Bf brought his family into this

[christyacc]

Bf brought his family into this

I know the side effects might be difficult to handle, but most say they disappear within a month. Don't give up!!! I just finally received my Topa today and took my first dose this afternoon. I may feel as crappy as you do now in 3 days, but I know that the possibility of it vanishing is so much better than the alternative, hungover.

PM me any time....ps. love the avatar! Adorable.....what is it about Golden's that is so trusting they will let you do anything to them? lol

[thirdsister]

Bf brought his family into this

Chiizus,
Good for you for holding back on the come back comment to your boyfriend. That shows a lot of self-control and maturity.
I haven't been on MWO for about a week and just saw that you started your supps and went through your detox week. Hope you were able to get through the crummy side effects.
I'm rooting for you!!
Thirdsister

[chiizus]

Bf brought his family into this

Well, I'm starting all over again today. For some stupid reason I gave in yesterday and drank. That made last night and today extra hard to deal with because bf won't let it go.

I've been busting butt cleaning the house inside out today so I'll feel a little less worthless. *sigh*

[chiizus]

Bf brought his family into this

Every day bf is nasty towards me, even when I haven't drank in days. He'll be happy and lovey one minute and then come home from work mad because he said he was worried all day that I was drinking. And even when I'm not, he's still mad. He calls me relentlessly anytime I go out with a friend. He'll keep calling 100 times over if I don't answer for some reason. He actually just showed up once when I was out with a friend to "check on" me. It's humiliating. He says I deserve it and that I'll just have to get over it because this is what I have to deal with to earn his trust back. He's making me miserable almost every day. And he says well I deserve it because he's miserable and sick of worrying.

I don't know what to do. I just want our relationship to be like it used to. This is all going on because of my "slip" last week. Maybe he was right when he said I "ruined everything".

[A Work in Progress]

Bf brought his family into this

chiizus, I have noticed that nearly all your posts here are about your bf. This is a "bf" right, not husband, not fiance? Are you living together? Seems that you are really obsessed with him, and what he's doing and saying, and he (from what you are saying) seems really obsessed with you, and your behavior... All this obsessing, yours and his, does not seem healthy, at all, and certainly seems to be much more of a focus for you, than your alcohol problem. What are your thoughts about that?

wip

[chiizus]

Bf brought his family into this

He's my bf. We were almost engaged once when things were good. We've lived together for 4 years.

I know the obsessing isn't healthy, but I don't know how to escape it. And I don't want to lose him.

[A Work in Progress]

Bf brought his family into this

Well, I'd strongly suggest counseling. This (the boyfriend issue) is not the kind of thing you can get advice about here on an online forum, or rather you CAN get advice, but without one-on-one counseling with a professional person, it isn't likely to do you much good, in my opinion... But, again, if you are not focusing on your alcohol problem, you certainly are going to "lose" him, not to mention losing anything else worthwhile in your life...

[Three F's]

Bf brought his family into this

Very good point WIP

Good point WIP. You've obviously been 'taking a back seat' for a short time whilst reading with interest and noticed the lack of the word 'alcohol' for some time now! That's the reason that I admire you. You analyse the entire situation before commenting..........and always make 'sober sense being an outsider'. Although I've got no room to talk at the moment due to still being 'controlled by the bottle' as regards to alcohol, I can see exactly where you're coming from. PLEASE listen and take heed of what WIP has to say!!! It's the alcohol that's the issue here. Once this has been resolved your relationship will improve no end! Good luck to you X

[sashha41]

Bf brought his family into this

Chiizus - You said you do not want to lose your boyfriend. How very sad. He is as toxic as the alcohol. I also suggest counseling as did others, but not "couples" counseling... just counseling for you to break free from toxic, self-destructive situations. I do not know you, but please believe I say that with respect and genuine concern.

Regards,
Sashha

[Waiting for his way out]

Bf brought his family into this

Chiizus, did you find the book? "Co-Dependent No More" this is the book he must read. I (unpopular as this may be) fully understand his behavior, I had the same behavior, really I did. I cannot explain to you how he feels and why he does this, other than he has lost all trust and he is hurting from everything that has happened in the past. He wishes he could make it all go away, he feels powerless against AL. He is thinking how can you choose AL over him? Can you try to see that? He is behaving badly, no doubt. But he may have reasons and issues that HE needs help resolving? Thus the book I mentioned above. There is also another book called "you are difficult to live with"
Like others said, you must take care of yourself first and things will get better with or without him.

[nancy]

Bf brought his family into this

Hi there

I said from the begininning that the control issues were really important. I get the drift that he has some financial control over you, so you feel indebted. What a gift to a controlling person.


You can look at alcohol at the same time as the relationship issues. Maybe see a counsellor? But really, what you can do now is stand up for yourself. Stand up for yourself and he will respect you, regardless of what his mother says.

If you want to let him control you, fine, but you won't progress and will be back here with the same complaints next week.

Nancy