Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Tool box

Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Tool box

    PAWS

    Check out the following link for a really good article on Post Acute Withdrawal.

    PAWS ? Digital Dharma
    AF since 3/16/09
    NF since 3/20/07

    Comment


      Tool box

      It is so good to see you posting Sober visitor (alright, damn it everyone, it is the beautiful Sheri), especially here in the toolbox.

      Gratitude thinking over deprivation thinking is one cool driving force.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

      Comment


        Tool box

        It is so good to see you posting Sober visitor (alright, damn it everyone, it is the beautiful Sheri), especially here in the toolbox.

        Gratitude thinking over deprivation thinking is one cool driving force.

        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

        Comment


          Tool box

          This was posted on another thread by Mario. Many of the ideas are included in other posts on this thread, but I like the list. I will be also pasting it in a document on my computer, editing it down to the ideas I'm currently using, adding my personal adaptations to the remaining ideas.

          101 Things to Keep You Clean & Sober
          Use a few of these great tips in helping yourself --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

          1. Don’t underestimate your disease. Every single person does at first.

          2. Take care of yourself spiritually. Be mindful of your connection to your higher power today.

          3. Ignore the dismal relapse rates. You are creating your own success.

          4. Make a zero tolerance policy with yourself concerning relapse. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.

          5. Avoid fundamentalism, even in recovery. Rigid thinking and dogma can undermine your sobriety.

          6. You are creating a life of recovery and you are responsible for ALL OF IT. Yes, others can help you. Their “help” is mere advice. It is up to you to recover.

          7. Don’t confuse enthusiasm for action. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober and then do it.

          8. Listen to what the relapsing addicts keep preaching. Then do the opposite.

          9. Take care of your social network. Reach out to others in a meaningful way.

          10. Figure out a way to help other addicts or alcoholics.

          11. If you attend 12 step meetings, find one to start chairing. Consider H&I meetings (taking meetings into jails and treatment centers).

          12. Use mindfulness and a heightened awareness to overcome ego. Use meditation to overcome self.

          13. Practice forgiveness. Forgive all your past transgressors. Forgive yourself. You must do this to get long term relief from resentment.

          14. Be aware of diminishing returns, and spread out your recovery efforts (i.e., don’t focus on just “spiritual” growth).

          15. Rearrange all the furniture in your house. Anything to get through the night sometimes.

          16. Clean your house from top to bottom. Same as above.

          17. Go for a long walk.

          18. Buy a pet and care for it.

          19. Eat a gourmet meal.

          20. Cook a gourmet meal.

          21. Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.

          22. See a therapist.

          23. Work on a puzzle.

          24. Connect with someone else who is hurting.

          25. Start a project that is bigger than yourself.

          26. Revisit an old hobby.

          27. Teach someone something. (Anything!)

          28. Learn something new each day. (Anything!)

          29. Write in a daily journal.

          30. Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.

          31. Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.

          32. Join a recovery forum online.

          33. Start a free blog over at blogger.com and tell the world about your progress in recovery. Figure out your own tips on staying sober.

          34. Reconnect with your family and spend time with them.

          35. Go back to school.

          36. Learn a new skill or trade.

          37. Sponsor a newcomer.

          38. Make a commitment to chair a meeting each week.

          39. Celebrate the recovery of a friend.

          40. Spend time with your family.

          41. Email the spiritual river guy and tell him your problems.

          42. Celebrate your clean time with a cake.

          43. Write out a gratitude list.

          44. Read through your old journal entries and see how much you’ve changed.

          45. Try a new form of meditation (or make up your own…there is no “wrong” here). Some of the best tips to stay sober come from within.

          46. Write out a to-do list and cross each thing off as you accomplish it.

          47. Always have a big goal in the back of your mind that is challenging for you, but would make your day if you met it.

          48. Practice balance. Challenge your daily habits.

          49. Practice humility. Always be in “learning mode.”

          50. Forgive yourself and move on with your life.

          51. Sit down and write 2 goals out for yourself: one big one and one little one. Keep the paper in your pocket.

          52. Inspire someone else to grow. Challenge them to be a better person in some way. Encourage them through your own success.

