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[kathylady54]

Tool box

:thanks::thanks:

A Work in Progress;455658 wrote: Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. And, eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.

Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.

Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.

[kathylady54]

Tool box

:thanks::thanks:

A Work in Progress;455658 wrote: Urge surfing is an important and very helpful way to deal with cravings. Every urge, impulse, or craving has a natural progression. It starts at zero, and then suddenly we become aware that the wish, desire, craving, or impulse has arisen in our minds. It can continue to get stronger, once it has arisen. And, eventually, it will fade away (so long as we do not give in to it). This is ALWAYS true for any and every craving or impulse.

Sometimes we have the (very false) impression that cravings are SO strong and powerful, that they will never go away and we MUST give in to them. One way to deal with that is to make a conscious effort to step back (mentally) and observe the craving, as if from a slight distance. Ask yourself: what am I thinking, what are the words running through my mind? Where am I feeling this craving in my body? Observe how the sensations and thoughts become uncomfortable; observe what the messages are that you might be telling yourself; and observe how you will soon become distracted, and find that you are thinking about something else... because the craving has faded away.

Once you have done that several times, you will have a different perspective on cravings, and you will be much better able to resist them. And you can always use this method, any time you find yourself struggling, or getting into a mental argument about whether or not you should or could have a drink.

[kathylady54]

Tool box

Thanks so very much for the tip to deal with cravings. The surfing the wave of the craving analogy made a lot of sense to me, and that imagery will surely help me as I plan to ride it out successfully and stay AF another day, one day at a time. Without tools like this is it soooo easy to be deceived by this cunning disease. Peace and strength to all as we fight AL.

[kathylady54]

Tool box

Thanks so very much for the tip to deal with cravings. The surfing the wave of the craving analogy made a lot of sense to me, and that imagery will surely help me as I plan to ride it out successfully and stay AF another day, one day at a time. Without tools like this is it soooo easy to be deceived by this cunning disease. Peace and strength to all as we fight AL.

[kathylady54]

Tool box

:thanks:

Byrdlady;1354256 wrote: Thought I'd post this I just wrote over in the Newbie's Nest...

We are so glad you found us! I was a closet drinker myself....you should find the thread about hiding and drinking...dang it, wish I knew how to post a link...but it is sad and funny...mostly sad. AL is the most cunning opponent I know. It makes you think BLACK when it's really WHITE...makes you think you are social, when you are being an ass....makes you feel better as it kills you. Yes, AL has my undying respect. So the only way I know to stop drinking is to stop drinking.

Ok. Well HOW the HELL do you do that? Like any good battle, this takes a plan of attack. This is a little embarrassing, but if you can read back on the Newbies Nest maybe a month, and then SKIP the major squabble we had for about 2 weeks....you will pick up some wonderful tips for success. Get to know us. You will find people from all over the world here, and in various stages of quitting. When I first got here I was SCARED. How could I possibly go one day without AL, let alone give it up for good? Old timers would fly in and say how wonderful it was, but they didn't tell me how to do it. I will throw out a couple of things, and the other nesters will also tell you how they are doing it.

Get your story down. Have in place what you are going to tell people when you are offered a drink. This is key! If you hesitate..the well-meaning host will push it on you and derail your plan. My personal excuse is that "Al is like battery acid to my insides". As any Type A personality will tell you...tummy issues are always a problem...so this works for me. But get yours down and use it....I'm driving...I'm on a health kick...I made a bet with friends...whatever!

Get all the AL out of your house. ALL of it. No, you do NOT need a safety net....that is planning for failure, but you are planning for success. Surround yourself with things you love to eat...I mean LOVE! Do not worry about calories or fat right now, we have bigger fish to fry at the moment!! Keep yourself hydrated! If you like movies...get a load of them to watch. Or books. Whatever you really like to do/eat/play....get it and have it on hand. The first 3 days are the hardest. Your head will be filled with voices telling you to cave in. Don't you do it. Do NOT cave in no matter what and no matter who!!! You are not giving up and old friend...you are getting rid of an enemy who is playing for all the winnings!! No, one glass of ______ is NOT going to do you any good! (this is us you are talking to....we know all the tricks your mind is trying to play!). Distraction, distraction, distraction! When you have those thoughts, immediately change your thinking to something else....name all your cousins...recite the Lord's Prayer....sind the Happy Birthday song...anything to get your mind out of that LOOP! When a thought comes in to your head, say NO, HELL NO! You will not win this time!!!

Do not get hungry! This is a major trigger! Remember it's only about 4 hours you really need to get thru...at least it was that way for me (5-9). If you made it thru the last 15 minutes, you can get thru the next ones. You do not NEED a drink. The drink needs you....do not feed it! Get on here and read, read, read!!! If all else fails...just go to bed. Yep...get Day 1 behind you. By day 3, all the AL will be out of your system and you will be operating on full power!! It is a wonderful feeling to finally regain yourself. You can do it!!! Grab a wing and lets' get going!!! Byrdie

[kathylady54]

Tool box

:thanks:

Byrdlady;1354256 wrote: Thought I'd post this I just wrote over in the Newbie's Nest...

