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[DreamThinkDo]

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Bumpity bump.

Just because!

[NoSugar]

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Excellent Podcast

This podcast clearly explains several important concepts in terms of neurobiology and gives support to much of what is going on on MWO and in particular in the Newbies Nest:
*Why a social group can be so important for overcoming an addiction.
*Why the continuous days of not drinking are critical for recovery.
*Why most people cannot return to "normal" drinking.

There is some scary stuff:
*The physical changes in the brain due to alcohol consumption.
*"Slips" can mean death and should not be dismissed as inevitable or inconsequential.

There are some really encouraging sections, too:
*Recovery is more likely than not.
*Even when there are episodes of drinking interspersed between periods of not drinking, the person has gained, and does not lose, the experience of being a non-drinker.
*Recovery is contagious.

I've seen this in action - when the Nest is full of active posters who are gaining a good number of AF days, they feed on one another's energy. Threads that are full of people who are having success can pull others along. The downside is that the opposite can be true, too, but it is just another reason to engage in a social group that is heading in the direction you want to go.

Anyway, I've listened to this a couple times and am really impressed:

The Bubble Hour

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Special Guest, Dr. John Kelly: Changing the Stigma of Addiction Through Science
Many people think that recovery from drug and alcohol addiction is a lost cause when in reality there are approximately 25-40 million people who consider themselves to be in active, stable long-term recovery. Based on those numbers, most people probably interact with someone in recovery on a daily basis, but they don't even know it because it's not talked about openly. Dr. Kelly and the Recovery Research Institute's mission is change that stigma and show people, through science, that recovery is not only possible, but it is the likely outcome.

[NoSugar]

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Excellent Podcast

This podcast clearly explains several important concepts in terms of neurobiology and gives support to much of what is going on on MWO and in particular in the Newbies Nest:
*Why a social group can be so important for overcoming an addiction.
*Why the continuous days of not drinking are critical for recovery.
*Why most people cannot return to "normal" drinking.

There is some scary stuff:
*The physical changes in the brain due to alcohol consumption.
*"Slips" can mean death and should not be dismissed as inevitable or inconsequential.

There are some really encouraging sections, too:
*Recovery is more likely than not.
*Even when there are episodes of drinking interspersed between periods of not drinking, the person has gained, and does not lose, the experience of being a non-drinker.
*Recovery is contagious.

I've seen this in action - when the Nest is full of active posters who are gaining a good number of AF days, they feed on one another's energy. Threads that are full of people who are having success can pull others along. The downside is that the opposite can be true, too, but it is just another reason to engage in a social group that is heading in the direction you want to go.

Anyway, I've listened to this a couple times and am really impressed:

The Bubble Hour

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Special Guest, Dr. John Kelly: Changing the Stigma of Addiction Through Science
Many people think that recovery from drug and alcohol addiction is a lost cause when in reality there are approximately 25-40 million people who consider themselves to be in active, stable long-term recovery. Based on those numbers, most people probably interact with someone in recovery on a daily basis, but they don't even know it because it's not talked about openly. Dr. Kelly and the Recovery Research Institute's mission is change that stigma and show people, through science, that recovery is not only possible, but it is the likely outcome.

[Pavati]

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We Are Not Unique

I post this a lot around the forum, so I thought I'd leave it here, too. It is a daily ponderable from NA that someone sent me.

"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.

[Pavati]

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We Are Not Unique

I post this a lot around the forum, so I thought I'd leave it here, too. It is a daily ponderable from NA that someone sent me.

"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.

[Pavati]

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Grieving the loss of alcohol

I was reading around the Crying Out Now blog (from the women who do the Bubble Hour podcast?), and someone wrote more about grieving the loss of alcohol. I think it nicely compliments the words of our famous Byrdie:

Heartbreak. Grief. And fear.

I grieved and was heartbroken over the loss of alcohol. I grieved the loss of who I was when drinking actually did work. I grieved the fact that I now identified with a group of people that at one time I judged?at one time I swore I wasn?t one of them. I grieved that I would have to work hard at recovery?because just abstaining from alcohol wasn?t going to be enough for me. I grieved the loss of a part of me.

I feared facing my life without a means to numb and hide from the hard times. I feared that alcoholism really was something that was out of my control. I feared that for me, there would be no turning back once I knew for sure and admitted that I was a true alcoholic.

