IT HURTS.....im dying inside

[Cloudy]

Last nite "runaway" hubby ended it all!! even returned all the gifts i'd bought him. He wants it over! I thought he'd stick by me, ( even if not living at home) i thought we'd get back together. 9 days AF - and now the dark road ahead becomes darker.

God, how much more can i carry, when am i going to end these tests of life????????

[blondie]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Cloudy

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you're going through. I know how dark it must be for you and mere words won't help in easing your situation. It must be tough to have tried so hard to get all those AF days under your belt to have this "kick". Please stick around and post or chat -there will be lots more people on later.

Know you'll get through this a stronger person, particularly without alcohol.

Thinking of you
Blondie

[startingover]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Hiya Cloudy, my heart goes out to you reading that. I guess you probably are wondering right now why you put all the effort in?
I so know that feeling. I think that we think that once we have gotten sober, then everything will fall into place and and be wonderful.
Its not so, I have been sober 4 months and on Tuesday I lost my job and yesterday I found my mum had emphysema. It is really hard to stay positive in the face of adversity. But we have to. We have to keep going on this path we have chosen because deep down we both know its the right one.

Please dont give up, we can do this, if you want to talk, PM me.

[Bella]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Cloudy...my heart goes out to you.....have you got good friends to help you through this?? I hope so...lean on them and also come here often to just talk and let things out...there is always someone here. "Chat" is also good......Please be strong and keep thoses AF days going....you will cope soooo much better with a clear mind and the challenges ahead......All the best Bella XXXX

[Boss.man]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Cloudy I read through your past posts, just to get a perspective. They are few.

Your center, is going to well up from right inside you. I can clearly see that in all your posts. You are a strident and confident person.

You are confident in all things, except yourself. Why is that? What can we do to reverse that?

Let's start a new era, where you are MOST confident in yourself. You are the most important person to yourself. You are the one to guide your children, but as a true leader and a person who knows yourself.

Spouses and lovers can come and go. And we all have mega-faults in mistake-land. But this sounds like you hit a basic "road" moment. The road is solid, hard and long. It hasn't changed since you were a child, and won't change when your great great grand daughter marries. Men, and women, sometimes seem right, but sometimes it's just roads crossing, and after crossing they move in opposite directions. Just go no harm no foul there. You can't change another person's road.

What you CAN do is take one deliberate step after another, and pave your own true path. One saying I like a lot is:

Living well; is the best revenge.

[startingover]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

BossMan, your words have helped me too. Thank you

[Seacailin]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

I am so sorry Cloudy. You know that you will be much better off facing this with a clear head. I wish u strength. Please stay close by and let us know how you are. Congratulations on 9 days. That is Awesome!!!:l

[Guitarista]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Congrat's here also to you Cloudy on 9 day's alcohol free! Follow your bliss...G.

[Cloudy]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Thank you all. Boss.man your words bring comfort, truth and reality. I will make today day 10 AF. I will I must.

[bloggy]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

What a great post Bossman.

Hang on in there Cloudy. sometimes things seem so shitty but 6 months down the line you see why it all happened and it was for the best.

Huge Congrats on your 10 days.

[hippie37]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

I think the Boss has spoken!! Can't say anything more really apart from offer you my best wishes in achieving your goals in the future.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[spirit pixie]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

cloudy - sounds like a steep climb ahead, you are doing SO well with 9 days AF and that strength will get you to the top. bet the view will be awesome !! thanks Boss for some wonderful words...
love pixie
x

[AAthlete]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Cloudy, it is always when things seem at their darkest that we truly have the ability to shine.

I am sorry for the pain that you are feeling right now, but the focus should be on getting you better. The painful truth is that for the people we have hurt by our drinking, nine days of sobriety might as well be nine minutes. It is through a long period of sobriety that we can show those around us that we have changed; that we are a different person from who we used to be.

Don't know if it helps or not, but I promise you that all of this is possible if you are willing to work for it. How do I know that? My wife was ready to walk out with my son after years of my lies & broken promises - and now 1 1/2 years later she trusts me completely and asks me how to help other people who are having issues with drinking.

Don't give up hope - you can do this. Just take it one step at a time.

[Evie.Lou]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

I am so sorry that you are going thru this major TRAUMA, just when you are on the path of recovery.I want you to know that no matter how bad you feel, a drink will only make it worse.focus your energy on Healing YOU and then the right partner will appear in your life to share in your sober, happy, healthy future...You can do it, I know you can.

[rubywillow]

IT HURTS.....im dying inside

Cloudy, there are so many voices here for you. There's no easy answer. Many come here looking for just that. But you have experienced enough in life to know that isn't how it happens. Now, here, you have a focus point, a way to start upward. It won't be easy, but what in your life has been. The thing is, you will be able to see, everyday, in numbers and days, that YOU are winning. This has to be about you. The others you love will see your changes, and see your strength, and hopefully want to follow your path. You're no good to them if you empty yourself out. Work with this place, build yourself here, learn who you are and why you drink, and become the woman you know in your heart you are. Only then can you help those you love. We choose the world we live in, and we make that world, Cloudy. After months here, I'm still learning that. You have our care and sympathy, but mostly our support and willingness to help you change what needs to be changed, the patterns and thinking that cause you to drink instead of face your problems. Talk to us.