Hello there, I am new here and have been cruising around the threads and like the openness and support I see! So a little about me and my problem. I am 20 weeks pregnant, married mom of 2 already. I have always had a binge drinking problem. During my first 2 pregnancies I managed to really control my drinking, but this time around I am really struggling! Although I have cut-way down (I used to binge drink about 3 times a week), the other day I had about 5 glasses of wine! I am sure you can imagine the guilt and shame I feel pitted in my stomach. We have lots of guests over who drink as well, so I usually slip into the kitchen and have my wine without people noticing. I was sober the first 14 weeks or so and then I have slowly been more liberal with my drinking--letting myself go! Has anyone been through this..? Any advice? Words of wisdom? I thought my urge to drink would subside during pregnancy and my will power would be strong, but its not! WHY!?! Thanks in advance. Has anyone seen other posts about this? I couldn't seem to find any.
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hi there!
:welcome:Hi there girl. I'm also very new - only two days!!! Can not really give you any advise as far as pregnancy is concerned, but the guilt is there anyway. I have struggled now for 4 years with getting my act together to only drinking mod, but then I do fall back into serious binge drinking - a reason........ - I'm on the journey of discovering that awnser.
At least we've got this amazing support system now, unbelieveable to me cause I do not feel so very very ALONE anymore. Good Luck & Keep in touch........ & go well.
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Pregnant and struggling!
Welcome Island!
I haven't had any experience with this personally as my drinking days started after my daughter was born. I was sent an article just the other day about AL and pregnancy... I'm happy to PM it to you if you are interested?
I think the thing here is that you need to consider not only the harm that you are doing to yourself but to your unborn baby. I remember reading in the article that the AL reaches baby's blood stream very quickly and has triple the effect on it than it does on you.
I'm pleased that you are reaching out for help and hope that other members have some advice for you."The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Welcome Puggles!!
I see you are also from SA.... yay, the more the merrier!
Have you read the book MWO yet? I highly recommend it!"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hello
Hi there deebee, glad to know there is someone faily close!!! Will look into the book! Thanx.
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hi Islandofskye...and Puggles....
Island....I too was pregnant a while ago....and struggling. Maybe you are finding it hard as this will be your 3rd baby. When I had my first I found it easy to not drink but with the second it became harder.....Try to think about the baby inside you and limit yourself...have a plan to only have eg.2 drinks a week or something and then stick to that. You need to give yourself a limit otherwise it might get out of control.....I wish you the best...its not easy. But..you can do it. Bella XXXXComment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Thanks gals! Bella how was your 2nd pregnancy and did you slip up...? If so what were the circumstances and how did you cope? I am even afraid of "limiting" myself (that scary grey zone!) as after I have a drink or two and start to feel "good" then I think, what the heck is a few more...and then there I go! Thanks for your support and responses! xxxComment
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Pregnant and struggling!
im a guy,so advise,from me on babies,i have 4 with my wife,they all seem to have come out normal,if you just stop it also will be a shock to the baby,think of what its like when you cold turkey,you no whats going on,the baby doesnt,even if your aheavy coffee drinker,smoker,it will all have some kind of effect on the baby,i lerned somthing this year when iwas in treatment,addiction you either got it or dont,it is a gene in ones system,we pass it on from one generation to maybe the next,it can skip a generation,one doesnt have to even drink,and they can have the addiction,my 4 have it regretably,no signs of the addiction yet,but it lingers,hope this helps gycoComment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Island, welcome! I have a bit of a different perspective from Bella... I think it is likely to be unrealistic to think that a binge drinker can limit herself to a couple of drinks, and especially while she is pregnant! Island, if you are interested in the MWO program, I'd recommend that you read the MWO book and think seriously about what would be a realistic plan during this pregnancy, for your health and peace of mind, and for the health of your baby... many people here have stopped drinking, using a solid plan and strong commitment and the help of others here. If you want to attempt a plan of moderate drinking, after your baby is born, you can get help for that, too, here at MWO.
