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    A change must be made.

    Hello everyone...I am a newbie here and found this site while googling alcoholism this morning...I have spent all day reading over a great portion of the posts and I think that this is exactly what I need to help myself get my life back under my control. I need to start somewhere...

    I'm sure my story is not a whole lot different than many others, but I get this feeling that if I get it off my chest and out there in the open it may enable me to slowly gain back some of my pride and dignity. I am on a soul search for the strong, independent woman I used to be and I am bound and determined to find her again. I am tired of empty promises and hurting those I hold so near and dear to my heart. It's amazing how much that liquid can transform me from a good-hearted person into a monster. I am in love with my soul mate and I can't even tell you how many times within the past three months I have torn him to pieces with my words because I got carried away and drank half a bottle of alcohol. I don't understand why he is still by my side, but nevertheless he is and he says that he is not giving up on me. He is going to help me regain my control, just as he did. He used to be just like me...get messed up beyond all recognition every night. The faith he has in me certainly gives me hope and I will get the ball back in my court and be the one who calls the shots...I will not let alcohol destroy my life. It's been two years strong that I have been drinking like it's going out of style...the longest I remained sober in the past two years was for 2 weeks, and then I don't know what happened...I lost it again. I was feeling awesome...so much happier...you would think that right there is enough motivation to stay off the stuff, or to at least not take it to the extremes like I did.

    I know good and well that if I don't change my ways I will drive my love away even though he says nothing could tear us apart. That man has a heart of gold. And between blogging on here as part of my daily routine and having him in my life I think my chances are good I will get this thing under wraps. I am very hopeful. I am going to shut up for now so I can continue reading through more posts...thank God I found this site. I have a feeling I am going to become close with a lot of people on here.

    Have a blessed day everyone.

    #2
    A change must be made.

    Kabg ~ welcome! Finding this site saved me from myself. Every day I am grateful to have found my way out. I wish the same for you. So glad to have you with us!:welcome:
    You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

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      #3
      A change must be made.

      Hi KABG - I found this site by accident too, in august and it has helped me so much. I am finally getting my life back in order. Stay with us, it is a great place to be.
      It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

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        #4
        A change must be made.

        Welcome klove! Like Zeppie I found this great resource a couple months ago. After a lot of ups and downs I'm on day 15 Alcohol Free now, with great hopes of moderating after my 30 days, and spending the rest of my life with sobriety and control.

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          #5
          A change must be made.

          Hello and Welcome
          I found this site the same way that you did. I was quite desperate. The people here have been amazing. It was suggested that I read the MWO book, and develop a plan. That was great advice, so just thought I would pass it along. Nice to have you here.
          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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            #6
            A change must be made.

            Thank you all so much! I feel so loved by getting Welcome Aboard messages already! I think this blogging and posting is going to become a new, healthier addiction! It's awesome! Hey BossMan...the plan you just described for yourself is exactly what I will be trying...I have faith in us!

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              #7
              A change must be made.

              Hiya KA, welcome. I am another who stumbled across this site purely by accident one desperate day. It sounds like this is just what you need right now.
              Looking forward to getting to know you!
              Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
              Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

              Comment


                #8
                A change must be made.

                Hi KABG! Welcome aboard!

                You comments are familiar, the words like knives to their heart when speaking to your dearests when drinking, and assuming if you're anything like I WAS (hopeful to keep that WAS there!!!) it was just to make them hurt as much as I was inside.

                I too fiound this place by chance, and am so happy I did. EVERYONE here is wonderful and someone is always here to help, no matter what time of day or night.

                Glad you found us!
                "Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

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                  #9
                  A change must be made.

                  Welcome!!!

                  Very pleased to meet you K :welcome:

                  Sounds as if many of us found ourselves here when desperately looking for Our Way Out
                  We know something has to change. That's the first & essential step & you've made it, well done!
                  Look forward to getting to know. Keep close
                  Gold
                  :sun:

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                    #10
                    A change must be made.

                    one thing i can say you hav found a great site,havent found anything like it,you not only have an awesome bettr half,but you found us,specially the little green lady ONE,if your reading read som of her stuff,dont no her from a hole in the ground,but like many here she is ONE,awesom lady,i wish you well gyco

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                      #11
                      A change must be made.

                      Hey,
                      Glad to have you here, a fellow Montanian-hehe!! You can do this, and things will be much better.
                      MM

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                        #12
                        A change must be made.

                        Hi KABG....welcome to MWO!

                        This is a wonderful place and don't be surprised if some days you find yourself so busy reading that you look up and 3 hours has gone by and you did it AF!!!

                        Hugs and Prayers!!
                        "The one true thing that I know about myself is that I will never stop learning things about myself!":nutso:

                        AF SINCE 5/23/2007 - MINUS 3 DAYS!!!!

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                          #13
                          A change must be made.

                          Welcome KABG,
                          My hubby sounds very similar to yours altho he's never been addicted to AL. He did go through a period where he threatened to leave, tell my parents what was going on, or boot me out but I recognise now that it was him at his wits end trying to get the message across about how badly I was screwing up my life. Then he came to a point when he said to me that he will stand by me no matter what, he loves me and will always be here for me.... now that I think about it , that's when I believed I could do this.

                          It's great to have you on board!
                          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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