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    My story in short

    My father was an alchoholick, life was awful growing up. He died in a plane crash when i was 12, and home violence came to an end with it.

    I Married young at 18, he was to be my safe haven forever, my hero, my protector, my teacher of life, my friend, and i was going to raise the perfect family.

    The first signs of aggression started when i was expecting our first child. Late nights and drinking sprees became more and more frequent,i started blaming myself, taking it upon me to fix it, He walked in and out of jobs and As cruel as life was and just keept handing them down, i fell pregnant with a fourth child that he did not want and had to abort, never allowing me to talk or get counseling for it.

    Eventually he stopped looking for work. His mother supported his drinking habits, and I had no right to question it, my self confidence dropped to a total zero. I found work, and slowly started picking up the pieces, till one nite the violence saw me hospitalized and i decided it was over and walked out of the 16 year marriage.

    Raising my children single handed, life was supposed to be good,i was financially stable, bought a home, and independent then evil strikes again when my youngest daughter is raped. The drinking starts, its taking the pain and frustrations away, and becoming uncontrolled.

    Another good man walks into my life again, we marry in 2005 but he's not financially capable of looking after me - arguments start, most of all my drinking is the problem, he walks out.

    My drinking has become a violent friend, an uncontrolled drug, and i now target my children, the people i love the most have become prey of my problem.
    Please help!

    #2
    My story in short

    Thanks for taking the time to share your story cloudy. Like you, drink was the root of all my problems. The only way I was able to learn new thinking and handle my life better was to abstain totally. It's the only way for me.

    Violence seems to be a big part of your life past and present and I hope you are able to gain some peace of mind in the future without in interfering in your life again. Some very sad stories you've told and I commend you for opening up.

    I wish you every success with your goals and being here and taking steps is probably one of the best steps you will make. Without the friends here I would be still searching for my dreams in the bottom of a bottle.

    Love and Happiness
    Hippie
    xx
    "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
    Clean and sober 25th January 2009

    Comment


      #3
      My story in short

      Hi Cloudy - while your story is heartbreaking, it seems to me that you are a very brave and Strong woman! You have kept on keeping on, which is half the fight.

      But, when you say AL is a "violent friend", do you mean YOU are violent...? Either way, it really may do some good to talk to a counselor. It seems you have some unresolved issues (as most of us do!) that could be helped by talking them out with someone trained to listen.

      You're here, though. And that's a very GOOD thing. It sounds like you're ready to start dealing with the Beast!!
      Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

      Comment


        #4
        My story in short

        Cloudy, thanks for telling us about your life. Some very, very difficult situations. It's good that you are reaching out for help. One of the best things you can do right now is to read the MWO book; you can buy it here for download to your computer, or to be sent to you in the mail. It will tell you a lot about the MWO program. You will also want to spend time here reading what other people have written about how they have overcome serious drinking problems. The most important aspects of the program are: the determination to change; a good, solid plan for change; and asking for help when you need it.

        Please ask questions, and keep us posted about how you are doing, OK?

        wip

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          #5
          My story in short

          Cloudy, Your story is indeed a sad one. Glad you found MYO. Use us as your support. You mention in your letter that your husband is not financially able to care for you. You need to take care of You - and your Children- do you work? Unfortunately every member on our sight is in the same boat- And we all know that No one can solve your drinking problems but you. I have learned from everyone at this sight that you Have to look forward, and try to forget the past- forgive yourself first- and move ahead. There is time to make your life a happy one. We are here for you
          DLW
          Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
          And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



          • Yesterday is History
            Today is a Mystery
            Tomorrow is a GIFT

          Comment


            #6
            My story in short

            People here are incredibly kind and caring and every single one drinks or used to anyways so they understand that part of it. I do know a person cannot think straight about anything doing drinking (which is the goal or at least my goal I should say). Sometimes I did not want to think about the various problems which made things get even worse. Anyway people here will be interested and they will help as much as possible so I hope you stay and participate. You must be pretty tough to have survived and smart to find this place.

            Comment


              #7
              My story in short

              Hi Cloudy, your story made me so sad thinking of all the challenges you have faced. i am new to this site but absolutely know that there are people here who are really going to help you find the right path.
              much love, peace, courage and strength to you as you move from this point into the positive
              pixie
              x
              I found myself on the roof of the world just waiting for to get my wings - The Waterboys

              Comment


                #8
                My story in short

                Cloudy, I applaud your courage to seek help. You have come to the right place.
                Reading the book MWO was the beginning of my journey to a new life, a life without AL.
                Looking forward to seeing more of you on the boards:-)
                "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                Comment


                  #9
                  My story in short

                  Welcome, cloudy! :welcome:

                  Your story is so sad, thank you for sharing. As has already been posted, you must be an incredibly strong woman to stand up to the AL demon and come here to share your story.
                  We are here for you. Please get the MWO book, it changed my life. AL controlled most of my life and now I'm getting control back. Please keep posting, you'll find us a very supportive bunch. :l

                  Becoming
                  "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

                  Comment


                    #10
                    My story in short

                    Welcome Cloudy, and thanks for sharing your story.
                    We are glad you found us and we are here to help and support you any way we can.
                    Please read the My Way Out book, it has so much information.
                    Best wishes to you.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      My story in short

                      Cloudy, Welcome. You deserve a safe haven, and MWO is that for us. PLEASE stay with us, talk to us, when you think of drink, come here. Children are resiliant, but stop this cycle now of AL and violence. You do not want to see it passed to another generation. You must be a strong woman, to have survived your past. We're here for you, a whole big family. People are loving, gentle, caring, and will never, ever tell you anything is you're fault. Yesterday is over. We can only learn from it. But we do have today, and hopes for tomorrow. You are very welcome here. Maybe one day you will be Sunny again!
                      sigpic
                      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        My story in short

                        I haven't yet found the courage to seek a counselor for face to face meeting.... But want to thank you ALL, your kindness are like "the rain drops in a very thirsty desert " 5 days sober today and the warmth I find here helps replenish the strength.
                        THANK YOU
                        Cloudy

                        Comment


                          #13
                          My story in short

                          Hello and a big Welcome to you Cloudy... Ditto what everyone has said..Good luck! G.

                          'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                          Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                          Comment


                            #14
                            My story in short

                            hi cloudy welcom,this is as they all say a safe place,lot of knowledge,read and listen,i do hope you stick around,gyco

                            Comment


                              #15
                              My story in short

                              So glad to see you around again today cloudy!
                              5 days sober is fantastic news, very well done!!! Seeing a counsellor is something you can do in your own time. I find it helps a lot not to pressurise myself but to teach myself to encourage myself, mostly by being here! Just concentrate on staying steady now & post a new thread any time you need a quick response.
                              You & I must have quit around the same time. Feel free to PM me anytime (private message. Just click on someone's name on a post they've made & you'll find the option there)
                              Please keep us posted whatever happens.
                              Stay close
                              Gold
                              :sun:

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