          53. Learn to relax. Find your quiet place of rejuvenation and return to it often.

          54. Elevate your consciousness. Watch your own mind and see how it responds to events. Repeat often. Learn.

          55. Find the beauty in life. Appreciate all of it. Be grateful for beauty itself.

          56. Ask yourself with each decision: “Is this the healthiest choice for me right now?”

          57. Quit smoking cigarettes already.

          58. Be grateful for existence.

          59. If you go to the same AA meetings all the time, switch it up and go to a completely new meeting.

          60. Write a poem about how you are overcoming addiction.

          61. Turn off your television and read a book. Better: read recovery literature. Best: write your own recovery literature.

          62. Use overwhelming force to conquer a goal.

          63. Use the Sedona method to release emotions that are holding you back.

          64. Write your bucket list. Then, act.

          65. Figure out your life purpose.

          66. Write out a fourth step and share it with your sponsor.

          67. Take care of yourself physically. Exercise. Take a walk. No excuses.

          68. Keep your priorities straight. Physical abstinence is number one. Simple and effective.

          69. Keep a high price on your serenity. Don’t sacrifice it for just anyone and their whims.

          70. Use a sponsor for stage 2 recovery. Let them guide you through holistic living.

          71. Take care of yourself mentally. Go back to school. Get that degree.

          72. Find your own path. It is your responsibility to do so.

          73. Practice humility and stay teachable. Always be learning.

          74. Go to long term treatment and be done with it. Best decision I ever made.

          75. Don’t pin your hopes on a short stay in rehab. It takes more than that.

          76. Call your sponsor.

          77. Get a sponsor.

          78. Use a zero tolerance policy when it comes to self-pity. Never allow it for yourself ever again. Ever. It is poison.

          79. Read recovery literature.

          80. Join a recovery forum.

          81. Use outpatient treatment if that works for you. Take it as seriously as possible and connect with the others in your group.

          82. Meditate.

          83. Pray.

          84. Go out for coffee with a friend in recovery.

          85. Find your passion.

          86. Work out.

          87. Join a church.

          88. Volunteer.

          89. Take care of yourself emotionally. Don’t get knocked too far off your square.

          90. Stay vigilant against potential relapse. The disease can find many routes (gambling, prescription drugs, sex, etc.).

          91. Go to a meeting.

          92. Don’t pin your hopes on long term treatment. It takes a lifetime of learning for alcoholics and recovering drug addicts to recover.

          93. Use long term strategic thinking. Care for yourself, network with others, and pursue conscious growth.

          94. Don’t ask “why me?” Instead, ask “how can I create the life I really want now?”

          95. Call a friend in recovery.

          96. Sit down and write out a gratitude list.

          97. Don’t live in fear of relapse. I wasted 5 years on this. Embrace the creative life and know you are strong in recovery.

          98. Get extreme. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober…then double it and add ten. That’s how hard you have to push yourself.

          99. Raise the bar. Stop settling. Use your talents as a gift to the world and make a difference in some way.

          100. Live consciously. Set deliberate goals and go after them with overwhelming force.

          101. Embrace the creative life in recovery and live holistically.

          SOURCE: Spiritual River | Addiction Help

          __________________
          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

          Comment


            Tool box

            This was posted on another thread by Mario. Many of the ideas are included in other posts on this thread, but I like the list. I will be also pasting it in a document on my computer, editing it down to the ideas I'm currently using, adding my personal adaptations to the remaining ideas.

            101 Things to Keep You Clean & Sober
            Use a few of these great tips in helping yourself --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            1. Don’t underestimate your disease. Every single person does at first.

            2. Take care of yourself spiritually. Be mindful of your connection to your higher power today.

            3. Ignore the dismal relapse rates. You are creating your own success.

            4. Make a zero tolerance policy with yourself concerning relapse. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.

            5. Avoid fundamentalism, even in recovery. Rigid thinking and dogma can undermine your sobriety.

            6. You are creating a life of recovery and you are responsible for ALL OF IT. Yes, others can help you. Their “help” is mere advice. It is up to you to recover.

            7. Don’t confuse enthusiasm for action. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober and then do it.

            8. Listen to what the relapsing addicts keep preaching. Then do the opposite.

            9. Take care of your social network. Reach out to others in a meaningful way.

            10. Figure out a way to help other addicts or alcoholics.

            11. If you attend 12 step meetings, find one to start chairing. Consider H&I meetings (taking meetings into jails and treatment centers).

