I Married young at 18, he was to be my safe haven forever, my hero, my protector, my teacher of life, my friend, and i was going to raise the perfect family.
The first signs of aggression started when i was expecting our first child. Late nights and drinking sprees became more and more frequent,i started blaming myself, taking it upon me to fix it, He walked in and out of jobs and As cruel as life was and just keept handing them down, i fell pregnant with a fourth child that he did not want and had to abort, never allowing me to talk or get counseling for it.
Eventually he stopped looking for work. His mother supported his drinking habits, and I had no right to question it, my self confidence dropped to a total zero. I found work, and slowly started picking up the pieces, till one nite the violence saw me hospitalized and i decided it was over and walked out of the 16 year marriage.
Raising my children single handed, life was supposed to be good,i was financially stable, bought a home, and independent then evil strikes again when my youngest daughter is raped. The drinking starts, its taking the pain and frustrations away, and becoming uncontrolled.
Another good man walks into my life again, we marry in 2005 but he's not financially capable of looking after me - arguments start, most of all my drinking is the problem, he walks out.
My drinking has become a violent friend, an uncontrolled drug, and i now target my children, the people i love the most have become prey of my problem.
Please help!
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