We are so glad you found us! I was a closet drinker myself....you should find the thread about hiding and drinking...dang it, wish I knew how to post a link...but it is sad and funny...mostly sad. AL is the most cunning opponent I know. It makes you think BLACK when it's really WHITE...makes you think you are social, when you are being an ass....makes you feel better as it kills you. Yes, AL has my undying respect. So the only way I know to stop drinking is to stop drinking.

Ok. Well HOW the HELL do you do that? Like any good battle, this takes a plan of attack. This is a little embarrassing, but if you can read back on the Newbies Nest maybe a month, and then SKIP the major squabble we had for about 2 weeks....you will pick up some wonderful tips for success. Get to know us. You will find people from all over the world here, and in various stages of quitting. When I first got here I was SCARED. How could I possibly go one day without AL, let alone give it up for good? Old timers would fly in and say how wonderful it was, but they didn't tell me how to do it. I will throw out a couple of things, and the other nesters will also tell you how they are doing it.

Get your story down. Have in place what you are going to tell people when you are offered a drink. This is key! If you hesitate..the well-meaning host will push it on you and derail your plan. My personal excuse is that "Al is like battery acid to my insides". As any Type A personality will tell you...tummy issues are always a problem...so this works for me. But get yours down and use it....I'm driving...I'm on a health kick...I made a bet with friends...whatever!

Get all the AL out of your house. ALL of it. No, you do NOT need a safety net....that is planning for failure, but you are planning for success. Surround yourself with things you love to eat...I mean LOVE! Do not worry about calories or fat right now, we have bigger fish to fry at the moment!! Keep yourself hydrated! If you like movies...get a load of them to watch. Or books. Whatever you really like to do/eat/play....get it and have it on hand. The first 3 days are the hardest. Your head will be filled with voices telling you to cave in. Don't you do it. Do NOT cave in no matter what and no matter who!!! You are not giving up and old friend...you are getting rid of an enemy who is playing for all the winnings!! No, one glass of ______ is NOT going to do you any good! (this is us you are talking to....we know all the tricks your mind is trying to play!). Distraction, distraction, distraction! When you have those thoughts, immediately change your thinking to something else....name all your cousins...recite the Lord's Prayer....sind the Happy Birthday song...anything to get your mind out of that LOOP! When a thought comes in to your head, say NO, HELL NO! You will not win this time!!!

Do not get hungry! This is a major trigger! Remember it's only about 4 hours you really need to get thru...at least it was that way for me (5-9). If you made it thru the last 15 minutes, you can get thru the next ones. You do not NEED a drink. The drink needs you....do not feed it! Get on here and read, read, read!!! If all else fails...just go to bed. Yep...get Day 1 behind you. By day 3, all the AL will be out of your system and you will be operating on full power!! It is a wonderful feeling to finally regain yourself. You can do it!!! Grab a wing and lets' get going!!! Byrdie

[kathylady54]

Tool box

All your words state the case eloquently, thoroughly, and exactly. The cunning of AL and its desire to destroy our relationships, bodies, and very souls, ironically by our own hand, is not to be underestimated. Our strength to fight AL comes from humble awareness and shared wisdom that accumulates for all of us each day we are AF. Peace to all who seek to be free of AL.

[kathylady54]

Tool box

All your words state the case eloquently, thoroughly, and exactly. The cunning of AL and its desire to destroy our relationships, bodies, and very souls, ironically by our own hand, is not to be underestimated. Our strength to fight AL comes from humble awareness and shared wisdom that accumulates for all of us each day we are AF. Peace to all who seek to be free of AL.

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

Thank you so much Kathy... the work is worth it....if it stayed so hard no body could do it! B

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

Thank you so much Kathy... the work is worth it....if it stayed so hard no body could do it! B

[kathylady54]

Tool box

johnnyh;904147 wrote: 1. Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy, drunken drinking and doing without just one small drink.

2. Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude that you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong with you before it was too late.

3. EXPECT as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time (and it may be a long one), you will recuringly experience.
(a) The conscious, nagging craving for a drink.
(b) The sudden, all but compelling impluse just to take a drink.
(c) The craving, not for a drinks as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave you.

4. Remember that the times you don't want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to take one when you do want it.

5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live the day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

6. Don't for a split second allow yourself to think: 'Isn't it a pity or a mean injustice that I can't take a drink like so-called normal people'.

7. Don't allow yourself to either think about or talk about any real or imgagined pleasure you once did get from drinking

8. Don't permit yourself to think a drink or two would make some bad situation better, or at least easier to live with. Substitute the thought : 'One drink will make it worse - One drink will mean a drunk.'

