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[Rahulthesweet]

Tool box

Reposting this from request from other ... hope this helps ...
-----------------------------------------------
SOBER MOUNTAIN PEAK !

Over the weekend I climbed a mountain (Swizz 2014 Photos by rahulthesweet | Photobucket) and wrote this :

I was there in the pit
all I can see was darkness,
no sign light, no hope, only misery ...
i was a rotton egg
loser, a liar,
full of guilt, shame, regret ...

then i made an effort,
i asked for help, I surrendered
to stoodup,
tried to walk ...

the first step ... then the next ..
soon started climbing ... towards the goal
towards Sober mountain peak !
climb will be tough ... very tough ..

I slip, fall, trip, get hurt ...
but I dont lose hope,
keep walking up
climbing up ..

darkness became light
light opened my eyes
to the beauty around
where was i all this time
y didn't I see ...

as I climb I see more beauty
making my resolve stronger,
a promise i gave to myself
which I know I will keep
coz I really want to be there ...
on this beautiful place ..
the place called Sober mountain Peak !

this place is so good,
there is nothing better nor can be
this place is on top of a mountain
where there is blue sky all around
fresh air,
where only truly willing can reach
where there is PEACE
on SOBER Mountain Peak !

As I reach there i stood still
see the world around me,
the life behind me ...
i wonder what I did
Why i did ...
But I am so blag I am finally here ...
On the Sober Mountain Peak !

I am only few among lucky ones
come came from the pit below
Am so glad I came here saw this sight,
this great state of mind ...
on the sober mountain peak !

coz I have seen the world below in darkness,
where I will never go ...
coz this place is great ...
where I will always be ..
This place my new home ..
No matter where ever I go ..
I will always be here ..
on the Sober mountain Peak !!
--------------------------------------

Hello friends and new comers !! I am in Switzerland and over the week end climbed up mountains to one of the most amazing hikes I ever did ! it went all the way up to 3000 + meters. It was tough, hard, and many time I thought I could not do it ... I felt afraid, and even felt might fall (sound familiar ?) ... but this place is really beautiful.

You can correlate this to our on going struggle with sobriety. But I promise all new comers that once you come to this state of mind being sober for good amount of time you will see the world around much beautiful then there pictures which I clicked by myself :

Swizz 2014 Photos by rahulthesweet | Photobucket

I hope these inspire you ... because sobriety is even MORE BEAUTIFUL

This LIFE is a beautiful gift and is NOT WORTH DRINKING AWAY

This pictures are also gifts to all who have been and continue to be my support ..

Take care ...
____________

[Rahulthesweet]

Tool box

Reposting this from request from other ... hope this helps ...
-----------------------------------------------
SOBER MOUNTAIN PEAK !

Over the weekend I climbed a mountain (Swizz 2014 Photos by rahulthesweet | Photobucket) and wrote this :

I was there in the pit
all I can see was darkness,
no sign light, no hope, only misery ...
i was a rotton egg
loser, a liar,
full of guilt, shame, regret ...

then i made an effort,
i asked for help, I surrendered
to stoodup,
tried to walk ...

the first step ... then the next ..
soon started climbing ... towards the goal
towards Sober mountain peak !
climb will be tough ... very tough ..

I slip, fall, trip, get hurt ...
but I dont lose hope,
keep walking up
climbing up ..

darkness became light
light opened my eyes
to the beauty around
where was i all this time
y didn't I see ...

as I climb I see more beauty
making my resolve stronger,
a promise i gave to myself
which I know I will keep
coz I really want to be there ...
on this beautiful place ..
the place called Sober mountain Peak !

this place is so good,
there is nothing better nor can be
this place is on top of a mountain
where there is blue sky all around
fresh air,
where only truly willing can reach
where there is PEACE
on SOBER Mountain Peak !

As I reach there i stood still
see the world around me,
the life behind me ...
i wonder what I did
Why i did ...
But I am so blag I am finally here ...
On the Sober Mountain Peak !

