Why can't I stop?

[Arwen]

Well, after all my big talk, I went home last night and drank. I'm so disgusted with myself..I can't even stand it. I feel like such an utter failure. I think about all the things I've ruined by drinking and what's the first thing I do..drink. I actually can't stand it, it's the effect I'm after..I guess I'm afraid to feel. Does that make sense? I'm going to try agian today. I read your stories and I'm so inspired by all of you. You're all so supportive and wonderful. I wish I could just get my hands around this clucking monster instead of just letting it constantly run me over and over and over. I want to wake up clear headed and fresh. I don't want to be completely exhausted all the time, I'd like to remember my phone conversations with my kids....the desire to do this is so strong..so why can't I do it?Is it because I won't do it? Can the answer be that simplistic? I have to do this..I just have to. I've let it take everything from me...everything. I have to climb out of this hole and start living again. I'll need all the help I can get.

[Peacefull]

Why can't I stop?

Feeling the same

I am really trying to not be too hard on myself, but I feel the same today. Moderated well on Sat and then last night drank too much for my liking. I was suppose to be on my 30 day AF, but blew that.

Let's start today, firstly let's be kind to ourselves and let the bad self talk stop, for me that is the catalyst to drink.

[Montana Mommy]

Why can't I stop?

Don't beat yourself up too much. We've all been there. You need to have a plan. For most of us will power is not enough. Start by reading the My Way out book, and get your plan going from there. I've fell so many times and wondered the same thing. For me I had to start medication to help.
MM

[A Work in Progress]

Why can't I stop?

Arwen, MM is right... you need a plan, plus determination to stop the craziness about alcohol. One of the most important parts of your plan, for the early days, might be getting and keeping alcohol out of your house.

wip

[Mackeral]

Why can't I stop?

There is a simple answer...And the answer is You CAN do it..You need a plan like has been said..You need to set a date and reduce your alcahol till that date instead of getting as much down your neck before the date you said..You need to know what your going to do with you time instead of sitting and thinking about drink..You need to get in any medication you might need..
You need to want this more than anything else at this point in your life..You need to be 100% committed..
But you can do it..The only thing stopping you is you..

Go on Arwen...Do it..