Day 1 again

[chiizus]

I hate myself.

Do any of us actually ever make it? I keep seeing people saying they're at day 1 again (or again again, etc.) Bf made me very sad. He told me last night that I had been doing so well but then I "went and ruined it". Is it really ruined?

I'm so depressed today. :upset:

[AAthlete]

Day 1 again

Chiizus, yes people do make it out, and no it is never ruined as long as you are willing to try again. I know how hard it seems sometimes, especially the day after you drink, but you can do this.

The key is to have a plan when things like the bf situation come up. That's part of life that is going to happen, so knowing when to do when it does can go a long ways in helping you stay sober. Don't let the good (you doing so well) outweigh the bad....

[dlw]

Day 1 again

Chiizus, you CAN do it. I am 33 days AF, thanks to the love and support of this site. Dont give up on yourself. At your weakest moment, log on to MWO and lean on us. We are all in the same boat. and We are here for you. Keep close to us- and look to the future of No Hangovers, no guilt and an AF life!

DLW
AF 33 days
Member MWO 33 days

[chiizus]

Day 1 again

I'm so afraid that by the time I get there, I'll also have no boyfriend, no home, and be all alone.

[Miss Behaving]

Day 1 again

Chiizus - I've just bumped the "Tool box" thread. After a couple of months of regular slips, the post by WIP on "urge surfing" gave me something that worked for me. There are lots of other great suggestions on that thread as well.

keep on keeping on ....... if you really want this it will happen. Best wishes

[AstraiaJ.]

Day 1 again

Day ones add up to something, sometime!

chiizus, there's that saying something about "A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." When I first logged on here in June, I noticed that there were lots of people who had made it for a long time, and many others who were making it one day, then two days, then four days, and kept stretching it out gradually. Different people seemed to have different ways. For me, gradually stopping was the road I eventually had to take. I remember reading the "sticky like a swimming pool" thread and that's what really showed me that one way some people have done it is to slowly stretch out their AF days to be longer and longer. At first I could only go one day. So I did that -- ended up drinking every other day for awhile. Doesn't sound like much, but it was something to me since it had been EVERY day for years and years. Then I got inspired by something else on this site (plus had started taking supps) and I started going 2 days AF. Then after a couple of weeks of that, 3 days AF. Now, months later in November, I'm going for my record of almost four weeks. I REALLY got tired of going through detox symptoms repeatedly, which was what motivated me to keep going that one more day.

Now, I'm really on the road to just staying AF for now. I'm over detox but still get cravings -- learning how to overcome those, but that's another story. ODAT has become my motto now. I'm just starting to feel better, and probably would have felt a LOT better by now if I'd just gone AF in June, but I've made it, anyway, this far.

Whatever little steps you take, come here and we will be proud because WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT. That's the last thing I've learned -- others in our daily lives may not understand, but I've stopped expecting that. You can do it, and you can find your way how.

[universal]

Day 1 again

You know what? you're here. What does that tell you? That you're willing to give it a shot and "keep on keeping on"......

Your bf doesn't get the struggle, only you do. So you just keep trying, and keep working and keep fighting. He will see your resolve - and if he doesn't? Well, deal with that road then. This is about you. Only you. Don't let others determine YOUR self worth. You can do this. If you want to.

Keep on smiling, trying and fighting and let us help.

Love and Hugs,
Uni

[nancy]

Day 1 again

Hi again

Is that really what he said? You ruined it? Or is that the only thing you heard out of a big conversation?

I think you should evaluate that. If he really said you ruined it, then you should think about dumping him. If otherwise, work on yourself.

You know, this is a process. No one thinks it is easy. But you need to support yourself through this and you need to have a personj who supports you or else be alone. Would it really be that bad to be alone? Are you completely financially dependent on this guy? Do you work?

Nancy

[nancy]

Day 1 again

Also, if you choose to take this punitive stance of "going back to day 1" that is your choice, but it is really not in your own interests....

[Snapdragon]

Day 1 again

I hate myself too

Hi Chiizus

I woke up this morning truly hating myself too! Day one on Saturday AF - then on Sunday, went out for a meal with bf and before I could say otherwise, he ordered me a large glass of wine. I suppose I could have asked him to change the order - but the tempation was too great. Anyway - not too bad - I only had one glass and we had a very nice evening. Then on Monday, I thought 'hey - I managed one glass yestererday, perhaps I can do the same today', so while planning to buy a bottle of wine, I noticed that the 3 litre boxes were on special offer - you guessed it - I drank half on Monday and finished it off last night.

I truly hate myself for doing this. I hate the look of disgust on my 14 year old son's face - why do I do this to him? He deserves a good mum not a disgusting drunk. I have a huge bruise on my leg this morning and can't even remember how it got there. :upset:

AstraiaJ - your words really help me. I want to achieve what you have, which is self control. That's what this is all about for me. I am going to try again - today!

Chiizus - shall we start day one again together?

[Captnjack]

Day 1 again

Chiizus start changing the hate yourself thing you are a good person "drinking hate youre self juice" stop that and you are gauranteeded to start feeling good about yourself in 3 days and i will through in a free set of steak knives if that doesnt happen. Your cool " That's what this is all about for me. I am going to try again - today! YEAAA were with you