Tool box

[Vekara]

Tool box

LittleLottie;1479337 wrote: :new:


Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I cant say no and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.

Hi LittleLottie,

I'm new here too and I'm very glad I came across your post. I feel like my situation is very similar to yours and I've been playing with the idea of quitting drinking for a while now and I feel more and more confident that this is what I need to do.

Drinking is meant to be fun, but if the next morning (or next few days) all your left is shame and guilty conscience, is no longer worth it.

Im sure you're going to have an amazing sober birthday and inspired by your post and by some good advice I was given here earlier today, I think I will share my plans with my boyfriend as well and start gradually living a new healthier and happier life - just like you said not wasting anymore days.

-V

[NoSugar]

Tool box

:welcome: Vekera,

Since you are new, a good place to hang out is in the Newbies Nest (link below). There are long-, mid-, and short-term alcohol- free people there who are eager to support you. This toolbox is full of ideas for getting sober.

You have found a great place to reclaim the life you were meant to live. I hope to see you in the nest!

NS

[NoSugar]

Tool box

:welcome: Vekera,

Since you are new, a good place to hang out is in the Newbies Nest (link below). There are long-, mid-, and short-term alcohol- free people there who are eager to support you. This toolbox is full of ideas for getting sober.

You have found a great place to reclaim the life you were meant to live. I hope to see you in the nest!

NS

[Elliesmom]

Tool box

Supplements -- SUPER helpful first few days and weeks

Byrdlady asked me to post this schedule from My Way Out for supplements -- if you click on the link you'll be taken to the dosage charge, which includes time of the day to take them as well. The most important supplements for helping with cravings are Kudzu and L-Glutamine; other supplements recommended that calm down the nervous system and help minimize withdrawals are GABA, Calms Forte, and 5-HTP. Supps that get the healing kick-started are magnesium, B vitamins, milk thistle,

http://www.mywayout.org/supps/update.pdf

You can buy all of the above at any vitamin store, but might want to call ahead and ask if they carry Kudzu; of 3 stores in my town, 2 carry.

They really do work!

[Elliesmom]

Tool box

Supplements -- SUPER helpful first few days and weeks

Byrdlady asked me to post this schedule from My Way Out for supplements -- if you click on the link you'll be taken to the dosage charge, which includes time of the day to take them as well. The most important supplements for helping with cravings are Kudzu and L-Glutamine; other supplements recommended that calm down the nervous system and help minimize withdrawals are GABA, Calms Forte, and 5-HTP. Supps that get the healing kick-started are magnesium, B vitamins, milk thistle,

http://www.mywayout.org/supps/update.pdf

You can buy all of the above at any vitamin store, but might want to call ahead and ask if they carry Kudzu; of 3 stores in my town, 2 carry.

They really do work!

[flunch]

Tool box

Elliesmom;1475358 wrote: Hey there friends...one of our flock leaders in the nest asked if I would re-post something here that I wrote this last week, so here it is.
--------------------------------------------------------

[COLOR=Blue][I]It's been incredibly, terribly lonely, and the shame and guilt has me filled with self-loathing... I've been operating on this assumption that I probably will die soon, and I'm only in my mid 40's. I had pretty much given up... as long as death is probably around the corner anyway.. I imagined myself in that casket and my 15 and 17 year old daughters the ones consumed with grief. But without a mom to console them...So I woke up yesterday and decided I owed it to my children to try one more time. So here I am.

Good Monday, All -- that paragraph above was my first post to this site, 30 days ago. There have been many times when I wanted to go back and recall what I had written, because all I remembered was that I cried a lot while I was typing. But I knew it would be painful, so I've been waiting for this day to go back and compare my life a month ago to my life this morning. And it's WONDERFUL, and new, and filled with tons of HOPE, which I thought was gone forever.

I'm not the best cheerleader here by a long-shot, but I just wanted to share that to encourage any new folks...and maybe others who've been around and slipped...that it IS totally possible to quit. It's harder than hell but you can do it.

Whenever I think about AL, I remind myself that while the cravings still pop up, the physical need is GONE. The craving is real, but it's coming from some part of our primitive brains and will shut up once we remind it who's in charge (and eat!). After 7 days your body doesn't need it anymore. So what would I get if I allowed myself "just 1 drink?"

A pleasant, light buzz? No. There's been a lot posted here about how our tolerance will remain high for years, even, so "just 1" won't make me feel any pleasant physical sensations other than suddenly craving a lot more. My tolerance is the same as the day I quit.