            12. Use mindfulness and a heightened awareness to overcome ego. Use meditation to overcome self.

            13. Practice forgiveness. Forgive all your past transgressors. Forgive yourself. You must do this to get long term relief from resentment.

            14. Be aware of diminishing returns, and spread out your recovery efforts (i.e., don’t focus on just “spiritual” growth).

            15. Rearrange all the furniture in your house. Anything to get through the night sometimes.

            16. Clean your house from top to bottom. Same as above.

            17. Go for a long walk.

            18. Buy a pet and care for it.

            19. Eat a gourmet meal.

            20. Cook a gourmet meal.

            21. Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.

            22. See a therapist.

            23. Work on a puzzle.

            24. Connect with someone else who is hurting.

            25. Start a project that is bigger than yourself.

            26. Revisit an old hobby.

            27. Teach someone something. (Anything!)

            28. Learn something new each day. (Anything!)

            29. Write in a daily journal.

            30. Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.

            31. Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.

            32. Join a recovery forum online.

            33. Start a free blog over at blogger.com and tell the world about your progress in recovery. Figure out your own tips on staying sober.

            34. Reconnect with your family and spend time with them.

            35. Go back to school.

            36. Learn a new skill or trade.

            37. Sponsor a newcomer.

            38. Make a commitment to chair a meeting each week.

            39. Celebrate the recovery of a friend.

            40. Spend time with your family.

            41. Email the spiritual river guy and tell him your problems.

            42. Celebrate your clean time with a cake.

            43. Write out a gratitude list.

            44. Read through your old journal entries and see how much you’ve changed.

            45. Try a new form of meditation (or make up your own…there is no “wrong” here). Some of the best tips to stay sober come from within.

            46. Write out a to-do list and cross each thing off as you accomplish it.

            47. Always have a big goal in the back of your mind that is challenging for you, but would make your day if you met it.

            48. Practice balance. Challenge your daily habits.

            49. Practice humility. Always be in “learning mode.”

            50. Forgive yourself and move on with your life.

            51. Sit down and write 2 goals out for yourself: one big one and one little one. Keep the paper in your pocket.

            52. Inspire someone else to grow. Challenge them to be a better person in some way. Encourage them through your own success.

            53. Learn to relax. Find your quiet place of rejuvenation and return to it often.

            54. Elevate your consciousness. Watch your own mind and see how it responds to events. Repeat often. Learn.

            55. Find the beauty in life. Appreciate all of it. Be grateful for beauty itself.

            56. Ask yourself with each decision: “Is this the healthiest choice for me right now?”

            57. Quit smoking cigarettes already.

            58. Be grateful for existence.

            59. If you go to the same AA meetings all the time, switch it up and go to a completely new meeting.

            60. Write a poem about how you are overcoming addiction.

            61. Turn off your television and read a book. Better: read recovery literature. Best: write your own recovery literature.

            62. Use overwhelming force to conquer a goal.

            63. Use the Sedona method to release emotions that are holding you back.

            64. Write your bucket list. Then, act.

            65. Figure out your life purpose.

            66. Write out a fourth step and share it with your sponsor.

            67. Take care of yourself physically. Exercise. Take a walk. No excuses.

            68. Keep your priorities straight. Physical abstinence is number one. Simple and effective.

            69. Keep a high price on your serenity. Don’t sacrifice it for just anyone and their whims.

            70. Use a sponsor for stage 2 recovery. Let them guide you through holistic living.

            71. Take care of yourself mentally. Go back to school. Get that degree.

            72. Find your own path. It is your responsibility to do so.

            73. Practice humility and stay teachable. Always be learning.

            74. Go to long term treatment and be done with it. Best decision I ever made.

            75. Don’t pin your hopes on a short stay in rehab. It takes more than that.

            76. Call your sponsor.

            77. Get a sponsor.

            78. Use a zero tolerance policy when it comes to self-pity. Never allow it for yourself ever again. Ever. It is poison.

            79. Read recovery literature.

            80. Join a recovery forum.

            81. Use outpatient treatment if that works for you. Take it as seriously as possible and connect with the others in your group.

