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**Captnjack** · November 12, 2008, 04:02 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Hi Uni Yea I keep trying to forget about the people I have hurt and want to apologise to too. The drinkers guilt is a deep one!!!!! but realising it starts the healing process self torture is useless it perpetuates continued self abuse. Forgive your self first and then seek forgiveness from others cliche I know but its true!!!!! a sense of personal self worth is crucial to beating this addiction. And yes move on just want to say i will miss you!!!!! Bessie started a wonderful thing here!!!! Im sure you will pop in every now and then.
Love cap

**Bessie** · November 12, 2008, 04:50 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Hi all (slightly feeble wave from across the pond). Still about but only just! Need to get back into this little cyber self help world and pick myself up a bit. Got too much to do all the time at the moment and I'm struggling to stay centred. Had a good long stretch of AF then a steady Mod time but slipped back recently so I need to draw on the support of this site again. This ODAT thread is my favourite place - so this is where I'll start! Lovely to see Uni and CaptnJack on here! But I must put one thing right - I can't take any praise for the ODAT thread - it was already going when I joined. Started by reteacher. So it's her idea and a bloody good one!

Much love to all and I'll be seeing more of you now.

Bessie xxx

**Snapdragon** · November 12, 2008, 05:56 AM

ODAT Wednesday

I'm sorry too

[QUOTE=universal;466057]
So I'm going to bring it here, not as a downer but as an up to the start of the day.

We are all here ODAT, we all struggle, we all have our needs. The jist of the thread was to apologize to those who we have really wronged.......

So I'll start...

To my daughter......I'm sorry that I haven't been the mommy that you have needed....that I have put you to bed and haven't remembered.....that I have promised you things while drinking and forgotten the next day, that I have scared you or slurred words when I should have been taking better care of you. I'm sorry that mommy has a problem........

Uni - I want to join you in apologising to all of the people I love so much yet hurt everyday. Especially my youngest son who constantly tells me how much he loves me and begs me not to drink today - I am so sorry. I really will try not to drink today.

**Mad Mummy** · November 12, 2008, 06:18 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Hi everyone

Uni I love the sentiments and they do hit home to all of us I feel. Bessie so glad to see you back - was worrying about you and all the animals etc.

Just had hair cut and feeling good - trying to remember to take it ODAT as they say.

And welcome Snapdragon glad you're here and keep working at it - with the support of all the people on MWO you're doing the right thing.

Luv to all Bx

**dingbat** · November 12, 2008, 06:38 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Good morning all! Day 7 here and toodling along.

I'm not ready for the apologies yet. At this point I am focused on ODAT and getting my anxiety under control. I think that until I get myself together any apologies I make will be just more of the same tired old stuff I've said before. And I wonder if the best apology isn't actually in action; living differently and being a person that one can be proud to be??

Alright, eek, a bit too much on the brain this early in the morning:H!

Here's to a great af day for everyone!! Bessie you know you can do it, you've done it before! Every single day that you manage is a triumph.

**Glenno69** · November 12, 2008, 06:51 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Heya ODAT love to know why we have to suffer this progressive destroying disease,i hate myself for the pain and suffering my disease has caused to the ones i truly love and in sobriety i would never or should i say ever have or would hurt.The lies the deception the whole fake ass life i have portrayed on the poison.But ODAT if i dont pick up a drink i cant get pissed

**savon19** · November 12, 2008, 07:29 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Hey Uni and ALL -

But ... you know what??? WE have not done all the Harm and should not take All the responsibility for EVERYTHING. There are people who have hurt us.. even while sober.

Booze tends to bring out "inner" honesty ... in vino veritas. So we get the balls to say it like it is. Which we, being sensitive people, then regret.

Wonder what Sober people do when they're hurtful?? They can't say, "heck, I was drunk & didn't know what I was saying!!?"

NOT to say that drinking is good. But I'm tired of being a Victim.

Certainly, I have said things I regret. BUT.

Anyway - not doing that well in terms of drinking right now. Don't think I got job I interviewed w/yesterday. Felt bummed and drank. Didn't help, but better than kicking a dog...!!

Life goes on!

**Captnjack** · November 12, 2008, 07:39 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Savvy kick my arse any time you will get that job

**greeneyes** · November 12, 2008, 08:11 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Morning all.

Funny Bessie - I composed a PM to you last night but my mailbox was full so I had to delete stuff inorder to send it and in the process lost your PM then didn't get back to it. You must have seen my little wave!

Last night I listend to a meditation on forgiveness from a site WIP referred me to. Part of it was forgiving youself. We musn't forget that part!

Dreary day and I feel a little tired and wish I could just putter about, but that's not on my schedule.

Have a good day and meet your goals!

**Peacefull** · November 12, 2008, 09:40 AM

ODAT Wednesday

I am really working on forgiving myself for the stupid things I have done while drinking. I

**dingbat** · November 12, 2008, 09:59 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Peace - I'm with you. I did read your response to the "forgiveness" thread and I agree. We have to learn to forgive and care about ourselves first, I believe, in order to truly change our behavior.

I also agree with Savon; another step will be to forgive others who have harmed us. I know I harbor a lot of resentment and anger that comes out when I drink. At some point I will need to let it go so that I can be a healthy and whole human being.

In any case, we can only take it one step at a time, and one day at a time, at least in the beginning. If I tried to deal with all of it at once I'd simply freeze, and probably give up.

**happydog** · November 12, 2008, 10:38 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Hi Everyone just like to say a big HELLO ....
Not been on here for a long while..... i said to myself this morning i just got to keep on saying that little word 'NO' in my head, well that ilttle word is still there and is very strong.
I want to wake up tomorrow feeling good inside me instead of getting up and going back to bed.
Every day will be a great milestone for me.

Take care everyone and welcome to all newbies.

Love
Teardrop.x

**BecomingMeAtLast** · November 12, 2008, 11:45 AM

ODAT Wednesday

Hi ODATers!

Day 3 here and feeling good. It's a beautiful sunny day out. No apologies here, I posted mine on the thread yesterday and bawled my eyes out. Had nightmares last night because of it. It's good though. Get all the bad stuff out and make room for the good stuff.

That All One powder is making my nails so long I actually have to file them. I've never had to do that before and they're a bit crooked but it's pretty cool!

Time to shower. On with the day. Take care, all :l
Be

**akgirl** · November 12, 2008, 01:31 PM

ODAT Wednesday

GM ODATers

Just a quick check in to say hello and wish everyone a wonderful day.

Day 2 and feeling strong and positive. (Still hate counting, but want to do 7 AF)

:l
AK

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