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    Ava, That post about your mom was so nice! I know exactly what you mean about AL effecting your relationship.
    My husband and I went to counselling because we kept on fighting and wanted to know how to deal with our anger. We spent a schwack of money on counselling and ALL we had to do was QUIT DRINKING!!
    If our counsellor would have said that, I know we would not have agreed and we would have got another counsellor. Yup, we get along way better now that booze is out of the picture.

    Ava, I am sure your mom is really happy about the change in your relationship. That story is very touching. How lucky you both are to have figured this out before it was too late.
    Narilly

    "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
    "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

    AF April 12, 2014

    Comment


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      Ava, That post about your mom was so nice! I know exactly what you mean about AL effecting your relationship.
      My husband and I went to counselling because we kept on fighting and wanted to know how to deal with our anger. We spent a schwack of money on counselling and ALL we had to do was QUIT DRINKING!!
      If our counsellor would have said that, I know we would not have agreed and we would have got another counsellor. Yup, we get along way better now that booze is out of the picture.

      Ava, I am sure your mom is really happy about the change in your relationship. That story is very touching. How lucky you both are to have figured this out before it was too late.
      Narilly

      "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
      "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

      AF April 12, 2014

      Comment


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        available;1652579 wrote: It's been so long since we've touched and since I've held you. I can remember how you smell and taste, but it doesn't bring the memories I thought it would. I thought I was so in love with you...I thought I needed you so very badly, but now when I think about you, I only think about the deceit, the lies, the hate, the hurt, and the disease."

        I drank for joy and became miserable.

        I drank to be outgoing and became self centered.

        I drank to be sociable and became lonely.

        I drank for friendship and made enemies.

        I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.

        I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.

        I drank for strength and felt weak.

        I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

        I drank for confidence and felt unsure

        I drank for courage and became afraid

        I drank for assurance and became doubtful

        I drank to forget thoughts and had blackouts

        I drank for conversation and tied my tongue

        I drank to be in heaven and I came to know @#!*%

        I drank to forget and became haunted

        I drank for freedom and became a slave (of alcohol)

        I drank to ease problems and saw them multiply

        I drank to cope with life and invited death.

        I drank because I had the "right" to and everything turned out wrong.

        Said this fellow, "It must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in this shape?

        I said, "Just one. For me one is too many and a thousand isn't enough."

        This was posted on the Newbies Nest a couple of years ago, no credit to me at all but this really says it all about al.
        Amazing! this one is great! Good job ava.
        Alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
        Alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
        Alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

        Comment


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          available;1652579 wrote: It's been so long since we've touched and since I've held you. I can remember how you smell and taste, but it doesn't bring the memories I thought it would. I thought I was so in love with you...I thought I needed you so very badly, but now when I think about you, I only think about the deceit, the lies, the hate, the hurt, and the disease."

          I drank for joy and became miserable.

          I drank to be outgoing and became self centered.

          I drank to be sociable and became lonely.

          I drank for friendship and made enemies.

          I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.

          I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.

          I drank for strength and felt weak.

          I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

          I drank for confidence and felt unsure

          I drank for courage and became afraid

          I drank for assurance and became doubtful

          I drank to forget thoughts and had blackouts

          I drank for conversation and tied my tongue

          I drank to be in heaven and I came to know @#!*%

          I drank to forget and became haunted

          I drank for freedom and became a slave (of alcohol)

          I drank to ease problems and saw them multiply

          I drank to cope with life and invited death.

          I drank because I had the "right" to and everything turned out wrong.

          Said this fellow, "It must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in this shape?

          I said, "Just one. For me one is too many and a thousand isn't enough."

          This was posted on the Newbies Nest a couple of years ago, no credit to me at all but this really says it all about al.
          Amazing! this one is great! Good job ava.
          Alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
          Alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
          Alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

          Comment


            Tool box

            What is a Plan?

            I posted this in the Newbie's Nest a few days ago...thought it may help someone who is trying to outline a Plan for going AF.

            FF, I learned in a hurry that 'winging it' wasn't really a strategy. Wishing and hoping didn't do it. I had to come up with some IRON CLADS.

            Get all the booze out of my space.
            Get my story down, what will I say when offered?
            What am I going to do with all this extra time?
            How am I going to keep my mind occupied when it 'goes there'?
            What am I going to do if it gets BAD?
            Who can I reach out to to help me get thru a craving?
            Adopt an attitude of gratitude (I am not missing out, I am saving my life).
            List the things you have left undone as a result of drinking and plan to do them!
            Adopt a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY. Not one, not ever! This takes the choice off the table. This actually did more to help me than anything else. Having AL is NON NEGOTIABLE.
            Stay accountable to MWO.

