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    Hey there friends...one of our flock leaders in the nest asked if I would re-post something here that I wrote this last week, so here it is.
    --------------------------------------------------------

    It's been incredibly, terribly lonely, and the shame and guilt has me filled with self-loathing... I've been operating on this assumption that I probably will die soon, and I'm only in my mid 40's. I had pretty much given up... as long as death is probably around the corner anyway.. I imagined myself in that casket and my 15 and 17 year old daughters the ones consumed with grief. But without a mom to console them...So I woke up yesterday and decided I owed it to my children to try one more time. So here I am.

    Good Monday, All -- that paragraph above was my first post to this site, 30 days ago. There have been many times when I wanted to go back and recall what I had written, because all I remembered was that I cried a lot while I was typing. But I knew it would be painful, so I've been waiting for this day to go back and compare my life a month ago to my life this morning. And it's WONDERFUL, and new, and filled with tons of HOPE, which I thought was gone forever.

    I'm not the best cheerleader here by a long-shot, but I just wanted to share that to encourage any new folks...and maybe others who've been around and slipped...that it IS totally possible to quit. It's harder than hell but you can do it.

    Whenever I think about AL, I remind myself that while the cravings still pop up, the physical need is GONE. The craving is real, but it's coming from some part of our primitive brains and will shut up once we remind it who's in charge (and eat!). After 7 days your body doesn't need it anymore. So what would I get if I allowed myself "just 1 drink?"

    A pleasant, light buzz? No. There's been a lot posted here about how our tolerance will remain high for years, even, so "just 1" won't make me feel any pleasant physical sensations other than suddenly craving a lot more. My tolerance is the same as the day I quit.

    A treat to reward myself? There's no such think as an AL "treat" for me. I can't have "just 1", ever. For me, it will always be an all-you-can-eat AL buffet versus a treat.

    Relaxation and good sleep? I sweat all night, woke up multiple times because my heart was pounding/racing, and was tired all the time.


    How about a fine wine for that amazing sensory experience? NO. That's what I used to tell myself, but it's a fat lie. No alcoholic drink can beat a bowl of ice cream, ever.

    What I WOULD get is an addiction back. I'd be up to a big liter of gin every day within 5 days, I'm sure of it. It nearly destroyed my life and if I hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would be dead within a year or two, and I know it's the same for lots of you in the nest.

    Other things I'd get are guilt, shame and self-loathing every morning. Lying to everyone around me. Worried at work that it's still on my breath. Going home at noon for a lunch made of cocktails to stop the shakes, then going back to work with it ACTUALLY on my breath (I know some of my colleagues had to have smelled it...I can't believe I was never busted). Oh yeah, worrying about being busted. Panicking every time I saw a police officer. Not remembering what I said to my daughters the night before. Not remembering promises I made and breaking them. Not remembering kissing my kids goodnight and telling them I love them. My youngest telling me my breath stinks. Missing my kids' events because I shouldn't drive. Missing parent-teacher conferences because I was too drunk to drive. Getting into fights with my husband and not remembering them. Spending at least $80 a week on gin. Spending $40 a week on nice wine to drink so my husband wouldn't suspect I was actually chugging the hard liqour. Pretending to have the stomach flue when I was incredibly hung over. Remembering its recycling day and racing home to take it outside before my husband saw what was in there. And the big one...hating myself and wishing for death, because I had accepted it was coming soon and just wanted to get it over with. That was just 30 days ago.

    Whew. There's a lot more, but those were the biggies. I wanted to share that, because I know most of you could have written that same paragraph. During the times I was tempted this past month, I would read lists like that from other Nesters and be reminded about the place I came from versus the place I'm at today, and the place I am guaranteed to go back to with "just 1". For the rest of my life, the ONLY thing I will EVER get from "just 1" is being ripped back into a life of a living hell.

    That is my truth, but it's not the end of my story. Now I have hope, contentment, and while I'm still working on the whole inner peace thing and forgiving myself, I'm a work in progress versus a lost cause. I plan to be around, now, for my children's college graduations, weddings, and maybe even live to meet some grandchildren.

    All of that is what I want and need, and I don't ever want to lose again the hope that I'll someday have that. This place has been a blessing for me in huge ways !