            82. Meditate.

            83. Pray.

            84. Go out for coffee with a friend in recovery.

            85. Find your passion.

            86. Work out.

            87. Join a church.

            88. Volunteer.

            89. Take care of yourself emotionally. Don’t get knocked too far off your square.

            90. Stay vigilant against potential relapse. The disease can find many routes (gambling, prescription drugs, sex, etc.).

            91. Go to a meeting.

            92. Don’t pin your hopes on long term treatment. It takes a lifetime of learning for alcoholics and recovering drug addicts to recover.

            93. Use long term strategic thinking. Care for yourself, network with others, and pursue conscious growth.

            94. Don’t ask “why me?” Instead, ask “how can I create the life I really want now?”

            95. Call a friend in recovery.

            96. Sit down and write out a gratitude list.

            97. Don’t live in fear of relapse. I wasted 5 years on this. Embrace the creative life and know you are strong in recovery.

            98. Get extreme. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober…then double it and add ten. That’s how hard you have to push yourself.

            99. Raise the bar. Stop settling. Use your talents as a gift to the world and make a difference in some way.

            100. Live consciously. Set deliberate goals and go after them with overwhelming force.

            101. Embrace the creative life in recovery and live holistically.

            SOURCE: Spiritual River | Addiction Help

            __________________
            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

            Comment


              Tool box

              Added to toolbox by popular request. This was posted on the 'What We Believe' thread.

              Author and Blogger of ‘Momastery’
              Glennon Melton in her own words:

              I’m a recovering bulimic and alcoholic. For twenty years I was lost to food and booze and bad love and drugs. I suffered. My family suffered. I had a relatively magical childhood, which added an extra layer of guilt to my pain and confusion. Glennon- why are you all jacked up when you have no excuse to be all jacked up?? My best guess is that I was born a little broken, with an extra dose of sensitivity. Growing up, I felt like I was missing the armor I needed to expose myself to life’s risks – rejection, friendship, tender love. I felt awkward and unworthy and exposed. I felt naked. And I didn’t want to walk through life’s battlefield naked. I didn’t think I’d survive. So I made up my own little world called addiction and I hid there. I felt safe. No one could touch me.

              Glennon Doyle Melton: Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau

              Dearest Drunken Monkee Friend,

              I have been where you are this morning. I’ve lived through this day. This day when you wake up terrified. When you open your eyes and it hits you . . . the jig is up. When you lie paralyzed in bed and shake from the horrifying realization that life as you know it is over.

              Quickly you consider that perhaps that’s okay, because life as you know it totally blows. Even so, you can’t get out of bed because the thing is that you don’t know how. You don’t know how to live, how to interact, how to cope, how to function without a drink or at least the hope of a future drink. You never learned. You dropped out before all the lessons. So who will teach you how to live? Listen to me, because I am you.

              You are shaking from withdrawal and fear and panic this morning, so you cannot see clearly. You are very, very confused right now. You think that this is the worst day of your life, but you are wrong. This is the best day of your life, friend. Things, right now, are very, very good. Better than they have ever been in your entire life. Your angels are dancing. Because you have been offered freedom from the prison of secrets. You have been offered the gift of crisis.

              Kathleen Norris reminded me last night that the Greek root of the word crisis is “to sift.” As in to shake out the excesses and leave only what’s important. That’s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to decide and hold onto what matters most. And what matters most right now is that you are sober. You owe the world nothing else. And so you will not worry about whether the real you will be brave or smart or funny or beautiful or responsible enough. Because the only thing you have to be is sober. You owe the world absolutely nothing but sobriety. If you are sober, you are enough. Even if you are shaking and cursing and boring and terrified. You are enough.

              But becoming sober, becoming real, will be hard and painful. A lot of good things are.
              Becoming sober is like recovering from frostbite.

              The process of defrosting is excruciatingly painful. You have been so numb for so long. And as feeling comes back to your soul, you start to tingle, and it’s uncomfortable and strange. But then the tingles start feeling like daggers. Sadness, loss, fear, anger, all of these things that you have been numbing with the booze . . . you start to FEEL them for the first time. And it’s horrific at first, to tell you the damn truth. But feeling the pain, refusing to escape from it, is the only way to recovery. You can’t go around it, you can’t go over it, you have to go through it. There is no other option, except for amputation. And if you allow the defrosting process to take place, if you trust that it will work, if you can stand the pain, one day you will get your soul back. If you can feel, it means there has been no amputation. If you can feel, you can hope. If you can feel, you are not too late.