            This is what it took for me to get my act together. So far so good.
            If you are struggling....struggle no more! Take the choice off the table! Do not let AL claim one more day of your life! It IS worth it. It took me a long time to get here, but I wouldn't take anything for my sober life now! Who'da thought I would say that!!??? Stick with it, we all know going back is a dead end, in more ways than one! Hang in, no matter what!!!
            Byrdie
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
            Tool Box
            Newbie's Nest

            Comment


              Tool box

              What is a Plan?

              I posted this in the Newbie's Nest a few days ago...thought it may help someone who is trying to outline a Plan for going AF.

              FF, I learned in a hurry that 'winging it' wasn't really a strategy. Wishing and hoping didn't do it. I had to come up with some IRON CLADS.

              Get all the booze out of my space.
              Get my story down, what will I say when offered?
              What am I going to do with all this extra time?
              How am I going to keep my mind occupied when it 'goes there'?
              What am I going to do if it gets BAD?
              Who can I reach out to to help me get thru a craving?
              Adopt an attitude of gratitude (I am not missing out, I am saving my life).
              List the things you have left undone as a result of drinking and plan to do them!
              Adopt a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY. Not one, not ever! This takes the choice off the table. This actually did more to help me than anything else. Having AL is NON NEGOTIABLE.
              Stay accountable to MWO.

              This is what it took for me to get my act together. So far so good.
              If you are struggling....struggle no more! Take the choice off the table! Do not let AL claim one more day of your life! It IS worth it. It took me a long time to get here, but I wouldn't take anything for my sober life now! Who'da thought I would say that!!??? Stick with it, we all know going back is a dead end, in more ways than one! Hang in, no matter what!!!
              Byrdie
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
              Tool Box
              Newbie's Nest

              Comment


                Tool box

                Since I'm inspired today I'm gonna write something.

                alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
                alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
                alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

                I hope you like it
                Alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
                Alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
                Alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

                Comment


                  Tool box

                  Since I'm inspired today I'm gonna write something.

                  alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
                  alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
                  alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

                  I hope you like it
                  Alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
                  Alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
                  Alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

                  Comment


                    Tool box

                    Love it, Marty!
                    For a very new-timer, you're a really good rhymer!! Beautiful and heartfelt! B
                    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                    Tool Box
                    Newbie's Nest

                    Comment


                      Tool box

                      Love it, Marty!
                      For a very new-timer, you're a really good rhymer!! Beautiful and heartfelt! B
                      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                      Tool Box
                      Newbie's Nest

                      Comment


                        Tool box

                        Byrdlady;1656350 wrote: Love it, Marty!
                        For a very new-timer, you're a really good rhymer!! Beautiful and heartfelt! B
                        thanks mate I am really inspired.
                        Alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
                        Alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
                        Alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

                        Comment


                          Tool box

                          Byrdlady;1656350 wrote: Love it, Marty!
                          For a very new-timer, you're a really good rhymer!! Beautiful and heartfelt! B
                          thanks mate I am really inspired.
                          Alcohol will hit you bad but you can always turn your back
                          Alcohol can bring a lot of misery but there is a solution because it's not a mystery
                          Alcohol will give you pleasure but in the future it will give you pain that you cannot treasure

                          Comment


                            Tool box

                            Came across something I thought I'd add -

                            http://www.buddhistrecovery.org/docs..._addiction.pdf
                            “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb

                            "See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.

                            Newbies Nest
                            Newbies Nest Roll Call
                            Toolbox
                            Cattleman Cafe

                            Comment


                              Tool box

                              Came across something I thought I'd add -

                              Buddhist Recovery Network :: Under Construction
                              “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb

                              "See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.

                              Newbies Nest
                              Newbies Nest Roll Call
                              Toolbox
                              Cattleman Cafe

                              Comment


                                Tool box

                                Recovery is contagious


                                William White
                                Recovery is Contagious

                                Many of us in this room know that addiction is contagious. Addiction was not a purpose we set out to achieve. We grew up in a world that castigated people with drug problems as dope fiends, crack heads, drunks, winos, and worse. None of us wrote an essay in 5th grade saying we wanted to be an addict when we grew up. One day in our lives, we chose to pick up, but we didn?t choose what followed. None of us wanted to so wound ourselves and those we love. We tried but could not prevent that harm from happening. Our addiction was not a choice; it was something we got caught up in and lost control over. Addiction is a disease of exposure?a collision between personal vulnerability and social opportunity. And that opportunity is often bred within psychological and social circumstances that made picking up again and again an attractive choice.

                                As a culture, we have recognized this process of social contagion. We have long referred to surges in alcohol and other drug problems as epidemics?a term most often applied to communicable diseases. But I am not here tonight to talk about disease. I am here to talk about recovery?something we rarely think of in terms of contagion. We usually think of recovery as something that arises from deep inside someone. We think of it as those rare transformative experiences like Bill Wilson experienced in a hospital room and Malcolm X experienced in a jail cell, or we think of it as a slow process of internal change?a process of spiritual awakening.