A treat to reward myself? There's no such think as an AL "treat" for me. I can't have "just 1", ever. For me, it will always be an all-you-can-eat AL buffet versus a treat.

Relaxation and good sleep? I sweat all night, woke up multiple times because my heart was pounding/racing, and was tired all the time.


How about a fine wine for that amazing sensory experience? NO. That's what I used to tell myself, but it's a fat lie. No alcoholic drink can beat a bowl of ice cream, ever.

What I WOULD get is an addiction back. I'd be up to a big liter of gin every day within 5 days, I'm sure of it. It nearly destroyed my life and if I hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would be dead within a year or two, and I know it's the same for lots of you in the nest.

Other things I'd get are guilt, shame and self-loathing every morning. Lying to everyone around me. Worried at work that it's still on my breath. Going home at noon for a lunch made of cocktails to stop the shakes, then going back to work with it ACTUALLY on my breath (I know some of my colleagues had to have smelled it...I can't believe I was never busted). Oh yeah, worrying about being busted. Panicking every time I saw a police officer. Not remembering what I said to my daughters the night before. Not remembering promises I made and breaking them. Not remembering kissing my kids goodnight and telling them I love them. My youngest telling me my breath stinks. Missing my kids' events because I shouldn't drive. Missing parent-teacher conferences because I was too drunk to drive. Getting into fights with my husband and not remembering them. Spending at least $80 a week on gin. Spending $40 a week on nice wine to drink so my husband wouldn't suspect I was actually chugging the hard liqour. Pretending to have the stomach flue when I was incredibly hung over. Remembering its recycling day and racing home to take it outside before my husband saw what was in there. And the big one...hating myself and wishing for death, because I had accepted it was coming soon and just wanted to get it over with. That was just 30 days ago.

Whew. There's a lot more, but those were the biggies. I wanted to share that, because I know most of you could have written that same paragraph. During the times I was tempted this past month, I would read lists like that from other Nesters and be reminded about the place I came from versus the place I'm at today, and the place I am guaranteed to go back to with "just 1". For the rest of my life, the ONLY thing I will EVER get from "just 1" is being ripped back into a life of a living hell.

That is my truth, but it's not the end of my story. Now I have hope, contentment, and while I'm still working on the whole inner peace thing and forgiving myself, I'm a work in progress versus a lost cause. I plan to be around, now, for my children's college graduations, weddings, and maybe even live to meet some grandchildren.

All of that is what I want and need, and I don't ever want to lose again the hope that I'll someday have that. This place has been a blessing for me in huge ways !

Elliesmom
Thank you so much for posting that. It's taken me almost an hour to read it through the tears.

I am where you were when you thought you would probably be gone soon. I am still here, but that's more luck than (my) judgement and, by the grace of my ever suffering partner and two great friends. (+ dog).

I confessed everything to my partner and our two friends over the course of yesterday and today. They already knew I had a problem but it was mostly(entirely) left unspoken.

I took my partner on a tour of the house to show all the bottle hiding places I remembered. and I apologised and explained my odd behaviour to one of my friends who had previously almost accidentally stumbled across a stash of empty bottles.

I think the end of that tour is yet to be written (I at least thought I was good at ihe hiding part). Please note I was better at hiding than finding!

I have sipped for two days now to try and taper down and today visited the Doctor with my better half. Time will tell if that works.

I now have Librium, Alprazol (aka Zanex I think) and Zopitan (sleeping) tablets, now all I have to work out is when to stop sipping and take the meds.

I'm really lucky that due to a bizarre set of recent circumstances I'm sharing a home with my partner, two friends and a dog (that part sounds much more exciting than it is). This is either going to be a really long story, or there will just be no more story.

[flunch]

Tool box

Elliesmom;1475358 wrote: Hey there friends...one of our flock leaders in the nest asked if I would re-post something here that I wrote this last week, so here it is.
--------------------------------------------------------

[COLOR=Blue][I]It's been incredibly, terribly lonely, and the shame and guilt has me filled with self-loathing... I've been operating on this assumption that I probably will die soon, and I'm only in my mid 40's. I had pretty much given up... as long as death is probably around the corner anyway.. I imagined myself in that casket and my 15 and 17 year old daughters the ones consumed with grief. But without a mom to console them...So I woke up yesterday and decided I owed it to my children to try one more time. So here I am.