I am only few among lucky ones
come came from the pit below
Am so glad I came here saw this sight,
this great state of mind ...
on the sober mountain peak !

coz I have seen the world below in darkness,
where I will never go ...
coz this place is great ...
where I will always be ..
This place my new home ..
No matter where ever I go ..
I will always be here ..
on the Sober mountain Peak !!
--------------------------------------

Hello friends and new comers !! I am in Switzerland and over the week end climbed up mountains to one of the most amazing hikes I ever did ! it went all the way up to 3000 + meters. It was tough, hard, and many time I thought I could not do it ... I felt afraid, and even felt might fall (sound familiar ?) ... but this place is really beautiful.

You can correlate this to our on going struggle with sobriety. But I promise all new comers that once you come to this state of mind being sober for good amount of time you will see the world around much beautiful then there pictures which I clicked by myself :

Swizz 2014 Photos by rahulthesweet | Photobucket

I hope these inspire you ... because sobriety is even MORE BEAUTIFUL

This LIFE is a beautiful gift and is NOT WORTH DRINKING AWAY

This pictures are also gifts to all who have been and continue to be my support ..

Take care ...
____________

[See the Light]

Tool box

My 30 day quit

I wrote this earlier in the roll call and it was suggested I also add it here (which also makes it more important for me to commit to).

Thank you for those great words Byrdie and everyone for your support. I?m happy I made it 30 days, and intend to keep that going (this is already by far the longest I?ve ever gone since AL worked its poisonous ways into my life many moons ago). I realize 30 days is a small victory in a long war, but it is a war worth fighting. I will honestly say though, as many people here already know, initially trying to give up AL when you have had it as such a big part of your life pretty much sucks. It has been some of the hardest weeks in a row for me in my life, including too many panic attacks, too many sleepless nights and too many health scares (most of the things that happened I didn?t post here as I was basically freaked out). It is very hard work. It is a conscious decision you have to make all the time, every time. It just doesn?t happen because you just "decide" you won't drink anymore?I?ve tried that before unsuccessfully too many times. It happens when you change your life so that you won?t. I?ve made a very strong effort to go nowhere near any place that has AL, and the times that I did were too close of call for me. For this period and for a while, I don?t want any temptation even close to me. I know there is no point where you can let your guard down, or old ways can sneak back in. I know the good parts of quitting way outweighs the bad, so reminding myself of this when those urges keep recurring is part of what keeps me driven. Onward and upward, be inspired and inspire others?.Thanks

[See the Light]

Tool box

My 30 day quit

I wrote this earlier in the roll call and it was suggested I also add it here (which also makes it more important for me to commit to).

Thank you for those great words Byrdie and everyone for your support. I?m happy I made it 30 days, and intend to keep that going (this is already by far the longest I?ve ever gone since AL worked its poisonous ways into my life many moons ago). I realize 30 days is a small victory in a long war, but it is a war worth fighting. I will honestly say though, as many people here already know, initially trying to give up AL when you have had it as such a big part of your life pretty much sucks. It has been some of the hardest weeks in a row for me in my life, including too many panic attacks, too many sleepless nights and too many health scares (most of the things that happened I didn?t post here as I was basically freaked out). It is very hard work. It is a conscious decision you have to make all the time, every time. It just doesn?t happen because you just "decide" you won't drink anymore?I?ve tried that before unsuccessfully too many times. It happens when you change your life so that you won?t. I?ve made a very strong effort to go nowhere near any place that has AL, and the times that I did were too close of call for me. For this period and for a while, I don?t want any temptation even close to me. I know there is no point where you can let your guard down, or old ways can sneak back in. I know the good parts of quitting way outweighs the bad, so reminding myself of this when those urges keep recurring is part of what keeps me driven. Onward and upward, be inspired and inspire others?.Thanks

[LavenderBlue]

Tool box

Can I commit to AF if I'm not sure I've hit my bottom?

We had a question in the Nest the other night about how you can commit to a quit when you're not convinced you've really hit your bottom. I posted some thoughts I had about my own decision to quit without an obvious bottom to point to and a couple folks recommended I add it here. I really hope does help folks because "Well, I'm not that bad, really" is part of what kept me drinking for years past when I wish I'd noticed I had a problem.

In a lot of ways, you could say I had a "high bottom." When I was drinking the most a few years back I did end up with pancreatitis...but it was a "mild" case, didn't need a hospital stay. I never lost a job over my drinking, never got a DUI, I don't have any one relationship I can point to that was destroyed by my drinking. I don't have kids so I've never had doubts about if I'm being the best mom I can be.