              Friend, we need you. The world has suffered while you’ve been hiding. You are already forgiven. You are loved. All there is to do now it to step into your life. What does that mean? What the hell does that mean? This is what it means. These are the steps you take. They are plain as mud.

              Get out of bed. Don’t lie there and think - thinking is the kiss of death for us - just move. Take a shower. Sing while you’re in there. MAKE YOURSELF SING. The stupider you feel, the better. Giggle at yourself, alone. Joy for its own sake . . . Joy just for you, created by you – it’s the best. Find yourself amusing.

              Put on some make-up. Blow dry your hair. Wear something nice, something that makes you feel grown up. If you have nothing, go buy something. Today’s not the day to worry too much about money. Invest in some good coffee, caffeinated and decaf. Decaf after eleven o’clock. Read your daughter a story. Don’t think about other things while you’re reading, actually pay attention to the words. Then braid your girl’s hair. Clean the sink. Keep good books within reach. Start with Traveling Mercies. David Sedaris is good, too. If you don’t have any good books, go to the library. If you don’t have a library card, apply for one. This will stress you out. You will worry that the librarian will sense that you are a disaster and reject you. But listen, they don’t know and they don’t care. They gave me a card, and I’ve got a rap sheet as long as your arm. When practicing re-entering society and risking rejection, the library is a good place to start. They have low expectations. I love the library. Also church. Both have to take you in.

              Alternate two prayers – “Help” and “Thank you.” That’s all the spirituality you’ll need for a while. Go to meetings. Any meeting will do. Don’t worry if the other addicts there are “enough like you.” Face it – we are all the same – be humble.

              Get Out Of The House. If you have nowhere to go, take a walk outside. Do not excuse yourself from walks because it’s cold. Bundle up. The sky will remind you of how big God is, and if you’re not down with God, then the oxygen will help. Same thing. Call one friend a day. Do not start the conversation by telling her how you are. Ask how she is. Really listen to her response, and offer your love. You will discover that you can help a friend just by listening, and this discovery will remind you that you are powerful and worthy.
              Get a yoga DVD and a pretty mat. Practice yoga after your daughter goes to bed. The evenings are dangerous times, so have a plan. Yoga is good for people like us, it teaches us to breathe and that solitude is a gift. Learn to keep yourself company.

              When you start to feel . . . do. For example – when you start to feel scared because you don’t have enough money….find someone to give a little money to. When you start to feel like you don’t have enough love. . . find someone to offer love. When you feel unappreciated, unacknowledged . . . appreciate and acknowledge someone in your life in a concrete way. When you feel unlucky, order yourself to consider a blessing or two. And then find a tangible way to make today somebody else’s lucky day. This strategy helps me sidestep wallowing every day.

              Don’t worry about whether you like doing these things or not. You’re going to hate everything for a long while. And the fact is that you don’t even know what you like or hate yet. Just Do These Things Regardless of How You Feel About Doing These Things. Because these little things, done over and over again, eventually add up to a life. A good one.


              Friend, I am sober this morning. Thank God Almighty, I’m sober this morning. I’m here, friend. Last week, my son turned nine. Which means that I haven’t had a drink for nine years and nine months. Lots of beautiful and horrible things have happened to me during the past nine years and nine months. And I have more or less handled my business day in and day out without booze. GOD, I ROCK.

              And today, I’m a wife and a mother and a daughter and friend and a writer and a dreamer and a Sister to one and a “sister” to thousands of monkees… and I wasn’t any of those things when I was a drunk.

              And I absolutely love being a recovering alcoholic, friend. I am more proud of the “recovering” badge I wear than any other.

              What will you be, friend? What will you be when you become yourself? We would love to find out with you.

              Love,
              G
              Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

              Comment


                Tool box

                Added to toolbox by popular request. This was posted on the 'What We Believe' thread.