    Elliesmom
    Elliesmom

    -------------------------------

    For supplement dosage/schedule go to:
    http://www.mywayout.org/supps/update.pdf

    Comment


      Tool box

      Hey there friends...one of our flock leaders in the nest asked if I would re-post something here that I wrote this last week, so here it is.
      --------------------------------------------------------

      It's been incredibly, terribly lonely, and the shame and guilt has me filled with self-loathing... I've been operating on this assumption that I probably will die soon, and I'm only in my mid 40's. I had pretty much given up... as long as death is probably around the corner anyway.. I imagined myself in that casket and my 15 and 17 year old daughters the ones consumed with grief. But without a mom to console them...So I woke up yesterday and decided I owed it to my children to try one more time. So here I am.

      Good Monday, All -- that paragraph above was my first post to this site, 30 days ago. There have been many times when I wanted to go back and recall what I had written, because all I remembered was that I cried a lot while I was typing. But I knew it would be painful, so I've been waiting for this day to go back and compare my life a month ago to my life this morning. And it's WONDERFUL, and new, and filled with tons of HOPE, which I thought was gone forever.

      I'm not the best cheerleader here by a long-shot, but I just wanted to share that to encourage any new folks...and maybe others who've been around and slipped...that it IS totally possible to quit. It's harder than hell but you can do it.

      Whenever I think about AL, I remind myself that while the cravings still pop up, the physical need is GONE. The craving is real, but it's coming from some part of our primitive brains and will shut up once we remind it who's in charge (and eat!). After 7 days your body doesn't need it anymore. So what would I get if I allowed myself "just 1 drink?"

      A pleasant, light buzz? No. There's been a lot posted here about how our tolerance will remain high for years, even, so "just 1" won't make me feel any pleasant physical sensations other than suddenly craving a lot more. My tolerance is the same as the day I quit.

      A treat to reward myself? There's no such think as an AL "treat" for me. I can't have "just 1", ever. For me, it will always be an all-you-can-eat AL buffet versus a treat.

      Relaxation and good sleep? I sweat all night, woke up multiple times because my heart was pounding/racing, and was tired all the time.


      How about a fine wine for that amazing sensory experience? NO. That's what I used to tell myself, but it's a fat lie. No alcoholic drink can beat a bowl of ice cream, ever.

      What I WOULD get is an addiction back. I'd be up to a big liter of gin every day within 5 days, I'm sure of it. It nearly destroyed my life and if I hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would be dead within a year or two, and I know it's the same for lots of you in the nest.

      Other things I'd get are guilt, shame and self-loathing every morning. Lying to everyone around me. Worried at work that it's still on my breath. Going home at noon for a lunch made of cocktails to stop the shakes, then going back to work with it ACTUALLY on my breath (I know some of my colleagues had to have smelled it...I can't believe I was never busted). Oh yeah, worrying about being busted. Panicking every time I saw a police officer. Not remembering what I said to my daughters the night before. Not remembering promises I made and breaking them. Not remembering kissing my kids goodnight and telling them I love them. My youngest telling me my breath stinks. Missing my kids' events because I shouldn't drive. Missing parent-teacher conferences because I was too drunk to drive. Getting into fights with my husband and not remembering them. Spending at least $80 a week on gin. Spending $40 a week on nice wine to drink so my husband wouldn't suspect I was actually chugging the hard liqour. Pretending to have the stomach flue when I was incredibly hung over. Remembering its recycling day and racing home to take it outside before my husband saw what was in there. And the big one...hating myself and wishing for death, because I had accepted it was coming soon and just wanted to get it over with. That was just 30 days ago.

      Whew. There's a lot more, but those were the biggies. I wanted to share that, because I know most of you could have written that same paragraph. During the times I was tempted this past month, I would read lists like that from other Nesters and be reminded about the place I came from versus the place I'm at today, and the place I am guaranteed to go back to with "just 1". For the rest of my life, the ONLY thing I will EVER get from "just 1" is being ripped back into a life of a living hell.

      That is my truth, but it's not the end of my story. Now I have hope, contentment, and while I'm still working on the whole inner peace thing and forgiving myself, I'm a work in progress versus a lost cause. I plan to be around, now, for my children's college graduations, weddings, and maybe even live to meet some grandchildren.

      All of that is what I want and need, and I don't ever want to lose again the hope that I'll someday have that. This place has been a blessing for me in huge ways !