Good Monday, All -- that paragraph above was my first post to this site, 30 days ago. There have been many times when I wanted to go back and recall what I had written, because all I remembered was that I cried a lot while I was typing. But I knew it would be painful, so I've been waiting for this day to go back and compare my life a month ago to my life this morning. And it's WONDERFUL, and new, and filled with tons of HOPE, which I thought was gone forever.

I'm not the best cheerleader here by a long-shot, but I just wanted to share that to encourage any new folks...and maybe others who've been around and slipped...that it IS totally possible to quit. It's harder than hell but you can do it.

Whenever I think about AL, I remind myself that while the cravings still pop up, the physical need is GONE. The craving is real, but it's coming from some part of our primitive brains and will shut up once we remind it who's in charge (and eat!). After 7 days your body doesn't need it anymore. So what would I get if I allowed myself "just 1 drink?"

A pleasant, light buzz? No. There's been a lot posted here about how our tolerance will remain high for years, even, so "just 1" won't make me feel any pleasant physical sensations other than suddenly craving a lot more. My tolerance is the same as the day I quit.

A treat to reward myself? There's no such think as an AL "treat" for me. I can't have "just 1", ever. For me, it will always be an all-you-can-eat AL buffet versus a treat.

Relaxation and good sleep? I sweat all night, woke up multiple times because my heart was pounding/racing, and was tired all the time.


How about a fine wine for that amazing sensory experience? NO. That's what I used to tell myself, but it's a fat lie. No alcoholic drink can beat a bowl of ice cream, ever.

What I WOULD get is an addiction back. I'd be up to a big liter of gin every day within 5 days, I'm sure of it. It nearly destroyed my life and if I hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would be dead within a year or two, and I know it's the same for lots of you in the nest.

Other things I'd get are guilt, shame and self-loathing every morning. Lying to everyone around me. Worried at work that it's still on my breath. Going home at noon for a lunch made of cocktails to stop the shakes, then going back to work with it ACTUALLY on my breath (I know some of my colleagues had to have smelled it...I can't believe I was never busted). Oh yeah, worrying about being busted. Panicking every time I saw a police officer. Not remembering what I said to my daughters the night before. Not remembering promises I made and breaking them. Not remembering kissing my kids goodnight and telling them I love them. My youngest telling me my breath stinks. Missing my kids' events because I shouldn't drive. Missing parent-teacher conferences because I was too drunk to drive. Getting into fights with my husband and not remembering them. Spending at least $80 a week on gin. Spending $40 a week on nice wine to drink so my husband wouldn't suspect I was actually chugging the hard liqour. Pretending to have the stomach flue when I was incredibly hung over. Remembering its recycling day and racing home to take it outside before my husband saw what was in there. And the big one...hating myself and wishing for death, because I had accepted it was coming soon and just wanted to get it over with. That was just 30 days ago.

Whew. There's a lot more, but those were the biggies. I wanted to share that, because I know most of you could have written that same paragraph. During the times I was tempted this past month, I would read lists like that from other Nesters and be reminded about the place I came from versus the place I'm at today, and the place I am guaranteed to go back to with "just 1". For the rest of my life, the ONLY thing I will EVER get from "just 1" is being ripped back into a life of a living hell.

That is my truth, but it's not the end of my story. Now I have hope, contentment, and while I'm still working on the whole inner peace thing and forgiving myself, I'm a work in progress versus a lost cause. I plan to be around, now, for my children's college graduations, weddings, and maybe even live to meet some grandchildren.

All of that is what I want and need, and I don't ever want to lose again the hope that I'll someday have that. This place has been a blessing for me in huge ways !

Elliesmom
Thank you so much for posting that. It's taken me almost an hour to read it through the tears.

I am where you were when you thought you would probably be gone soon. I am still here, but that's more luck than (my) judgement and, by the grace of my ever suffering partner and two great friends. (+ dog).

I confessed everything to my partner and our two friends over the course of yesterday and today. They already knew I had a problem but it was mostly(entirely) left unspoken.

I took my partner on a tour of the house to show all the bottle hiding places I remembered. and I apologised and explained my odd behaviour to one of my friends who had previously almost accidentally stumbled across a stash of empty bottles.

I think the end of that tour is yet to be written (I at least thought I was good at ihe hiding part). Please note I was better at hiding than finding!

I have sipped for two days now to try and taper down and today visited the Doctor with my better half. Time will tell if that works.