For me, though, seeing the direction I was headed towards is part of what got my attention. I knew I was drinking more than was strictly healthy, and I knew it wasn't...it wasn't something I was doing because it was fun anymore. I knew that even thinking about taking a month off sounded like something really hard for me...and just the fact that it sounded hard told me something about how much I've been relying on drinking. And I don't like that something controls me like that. And after I did the math on how much I was drinking I had to admit it wasn't some small problem. Comparing what I was actually consuming, in oz, to the recommended amount? Yeah...not good.

I also realized I was completely miserable with my life - some of that is legit depression/anxiety but I realized I've always ignored all the intelligent folks who mention that drinking alcohol, especially in more than the recommended amounts, can and does make both of those worse. I may have been doing a decent job making sure my drinking didn't affect anyone else...but I've been driving myself into this little hole of miserable. I also started getting paranoid that some day I WOULD do something that would make it obvious I should stop drinking....because then I'd have people telling me I should stop drinking! And I wasn't ok with that, at all.

But taken outside of myself...that's some messed up logic. "I'm scared that someone will notice I'm doing something bad to myself, because then the folks who care about me might want me to stop."

There was more thinking than just that, but that's at least some of what came to my mind as I've been thinking. I didn't like where my life was at in a very personal way, regardless of how I appear to others. My bottom sure as hell felt like one, I just kept it very very quiet so no one would ask questions. Waking up in the morning miserable and depressed and convinced I ruined my life on a daily basis...even if I wasn't "acting out" in big ways, the feelings and effect on me were still there. Rearranging my life to make sure I could drink at home may have saved me from DUIs...but it meant I spent all my time at home, alone, drinking. The money I spent, I'll never get back. The way I started questioning myself all the time killed a lot of what should have been fun days. And I was willing to see if not-drinking helped. So far it has helped, very much. So if not-drinking is doing me noticeably more good than drinking was...it wouldn't be hard to quit if I didn't definitely have a problem, yeah? And if I definitely have a problem, it would be pretty arrogant for me to assume I'll be the special snowflake who'll never hit a worse bottom if I continue to drink.

But I'm also weird on perspective, I think. Like, I honestly am not super interested in if I'm more an alcoholic or more an alcohol abuser. I've had people tell me either, based on my extended history. I have an issue, and the issue is with AL, and I need to stop because I am not someone who can casually drink. Arguing with myself over technical definitions of my bottom etc. were loopholes I was using to keep drinking, so I swapped my brain to focus on the problem and the solution instead. [Second edit: I want to make it clear that I'll willing call myself an alcoholic or an alcohol abuser; I don't mean I'm trying to avoid a label. I just mean that for me arguing over the definitions of each was distracting me from doing anything about it.]

I don't mean any of that to make it sound like it's easy for me, either. It's not and it's not going to be. But I still see it as something I need to do. Bottoms are odd things too, though. I know folks who have hit "worse" bottoms than I have who keep drinking. And people with higher ones than me who stopped a lot sooner.

EDIT: Also, sidenote; I literally don't know how much of any of that was things I was thinking myself or things I only admitted once I was already reading/posting here. I was still drinking when I came here, so mostly I just remember being miserable and upset after a very mild argument with a friend, and hating my life as I always did, and wondering how I turned into such a huge screwup...and then reading here and somehow finally seeing that the AL was in the way of everything else. That and the support when I poked my head in. There's a lot of things I'm seeing now in hindsight that "Oh yeah...of course that was also related to my drinking" when at the time I completely was not putting two and two together.

[LavenderBlue]

Tool box

Can I commit to AF if I'm not sure I've hit my bottom?

We had a question in the Nest the other night about how you can commit to a quit when you're not convinced you've really hit your bottom. I posted some thoughts I had about my own decision to quit without an obvious bottom to point to and a couple folks recommended I add it here. I really hope does help folks because "Well, I'm not that bad, really" is part of what kept me drinking for years past when I wish I'd noticed I had a problem.