      Elliesmom
      Elliesmom

      -------------------------------

      For supplement dosage/schedule go to:
      http://www.mywayout.org/supps/update.pdf

      Comment


        Tool box

        This is amazing!!! Wow - so incredible helpful and encouraging!!!
        Thankyou for this
        NoSugar;1469281 wrote: Hello,

        I tried to stop drinking on my own the last half of 2012 and had reasonably good success when I was away from home visiting someone or on vacation but slipped back into old habits at home and would drink too much wine most evenings. Around Christmas I thought I had beaten AL but then regressed AGAIN. I found several online support forums and decided that I would try one despite never having participated in (or believed in the success of) anything like this. I visited the ?new? section of 3 forums and liked this one best because of the overall tone members used with one another (mostly unconditional love and support) and the words of several of the successfully AF mentors in the Newbies Nest really resonated with me (I need to hear ?straight talk?). So I lurked for awhile and finally got up the nerve to join. I also decided I had to make this work because:

        1. I have to stop drinking.
        2. I can?t do it alone.
        3. I won?t voluntarily go to a face-to-face meeting.

        So that is the background that made me give MWO a try. The point of this message is that I noticed several new people in the nest over the last few days that seem to want very much to succeed, just like I do.

        Maybe the ?MWO rules? I made for myself after lurking and learning from the people here who have remained AF for extended periods (Thanks to all of you!) that have helped me so far will help one of you:

        1. Read as many threads as you can and post often. It takes a great deal of time and the latter is tricky if that is not your normal personality. It isn?t mine but I?ve forced myself to do it and it is becoming less difficult. I think it is important to post when you are feeling good and strong so that it feels natural for you to do it when you are struggling and need help. Plus, members can help you better if you have given them the chance to know you.
        2. Don?t read threads that undermine your goals. For example, I do not read threads that promote moderation because I could feel myself losing my resolve to stay AF when I read them.
        3. I promised myself that when tempted to drink, I would first post and give MWO the chance to work its magic. Because this is a global forum, it seems that someone who is willing to help you is always online. (Please give us more than 5 seconds! Be patient and someone will be there).
        4. I promised myself I would post about my anxiety when an upcoming event would involve alcohol and I was worried about my ability to resist temptation. The ?words of wisdom? I received in responses have armored me.
        5. I probably should have put this first ? I resolved never to lie on MWO. Therefore, as a proxy for being accountable to myself, I am 100% accountable here. Just knowing I will have to post my failure motivates me not to fail.
        6. Make this the # 1 priority in your life, ahead of reading books, watching movies, working out, etc. All of those things are a better part of my AF life right now but they are secondary to the work I do to be AF.
        7. Be as kind to yourself as you see MWO members be to one another in their posts.
        8. Forgive yourself - the past can't be changed but the sober you can live your best possible life beginning now. I was told by a wonderful person here on MWO that 'the person you will be NEEDED this addiction'. I can see fleeting glimpses... The failures and struggles are humbling me and as I work through the addiction and careening emotions, I can feel myself softening and becoming more tolerant and compassionate. I'm looking forward to being the New Me --- she is going to be much more fun and loving than the old one!
        8B. Forgive yourself even if you don't know why you did this/why it happened to you; even when you don't know whether you played an active (did it) or passive (happened) role. It doesn't matter now because you are not going to do it or let it happen to you again.

        I hope something here can help one of you.

        NoSugar

        P.S. GET ALL OF THE ALCOHOL OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, GARAGE, CAR, OR WHEREVER ELSE YOU HID IT!!

        Comment


          Tool box

          This is amazing!!! Wow - so incredible helpful and encouraging!!!
          Thankyou for this
          NoSugar;1469281 wrote: Hello,

          I tried to stop drinking on my own the last half of 2012 and had reasonably good success when I was away from home visiting someone or on vacation but slipped back into old habits at home and would drink too much wine most evenings. Around Christmas I thought I had beaten AL but then regressed AGAIN. I found several online support forums and decided that I would try one despite never having participated in (or believed in the success of) anything like this. I visited the ?new? section of 3 forums and liked this one best because of the overall tone members used with one another (mostly unconditional love and support) and the words of several of the successfully AF mentors in the Newbies Nest really resonated with me (I need to hear ?straight talk?). So I lurked for awhile and finally got up the nerve to join. I also decided I had to make this work because:

          1. I have to stop drinking.
          2. I can?t do it alone.
          3. I won?t voluntarily go to a face-to-face meeting.

          So that is the background that made me give MWO a try. The point of this message is that I noticed several new people in the nest over the last few days that seem to want very much to succeed, just like I do.