I now have Librium, Alprazol (aka Zanex I think) and Zopitan (sleeping) tablets, now all I have to work out is when to stop sipping and take the meds.

I'm really lucky that due to a bizarre set of recent circumstances I'm sharing a home with my partner, two friends and a dog (that part sounds much more exciting than it is). This is either going to be a really long story, or there will just be no more story.

[flunch]

Tool box

Elliesmom;1475358 wrote: Hey there friends...one of our flock leaders in the nest asked if I would re-post something here that I wrote this last week, so here it is.
--------------------------------------------------------

[COLOR=Blue][I]It's been incredibly, terribly lonely, and the shame and guilt has me filled with self-loathing... I've been operating on this assumption that I probably will die soon, and I'm only in my mid 40's. I had pretty much given up... as long as death is probably around the corner anyway.. I imagined myself in that casket and my 15 and 17 year old daughters the ones consumed with grief. But without a mom to console them...So I woke up yesterday and decided I owed it to my children to try one more time. So here I am.

Good Monday, All -- that paragraph above was my first post to this site, 30 days ago. There have been many times when I wanted to go back and recall what I had written, because all I remembered was that I cried a lot while I was typing. But I knew it would be painful, so I've been waiting for this day to go back and compare my life a month ago to my life this morning. And it's WONDERFUL, and new, and filled with tons of HOPE, which I thought was gone forever.

I'm not the best cheerleader here by a long-shot, but I just wanted to share that to encourage any new folks...and maybe others who've been around and slipped...that it IS totally possible to quit. It's harder than hell but you can do it.

Whenever I think about AL, I remind myself that while the cravings still pop up, the physical need is GONE. The craving is real, but it's coming from some part of our primitive brains and will shut up once we remind it who's in charge (and eat!). After 7 days your body doesn't need it anymore. So what would I get if I allowed myself "just 1 drink?"

A pleasant, light buzz? No. There's been a lot posted here about how our tolerance will remain high for years, even, so "just 1" won't make me feel any pleasant physical sensations other than suddenly craving a lot more. My tolerance is the same as the day I quit.

A treat to reward myself? There's no such think as an AL "treat" for me. I can't have "just 1", ever. For me, it will always be an all-you-can-eat AL buffet versus a treat.

Relaxation and good sleep? I sweat all night, woke up multiple times because my heart was pounding/racing, and was tired all the time.


How about a fine wine for that amazing sensory experience? NO. That's what I used to tell myself, but it's a fat lie. No alcoholic drink can beat a bowl of ice cream, ever.

What I WOULD get is an addiction back. I'd be up to a big liter of gin every day within 5 days, I'm sure of it. It nearly destroyed my life and if I hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would be dead within a year or two, and I know it's the same for lots of you in the nest.

Other things I'd get are guilt, shame and self-loathing every morning. Lying to everyone around me. Worried at work that it's still on my breath. Going home at noon for a lunch made of cocktails to stop the shakes, then going back to work with it ACTUALLY on my breath (I know some of my colleagues had to have smelled it...I can't believe I was never busted). Oh yeah, worrying about being busted. Panicking every time I saw a police officer. Not remembering what I said to my daughters the night before. Not remembering promises I made and breaking them. Not remembering kissing my kids goodnight and telling them I love them. My youngest telling me my breath stinks. Missing my kids' events because I shouldn't drive. Missing parent-teacher conferences because I was too drunk to drive. Getting into fights with my husband and not remembering them. Spending at least $80 a week on gin. Spending $40 a week on nice wine to drink so my husband wouldn't suspect I was actually chugging the hard liqour. Pretending to have the stomach flue when I was incredibly hung over. Remembering its recycling day and racing home to take it outside before my husband saw what was in there. And the big one...hating myself and wishing for death, because I had accepted it was coming soon and just wanted to get it over with. That was just 30 days ago.

Whew. There's a lot more, but those were the biggies. I wanted to share that, because I know most of you could have written that same paragraph. During the times I was tempted this past month, I would read lists like that from other Nesters and be reminded about the place I came from versus the place I'm at today, and the place I am guaranteed to go back to with "just 1". For the rest of my life, the ONLY thing I will EVER get from "just 1" is being ripped back into a life of a living hell.

That is my truth, but it's not the end of my story. Now I have hope, contentment, and while I'm still working on the whole inner peace thing and forgiving myself, I'm a work in progress versus a lost cause. I plan to be around, now, for my children's college graduations, weddings, and maybe even live to meet some grandchildren.