In a lot of ways, you could say I had a "high bottom." When I was drinking the most a few years back I did end up with pancreatitis...but it was a "mild" case, didn't need a hospital stay. I never lost a job over my drinking, never got a DUI, I don't have any one relationship I can point to that was destroyed by my drinking. I don't have kids so I've never had doubts about if I'm being the best mom I can be.

For me, though, seeing the direction I was headed towards is part of what got my attention. I knew I was drinking more than was strictly healthy, and I knew it wasn't...it wasn't something I was doing because it was fun anymore. I knew that even thinking about taking a month off sounded like something really hard for me...and just the fact that it sounded hard told me something about how much I've been relying on drinking. And I don't like that something controls me like that. And after I did the math on how much I was drinking I had to admit it wasn't some small problem. Comparing what I was actually consuming, in oz, to the recommended amount? Yeah...not good.

I also realized I was completely miserable with my life - some of that is legit depression/anxiety but I realized I've always ignored all the intelligent folks who mention that drinking alcohol, especially in more than the recommended amounts, can and does make both of those worse. I may have been doing a decent job making sure my drinking didn't affect anyone else...but I've been driving myself into this little hole of miserable. I also started getting paranoid that some day I WOULD do something that would make it obvious I should stop drinking....because then I'd have people telling me I should stop drinking! And I wasn't ok with that, at all.

But taken outside of myself...that's some messed up logic. "I'm scared that someone will notice I'm doing something bad to myself, because then the folks who care about me might want me to stop."

There was more thinking than just that, but that's at least some of what came to my mind as I've been thinking. I didn't like where my life was at in a very personal way, regardless of how I appear to others. My bottom sure as hell felt like one, I just kept it very very quiet so no one would ask questions. Waking up in the morning miserable and depressed and convinced I ruined my life on a daily basis...even if I wasn't "acting out" in big ways, the feelings and effect on me were still there. Rearranging my life to make sure I could drink at home may have saved me from DUIs...but it meant I spent all my time at home, alone, drinking. The money I spent, I'll never get back. The way I started questioning myself all the time killed a lot of what should have been fun days. And I was willing to see if not-drinking helped. So far it has helped, very much. So if not-drinking is doing me noticeably more good than drinking was...it wouldn't be hard to quit if I didn't definitely have a problem, yeah? And if I definitely have a problem, it would be pretty arrogant for me to assume I'll be the special snowflake who'll never hit a worse bottom if I continue to drink.

But I'm also weird on perspective, I think. Like, I honestly am not super interested in if I'm more an alcoholic or more an alcohol abuser. I've had people tell me either, based on my extended history. I have an issue, and the issue is with AL, and I need to stop because I am not someone who can casually drink. Arguing with myself over technical definitions of my bottom etc. were loopholes I was using to keep drinking, so I swapped my brain to focus on the problem and the solution instead. [Second edit: I want to make it clear that I'll willing call myself an alcoholic or an alcohol abuser; I don't mean I'm trying to avoid a label. I just mean that for me arguing over the definitions of each was distracting me from doing anything about it.]

I don't mean any of that to make it sound like it's easy for me, either. It's not and it's not going to be. But I still see it as something I need to do. Bottoms are odd things too, though. I know folks who have hit "worse" bottoms than I have who keep drinking. And people with higher ones than me who stopped a lot sooner.

EDIT: Also, sidenote; I literally don't know how much of any of that was things I was thinking myself or things I only admitted once I was already reading/posting here. I was still drinking when I came here, so mostly I just remember being miserable and upset after a very mild argument with a friend, and hating my life as I always did, and wondering how I turned into such a huge screwup...and then reading here and somehow finally seeing that the AL was in the way of everything else. That and the support when I poked my head in. There's a lot of things I'm seeing now in hindsight that "Oh yeah...of course that was also related to my drinking" when at the time I completely was not putting two and two together.

[abcowboy]

Tool box

I posted this on another thread and was asked if I could post it here as well. Before I started really drinking heavy, I used to write a bit of cowboy poetry, it was easier for me to get my thoughts and emotions out in ryhme. I penned this when it started my road to recovery, and when my AV gets to whispering in my ear, I read it again just to remind myself the road he wants to lead me down....