                Author and Blogger of ‘Momastery’
                Glennon Melton in her own words:

                I’m a recovering bulimic and alcoholic. For twenty years I was lost to food and booze and bad love and drugs. I suffered. My family suffered. I had a relatively magical childhood, which added an extra layer of guilt to my pain and confusion. Glennon- why are you all jacked up when you have no excuse to be all jacked up?? My best guess is that I was born a little broken, with an extra dose of sensitivity. Growing up, I felt like I was missing the armor I needed to expose myself to life’s risks – rejection, friendship, tender love. I felt awkward and unworthy and exposed. I felt naked. And I didn’t want to walk through life’s battlefield naked. I didn’t think I’d survive. So I made up my own little world called addiction and I hid there. I felt safe. No one could touch me.

                Glennon Doyle Melton: Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau

                Dearest Drunken Monkee Friend,

                I have been where you are this morning. I’ve lived through this day. This day when you wake up terrified. When you open your eyes and it hits you . . . the jig is up. When you lie paralyzed in bed and shake from the horrifying realization that life as you know it is over.

                Quickly you consider that perhaps that’s okay, because life as you know it totally blows. Even so, you can’t get out of bed because the thing is that you don’t know how. You don’t know how to live, how to interact, how to cope, how to function without a drink or at least the hope of a future drink. You never learned. You dropped out before all the lessons. So who will teach you how to live? Listen to me, because I am you.

                You are shaking from withdrawal and fear and panic this morning, so you cannot see clearly. You are very, very confused right now. You think that this is the worst day of your life, but you are wrong. This is the best day of your life, friend. Things, right now, are very, very good. Better than they have ever been in your entire life. Your angels are dancing. Because you have been offered freedom from the prison of secrets. You have been offered the gift of crisis.

                Kathleen Norris reminded me last night that the Greek root of the word crisis is “to sift.” As in to shake out the excesses and leave only what’s important. That’s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to decide and hold onto what matters most. And what matters most right now is that you are sober. You owe the world nothing else. And so you will not worry about whether the real you will be brave or smart or funny or beautiful or responsible enough. Because the only thing you have to be is sober. You owe the world absolutely nothing but sobriety. If you are sober, you are enough. Even if you are shaking and cursing and boring and terrified. You are enough.

                But becoming sober, becoming real, will be hard and painful. A lot of good things are.
                Becoming sober is like recovering from frostbite.

                The process of defrosting is excruciatingly painful. You have been so numb for so long. And as feeling comes back to your soul, you start to tingle, and it’s uncomfortable and strange. But then the tingles start feeling like daggers. Sadness, loss, fear, anger, all of these things that you have been numbing with the booze . . . you start to FEEL them for the first time. And it’s horrific at first, to tell you the damn truth. But feeling the pain, refusing to escape from it, is the only way to recovery. You can’t go around it, you can’t go over it, you have to go through it. There is no other option, except for amputation. And if you allow the defrosting process to take place, if you trust that it will work, if you can stand the pain, one day you will get your soul back. If you can feel, it means there has been no amputation. If you can feel, you can hope. If you can feel, you are not too late.

                Friend, we need you. The world has suffered while you’ve been hiding. You are already forgiven. You are loved. All there is to do now it to step into your life. What does that mean? What the hell does that mean? This is what it means. These are the steps you take. They are plain as mud.

                Get out of bed. Don’t lie there and think - thinking is the kiss of death for us - just move. Take a shower. Sing while you’re in there. MAKE YOURSELF SING. The stupider you feel, the better. Giggle at yourself, alone. Joy for its own sake . . . Joy just for you, created by you – it’s the best. Find yourself amusing.

                Put on some make-up. Blow dry your hair. Wear something nice, something that makes you feel grown up. If you have nothing, go buy something. Today’s not the day to worry too much about money. Invest in some good coffee, caffeinated and decaf. Decaf after eleven o’clock. Read your daughter a story. Don’t think about other things while you’re reading, actually pay attention to the words. Then braid your girl’s hair. Clean the sink. Keep good books within reach. Start with Traveling Mercies. David Sedaris is good, too. If you don’t have any good books, go to the library. If you don’t have a library card, apply for one. This will stress you out. You will worry that the librarian will sense that you are a disaster and reject you. But listen, they don’t know and they don’t care. They gave me a card, and I’ve got a rap sheet as long as your arm. When practicing re-entering society and risking rejection, the library is a good place to start. They have low expectations. I love the library. Also church. Both have to take you in.