          Maybe the ?MWO rules? I made for myself after lurking and learning from the people here who have remained AF for extended periods (Thanks to all of you!) that have helped me so far will help one of you:

          1. Read as many threads as you can and post often. It takes a great deal of time and the latter is tricky if that is not your normal personality. It isn?t mine but I?ve forced myself to do it and it is becoming less difficult. I think it is important to post when you are feeling good and strong so that it feels natural for you to do it when you are struggling and need help. Plus, members can help you better if you have given them the chance to know you.
          2. Don?t read threads that undermine your goals. For example, I do not read threads that promote moderation because I could feel myself losing my resolve to stay AF when I read them.
          3. I promised myself that when tempted to drink, I would first post and give MWO the chance to work its magic. Because this is a global forum, it seems that someone who is willing to help you is always online. (Please give us more than 5 seconds! Be patient and someone will be there).
          4. I promised myself I would post about my anxiety when an upcoming event would involve alcohol and I was worried about my ability to resist temptation. The ?words of wisdom? I received in responses have armored me.
          5. I probably should have put this first ? I resolved never to lie on MWO. Therefore, as a proxy for being accountable to myself, I am 100% accountable here. Just knowing I will have to post my failure motivates me not to fail.
          6. Make this the # 1 priority in your life, ahead of reading books, watching movies, working out, etc. All of those things are a better part of my AF life right now but they are secondary to the work I do to be AF.
          7. Be as kind to yourself as you see MWO members be to one another in their posts.
          8. Forgive yourself - the past can't be changed but the sober you can live your best possible life beginning now. I was told by a wonderful person here on MWO that 'the person you will be NEEDED this addiction'. I can see fleeting glimpses... The failures and struggles are humbling me and as I work through the addiction and careening emotions, I can feel myself softening and becoming more tolerant and compassionate. I'm looking forward to being the New Me --- she is going to be much more fun and loving than the old one!
          8B. Forgive yourself even if you don't know why you did this/why it happened to you; even when you don't know whether you played an active (did it) or passive (happened) role. It doesn't matter now because you are not going to do it or let it happen to you again.

          I hope something here can help one of you.

          NoSugar

          P.S. GET ALL OF THE ALCOHOL OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, GARAGE, CAR, OR WHEREVER ELSE YOU HID IT!!

          Comment


            Tool box

            The Power of Posting and taking part in an online forum, from our wise and successful Kuya:

            There are a few currently struggling to STAY on this AF path, and I am always looking for common reasons to explain differences between us all. After all, it is the same drug in the same human bodies so what other factors may be at play?

            I was reminded by seeing a member, who has been absent for a while, of advice we commonly give new folk when they arrive. We say read, read, read and post, post, post. Now that makes logical sense but I wondered if it actually affected successful outcomes. Obviously we can't know if people are reading a lot and not posting, but the daily average of posting IS available to us.

            I spent a little time crunching some figures ( I am known for being a statistics bore! ) and guess what? It is true!

            MEMBERS WHO MAKE AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN ONE POST A DAY STRUGGLE TO GET OR STAY ALCOHOL FREE.

            You can find your own stat on your profile page.

            Now there are members using outside support and therefore won't need to post as often BUT when I looked at people I know who only use MWO for support and have quit relatively easily their daily average is high, from our stoical Patrick at 2.73 posts per day through to our effervescent Hippyman at 33.

            This is not a talisman of success, there are a couple of high rate posters who struggle, but there were no posters under one that were successful at getting sober.

            I believe that formulating your thoughts into written word changes your brain's perception. Reading and then posting, initially for ourselves and later to help others, repetitively reinforces the message 'I DON'T DRINK'.

            I expect some will respond that they aren't able to post more often due to worldly responsibilities ......... But the stark truth for many is if this disease progresses you won't HAVE any worldly responsibilities.

            I have been posting on MWO nearly six months and sober nearly five, I average 5 posts a day. Instead of vegging in front of the TV with a half litre of vodka I come on here. It is saving my life, I have made friends here. I also hope I am helping to save lives.

            So I repeat the advice, read, read, read and POST,POST,POST.
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
            Tool Box
            Newbie's Nest

            Comment


              Tool box

              The Power of Posting and taking part in an online forum, from our wise and successful Kuya:

              There are a few currently struggling to STAY on this AF path, and I am always looking for common reasons to explain differences between us all. After all, it is the same drug in the same human bodies so what other factors may be at play?

              I was reminded by seeing a member, who has been absent for a while, of advice we commonly give new folk when they arrive. We say read, read, read and post, post, post. Now that makes logical sense but I wondered if it actually affected successful outcomes. Obviously we can't know if people are reading a lot and not posting, but the daily average of posting IS available to us.

              I spent a little time crunching some figures ( I am known for being a statistics bore! ) and guess what? It is true!

              MEMBERS WHO MAKE AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN ONE POST A DAY STRUGGLE TO GET OR STAY ALCOHOL FREE.