When I was just a young lad
I had my first taste of beer
I opened the door to my demon
I thought I had nothing to fear

For the first few years, he was my friend
Of that I had no doubt,
I told myself if he got too strong
I?d be able to kick him out

As the years went by, we got close
He was there through thick and thin
Always with his helping hand
Beer, whiskey, or lemon gin

I came to rely on him more and more
To get me through the day
He never ever judged me
Just wanted things all his way

Eventually my life just fell apart
And I didn?t understand why
How could I beat this demon
Or should I even try

But it was time to kick him out
A simple thing to do
Unless you know this demon
And the hell he can put you through

He?ll take your life, your mind, your soul
And all the people you hold dear
He doesn?t care how they feel
As long as he keeps you near

But the day will come when you realize
He is no friend at all
He sat there on your shoulder
And watched you take your fall

He didn?t try to help you
Like your loved ones tried to do
He knew you?d come crawling back
And help to get you through

And now that he?s evicted
With the help of family and friends
I have one more thing to do
Try to make amends

So now I have a new friend
He who sits on High
And when I need to talk to Him
I just look up to the sky!

[abcowboy]

Tool box

I posted this on another thread and was asked if I could post it here as well. Before I started really drinking heavy, I used to write a bit of cowboy poetry, it was easier for me to get my thoughts and emotions out in ryhme. I penned this when it started my road to recovery, and when my AV gets to whispering in my ear, I read it again just to remind myself the road he wants to lead me down....


When I was just a young lad
I had my first taste of beer
I opened the door to my demon
I thought I had nothing to fear

For the first few years, he was my friend
Of that I had no doubt,
I told myself if he got too strong
I?d be able to kick him out

As the years went by, we got close
He was there through thick and thin
Always with his helping hand
Beer, whiskey, or lemon gin

I came to rely on him more and more
To get me through the day
He never ever judged me
Just wanted things all his way

Eventually my life just fell apart
And I didn?t understand why
How could I beat this demon
Or should I even try

But it was time to kick him out
A simple thing to do
Unless you know this demon
And the hell he can put you through

He?ll take your life, your mind, your soul
And all the people you hold dear
He doesn?t care how they feel
As long as he keeps you near

But the day will come when you realize
He is no friend at all
He sat there on your shoulder
And watched you take your fall

He didn?t try to help you
Like your loved ones tried to do
He knew you?d come crawling back
And help to get you through

And now that he?s evicted
With the help of family and friends
I have one more thing to do
Try to make amends

So now I have a new friend
He who sits on High
And when I need to talk to Him
I just look up to the sky!

[KENSHO]

Tool box

Per Byrdie's request, posting this here after 30 days AF...

THOUGHTS ON 30 DAYS

My thoughts on going 30 days without alcohol are simple:
1. It CAN be done
2. It SHOULD be done

To elaborate...

1. Thirty days without AL is totally doable. The first week is definitely the hardest. Everyone is different, but for me there were fewer than 5 really hard craving episodes during the entire 30 days, and they lasted less than 3 hours each. That's 15 hours, out of 720 hours (or 2% of the time I spent making an improvement in my life). I posted here - got really mad, distracted myself, surfed the urge, or tried to satiate the craving with food and/or other beverages. A craving, no matter how strong, will always go away, and remembering that helped also.

2. 30 days seems to be just the right amount of time to gain a clear perspective on what alcohol did to me, and how I feel without it. Now, it is very clear that my drinking habits were leading to a dead end road of sluggishness, dysfunction, remorse - and possibly to serious illness, and other consequences. I know that life was not for me, and that a new life without it is critical to my growth and happiness. I sort of knew I didn't want to keep feeling like I was, but now I have a really good understanding of what AL was REALLY doing to me.

ONE OTHER NOTE: My life hasn't magically turn into rainbows and sunbeams at 30 days AF. But it has become possible to start making decisions to better my life, without the distorted cloud of alcohol haze. I feel like I have a new ticket to life - and I get to decide what to do with it. I won't figure everything out tomorrow, but I have new goals - and what's absolutely spectacular - I feel I have the strength to tackle them, instead of running from them. Still, per golden advice here - I'm taking it a day at a time.

