- and don't ever look back.

If I developed alcoholism (and I did) you will too. I was the classic "good girl": I didn't cause trouble and I didn't get into trouble. I studied hard, worked hard, was kind and generous and loving, and usually chose the harder paths in life over the easier ones. I was successful. Five years ago I started drinking to ease some anxiety -- to calm my nerves.

Thirty-one days ago I stumbled across the MWO site as I searched in despair for a way out of my addiction to alcohol. I was a complete and total mess. I had hardly a shred of hope of ever being able to free myself from the clutches of alcohol. Now I have been sober for 30 days. 30 days!!

How did I do it? I want to say that it was a miracle. And it was. But really, all of life is a miracle. And telling you that it took a miracle for me to stop drinking is not very practical or helpful, right? I mean, you can't drive over to the supermarket and grab a box of "miracle."

So, specifically, what did I do? 1) I read the posts of other people on the MWO site and gained information and encouragement. 2) I began to post. I just started writing and writing. I am normally a quiet person. But I wrote as if my life depended on it, because it did. 3) I got honest. I had turned into a liar in my attempt to keep my alcoholism a secret. 4) I removed all alcohol from my home and replaced it with fun and fab AF beverages. My fridge looked like a cooler straight out of Whole Foods market. 5) I purchased the MWO book, ordered and began to use Kudzu Rescue and Hypnotherapy CDs. 6) I exercised nearly every day from day-one of sobriety. 7) I significantly improved my diet. Previously my "diet" was 90% beer with a 10% side of junk food. 8) I made friends in Newbies Nest who helped me every step of the way. 9) I cried and shook and ranted and walked the floor at night -- but I would not allow myself one drop of alcohol. 10) I started a gratitude list and added to it every day.

What has 30 days of sobriety done for me? 1) I am no longer sneaking alcohol, lying about my drinking, and worrying about how dispose of the empties. 2) I no longer wake up with crushing anxiety, a nasty hangover, and a ton of regret. 3) I have lost 33 pounds. 4) My blood pressure is coming down. 5) I had a $20 per day habit. If my math is correct, I saved $600 (less what I spent on colorful AF beverages). 6) I can think straight. 7) I have shredded my well-thought-out suicide plans. 8) I am learning to like myself. 9) My dogs are happy. 10) I am free! I AM FREE!! I am forever free from the living hell of alcoholism!!!

Stop drinking. Start loving yourself and the people who share life with you. Stop making excuses. I know all of the excuses. I've used every excuse thousands of times. You are not going to outsmart alcohol. You can try. I'm certain that you have tried. There is only one word that you can say to alcohol that is going to save you: NO.

Join us in The Nest for a while. We make pretty good company. You CAN stop drinking. It is your choice. We would love to extend a helping hand. ~


__________________
Tess

The man pulling radishes
pointed the way
with a radish. ISSA

[Mick]

Tool box

That is a brilliant post..it does credit to you Byrdie and everyone else who keeps the nest going...well done. unfortunately Tess has got it right...people who accidently stumble across the site..its a pity that more people are not aware of the power of supporting each other through this site

[Mick]

Tool box

That is a brilliant post..it does credit to you Byrdie and everyone else who keeps the nest going...well done. unfortunately Tess has got it right...people who accidently stumble across the site..its a pity that more people are not aware of the power of supporting each other through this site

[thelaststraw]

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WOW Byrdlady and Tess. Sounds like me!!!!

[thelaststraw]

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WOW Byrdlady and Tess. Sounds like me!!!!

[NoSugar]

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A message from a Newbie to the Super-newbies

Hello,

I tried to stop drinking on my own the last half of 2012 and had reasonably good success when I was away from home visiting someone or on vacation but slipped back into old habits at home and would drink too much wine most evenings. Around Christmas I thought I had beaten AL but then regressed AGAIN. I found several online support forums and decided that I would try one despite never having participated in (or believed in the success of) anything like this. I visited the “new” section of 3 forums and liked this one best because of the overall tone members used with one another (mostly unconditional love and support) and the words of several of the successfully AF mentors in the Newbies Nest really resonated with me (I need to hear “straight talk”). So I lurked for awhile and finally got up the nerve to join. I also decided I had to make this work because:

1. I have to stop drinking.
2. I can’t do it alone.
3. I won’t voluntarily go to a face-to-face meeting.

So that is the background that made me give MWO a try. The point of this message is that I noticed several new people in the nest over the last few days that seem to want very much to succeed, just like I do.