best wishes,
wipComment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hi, Island. I have a lot of second hand knowledge of the effects of heavy drinking on unborn babies, and some can be very bad. Have you talked to your doctor? That's the place to start. If you're not ready to do that, research as much as you can about the effects of drinking and pregnancy. I know occasionally a glass of wine is OK, sometimes helpful, in relaxing a mother to be in late preg, who has no AL prob, but that doesn't sound like your case. I wish you well, but please do the research, and every time you pick up that glass, think about what you've read and maybe it will give you the strenth to wait until you have given birth at least. Best wishes for a healthy baby and a healty life. PS: Reseach especially Fetal Alcohol Syndromesigpic
Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hello and Welcome Island
I too struggled with my addictions during pregnancy, especially with my second child. I am very fortunate that he is ok. I would do as the others have suggested, read the book, make sure the supps are safe for you at this time by asking your doctor, and maybe, try the CD's. Also, stay close to the boards when you can. I wish you well."Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hi there Island
So glad you have joined us & feel safe to share what sounds like a real dilemma & a tricky situation. I've not been preganant so can't offer advice there. I like what WIP said though & she's very good at getting to the point.
I'm assuming you're from the UK so you may know of this show. If not I hope it helps anyway. The Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 discussed this subject on Friday 31st October. I just checked & the 'Listen Again' feature isn't yet available. I'm guessing it will be from tomorrow though, for 7 days. If this link works it will take you to the relevant page & there are a load of links there to help with your research! If it doesn't work just Google 'BBC Radio 2' then 'Jeremy Vine' then 'Friday 31st Oct'
BBC - Radio 2 - Shows - Jeremy Vine
Good luck & keep us posted, whatever you decide to do.
Gold:sun:Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hi Island and welcome. I can see that you are concerned just by the fact that you reached out and contacted us. Most of my friends who have more than one child joke that adding so many of the things you did with your first baby are just down right funny. I know I agonized over every sip of wine while breast feeding and the more seasoned moms would just roll thier eyes at me. However, there are certain things that we know as moms aren't good for the child. So, I think you've done the best thing and found some support here. We are all struggling for either alcohol free or modified and with or without pregnancy are in the same boat. It is obvious you are a good mom because of your concern so be proud of that. I have a friend that is on her third child and did want to go out with the gals, she had some wine but mixed it with seltzer to cut it down. We all know alcohol is destructive, that's why we're all here, but in this case it could have deeper impacts. You've already been able to modify, and maybe we can help you even more. My heart goes out to you and I am sure pregancy with two kids isn't easy. Heck pregancy isn't easy so take a deep breath, be proud you did the right thing by coming here and know we will help keep you strong.Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Hello there, An update on me since its been almost a month. I am going to be straight forward and honest. I did fine for a few weeks, but this last weekend I have just blown it! I just don't understand that knowing the risks and the immense guilt I feel after drinking, why I would do it, whilst 30 weeks pregnant! I went to 2 bday parties yesterday and managed to sneak into the kitchen at both and help myself to beer and wine! In total at both parties I must have had around 4-5 beers and a few hefty glasses of wine! After the 2nd party, around 6 pm I walked home (just a 1 minute walk) to "relax and have some peace and quiet" which meant having one more beer and finishing off the remains of Bailey's! Now while I feel a strong high, unfortunately I don't feel "too drunk" so I guess some how that justifies it in my sick mind! Maybe its because pregnant bodies carry much more blood and water than normal...Last night I tossed and turned with guilt and woke up of course woke up very depressed! I have done a lot of reading on these forums but the ladies with drinking problems all seem to manage sobreity for the duration of their pregnancy! What is wrong with me!?!?! I was okay (well better) until about week 20 then I have just slowly gone down hill. Please any advice, help or kind words...Comment
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Pregnant and struggling!
Island please relax the more upset you get the more the drink will come into your thoughts. There is nothing wrong with you!!! you are.... a caring loving mum like all mums dont compare youreself to others!!!!!!. The best thing is to begin to feel good about youre self...... that begins with you!!!. Ok begin today saying no more drink and promise your self every time you feel the urge to come to this place and post and ask for help before you seek the help of the glass PROMISE this to youre self and the people here will help you ALL the way and before that say to youre self 50 times I AM A GOOD PERSON just so you dont forget!!! You are a beautiful soul dont forget that
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