SO, if you have found yourself here - knowing that you desperately want to (and really need to) stop drinking, get brave. Jump in to a commitment of 30 days - NO MATTER WHAT, and you will arrive out on the other side with not only a changed perspective, but new friends, lots of ammunition to throw at the beast, and a new life ahead of you. I am eternally grateful for the people at this site who have poked and prodded and encouraged me to get through the discomfort in order to begin to really live life.

[KENSHO]

Tool box

Per Byrdie's request, posting this here after 30 days AF...

THOUGHTS ON 30 DAYS

My thoughts on going 30 days without alcohol are simple:
1. It CAN be done
2. It SHOULD be done

To elaborate...

1. Thirty days without AL is totally doable. The first week is definitely the hardest. Everyone is different, but for me there were fewer than 5 really hard craving episodes during the entire 30 days, and they lasted less than 3 hours each. That's 15 hours, out of 720 hours (or 2% of the time I spent making an improvement in my life). I posted here - got really mad, distracted myself, surfed the urge, or tried to satiate the craving with food and/or other beverages. A craving, no matter how strong, will always go away, and remembering that helped also.

2. 30 days seems to be just the right amount of time to gain a clear perspective on what alcohol did to me, and how I feel without it. Now, it is very clear that my drinking habits were leading to a dead end road of sluggishness, dysfunction, remorse - and possibly to serious illness, and other consequences. I know that life was not for me, and that a new life without it is critical to my growth and happiness. I sort of knew I didn't want to keep feeling like I was, but now I have a really good understanding of what AL was REALLY doing to me.

ONE OTHER NOTE: My life hasn't magically turn into rainbows and sunbeams at 30 days AF. But it has become possible to start making decisions to better my life, without the distorted cloud of alcohol haze. I feel like I have a new ticket to life - and I get to decide what to do with it. I won't figure everything out tomorrow, but I have new goals - and what's absolutely spectacular - I feel I have the strength to tackle them, instead of running from them. Still, per golden advice here - I'm taking it a day at a time.

SO, if you have found yourself here - knowing that you desperately want to (and really need to) stop drinking, get brave. Jump in to a commitment of 30 days - NO MATTER WHAT, and you will arrive out on the other side with not only a changed perspective, but new friends, lots of ammunition to throw at the beast, and a new life ahead of you. I am eternally grateful for the people at this site who have poked and prodded and encouraged me to get through the discomfort in order to begin to really live life.

[okoren1]

Tool box

30 Days!!!!!

Per Byrdie's gracious suggestion, below are a few thoughts on the best 30 days I have had in, Oh, I don't know, maybe 40 years? Sooo, here goes:

Background: Been a steady daily drinker all my adult life, starting when I was in my twenties, with a beer or two after work each night, progressing up to 3 margaritas, or a little more a night (stiff ones). I was usually moderately drunk or at least highly intoxicated every night. I am now 63 and sold my firm. They say this is a progressive disease and I know it is true; I am a functional alcoholic. But it finally got to me and I was ready to stop. I was tired of my nose being red, my eyes bloodshot in the mornings, foggy feeling, not sleeping well, etc. More recently, I had thought of suicide very frequently, and if not that, then certainly not looking forward to much longer life here.

The Quit: I have technically been a member of MWO for several years- but not active. I had read the book, tried the various medications including Kudzu, with only limited success; I was still drinking. I had tried AA on a couple of occasions but didn't really like it. So I decided to simply quit- cold turkey. That day (August 9, 2014), I got super active on MWO (getting some great planning advice in a hurry). Cleared all AL from my home, immediately started taking sups and Topa (25mg), got some AF drink substitutes ready; my favorite, soda and lime juice and a little chocolate (AL use had created a sweets craving, and while don’t normally eat chocolate, figured that I would do this temporarily). And, this wonderful group on MWO has become my lifeline to becoming AF (spent hours reading and posting). The MWO’rs became and are my “guardian angels” (see below).