Maybe the “MWO rules” I made for myself after lurking and learning from the people here who have remained AF for extended periods (Thanks to all of you!) that have helped me so far will help one of you:

1. Read as many threads as you can and post often. It takes a great deal of time and the latter is tricky if that is not your normal personality. It isn’t mine but I’ve forced myself to do it and it is becoming less difficult. I think it is important to post when you are feeling good and strong so that it feels natural for you to do it when you are struggling and need help. Plus, members can help you better if you have given them the chance to know you.
2. Don’t read threads that undermine your goals. For example, I do not read threads that promote moderation because I could feel myself losing my resolve to stay AF when I read them.
3. I promised myself that when tempted to drink, I would first post and give MWO the chance to work its magic. Because this is a global forum, it seems that someone who is willing to help you is always online. (Please give us more than 5 seconds! Be patient and someone will be there).
4. I promised myself I would post about my anxiety when an upcoming event would involve alcohol and I was worried about my ability to resist temptation. The ‘words of wisdom’ I received in responses have armored me.
5. I probably should have put this first – I resolved never to lie on MWO. Therefore, as a proxy for being accountable to myself, I am 100% accountable here. Just knowing I will have to post my failure motivates me not to fail.
6. Make this the # 1 priority in your life, ahead of reading books, watching movies, working out, etc. All of those things are a better part of my AF life right now but they are secondary to the work I do to be AF.
7. Be as kind to yourself as you see MWO members be to one another in their posts.
8. Forgive yourself - the past can't be changed but the sober you can live your best possible life beginning now. I was told by a wonderful person here on MWO that 'the person you will be NEEDED this addiction'. I can see fleeting glimpses... The failures and struggles are humbling me and as I work through the addiction and careening emotions, I can feel myself softening and becoming more tolerant and compassionate. I'm looking forward to being the New Me --- she is going to be much more fun and loving than the old one!
8B. Forgive yourself even if you don't know why you did this/why it happened to you; even when you don't know whether you played an active (did it) or passive (happened) role. It doesn't matter now because you are not going to do it or let it happen to you again.

I hope something here can help one of you.

NoSugar

P.S. GET ALL OF THE ALCOHOL OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, GARAGE, CAR, OR WHEREVER ELSE YOU HID IT!!

[NoSugar]

Tool box

A message from a Newbie to the Super-newbies

Hello,

I tried to stop drinking on my own the last half of 2012 and had reasonably good success when I was away from home visiting someone or on vacation but slipped back into old habits at home and would drink too much wine most evenings. Around Christmas I thought I had beaten AL but then regressed AGAIN. I found several online support forums and decided that I would try one despite never having participated in (or believed in the success of) anything like this. I visited the “new” section of 3 forums and liked this one best because of the overall tone members used with one another (mostly unconditional love and support) and the words of several of the successfully AF mentors in the Newbies Nest really resonated with me (I need to hear “straight talk”). So I lurked for awhile and finally got up the nerve to join. I also decided I had to make this work because:

1. I have to stop drinking.
2. I can’t do it alone.
3. I won’t voluntarily go to a face-to-face meeting.

So that is the background that made me give MWO a try. The point of this message is that I noticed several new people in the nest over the last few days that seem to want very much to succeed, just like I do.

Maybe the “MWO rules” I made for myself after lurking and learning from the people here who have remained AF for extended periods (Thanks to all of you!) that have helped me so far will help one of you:

1. Read as many threads as you can and post often. It takes a great deal of time and the latter is tricky if that is not your normal personality. It isn’t mine but I’ve forced myself to do it and it is becoming less difficult. I think it is important to post when you are feeling good and strong so that it feels natural for you to do it when you are struggling and need help. Plus, members can help you better if you have given them the chance to know you.
2. Don’t read threads that undermine your goals. For example, I do not read threads that promote moderation because I could feel myself losing my resolve to stay AF when I read them.
3. I promised myself that when tempted to drink, I would first post and give MWO the chance to work its magic. Because this is a global forum, it seems that someone who is willing to help you is always online. (Please give us more than 5 seconds! Be patient and someone will be there).
4. I promised myself I would post about my anxiety when an upcoming event would involve alcohol and I was worried about my ability to resist temptation. The ‘words of wisdom’ I received in responses have armored me.
5. I probably should have put this first – I resolved never to lie on MWO. Therefore, as a proxy for being accountable to myself, I am 100% accountable here. Just knowing I will have to post my failure motivates me not to fail.
6. Make this the # 1 priority in your life, ahead of reading books, watching movies, working out, etc. All of those things are a better part of my AF life right now but they are secondary to the work I do to be AF.
7. Be as kind to yourself as you see MWO members be to one another in their posts.
8. Forgive yourself - the past can't be changed but the sober you can live your best possible life beginning now. I was told by a wonderful person here on MWO that 'the person you will be NEEDED this addiction'. I can see fleeting glimpses... The failures and struggles are humbling me and as I work through the addiction and careening emotions, I can feel myself softening and becoming more tolerant and compassionate. I'm looking forward to being the New Me --- she is going to be much more fun and loving than the old one!
8B. Forgive yourself even if you don't know why you did this/why it happened to you; even when you don't know whether you played an active (did it) or passive (happened) role. It doesn't matter now because you are not going to do it or let it happen to you again.