              You can find your own stat on your profile page.

              Now there are members using outside support and therefore won't need to post as often BUT when I looked at people I know who only use MWO for support and have quit relatively easily their daily average is high, from our stoical Patrick at 2.73 posts per day through to our effervescent Hippyman at 33.

              This is not a talisman of success, there are a couple of high rate posters who struggle, but there were no posters under one that were successful at getting sober.

              I believe that formulating your thoughts into written word changes your brain's perception. Reading and then posting, initially for ourselves and later to help others, repetitively reinforces the message 'I DON'T DRINK'.

              I expect some will respond that they aren't able to post more often due to worldly responsibilities ......... But the stark truth for many is if this disease progresses you won't HAVE any worldly responsibilities.

              I have been posting on MWO nearly six months and sober nearly five, I average 5 posts a day. Instead of vegging in front of the TV with a half litre of vodka I come on here. It is saving my life, I have made friends here. I also hope I am helping to save lives.

              So I repeat the advice, read, read, read and POST,POST,POST.
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
              Tool Box
              Newbie's Nest

              Comment


                Tool box

                Alcohol problem! Who me? Nooo, or have I? Hmm.

                :new:


                Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

                I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

                At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

                I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I cant say no and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

                Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
                The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

                The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

                So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.

                Comment


                  Tool box

                  Alcohol problem! Who me? Nooo, or have I? Hmm.

                  :new:


                  Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

                  I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

                  At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

                  I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I cant say no and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

                  Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
                  The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

                  The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

                  So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.

                  Comment


                    Tool box

                    Hi LittleLottie and :welcome:!

                    If you head on over to the Newbies Nest (link in my signature), you'll find people at all stages of getting past this addiction. Read back a bit and get to know us. I think you'll find it is an amazing place of support. You've already found the Toolbox so you have a good running start.

                    Hope to see you in the nest.

                    Take care, NoSugar

                    Comment


                      Tool box

                      Hi LittleLottie and :welcome:!

                      If you head on over to the Newbies Nest (link in my signature), you'll find people at all stages of getting past this addiction. Read back a bit and get to know us. I think you'll find it is an amazing place of support. You've already found the Toolbox so you have a good running start.

                      Hope to see you in the nest.

                      Take care, NoSugar

                      Comment


                        Tool box

                        LittleLottie;1479337 wrote: :new:


                        Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

                        I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

                        At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

                        I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I cant say no and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

                        Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
                        The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

                        The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

                        So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.
                        Hi LL:

                        That was a wonderful post! :goodjob:

                        I am really glad you're here and I look forward to sharing this journey with you. :h

                        :welcome:

                        :l
                        On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                        *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                        Comment


                          Tool box

                          LittleLottie;1479337 wrote: :new:


                          Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

                          I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

                          At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

                          I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I cant say no and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

                          Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
                          The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

                          The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

                          So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.
                          Hi LL:

                          That was a wonderful post! :goodjob:

                          I am really glad you're here and I look forward to sharing this journey with you. :h

                          :welcome:

                          :l
                          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                          Comment


                            Tool box

                            Bump

                            Sober Visitor;1341551 wrote: JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
                            RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
                            RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I?ll just be a social drinker.
                            RESPONSE: I?m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I?ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That?s not me.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
                            RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
                            RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

                            JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
                            RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
                            RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
                            RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
                            RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
                            RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don?t care about all the people I?ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

                            JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
                            RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

                            Comment


                              Tool box

                              Bump

                              Sober Visitor;1341551 wrote: JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
                              RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
                              RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I?ll just be a social drinker.
                              RESPONSE: I?m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I?ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That?s not me.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
                              RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
                              RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

                              JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
                              RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
                              RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
                              RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
                              RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
                              RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don?t care about all the people I?ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

                              JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
                              RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

                              Comment


                                Tool box

                                LittleLottie;1479337 wrote: :new:


                                Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

                                I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

                                At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

                                I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I cant say no and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

                                Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
                                The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

                                The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

                                So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.
                                Hi LittleLottie,

                                I'm new here too and I'm very glad I came across your post. I feel like my situation is very similar to yours and I've been playing with the idea of quitting drinking for a while now and I feel more and more confident that this is what I need to do.

                                Drinking is meant to be fun, but if the next morning (or next few days) all your left is shame and guilty conscience, is no longer worth it.

                                Im sure you're going to have an amazing sober birthday and inspired by your post and by some good advice I was given here earlier today, I think I will share my plans with my boyfriend as well and start gradually living a new healthier and happier life - just like you said not wasting anymore days.

                                -V

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