Why This Time Worked: I had tried to quit a number of times over the years, without any measurable success. What made this time different? Prayer and the Graces received from prayer. I don’t kid myself for even a single moment that I suddenly became a changed person, and this quit happened by my own power and will. Yes, that day I did make an irrevocable commitment to never touch AL again, and I took a number of proactive steps to fulfill that commitment. But the single thing I did differently 30 days ago was to pray to Our Lord that if it was His will that I become sober, that He would provide me the graces to give me the strength to do things needed. I also asked the Blessed Virgin Mary for Her intercessory prayers on my behalf as well. I simply couldn't do this alone. So, I have been very blessed. I am sober (and feeling better every day) and my daily interior, spiritual life is tremendous. The phrase in The Lord's Prayer "...give us this day and our daily bread", now has a new, tangible, real quality about it. I pray every day, and I definitely know it when my prayers have been answered. Thanks!

[okoren1]

Tool box

30 Days!!!!!

Per Byrdie's gracious suggestion, below are a few thoughts on the best 30 days I have had in, Oh, I don't know, maybe 40 years? Sooo, here goes:

Background: Been a steady daily drinker all my adult life, starting when I was in my twenties, with a beer or two after work each night, progressing up to 3 margaritas, or a little more a night (stiff ones). I was usually moderately drunk or at least highly intoxicated every night. I am now 63 and sold my firm. They say this is a progressive disease and I know it is true; I am a functional alcoholic. But it finally got to me and I was ready to stop. I was tired of my nose being red, my eyes bloodshot in the mornings, foggy feeling, not sleeping well, etc. More recently, I had thought of suicide very frequently, and if not that, then certainly not looking forward to much longer life here.

The Quit: I have technically been a member of MWO for several years- but not active. I had read the book, tried the various medications including Kudzu, with only limited success; I was still drinking. I had tried AA on a couple of occasions but didn't really like it. So I decided to simply quit- cold turkey. That day (August 9, 2014), I got super active on MWO (getting some great planning advice in a hurry). Cleared all AL from my home, immediately started taking sups and Topa (25mg), got some AF drink substitutes ready; my favorite, soda and lime juice and a little chocolate (AL use had created a sweets craving, and while don’t normally eat chocolate, figured that I would do this temporarily). And, this wonderful group on MWO has become my lifeline to becoming AF (spent hours reading and posting). The MWO’rs became and are my “guardian angels” (see below).

Why This Time Worked: I had tried to quit a number of times over the years, without any measurable success. What made this time different? Prayer and the Graces received from prayer. I don’t kid myself for even a single moment that I suddenly became a changed person, and this quit happened by my own power and will. Yes, that day I did make an irrevocable commitment to never touch AL again, and I took a number of proactive steps to fulfill that commitment. But the single thing I did differently 30 days ago was to pray to Our Lord that if it was His will that I become sober, that He would provide me the graces to give me the strength to do things needed. I also asked the Blessed Virgin Mary for Her intercessory prayers on my behalf as well. I simply couldn't do this alone. So, I have been very blessed. I am sober (and feeling better every day) and my daily interior, spiritual life is tremendous. The phrase in The Lord's Prayer "...give us this day and our daily bread", now has a new, tangible, real quality about it. I pray every day, and I definitely know it when my prayers have been answered. Thanks!

[LavenderBlue]

Tool box

Another 30 day speech to add, on the request of Byrd. It really is doable and so very worth it.

I think what helped me the most to get to 30 days was staying close here and forcing myself into the idea that AL is not allowed. That second part is the harder one, but it's been so important. I have to keep it at a simple (yet difficult!) "NO," to stop myself from arguing or trying to find an excuse.

"But I really want to!" "NO."
"But I can't sleep!" "NO!"
"But I'm sure I can handle just one!" "NO!"
"But it's just been so stressful today!" "NO!"

I haven't regretted a single day sober, so I also hold on to that when it's been hard.

Staying close here also meant I had to drop a lot of the unhealthy pride that was holding me back. I'm an intelligent person and I can rationalize anything. I had to force myself to accept that I was *not* being rational about my use of AL and...even worse (small joke)...admit that other people might know more than I do about it!

I don't mean I'm following advice without thinking; but especially in my first couple weeks I made myself approach advice with "They're probably right; and if I try it and it doesn't work I've lost nothing." It's kind of you guys to compliment me on that...honestly I'm horrendously stubborn about most things so it really was something I had to work on doing, definitely not just something easy for me! But the other side of that was that it meant I was opening up to you lovely people and allowing myself to feel your good thoughts and support for me. I suppose shutting my mouth and listening for once in my life is worth that. :h

The days I was tapering and the first few days I was AF I think I lived on here. I made sure to post to get my feelings out and also to stay accountable. I also was reading threads that were 4 years old or older, just to keep up the AF focus. I knew I wouldn't drink if I was on here reading so this was my safe place. The first two weeks I was downloading books onto my Kindle too; anything to keep my focus.