I hope something here can help one of you.

NoSugar

P.S. GET ALL OF THE ALCOHOL OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, GARAGE, CAR, OR WHEREVER ELSE YOU HID IT!!

[Oneredshoe]

Tool box

100% commitment was essential for my quit.

Byrdlady....thank you so much for my hat, it is BEAUTIFUL. I am sorry that it has taken me a while to post this, I needed time to gather and put my thoughts into words.
Feel the fear and do it anyway with 100% commitment. Nothing to lose and so much to gain. This was mantra at the beginning of my journey and still is, for my journey is far from over.
I accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic, an abuser of alcohol, a person who has an issue with alcohol, a person who self medicated by way of alcohol. None of these titles or descriptions bother me for they do not define who I am. It was a choice I made.
There is no such thing as 1 drink, or 1 night of drinking. No BARGAINING, NO ALCOHOL PERIOD. I no longer drink, I don't drink....period.
I took a long hard look at all of the past mistakes I made, as well as all of the consequences I had suffered as a direct result of my choice to drink. This was extremely uncomfortable and hurt me deeply. I took responsibility for every mistake and ownership of every consequence.
I forgave myself, taking great care and caution not to condone my past actions, but allowing myself to leave my past where it belongs, in the past, so that I may move forward into my present life.
I learned that I was a people pleasing care giver to a fault. I conditioned people in my life by allowing them to take full advantage of my inability to say NO, spreading myself too thin and unable to concentrate on my own well-being. This had to stop, and was met with great resistance by some. Poor planning on their part no longer constitutes an emergency for me, freeing me from taking responsibility for their actions or lack of. This is not to say that I have turned into some cold hearted witch, I simply make my priorities a priority.
I no longer avoid nor do I allow anyone to diminish my negative feelings or emotions. Nor do I dwell upon them either, I embrace them for what they are and what has caused them, this has been important for me, it has helped me to move forward in my own personal healing and recovery journey.
I know that my journey is far from over. I know I will face future challenges. This time around I have and will continue to guard my sobriety with all of my might, no matter what the cost, 100% commitment, because living my life by not living my life...is no way to live!
A big hug and much love to all of you for all of your support, words of wisdom and guidance.


Oneredshoe

[Oneredshoe]

Tool box

100% commitment was essential for my quit.

Byrdlady....thank you so much for my hat, it is BEAUTIFUL. I am sorry that it has taken me a while to post this, I needed time to gather and put my thoughts into words.
Feel the fear and do it anyway with 100% commitment. Nothing to lose and so much to gain. This was mantra at the beginning of my journey and still is, for my journey is far from over.
I accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic, an abuser of alcohol, a person who has an issue with alcohol, a person who self medicated by way of alcohol. None of these titles or descriptions bother me for they do not define who I am. It was a choice I made.
There is no such thing as 1 drink, or 1 night of drinking. No BARGAINING, NO ALCOHOL PERIOD. I no longer drink, I don't drink....period.
I took a long hard look at all of the past mistakes I made, as well as all of the consequences I had suffered as a direct result of my choice to drink. This was extremely uncomfortable and hurt me deeply. I took responsibility for every mistake and ownership of every consequence.
I forgave myself, taking great care and caution not to condone my past actions, but allowing myself to leave my past where it belongs, in the past, so that I may move forward into my present life.
I learned that I was a people pleasing care giver to a fault. I conditioned people in my life by allowing them to take full advantage of my inability to say NO, spreading myself too thin and unable to concentrate on my own well-being. This had to stop, and was met with great resistance by some. Poor planning on their part no longer constitutes an emergency for me, freeing me from taking responsibility for their actions or lack of. This is not to say that I have turned into some cold hearted witch, I simply make my priorities a priority.
I no longer avoid nor do I allow anyone to diminish my negative feelings or emotions. Nor do I dwell upon them either, I embrace them for what they are and what has caused them, this has been important for me, it has helped me to move forward in my own personal healing and recovery journey.
I know that my journey is far from over. I know I will face future challenges. This time around I have and will continue to guard my sobriety with all of my might, no matter what the cost, 100% commitment, because living my life by not living my life...is no way to live!
A big hug and much love to all of you for all of your support, words of wisdom and guidance.


Oneredshoe