All of this isn?t to say that there isn?t so much to be gained from sobriety. I have a beautiful, sober life now. But, I write this post for anyone who might think that their feelings of grief and sadness are wrong. You need to feel what you feel. And if you feel grief about getting sober that?s okay. I?ve been one to over-think almost everything and this is one of them. I?ve made up that it has to mean something if I feel sad about it all. Am I headed for relapse? Shouldn?t I always feel happy now that I?m sober? Fear and grief are real feelings that we all feel. In my experience, having a spiritual connection has greatly reduced these feelings and I still turn to that connection every time I feel fear and grief come up. But, I remember in early sobriety, they were quite common feelings.

So if you?re in those early days please believe me that all of your feelings are normal.

And that it does get better.

I DO think I am grieving that fun me that I think I lost (but is really here, just under a few layers). It took me a while to realize WHY I would be sad to be sober, but I think she said it well. I am happy to be sober, too. Very happy, and I never want to go back to where I was. I am just sometimes confused not to be jumping for joy at every turn. I might be in that fake it stage as well (just over four months...)

[Pavati]

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Grieving the loss of alcohol

I was reading around the Crying Out Now blog (from the women who do the Bubble Hour podcast?), and someone wrote more about grieving the loss of alcohol. I think it nicely compliments the words of our famous Byrdie:

Heartbreak. Grief. And fear.

I grieved and was heartbroken over the loss of alcohol. I grieved the loss of who I was when drinking actually did work. I grieved the fact that I now identified with a group of people that at one time I judged?at one time I swore I wasn?t one of them. I grieved that I would have to work hard at recovery?because just abstaining from alcohol wasn?t going to be enough for me. I grieved the loss of a part of me.

I feared facing my life without a means to numb and hide from the hard times. I feared that alcoholism really was something that was out of my control. I feared that for me, there would be no turning back once I knew for sure and admitted that I was a true alcoholic.

All of this isn?t to say that there isn?t so much to be gained from sobriety. I have a beautiful, sober life now. But, I write this post for anyone who might think that their feelings of grief and sadness are wrong. You need to feel what you feel. And if you feel grief about getting sober that?s okay. I?ve been one to over-think almost everything and this is one of them. I?ve made up that it has to mean something if I feel sad about it all. Am I headed for relapse? Shouldn?t I always feel happy now that I?m sober? Fear and grief are real feelings that we all feel. In my experience, having a spiritual connection has greatly reduced these feelings and I still turn to that connection every time I feel fear and grief come up. But, I remember in early sobriety, they were quite common feelings.

So if you?re in those early days please believe me that all of your feelings are normal.

And that it does get better.

I DO think I am grieving that fun me that I think I lost (but is really here, just under a few layers). It took me a while to realize WHY I would be sad to be sober, but I think she said it well. I am happy to be sober, too. Very happy, and I never want to go back to where I was. I am just sometimes confused not to be jumping for joy at every turn. I might be in that fake it stage as well (just over four months...)

[available]

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Bryd has asked me to post this. This is how much better life gets without al intruding into it daily.

Today i was a mess, overtired, jetlagged and a total cow. I even had to apologise to the boys for my bitchiness, they were amazed and stunned that i apologised as before i just yelled and thought they deserved it. Now my drinking haze and days are no longer around i can realise my behaviour was not their fault, i was tired. I cancelled my early pre dinner bday with my children but i have 4 stubborn kids who didnt listen. They let me sleep and when i woke there were my 4 precious, adorable children that said there was no way i was waking up on my 50th without them there. We ate pizza, drank cups of tea and had a wonderful night. They are so proud of my sobriety and having a holiday with mum sober also. We joked about my having a wine to celebrate and that was all it was a joke and i say to them now "one glass for an alcoholic mother wont do it" and they know i am an alcoholic and the support they have given has been a blessing each and everyday.

My sober holiday mended a lot of bridges with my mother, i came to the realisation that i was 90% of our problems, or al was 90%. For 77 years my mum has tried her best and i held every grudge known to mankind with her. When i now take on board that she is what she is and that is my mum then its not hard anymore. She has more to forgive me for than i have to forgive her for but now i will do my damn hardest to be the best daughter that she deserves.

