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    A Work in Progress;455658 wrote: Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. And, eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.

    Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.

    Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.
    Love this thank you.
    Newbies Nest
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      A Work in Progress;455658 wrote: Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. And, eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.

      Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.

      Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.
      Love this thank you.
      Newbies Nest
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      My accountability thread

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        Omg, I was so excited today! Hard day w my ill dad, stuff stress ... Took the kids for an icy after volleyball practice- Ameristop... I was nervous pulling in, bc I would havr bought beer, wine, whatever... Did not even look in that direction!! I felt so great. 4 day AF .. Feels great. Antabuse helps too. But I did drink on it and not a lot happened- rash.. Oh well I am excited

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          Omg, I was so excited today! Hard day w my ill dad, stuff stress ... Took the kids for an icy after volleyball practice- Ameristop... I was nervous pulling in, bc I would havr bought beer, wine, whatever... Did not even look in that direction!! I felt so great. 4 day AF .. Feels great. Antabuse helps too. But I did drink on it and not a lot happened- rash.. Oh well I am excited

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            Wow some good reading I'm feeling it thanks people

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              Wow some good reading I'm feeling it thanks people

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                This is an amazing and helpful thread. Knowing WE are not alone makes all the difference! Day 5 for me (although I don't really count it until the next morning) considering I drank at night. Anyway; I am so glad I found this forum. The people here seem to be open, honest and non judgmental the trifecta of good sobriety!

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                  This is an amazing and helpful thread. Knowing WE are not alone makes all the difference! Day 5 for me (although I don't really count it until the next morning) considering I drank at night. Anyway; I am so glad I found this forum. The people here seem to be open, honest and non judgmental the trifecta of good sobriety!

                  Comment


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                    I was asked to re-post this. It's how I felt after being 30 days AF for the first time in pretty much 40 years.


                    First I want to thank you all for being there. When you share your successes and your struggles you help me. I have learned so much here in MWO. I'll share a little of it now.

                    1. I learned that moderation isn't an option for me. One drink is seriously a joke in my mind. I can't remember the last time one drink did it for me. So now I live by the motto "if one, why not none?"

                    2. I found out that if I say it out loud (or write it here) it becomes more real. So I started by writing my deepest fears here and by telling my family and friends once I'd decided to quit. It keeps me accountable. They are mostly all supportive. It may have been difficult at times for them because it seems to make them think about their own drinking, but that's ok, maybe they need to. I already influenced my sister to quit, who knows how many others will be inspired.

                    3. I realized that being AF doesn't make me boring. In fact I am just as much fun. The drunks I used to drink with are sometimes boring to me though!

                    4. I now plan ahead for events that might trigger AL to sneak into my life. I looked up recipes for AF drinks. I connected with the non drinkers in my life, and hung on for dear life!

                    5. I read that we often substitute one addiction for another. Our bodies crave alcohol for a while when we quit, and sugar is a fast high. Once the physical urges wear off it is psychological. Now I'm working on my diet.

                    6. I understand that there is a direct co-relation between posting and staying AF. So you're not going to get rid of me too quickly. I want to help others the way I was helped. I want to share my experiences. I will stick around and I will contribute.

                    7. I like being a non drinker. It is so much simpler than all the negotiating I did when I was trying to moderate. I like waking up happy. I like going to bed consciously instead of passing out. I like being able to drive any time because I don't have to plan ahead in case I am drinking. I like that I had the strength to do this.

                    8. I know that 30 days AF is just the start. I know I can't let down my guard, I must stay vigilant. AL is a sneaky bastard who wants to convince me I need him. I will stay strong. I will stay AF. I'm in the process of writing down all the reasons I like being AF. I will refer to it when I am feeling vulnerable.

                    My typing hands are tired so I am going to post this now. I thank you all for your continued support. For you that are new, or are returning, keep posting, keep talking, keep reading.
                    Newbies Nest
                    Toolbox
                    My accountability thread

                    Comment


                      Tool box

                      I was asked to re-post this. It's how I felt after being 30 days AF for the first time in pretty much 40 years.


                      First I want to thank you all for being there. When you share your successes and your struggles you help me. I have learned so much here in MWO. I'll share a little of it now.

                      1. I learned that moderation isn't an option for me. One drink is seriously a joke in my mind. I can't remember the last time one drink did it for me. So now I live by the motto "if one, why not none?"

                      2. I found out that if I say it out loud (or write it here) it becomes more real. So I started by writing my deepest fears here and by telling my family and friends once I'd decided to quit. It keeps me accountable. They are mostly all supportive. It may have been difficult at times for them because it seems to make them think about their own drinking, but that's ok, maybe they need to. I already influenced my sister to quit, who knows how many others will be inspired.

                      3. I realized that being AF doesn't make me boring. In fact I am just as much fun. The drunks I used to drink with are sometimes boring to me though!

                      4. I now plan ahead for events that might trigger AL to sneak into my life. I looked up recipes for AF drinks. I connected with the non drinkers in my life, and hung on for dear life!

                      5. I read that we often substitute one addiction for another. Our bodies crave alcohol for a while when we quit, and sugar is a fast high. Once the physical urges wear off it is psychological. Now I'm working on my diet.

                      6. I understand that there is a direct co-relation between posting and staying AF. So you're not going to get rid of me too quickly. I want to help others the way I was helped. I want to share my experiences. I will stick around and I will contribute.

                      7. I like being a non drinker. It is so much simpler than all the negotiating I did when I was trying to moderate. I like waking up happy. I like going to bed consciously instead of passing out. I like being able to drive any time because I don't have to plan ahead in case I am drinking. I like that I had the strength to do this.

