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    #1

    Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

    This is the first thread I've started, but I think many of our problems have their root in the nasty things we say to ourselves over and over again. I've been going through what I've been calling a "mid-life" crisis lately and realized that I need to change my messages to myself if I am ever to get my life going in a positive direction.

    I am concentrating on forgiving myself first. Because until I can forgive myself I will never be released from the endless cycle of guilt, remorse and self punishment that is keeping me mired in inertia and crippling anxiety. So, I've been looking for some positive reinforcement through sayings and quotes that I can repeat to myself, hopefully replacing the negative ones that have ruled my thought processes for years.

    Anywhoo - here's my first contribution to positive thoughts, a quote from Mary Pickford. It makes me feel a bit better and gives me hope. Maybe someday I can really believe it:H:




    If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you.
    What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down.
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    #2
    Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

    It's easy. Whatever past is done. What we focus now is on our future. From this moment forward, I have complete control on how I will act.

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      #3
      Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

      That's a lovely quote, Dingbat. Thanks for sharing.... I too need to think more positively. Bossman, I don't think it's easy ... but you're right it's what we need to do ... focus on the future because we can't change the past.

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        #4
        Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

        Very nice, dingbat. Great way to start the day!
        You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

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          #5
          Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

          Dingbat, forgiving ourselves for our past can be very difficult to do, but as you say is essential in our recovery. It is important to remember that there is nothing we can do about our past, but we can control today. Take it one day at a time - and realize that we are never going to be perfect. When something doesn't go exactly as we want it to, we can't simply write off the day - we have to keep going and stay positive.
          Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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            #6
            Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

            DB, great post. Self-compassion is hugely important in recovery, and forgiving oneself is part of that. B.man, I think it is simple, perhaps... but NOT easy, for most people... In fact, many people I have worked with reject the idea of self-forgiveness and/or self-compassion because they believe that it is only by being harshly critical of themselves, when they fail, that they can keep from failing all the time!

            There's a psychologist named Kristin Neff who is the world expert, these days, in self-compassion. Here's a link to her website.

            wip

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              #7
              Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

              Wow, quite a great thread for a first one, dingbat

              I love your name, by the way.

              Wayne Dyer says that forgiving yourself is vital, ?Do it for yourself to provide the antidote for the poison that you have allowed to circulate inside of you.?

              Be
              "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

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                #8
                Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                [ame=
                ]YouTube - Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting go[/ame]




                Very nice thread!
                Thank you...


                :lNancy
                "Be still and know that I am God"

                Psalm 46:10

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                  #9
                  Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                  I learned from my pastor a few years ago that the "forgive and forget" notion is hogwash. Forgiveness is giving up the anger, and that is good. But if you forget, you learn nothing from the past.
                  My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                    #10
                    Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                    dingbat, thank you so much for this thread!!

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                      #11
                      Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                      Thanks for sharing that dingbat! I think this also goes along with accepting our mistakes and learning from them. It's how we become who we are.
                      _______________
                      NF since June 1, 2008
                      AF since September 28, 2008
                      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                      _____________
                      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                      _______________
                      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

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                        #12
                        Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                        Powerful, thanks for the uplifting thoughts. Love the YouTube message!
                        Hope :h

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                          #13
                          Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                          Thanks for the responses, guys! I didn't mean to post and disappear; but, my husband got up and I just feel more comfortable posting here without his knowing. He has no sense of personal space:sigh:.

                          I agree that it may be a simple concept; but the application, at least for me, is very hard. I think it may be the hardest thing of all. Anyway, my idea was to begin to start the day off with positive affirmations. Years ago - cripes, 20 years ago - I had a therapist who taught me guided visualization, relaxation techniques and positive affirmations. And, as I look back on it, she's the only one that ever really helped me. I have been to plenty of others, and had my share of the pills they like to hand out; but the pills only made me worse. At first I felt like a horse's ass looking in the mirror and telling myself a how great I was, but it really made a difference.

                          Here's another one on forgiveness:


                          "You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." -Maya Angelou

                          My goal is to know better and thus do                           better from this point on. And it involves much more than just staying off the AL; I need an adjustment in my life-attitude.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                            dingbat;463081 wrote: This is the first thread I've started, but I think many of our problems have their root in the nasty things we say to ourselves over and over again.
                            I am the Worst at beating myself up - but I have been Learning lately to be more aware of my thoughts. It's like learning anything: it takes PRACTICE.

                            You catch yourself thinking something negative, STOP and redirect your thoughts... I know - easier said than done. But it's been Working lately. And my whole outlook is changing (although my circumstances haven't).

                            I wallowed for Months in grief, etc. after my boyfriend died in June. I think I finally got to a point where I had had Enough. It's almost like now I'm Rewarding myself for having suffered! I "decided" to feel good and enjoy my life, enjoy the NOW.

                            Now if I could just get a decent job... I'd be over the moon!!! :H
                            Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Positive thoughts: Forgiveness

                              Dear Dingbat, A name change would help with your positive self talk.How about something that conveys a feeling like ... Competent, Caring, Compassionate woman..that I am sure you are????? Thoughts are things and when we change our thoughts, we change our world.
                              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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