No-one needs al in their lives, it hurts your loved ones, it hurts you, it destroys what you hold dear as it is a barrier to truly being ones self and we are not bad people, we are us with so much to give sober.

[available]

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Bryd has asked me to post this. This is how much better life gets without al intruding into it daily.

Today i was a mess, overtired, jetlagged and a total cow. I even had to apologise to the boys for my bitchiness, they were amazed and stunned that i apologised as before i just yelled and thought they deserved it. Now my drinking haze and days are no longer around i can realise my behaviour was not their fault, i was tired. I cancelled my early pre dinner bday with my children but i have 4 stubborn kids who didnt listen. They let me sleep and when i woke there were my 4 precious, adorable children that said there was no way i was waking up on my 50th without them there. We ate pizza, drank cups of tea and had a wonderful night. They are so proud of my sobriety and having a holiday with mum sober also. We joked about my having a wine to celebrate and that was all it was a joke and i say to them now "one glass for an alcoholic mother wont do it" and they know i am an alcoholic and the support they have given has been a blessing each and everyday.

My sober holiday mended a lot of bridges with my mother, i came to the realisation that i was 90% of our problems, or al was 90%. For 77 years my mum has tried her best and i held every grudge known to mankind with her. When i now take on board that she is what she is and that is my mum then its not hard anymore. She has more to forgive me for than i have to forgive her for but now i will do my damn hardest to be the best daughter that she deserves.

No-one needs al in their lives, it hurts your loved ones, it hurts you, it destroys what you hold dear as it is a barrier to truly being ones self and we are not bad people, we are us with so much to give sober.

[available]

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It's been so long since we've touched and since I've held you. I can remember how you smell and taste, but it doesn't bring the memories I thought it would. I thought I was so in love with you...I thought I needed you so very badly, but now when I think about you, I only think about the deceit, the lies, the hate, the hurt, and the disease."

I drank for joy and became miserable.

I drank to be outgoing and became self centered.

I drank to be sociable and became lonely.

I drank for friendship and made enemies.

I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.

I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.

I drank for strength and felt weak.

I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

I drank for confidence and felt unsure

I drank for courage and became afraid

I drank for assurance and became doubtful

I drank to forget thoughts and had blackouts

I drank for conversation and tied my tongue

I drank to be in heaven and I came to know @#!*%

I drank to forget and became haunted

I drank for freedom and became a slave (of alcohol)

I drank to ease problems and saw them multiply

I drank to cope with life and invited death.

I drank because I had the "right" to and everything turned out wrong.

Said this fellow, "It must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in this shape?

I said, "Just one. For me one is too many and a thousand isn't enough."

This was posted on the Newbies Nest a couple of years ago, no credit to me at all but this really says it all about al.

[available]

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It's been so long since we've touched and since I've held you. I can remember how you smell and taste, but it doesn't bring the memories I thought it would. I thought I was so in love with you...I thought I needed you so very badly, but now when I think about you, I only think about the deceit, the lies, the hate, the hurt, and the disease."

I drank for joy and became miserable.

I drank to be outgoing and became self centered.

I drank to be sociable and became lonely.

I drank for friendship and made enemies.

I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.

I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.

I drank for strength and felt weak.

I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

I drank for confidence and felt unsure

I drank for courage and became afraid

I drank for assurance and became doubtful

I drank to forget thoughts and had blackouts

I drank for conversation and tied my tongue

I drank to be in heaven and I came to know @#!*%

I drank to forget and became haunted

I drank for freedom and became a slave (of alcohol)

I drank to ease problems and saw them multiply

I drank to cope with life and invited death.

I drank because I had the "right" to and everything turned out wrong.

Said this fellow, "It must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in this shape?

I said, "Just one. For me one is too many and a thousand isn't enough."

This was posted on the Newbies Nest a couple of years ago, no credit to me at all but this really says it all about al.

[frances]

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Thanks for this post Ava - so true! And so nice to hear about how your relationships have changed since going AF - what a wonderful testament for others to hear!

[frances]

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Thanks for this post Ava - so true! And so nice to hear about how your relationships have changed since going AF - what a wonderful testament for others to hear!

[suziQ2014]

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thank you wip, from a newbie...

Feeling pretty down and your advice on a plan gives me hope.

[suziQ2014]

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thank you wip, from a newbie...

Feeling pretty down and your advice on a plan gives me hope.