                      8. I know that 30 days AF is just the start. I know I can't let down my guard, I must stay vigilant. AL is a sneaky bastard who wants to convince me I need him. I will stay strong. I will stay AF. I'm in the process of writing down all the reasons I like being AF. I will refer to it when I am feeling vulnerable.

                      My typing hands are tired so I am going to post this now. I thank you all for your continued support. For you that are new, or are returning, keep posting, keep talking, keep reading.
                      Newbies Nest
                      Toolbox
                      My accountability thread

                      Comment


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                        Repost

                        NoSugar;1528632 wrote: Hi, Nesters

                        Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time learning about the neurobiology of addiction (I know, NERD!). Understanding the science better makes it easier for me to accept what happened.

                        Anyway, I'll spare you all that but there was one phrase used that for me, really captures the agony that most of us are in at the point we seek out an online forum such as this:

                        Addiction is chasing the relief that maintains the distress.

                        The other take-home lesson was that although we can repair our brains in many ways from the damage done by alchohol, the circuits we formed remain intact, much like those for riding a bike. Therefore, the potential for relapse (quickly back to a high level of intake) is permanent. And, has been discussed many times on MWO, relapses become sequentially worse.

                        So, stick close, get this DONE and don't go back!

                        :h NS
                        Addiction isn't muscle memory, like riding a bike, but just like those motor circuits can stay intact and ready to go (even while abstaining from bike riding ), the emotional and cognitive circuits involved in addiction are just waiting to be reactivated.


                        Related links:

                        The Neurobiology of Addiction Part 1 - YouTube. There are 5 parts
                        Close to Home - Science: Interview with George Koob
                        Close to Home - Science: Interview with Alan Leshner
                        Close to Home - Science: Interview with Steven Hyman
                        YouTube
                        Dr. Nora Volkow | The Diane Rehm Show from WAMU and NPR
                        https://www.commonwealthclub.org/node/63901

                        Comment


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                          Repost

                          NoSugar;1528632 wrote: Hi, Nesters

                          Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time learning about the neurobiology of addiction (I know, NERD!). Understanding the science better makes it easier for me to accept what happened.

                          Anyway, I'll spare you all that but there was one phrase used that for me, really captures the agony that most of us are in at the point we seek out an online forum such as this:

                          Addiction is chasing the relief that maintains the distress.

                          The other take-home lesson was that although we can repair our brains in many ways from the damage done by alchohol, the circuits we formed remain intact, much like those for riding a bike. Therefore, the potential for relapse (quickly back to a high level of intake) is permanent. And, has been discussed many times on MWO, relapses become sequentially worse.

                          So, stick close, get this DONE and don't go back!

                          :h NS
                          Addiction isn't muscle memory, like riding a bike, but just like those motor circuits can stay intact and ready to go (even while abstaining from bike riding ), the emotional and cognitive circuits involved in addiction are just waiting to be reactivated.


                          Related links:

                          The Neurobiology of Addiction Part 1 - YouTube. There are 5 parts
                          Close to Home - Science: Interview with George Koob
                          Close to Home - Science: Interview with Alan Leshner
                          Close to Home - Science: Interview with Steven Hyman
                          YouTube
                          Dr. Nora Volkow | The Diane Rehm Show from WAMU and NPR
                          https://www.commonwealthclub.org/node/63901

                          Comment


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                            retteacher;455731 wrote: What a great thread! I'm going to read it again & again.

                            One thing I've been doing w/the "out of nowhere" AL thought (the type that have thrown me into a liquor store):
                            Instead of pushing it out of my mind & thinking of something else, I've been looking at it. I've been asking it questions:
                            -Why I am thinking about drinking?
                            -What's going on in my mind & body?
                            -What non-AL thing do I need to do to remove this thought?
                            -What would be the negative consequences of getting a bottle? (i.e. drinking & feeling awful in mind, body, & spirit...having to get rid of the bottle...hiding the drinking...etc.)

                            Sometimes just turning my mind away from drinking eliminates the thought, but other times I really need to examine why it's happening.

                            I hope this makes sense.

                            Mary
                            THIS ^^^^^^ Love this! So often, when I begin to think about drinking, I don't examine what is going on, I just obsess until I drink.

                            But this idea, it's going in my toolbox and my journal.

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                              retteacher;455731 wrote: What a great thread! I'm going to read it again & again.

                              One thing I've been doing w/the "out of nowhere" AL thought (the type that have thrown me into a liquor store):
                              Instead of pushing it out of my mind & thinking of something else, I've been looking at it. I've been asking it questions:
                              -Why I am thinking about drinking?
                              -What's going on in my mind & body?
                              -What non-AL thing do I need to do to remove this thought?
                              -What would be the negative consequences of getting a bottle? (i.e. drinking & feeling awful in mind, body, & spirit...having to get rid of the bottle...hiding the drinking...etc.)

                              Sometimes just turning my mind away from drinking eliminates the thought, but other times I really need to examine why it's happening.

                              I hope this makes sense.

                              Mary
                              THIS ^^^^^^ Love this! So often, when I begin to think about drinking, I don't examine what is going on, I just obsess until I drink.

                              But this idea, it's going in my toolbox and my journal.

                              Comment


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                                My little piece of advise, for what its worth, is that for those of you that think it might be okay to drink and that you can easily get back on track......don't fool yourself! I haven't read one post from anyone on here that didn't have a harder time starting over, once they made the decision to drink.

                                Miley
                                __________________
                                Miley

                                "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
                                Miley

                                "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
                                [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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