9. Minimise your situation. Others have greater problems, how joyful such people would be if their problem could be solved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully how lucky you are to have so simple and small a problem.

10. Cultivate and woo enjoyment of sobriety.
a) how good it is to be free of shame and guilt
b) how good it is to be free of the consequences of a drunk just ended or of a coming drunk you've been never able to prevent before.
c) how good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, and of their mingled pity and contempt
d) How good it is to be free of fear.

11. Catalogue and RE-Catalogue the positive enjoyments of sobriety, such as:
a) The simple ability to sleep and eat properly; and wake up glad you're alive; glad you were sober yesterday; and glad you have the privilige of staying sober today
b) the ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all your faculties.

12. Cultivate a helpful association of ideas:
a) Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and fear you have ever known.
b) Associate a drink as bein the only thing that can destroy you newfound happiness, and take from you your self-respect and peace of mind.

13. Cultivate Grattitude:
a) Grattitude that so much can be yours for so small a price;
b) Grattitude that you can trade just one drink for all the happiness sobriety gives you.
c) Grattitude that MWO (AA) exists, and you found out about it in time.
d) Grattitude that you are an alcoholic, you are not a bad or wicked person, but you have been in the grip of a complusion.
e) Grattitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss the drink that you're doing without.

14. Seek out ways to help other alcoholics - and remember the first way to help others is to stay sober yourself.

15. And don't forget, when the heart is heavy and resistance is low, and the mind is troubled and confused, there is much comfort in a true and understanding friend standing by. You have that friend in MWO (AA).

:thanks:

[kathylady54]

Tool box

johnnyh;904147 wrote: 1. Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy, drunken drinking and doing without just one small drink.

2. Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude that you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong with you before it was too late.

3. EXPECT as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time (and it may be a long one), you will recuringly experience.
(a) The conscious, nagging craving for a drink.
(b) The sudden, all but compelling impluse just to take a drink.
(c) The craving, not for a drinks as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave you.

4. Remember that the times you don't want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to take one when you do want it.

5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live the day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

6. Don't for a split second allow yourself to think: 'Isn't it a pity or a mean injustice that I can't take a drink like so-called normal people'.

7. Don't allow yourself to either think about or talk about any real or imgagined pleasure you once did get from drinking

8. Don't permit yourself to think a drink or two would make some bad situation better, or at least easier to live with. Substitute the thought : 'One drink will make it worse - One drink will mean a drunk.'

9. Minimise your situation. Others have greater problems, how joyful such people would be if their problem could be solved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully how lucky you are to have so simple and small a problem.

10. Cultivate and woo enjoyment of sobriety.
a) how good it is to be free of shame and guilt
b) how good it is to be free of the consequences of a drunk just ended or of a coming drunk you've been never able to prevent before.
c) how good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, and of their mingled pity and contempt
d) How good it is to be free of fear.

11. Catalogue and RE-Catalogue the positive enjoyments of sobriety, such as:
a) The simple ability to sleep and eat properly; and wake up glad you're alive; glad you were sober yesterday; and glad you have the privilige of staying sober today
b) the ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all your faculties.

12. Cultivate a helpful association of ideas:
a) Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and fear you have ever known.
b) Associate a drink as bein the only thing that can destroy you newfound happiness, and take from you your self-respect and peace of mind.

13. Cultivate Grattitude:
a) Grattitude that so much can be yours for so small a price;
b) Grattitude that you can trade just one drink for all the happiness sobriety gives you.
c) Grattitude that MWO (AA) exists, and you found out about it in time.
d) Grattitude that you are an alcoholic, you are not a bad or wicked person, but you have been in the grip of a complusion.
e) Grattitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss the drink that you're doing without.

14. Seek out ways to help other alcoholics - and remember the first way to help others is to stay sober yourself.

15. And don't forget, when the heart is heavy and resistance is low, and the mind is troubled and confused, there is much comfort in a true and understanding friend standing by. You have that friend in MWO (AA).

:thanks:

[kathylady54]

Tool box

johnnyh, You have given us all an inspirational, joyful, and oh-so wise way to look at our lives and our proper AF path. Thanks for explaining the beautiful outlook we can have, the outlook which AL is so cunningly determined to deny us. Thanks for such a helpful post.
Peace to all who seek to be free from AL.

[kathylady54]

Tool box

johnnyh, You have given us all an inspirational, joyful, and oh-so wise way to look at our lives and our proper AF path. Thanks for explaining the beautiful outlook we can have, the outlook which AL is so cunningly determined to deny us. Thanks for such a helpful post.
Peace to all who seek to be free from AL.

[Sober Visitor]

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PAWS

Check out the following link for a really good article on Post Acute Withdrawal.

PAWS ? Digital Dharma