                Alternate two prayers – “Help” and “Thank you.” That’s all the spirituality you’ll need for a while. Go to meetings. Any meeting will do. Don’t worry if the other addicts there are “enough like you.” Face it – we are all the same – be humble.

                Get Out Of The House. If you have nowhere to go, take a walk outside. Do not excuse yourself from walks because it’s cold. Bundle up. The sky will remind you of how big God is, and if you’re not down with God, then the oxygen will help. Same thing. Call one friend a day. Do not start the conversation by telling her how you are. Ask how she is. Really listen to her response, and offer your love. You will discover that you can help a friend just by listening, and this discovery will remind you that you are powerful and worthy.
                Get a yoga DVD and a pretty mat. Practice yoga after your daughter goes to bed. The evenings are dangerous times, so have a plan. Yoga is good for people like us, it teaches us to breathe and that solitude is a gift. Learn to keep yourself company.

                When you start to feel . . . do. For example – when you start to feel scared because you don’t have enough money….find someone to give a little money to. When you start to feel like you don’t have enough love. . . find someone to offer love. When you feel unappreciated, unacknowledged . . . appreciate and acknowledge someone in your life in a concrete way. When you feel unlucky, order yourself to consider a blessing or two. And then find a tangible way to make today somebody else’s lucky day. This strategy helps me sidestep wallowing every day.

                Don’t worry about whether you like doing these things or not. You’re going to hate everything for a long while. And the fact is that you don’t even know what you like or hate yet. Just Do These Things Regardless of How You Feel About Doing These Things. Because these little things, done over and over again, eventually add up to a life. A good one.


                Friend, I am sober this morning. Thank God Almighty, I’m sober this morning. I’m here, friend. Last week, my son turned nine. Which means that I haven’t had a drink for nine years and nine months. Lots of beautiful and horrible things have happened to me during the past nine years and nine months. And I have more or less handled my business day in and day out without booze. GOD, I ROCK.

                And today, I’m a wife and a mother and a daughter and friend and a writer and a dreamer and a Sister to one and a “sister” to thousands of monkees… and I wasn’t any of those things when I was a drunk.

                And I absolutely love being a recovering alcoholic, friend. I am more proud of the “recovering” badge I wear than any other.

                What will you be, friend? What will you be when you become yourself? We would love to find out with you.

                Love,
                G
                Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                Comment


                  Tool box

                  I am finding all of this suggestions invaluable and thank you to all of you for sharing. You are saving lives.

                  Comment


                    Tool box

                    I am finding all of this suggestions invaluable and thank you to all of you for sharing. You are saving lives.

                    Comment


                      Tool box

                      Well I have been spending some time rooting through the tool box in the last day or so. Tomorrow I am going to happily be sober for 7 days. I have copy, pasted and printed several things including 101 Things to Keep You Clean and Sober. I am going to keep this handy in the coming weeks because I am sure I will be hearing Al's voice more than once in the next few days and weeks.

                      Thank you again.
                      AF Since 11/02/12 :wings::bananacomputer::lilangel:

                      Comment


                        Tool box

                        Well I have been spending some time rooting through the tool box in the last day or so. Tomorrow I am going to happily be sober for 7 days. I have copy, pasted and printed several things including 101 Things to Keep You Clean and Sober. I am going to keep this handy in the coming weeks because I am sure I will be hearing Al's voice more than once in the next few days and weeks.

                        Thank you again.
                        AF Since 11/02/12 :wings::bananacomputer::lilangel:

                        Comment


                          Tool box

                          Is there a way I can call up all my own posts so I can go back and read them and see how far I have come?
                          AF Since 11/02/12 :wings::bananacomputer::lilangel:

                          Comment


                            Tool box

                            Is there a way I can call up all my own posts so I can go back and read them and see how far I have come?
                            AF Since 11/02/12 :wings::bananacomputer::lilangel:

                            Comment


                              Tool box

                              Hi Nanette! Just click on your name, then click on "find all posts by Nanette". I hope you are continuing to do well.
                              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                              Comment


                                Tool box

                                Hi Nanette! Just click on your name, then click on "find all posts by Nanette". I hope you are continuing to do well.
                                My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X