All of that is what I want and need, and I don't ever want to lose again the hope that I'll someday have that. This place has been a blessing for me in huge ways !

Elliesmom
Thank you so much for posting that. It's taken me almost an hour to read it through the tears.

I am where you were, when you thought you would probably be gone soon. I am still here, but that's more luck than (my) judgement and, by the grace of my ever suffering partner and two great friends. (+ dog).

I confessed everything to my partner and our two friends (+ dog) over the course of yesterday and today. They already knew I had a problem but it was mostly(entirely) left unspoken.

I took my partner on a tour of the house to show all the bottle hiding places I remembered. and I apologised and explained my odd behaviour to one of my friends who had previously almost accidentally stumbled across a stash of empty bottles.

I think the end of that tour is yet to be written (I at least thought I was good at ihe hiding part). Please note I was better at hiding than finding!

I have sipped for two days now to try and taper down and today visited the Doctor with my better half. Time will tell if that works.

I now have Librium, Alprazol (aka Zanex I think) and Zopitan (sleeping) tablets, now all I have to work out is when to stop sipping and take the meds.

I'm really lucky that due to a bizarre set of recent circumstances I'm sharing a home with my partner, two friends (+ dog) (that part sounds much more exciting than it is).

This is either going to be a really long story, or there will just be no more story.

To everyone here I really thank you, and wish you all the best.

[flunch]

Tool box

Elliesmom;1475358 wrote: Hey there friends...one of our flock leaders in the nest asked if I would re-post something here that I wrote this last week, so here it is.
--------------------------------------------------------

[COLOR=Blue][I]It's been incredibly, terribly lonely, and the shame and guilt has me filled with self-loathing... I've been operating on this assumption that I probably will die soon, and I'm only in my mid 40's. I had pretty much given up... as long as death is probably around the corner anyway.. I imagined myself in that casket and my 15 and 17 year old daughters the ones consumed with grief. But without a mom to console them...So I woke up yesterday and decided I owed it to my children to try one more time. So here I am.

Good Monday, All -- that paragraph above was my first post to this site, 30 days ago. There have been many times when I wanted to go back and recall what I had written, because all I remembered was that I cried a lot while I was typing. But I knew it would be painful, so I've been waiting for this day to go back and compare my life a month ago to my life this morning. And it's WONDERFUL, and new, and filled with tons of HOPE, which I thought was gone forever.

I'm not the best cheerleader here by a long-shot, but I just wanted to share that to encourage any new folks...and maybe others who've been around and slipped...that it IS totally possible to quit. It's harder than hell but you can do it.

Whenever I think about AL, I remind myself that while the cravings still pop up, the physical need is GONE. The craving is real, but it's coming from some part of our primitive brains and will shut up once we remind it who's in charge (and eat!). After 7 days your body doesn't need it anymore. So what would I get if I allowed myself "just 1 drink?"

A pleasant, light buzz? No. There's been a lot posted here about how our tolerance will remain high for years, even, so "just 1" won't make me feel any pleasant physical sensations other than suddenly craving a lot more. My tolerance is the same as the day I quit.

A treat to reward myself? There's no such think as an AL "treat" for me. I can't have "just 1", ever. For me, it will always be an all-you-can-eat AL buffet versus a treat.

Relaxation and good sleep? I sweat all night, woke up multiple times because my heart was pounding/racing, and was tired all the time.


How about a fine wine for that amazing sensory experience? NO. That's what I used to tell myself, but it's a fat lie. No alcoholic drink can beat a bowl of ice cream, ever.

What I WOULD get is an addiction back. I'd be up to a big liter of gin every day within 5 days, I'm sure of it. It nearly destroyed my life and if I hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would be dead within a year or two, and I know it's the same for lots of you in the nest.

