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[lil.michelle]

Right, i'm depressed. I haven't been for ages but ever since i finished my 30 days i've just gone downhill. I have a 2 shots of whisky tonight. I got it to swig my mouth out after i cut it badly on a bread roll but i ended up having a couple of mouth fulls of it, EW!

I've had it pretty much a crap time since my 30 days. Hubby went into hospital, baby girl has been really ill and i seriously cut my mouth open. I'm just done. I hate drink. I haven't even had much at all. I could still drive ect ect i just feel crap and lost again. How can this happen? I loved sober life so much and i'm just losing grip once again.

SO here we go again..... :upset:

[hart]

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((((Lilmichelle)))

Hang in there hon. I'm sorry life is so trying right now. Drinking won't help. I too have been blowing it. We can start fresh together. :l

[dlw]

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Take a few deep breaths. I know its easier said than done, but the only thing the AL will do is give you a hangover- Think about Tomorrow, Not Now, and stay with us online. Everyone is here for you.

[SAUSAGE]

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Hang on in there - its just a blip. Yes life sounds incredibly tough for you at the moment but drinking won't solve your problems, you'll still have all the same problems and wories plus the added ones from the drinking as well. Remember it's my day 1 too - but try not to look at life as a score of AF days - I know that's easier said than done and I don't practice what I preach here, but if it helps and you must score your days try and look at it as 33/2 or whatever Af days you are up to and keep going...we can do this together

[kicking it out!]

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hi there, i dont have much experience here but please try to not beat yourself up too hard .. you have done 30 days!!!! wow

[sunshine_gg]

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So sorry to hear things are so rough right now. Hang in there. You did 30 days and you can do it again. AND you didn't get wasted today. So there. That's gotta count for something.

Apparently, I can't even do two days
I had 1/3 glass of wine this afternoon. Why is beyond me.

So, here's to day one again. :l

[vealees]

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The fact that you are STILL here means you have NOT blown it. You are Still, STILL, in the orbit of soberity. XXXXXXX

[startingover]

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Hi Michelle, You have done so well. Dont forget that when you stop drinking your emotions will be all over the place for a while. They do settle but it does take a bit of time. For me between one and two months could be quite hard. Sort of like the honeymoon period was over and didnt have anything more to look forward to. I promise you it does calm down. your body and mind are going through so many changes with detoxing.
Having bad days is just part of normal life. Start trying to go with the flow a bit. Oh and keep posting. Dont give up....

[keepwalking]

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Lil M, please dont despair, this is your brain re-acting to tease and torment you, its not your weakness its just what it does because its got used to Alchohol to keep you focused. You are just having an anti climax, just like when the big event is over, or the wedding done or the holiday over. It is no different and completely natural, you;ve been living every second of the 30 day goal and now its over your brain decides to test you out and get you when your low! you have also thrown guilt in and blaming yourself when it is just your wicked organ playing tricks on you. defeat it, your soul and heart know whats best, the demon lil brain needs to be told off! Smile and smile and look in the mrror you cannot feel sad when your face is smiling to defeat your naughty brain, soon now your brain will click back into supporting you and then you will be best friends again, Be mindful how strong the brain is but do not let it defeat your soul! Its science not weakness, move forward and put your big stick away, you are very precious, imagine yourself as a little baby girl all frightened, what would you do if you saw that little baby girl right now , you wouldnt shout at her for being weak you would comfort her and love and cherish her till she felt better. Now imagine baby michelle no bigger than the top of your thumb, tuck her inside your heart and look after her, she is you and deserves it.
KW with love x

[raineyjane]

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lil M,
Hang in there! you are doing so well! Ive been in rehab for a few weeks, Ive been visiting here but not posting much. so far I have had a few set backs. Today I really wanted to drink after my mother pushed my button!!!!! So here I am checking in and saw your post. I have to tell you how proud I am of you! your doing what you need to do, coming here and reaching out to the mwo.ers. keep going girl......you can do this! me too.
raineyjane
k.w. I loved your post.

[vera-b]

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Hang in there LilM!

KeepW wrote a wonderful perspective. Sure sounds like a lot of gunk has come your way, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. You can, however, get some control over how you react to it all. To look through the eyes of gratitude, you will need to hang onto your sobriety, and I know you will. You've come way too far to retreat. We're behind you, and sending as much positive energy as possible over to you. We all know how tough this struggle can be, and how absolutely exhilarating every little success is. We're with you!

Vera-b

[lil.michelle]

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Hi all. I just wanted to say thank you for everyone
My life is really tough right now. I know i'm not going to go back to drinking. I hated that life, i can't live it again. I love having control over my body at all times.
My old self would have got very drunk on the whiskey but i hardly had any. It just annoyed me that i had to have a little, very little. Anyway, i decided to just pour it down the drain even tho it helped soooo much with the cuts all over in my mouth.
No more drink for me.

[gyco]

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lil m.you like i,like to battle the beast,and many more here,im up early,cause of drink,normally at 2 or 3am,som hav a coffee,some a beer,itis a pattern ,i got up this morning cause of a nasty dream plus a new cold i somhow got this weekend,no buckleys,normally a drink of rum would do the trik,as a doctor once said to the patient who asked about the pain he replied as saying have a shot of jack daniels,has the same effect as the pain killers som abuse,not knowing cause the patient didnt tell him or her they had the addiction, i also go to sleep when i get tired,4 to 6 hours,if i dont sleep,ill just contemplate in bed,seeing there are a lot of ladies here i wont tell you what i contemplate,sex,hahahaha,as if you didnt no,but i do eventually fall aslep,you having yunger children can have a strain,even in sleep my brain is battling nasty dreams,it is telling me have a brake,dont be so hard on yourself,you have to admit you have a lot of support,and im always here to read your sorrows,remember the word H A L T,hunger anger,lying, and tired are usually the cause of faltering,beat those letters out and you mt not find it so tough your freind gyco.ok thts your bed time story im going back for a snooze hahah wothout the sex,later

[SAUSAGE]

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Good to hear you sounding so positive - remember no matter how bad your life now, it would be worse with your drinking, keep going, we're all rooting for you.

[Sunbeam]

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keepWalking,
Thanks for those lovely words. The concept is a common one here, but this analogy touches my heart.

lilMichelle,
You have learned a lot since joining here, but no one is perfect. Just keep trying, and you will continue to succeed.