                                Folk wisdom says recovery comes only when we hit our own personal bottom. But recovery did not come to some of you in this room by hitting bottom. Some of you lived on the bottom, and recovery remained a stranger. Some of you were drowning in pain, had lost everything but your life to addiction?and recovery still did not come. When it finally arrived, it wasn?t forced on you and you didn't initially choose it. You caught recovery in spite of yourself. And you caught it from other people in recovery?from people here at NET and from people in the recovery fellowships meeting every day throughout this city.

                                Let me be clear and brutally honest. Some of you did not come to NET seeking recovery. Many of you had never even seen long-term recovery in the flesh?had no idea what it even looked like. Many of you came to treatment not because of the monkey on your back, but the people on your butt. Some of you came looking not for recovery but respite?a break from the life, not an end to it. Some of you came to escape the threat of jail. Some of you came to keep or get back important people in your life. The reasons were many and may have changed every day, but recovery was not at the top of that list. And yet many of you have started what will be a lifelong recovery journey. So how did this miracle happen?

                                My message tonight is a simple one: Recovery is contagious. That message is the centerpiece of the recovery revolution sparked by the leadership Dr. Arthur Evans, Jr. brought to the City of Philadelphia more than five years ago. That message is what has made NET one of the leading treatment centers in the country. And there is no better example of this process than what is happening right here, right now. This night is a celebration of the contagiousness of recovery and the fulfilled promises recovery has brought into our lives. Some of you did not leave the streets to find recovery; recovery came to the streets and found you. And it did so through volunteers of the NET Consumer Council walking those streets. They put a face and voice on recovery. They told you that recovery was possible, and they offered their stories as living proof of that proposition. They told you they would walk the road to recovery with you. Some of you hit low points in the early days of that journey, and it was your brothers and sisters in this room that lifted you back up?who called when you missed group, who, in some cases, went and got you. Many of you were buried deep within a culture of addiction?a way of thinking, feeling, acting, and relating as powerful as the drugs you were taking. The NET community and the larger recovery community of Philadelphia helped you escape and welcomed you into membership in another world?a culture of recovery. And this moment we are sharing together tonight stands as witness to the vitality of that recovery culture.

                                Recovery is contagious only through interpersonal connection?only in the context of community. For those still in the life to find hope and recovery, they must take the unlikely risk of leaving their cocooned world or we must risk going to get them. The outreach work of the NET Consumer Council has a poignant message for this country?s efforts to prevent and treat addiction. If we are really serious about addiction, then we should reach those who are at early stages of their addiction careers and not wait until decades of devastation finally bring them to the doors of a treatment center. We need to correct the community conditions in which addiction flourishes. We need to protect those most vulnerable to addiction. We need assertive intervention programs that shorten addiction careers and extend recovery careers. To achieve those goals, we must carry resilience and recovery into the very heart of local drug cultures. We must make the transformative potential of recovery visible to those who need it the most.

                                The contagion of addiction is transmitted through a process of infection?the movement of addiction disease from one vulnerable person to another. The contagion of recovery is spread quite differently?not through infection, but affection.1 Those who spread such affection are recovery carriers. Recovery carriers?because of the nature of their character and the quality of their lives ?exert a magnetic attraction to those who are still suffering. Recovery carriers affirm that long-term recovery is possible and that the promises of recovery are far more than the removal of drugs from an otherwise unchanged life. They tell us that we have the potential to get well and to then get better than well. They challenge us to stop being everyone?s problem and to become part of the solution. They relate to us from a position of profound empathy, emotional authenticity, respect and moral equality?lacking even a whisper of contempt. Most importantly, they offer us love. Yeah, some of us got loved into recovery, and I don't mean in the way some of you with smiles on your faces may be thinking. The affection at the heart of the recovery community you have created here at NET is being extended as a force for building resistance, resilience, and recovery within the larger Philadelphia community and beyond.

                                We all have the potential to be recovery carriers. Becoming a recovery carrier requires several things. It requires that we protect our recoveries at all cost?Recovery by any means necessary under any circumstances. It requires that we help our families recover. It requires the courage to reach out to those whose lives are being ravaged. It requires that we give back to NET and other organizations that helped us along the way. And it requires that in our new life, we try to heal the wounds we inflicted on our community in our past life.

                                Addiction is visible everywhere in this culture, but the transformative power of recovery is hidden behind closed doors. It is time we all became recovery carriers. It is time we helped our community, our nation, and our world recover. To achieve this, we must become recovery. We must be the face and voice of recovery. We must be the living future of recovery.

                                So to all who are here tonight?individuals and families in recovery and allies of recovery, I leave you with this message. Recovery is contagious. Get close to it. Stay close to it. Catch it. Keep catching it. Pass it on.

                                1 I wish to acknowledge Kathy Griffin, who first brought this distinction to my attention

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