Other things I'd get are guilt, shame and self-loathing every morning. Lying to everyone around me. Worried at work that it's still on my breath. Going home at noon for a lunch made of cocktails to stop the shakes, then going back to work with it ACTUALLY on my breath (I know some of my colleagues had to have smelled it...I can't believe I was never busted). Oh yeah, worrying about being busted. Panicking every time I saw a police officer. Not remembering what I said to my daughters the night before. Not remembering promises I made and breaking them. Not remembering kissing my kids goodnight and telling them I love them. My youngest telling me my breath stinks. Missing my kids' events because I shouldn't drive. Missing parent-teacher conferences because I was too drunk to drive. Getting into fights with my husband and not remembering them. Spending at least $80 a week on gin. Spending $40 a week on nice wine to drink so my husband wouldn't suspect I was actually chugging the hard liqour. Pretending to have the stomach flue when I was incredibly hung over. Remembering its recycling day and racing home to take it outside before my husband saw what was in there. And the big one...hating myself and wishing for death, because I had accepted it was coming soon and just wanted to get it over with. That was just 30 days ago.

Whew. There's a lot more, but those were the biggies. I wanted to share that, because I know most of you could have written that same paragraph. During the times I was tempted this past month, I would read lists like that from other Nesters and be reminded about the place I came from versus the place I'm at today, and the place I am guaranteed to go back to with "just 1". For the rest of my life, the ONLY thing I will EVER get from "just 1" is being ripped back into a life of a living hell.

That is my truth, but it's not the end of my story. Now I have hope, contentment, and while I'm still working on the whole inner peace thing and forgiving myself, I'm a work in progress versus a lost cause. I plan to be around, now, for my children's college graduations, weddings, and maybe even live to meet some grandchildren.

All of that is what I want and need, and I don't ever want to lose again the hope that I'll someday have that. This place has been a blessing for me in huge ways !

Elliesmom
Thank you so much for posting that. It's taken me almost an hour to read it through the tears.

I am where you were, when you thought you would probably be gone soon. I am still here, but that's more luck than (my) judgement and, by the grace of my ever suffering partner and two great friends. (+ dog).

I confessed everything to my partner and our two friends (+ dog) over the course of yesterday and today. They already knew I had a problem but it was mostly(entirely) left unspoken.

I took my partner on a tour of the house to show all the bottle hiding places I remembered. and I apologised and explained my odd behaviour to one of my friends who had previously almost accidentally stumbled across a stash of empty bottles.

I think the end of that tour is yet to be written (I at least thought I was good at ihe hiding part). Please note I was better at hiding than finding!

I have sipped for two days now to try and taper down and today visited the Doctor with my better half. Time will tell if that works.

I now have Librium, Alprazol (aka Zanex I think) and Zopitan (sleeping) tablets, now all I have to work out is when to stop sipping and take the meds.

I'm really lucky that due to a bizarre set of recent circumstances I'm sharing a home with my partner, two friends (+ dog) (that part sounds much more exciting than it is).

This is either going to be a really long story, or there will just be no more story.

To everyone here I really thank you, and wish you all the best.

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

After the 30 days.....Now what?

So you've done the 30 days AF!! But then a feeling of 'now what do I do?' sets in...it's a real LULL in your emotions and is difficult to explain. What I do know is that this is a natural stage in our progress. Everyone experiences it....I describe it below as progressing thru the stages of grief.


As I mentioned to a response to Allan yesterday in his thread....he'd reached his 30 day goal and then felt like a bride coming back from her honeymoon...NOW WHAT? I was explaining to him that breaking free of alcohol is, in effect, ending a relationship. And I mean a long-standing, hard-core, abusive, solid relationship. In essence you are going thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger (what brought you here..."I'm SICK of this crazy life!"), Denial (Maybe I'm not all that bad! What was I thinking? Other people drink as much or MORE than I do' I think this is where the biggest Pity Party is thrown...it comes after the first 2 weeks and before day 30), BARGAINING ( why don't I try to moderate? Other people are able to do it...if I could just have one precious glass of _____ I'd be ok, THEN I'll get right back on track..), Depression (Is THIS all there is? Where are the balloons? Is this as good as it's ever going to get? ' Well shit...'.) and finally, acceptance. Let me tell you, this is where it's at. You finally are able to accept that, NO, you CANNOT drink ....AT ALL. Not one, not ever.....and you are ok with this. This is the stage where you can see AL for what it really is....a DRUG. Some people abuse drugs and some people don't. We do. Each stage in grieving is very important. Once you can see what is going on and that you aren't going crazy, it helps...at least it did for me. What you are going thru is the natural stages of loss. If you stay the course, I promise it will get better....I can also make a promise the other way, too....if we stay on the path we were on....well, you get the picture. I can assure you there will be a day where you don't even think about AL! As hard as it is now....it seems hard to believe. As hardcore as I was, I can now come to the end of an evening and think...I'll be dam, I didn't even think about it. THAT is amazing! You will get there...it just takes some time. Please hang in with us...you can do it! If I can do it, you can too!!! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Tool box

After the 30 days.....Now what?

