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[A Work in Progress]

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Chelle12;464781 wrote: Im spending a LOT of time at the mo in focusing on the negative... partly because Im so tired and exhausted of trying boost myself up and make effort to do the positive.
All my attempts at trying to better myself have been recently kncked down by my family.... Its soul destroying... because my family are all I have.
Im TRYING to lift myself out of this mess and Im trying to muster up the strength and courage and im seeking help left right and centre and have passed around from pillar to post from various peeps in counselling/docs etc...

I understand, I really do... I came out of a very, very toxic and negative family situation (it still exists, in my mind, and my mother is still alive and kicking and trying to get me to "have a drink" with her!). And I know that getting good help within ANY mental health so-called "system" can be extremely difficult. It is simply criminal, actually.

I hope that MWO can help fill in some of the gaps for you, a place where you CAN consistently get helpful and supportive feedback. Not everyone will always agree with what you are doing, or how you are looking at things; but mostly, the folks here are helpful and have huge amounts of experience in dealing with some of the unfair blows that life gives us on a daily basis. So... stick around, keep posting, do your best to shift your attention to the positive as much as possible, OK?

wip

[A Work in Progress]

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Bestlife just posted this... Chelle, you gotta watch it!!! Fantastic!!

[ame=

]YouTube - ?????[/ame]

[gyco]

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hi chelle,not an easy life.i also numbed myself in my later drinking,to avoid the pain,life is somtimes a pain in the you no what,as far as partners,most dont understand,there not us,easy to comment on somthing they dont no nothing of,it hurts,my wife is finding tht out rt now,but i listen to her instead of accusations,a far as the doctors like you ie seen 5 psychitrists,dont no how many pscoligists in the last 10 years i just stopped counting,the memories will never go away,any more then the thot to have a drink,toke needle in the arm,we or i have to make the best of my circumstances,tht is what ive lerned the last 9 months or so,who s rt,there is an old saying here in canada,your damed if you do,and your damed if you dont,your doin the best ,with what you have,im proud of you at least you speak up,gyco

[hippie37]

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Chelle I think WIP has one of the strongest heads on her shoulders and talks a lot of sense. Please take head of what she is saying.

Love you hon and take care OK?

Hips
xxxxx

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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WIP, thanks for sharing that Youtube, it really got to me. :upset:

Be

[Nakeeta]

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Hello Again Everyone! Got up early went to the dentist sat there til they came out and told me I came on the wrong day!!! Drove 45min. for no reason! Oh Well. Just got home looked at the Youtube that WIP put out and started to cry. I guess I'm just having one of those days. It's just 12:17. I sure hope my day gets better. I did get the book "The five people you meet in heaven". I hope it is good.

[Nakeeta]

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thanks o2m

[Nakeeta]

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It doesn't take much to make me cry. I've always been that way. I see some one cry and there goes my tears. No matter how hard I try to hold them back I can't.

[cymru]

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You still with us Chelle?

[Chelle12]

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Im still here.
WIP... Thank you for posting that youtube video... kinda puts life into perspective.
Sitting here, not with tears my eyes anymore but with a smile.
My immediate thought after watching that (as per usual) was guilt...cos why am i so angry and depressed when you consider what a struggle that guy's life has been like... but then I kinda think..no, hewouldnt have wanted me to feel 'guilty' for feeling the way i am.. he probably would want me to feel more uplifted.

[Chelle12]

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Life is very complex isnt it?

[1morechance]

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great video
thanks for sharing. hope you feel better chelle

[Chelle12]

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I do.
Calmed down a lot and just feel very lonely.
I want to go home, but im scared that the arguments will start up again.
Travelodges suck....

[Arwen]

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God help us all

My gosh, such awful things to have survived. I can't even imagine, or begin to imagine. You have way more strength and resolve than I do, You'll get through this too. Nothing I can say would even begin to help you heal, but I'm thinking about you and hoping that tomorrow is a brighter day for you. Have that cup of tea and open up a good book. That used to be my favorite form of escape. It's looking pretty good right now. Have you considered journaling about your experiences? I do every once in a while and it is cathartic, it probably is most beneficial if you keep at it. I don't know why I stopped..I think I'll start again. Now's as good a time as any. Hope some of this is helpful. take care, I'll be looking for your post tomorrow. ...Arwen

[cymru]

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Go home chelle. Get your stuff, and go home to dave. What good is going to happen by sitting there in that box? Go to the ones who love you.