Distraction has also helped; when I think I absolutely need a drink I've been finding something else to do. Even if it's staying up until 3am playing a video game. And that's been helping me keep in mind that cravings are temporary.

And one final thought about something that helped me; hopefully she doesn't mind being called out here. When I started, I realized Kensho was only a week ahead of me. I know it's important to be responsible for your own quit, but seeing someone just one week ahead of me posting and pushing and encouraging me through has helped so much on the days when "30 days" or "90 days" or "always" seems impossible. (To expand this a little for the toolbox, I'd say a more general thing would be to remember how much we all have in common. Each one of us that commits and meets a goal - that really *can* be you, too. I know I didn't think it was possible until I did it, but here I am. And also more advice to post - other than being good for you, you never know who might be reading along and really finding strength and comfort from reading. I have an easier time saying that about other people than myself, go fig; but it really is true.)

Oh, also sparkling water. That's been a great saving thing for me as well, I think I'm drinking gallons!

[LavenderBlue]

Tool box

Another 30 day speech to add, on the request of Byrd. It really is doable and so very worth it.

I think what helped me the most to get to 30 days was staying close here and forcing myself into the idea that AL is not allowed. That second part is the harder one, but it's been so important. I have to keep it at a simple (yet difficult!) "NO," to stop myself from arguing or trying to find an excuse.

"But I really want to!" "NO."
"But I can't sleep!" "NO!"
"But I'm sure I can handle just one!" "NO!"
"But it's just been so stressful today!" "NO!"

I haven't regretted a single day sober, so I also hold on to that when it's been hard.

Staying close here also meant I had to drop a lot of the unhealthy pride that was holding me back. I'm an intelligent person and I can rationalize anything. I had to force myself to accept that I was *not* being rational about my use of AL and...even worse (small joke)...admit that other people might know more than I do about it!

I don't mean I'm following advice without thinking; but especially in my first couple weeks I made myself approach advice with "They're probably right; and if I try it and it doesn't work I've lost nothing." It's kind of you guys to compliment me on that...honestly I'm horrendously stubborn about most things so it really was something I had to work on doing, definitely not just something easy for me! But the other side of that was that it meant I was opening up to you lovely people and allowing myself to feel your good thoughts and support for me. I suppose shutting my mouth and listening for once in my life is worth that. :h

The days I was tapering and the first few days I was AF I think I lived on here. I made sure to post to get my feelings out and also to stay accountable. I also was reading threads that were 4 years old or older, just to keep up the AF focus. I knew I wouldn't drink if I was on here reading so this was my safe place. The first two weeks I was downloading books onto my Kindle too; anything to keep my focus.

Distraction has also helped; when I think I absolutely need a drink I've been finding something else to do. Even if it's staying up until 3am playing a video game. And that's been helping me keep in mind that cravings are temporary.

And one final thought about something that helped me; hopefully she doesn't mind being called out here. When I started, I realized Kensho was only a week ahead of me. I know it's important to be responsible for your own quit, but seeing someone just one week ahead of me posting and pushing and encouraging me through has helped so much on the days when "30 days" or "90 days" or "always" seems impossible. (To expand this a little for the toolbox, I'd say a more general thing would be to remember how much we all have in common. Each one of us that commits and meets a goal - that really *can* be you, too. I know I didn't think it was possible until I did it, but here I am. And also more advice to post - other than being good for you, you never know who might be reading along and really finding strength and comfort from reading. I have an easier time saying that about other people than myself, go fig; but it really is true.)

Oh, also sparkling water. That's been a great saving thing for me as well, I think I'm drinking gallons!

[Roadside]

Tool box

[QUOTE= M & M's =QUOTE]
Yes, my psychiatrist suggested having sweets to curb cravings because it is possible my body craves simple sugars (which beer and wine readily provide). Apparently it works for some!