So you've done the 30 days AF!! But then a feeling of 'now what do I do?' sets in...it's a real LULL in your emotions and is difficult to explain. What I do know is that this is a natural stage in our progress. Everyone experiences it....I describe it below as progressing thru the stages of grief.


As I mentioned to a response to Allan yesterday in his thread....he'd reached his 30 day goal and then felt like a bride coming back from her honeymoon...NOW WHAT? I was explaining to him that breaking free of alcohol is, in effect, ending a relationship. And I mean a long-standing, hard-core, abusive, solid relationship. In essence you are going thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger (what brought you here..."I'm SICK of this crazy life!"), Denial (Maybe I'm not all that bad! What was I thinking? Other people drink as much or MORE than I do' I think this is where the biggest Pity Party is thrown...it comes after the first 2 weeks and before day 30), BARGAINING ( why don't I try to moderate? Other people are able to do it...if I could just have one precious glass of _____ I'd be ok, THEN I'll get right back on track..), Depression (Is THIS all there is? Where are the balloons? Is this as good as it's ever going to get? ' Well shit...'.) and finally, acceptance. Let me tell you, this is where it's at. You finally are able to accept that, NO, you CANNOT drink ....AT ALL. Not one, not ever.....and you are ok with this. This is the stage where you can see AL for what it really is....a DRUG. Some people abuse drugs and some people don't. We do. Each stage in grieving is very important. Once you can see what is going on and that you aren't going crazy, it helps...at least it did for me. What you are going thru is the natural stages of loss. If you stay the course, I promise it will get better....I can also make a promise the other way, too....if we stay on the path we were on....well, you get the picture. I can assure you there will be a day where you don't even think about AL! As hard as it is now....it seems hard to believe. As hardcore as I was, I can now come to the end of an evening and think...I'll be dam, I didn't even think about it. THAT is amazing! You will get there...it just takes some time. Please hang in with us...you can do it! If I can do it, you can too!!! Byrdie

[WineIntoWater]

Tool box

A successful A F night for me is :
1) A good movie with headphones at habitual drinking time. (The movie and the headphones are a cocoon, that keeps me in a safe bubble, away from distraction and away from drink)
2) I avoid looking at the clock during habitual drinking time. It's clock watching that causes problems. Before I know it, it's bedtime and I've missed my drinking time.
3) Eating a snack, or treat at the exact moment of drinking time, or having an early supper. The early supper tricks me into thinking that drinking time has been thwarted in favour of the supper and drinking on a full stomach can be uncomfortable.
4) Drinking lots of non alcoholic drinks during normal drinking time. It takes away that false feeling of 'thirst' and also takes away the 'oral craving' with the physical act of drinking.
5) I need to apply the first four tips more often, because they work !
Most of the time, I really enjoy drink free nights, sometimes a lot more than drinking nights, so I do find it crazy and illogical that I have more drinking nights than non drinking ones ! But, that's about to change. It's No- Drink- Saturday. One day at a time.

[WineIntoWater]

Tool box

A successful A F night for me is :
1) A good movie with headphones at habitual drinking time. (The movie and the headphones are a cocoon, that keeps me in a safe bubble, away from distraction and away from drink)
2) I avoid looking at the clock during habitual drinking time. It's clock watching that causes problems. Before I know it, it's bedtime and I've missed my drinking time.
3) Eating a snack, or treat at the exact moment of drinking time, or having an early supper. The early supper tricks me into thinking that drinking time has been thwarted in favour of the supper and drinking on a full stomach can be uncomfortable.
4) Drinking lots of non alcoholic drinks during normal drinking time. It takes away that false feeling of 'thirst' and also takes away the 'oral craving' with the physical act of drinking.
5) I need to apply the first four tips more often, because they work !
Most of the time, I really enjoy drink free nights, sometimes a lot more than drinking nights, so I do find it crazy and illogical that I have more drinking nights than non drinking ones ! But, that's about to change. It's No- Drink- Saturday. One day at a time.

[WineIntoWater]

Tool box

P. S How could I forget, not having any drink in the house is the biggest tip of all. Yes, that really works !

[WineIntoWater]

Tool box

P. S How could I forget, not having any drink in the house is the biggest tip of all. Yes, that really works !