blacked out

[letgo]

:new:

Hi all:

I've stumbled upon this site and I've read a few posts, so, here goes mine. I've thought about quitting drinking numerous times over the years although I've never gotten a DUI or lost a job or had any other what I would consider serious consequences from my drinking.

I am now 50 and have 2 young children (2 and 5) and they are another reason to quit drinking. I've noticed that the older I get I tend to lose some of my memory or "black out" sometimes from drinking. I've read that if you black out, then you're probably an alcoholic.
What do you folks think?

I know that I feel better when I don't drink. Sleep better, etc.

A big issue for me is that there are so many social events that involve drinking and that is the part of quitting that scares me. Also, vacations tend to involve a lot of drinking. What good is a beach w/o a cold beer or margarita?

Any suggestions?

[LVT25]

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Hello there, letgo! :welcome:

I'm no expert, but to me a black out or loss of memory is a symptom of alcohol overdose. I'm sure there is some science behind it and I'm also sure you will get some more educated replies on this. I also think it is a really good reason to quit drinking. Most of my regret from past drinking is the fact that I cannot remember the good times and conversations. Which brings me to my next point: we don't NEED alcohol in order to have a good time at social functions. We have been brainwashed over time to think we do. In fact, we can remember everything, drive home and feel great the next day!
I would suggest reading "My Way Out" and going without alcohol for a month or so and see how great it feels.

[AMELIA]

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Hi Letgo,
Welcome to the site.

I am not sure from your post how much you are drinking....different people have different ideas about how much is too much.

If you have blacked out, then I would think that on that occasion you have definately drunk too much.
Do you drink often and to excess? How many units do you think you consume a week?

Over and above those answers to those questions, you do recognise that you feel a lot better within yourself when you do not drink.
Maybe that is all you need to know.

I know I 'think' socialising will be easier if I am drinking,.....but to be honest the times I have socialised when sober have been really enjoyable. I felt like I was really connecting with people.

Let us know how you get on.

[brittzak]

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It isnt what we think...what do YOU think? If you are seeking out this site...I would think that you think you have a problem, right? So, now what do you want to do to get better? I am glad you are here. Not everyone has to have a major ordeal happen to hit rock bottom to make a change. Not all of us have to have life altering events, some light bilubs turn on before DUI's, loss of job, wife or huuby walking out, kids leave, etc...you are fortunate if so. I for one had to go through a few of those losses for the light bulb to light up. Your children are young, you make changes nw, they will never remember a drunk Dad....that is great! Read WIP's TOOL box thread...good stuff

[letgo]

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Thank you all for your input. You're right, if I think there is a problem, there most likely is a problem. Its just hard to admit it. Where's the WIP toolbox?

[A Work in Progress]

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Hi, letgo, and welcome! A lot of us contributed to the "tool box" thread; one of the posts is about how to develop your own "my way out" program. Click here to get there!

wip

[Lila]

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Letgo
My children's father would not get treatment for his drinking and drug use. Refused. Would not even bother to try. I REALLY REALLY admire that you are here and listing them as a reason. I know, you have to do it for yourself. I am just glad you are here. There is great support here, welcome.
Lila

[DeeBee]

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Welcome Letgo,

You have already been given great advice, just wanted to say hi and if you feel up to it maybe tell us a bit more about yourself.

[zed]

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hey there Letgo, with your lifestyle I understand how hard quitting can be. There are a lot of options in front of you and we hope you choose the right one for yourself - sure you will.

Re: blackouts - my experience with it - I have plenty - that might pertain to you is it happens after one has been a regular 'hard' drinker for a long period of time. There are two types of blackouts - once again only based on my personal experience, so this is far from factual or scientific - one, is from binging, i.e. on a night you go on a bender and consume large amounts of alcohol, normally over a prolonged period of time, like 3+ hours or by drinking very fast: Classic Binging. Two, is from not binging exactly, but just from drinking moderately even, but regularly with no respite. I have suffered from both types and have tales to tell about both but I think based on what you mentioned about your life, that it seems the second type is happening to you. This happened to me too some years ago, I wasn't necessarily drinking like a maniac each night of the week, but one some nights even when I was just imbibing 3-4 drinks, that would be enough for me to lose my memory towards the end of the evening. I think my body was just 'saturated' with the sauce and my mind (in some sort of defense mechanism) would shut down. This happened regularly, non-stop, literally every time I had drinks for a few months. It became a big problem. No memory towards the end of the evening, usually the last hour of it, going to bed... spotty memories at best. So much so, that I got used to it and actually even dealt with it in controlled situations.

But I changed my lifestyle thereafter, I "de-saturated" (stopped the regular drinking for a while) and then the regular blacking-out business also eased up and finally almost disappeared from my experience. It's been 10 years since I can say I have experienced Type 2 blackouts... thanks God. (Something to think about: stress might have something to do with it...)

Unless I do type 1 (binging) now, I won't black-out anymore. It's been years since I blacked-out even from moderate drinking - BUT there was that time in my life many years ago when that did happen.

Hope this helps and hope to see you more around on the site, asking questions and sharing your experiences.

Cheers, Zed

[letgo]

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Thanks Zed, Great information.

I don't drink every day anymore and I definitely feel better when I don't. The idea of quitting drinking completely is somewhat scary to me.

I realy think that drinking starts to take its toll in your forties, it just seems the older you get your body can't tolerate the drinking like it used to. Actually, my body can't handle a lot of things like it used to. Growing older is hell in many ways, but hopefully, the wisdom you gain seems to offset some of the physical aging.

I think where I run into trouble, like on Friday night, (I didn't drink last night) is that being an older dad I end up hanging out with people who are 20 years younger than I and drinking at their pace. I flat can't handle it anymore and I try to drink with the younger dads and that's when I get into trouble.

I think I will check out the book on this site and keep reading posts. There's certainly a lot of god information here.

A lot of my heroes quit drinking and I may indeed follow suit:

Chris Mattews, Don Imus, Dave Letterman, James Taylor.

They all seem to be doing pretty well without booze.

[Wannabsober]

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letgo,

I hear you with the blackouts. Maybe it's getting older, maybe it's that I started on anti-depressants. Not sure what happened but I sure had lots of times when the night was just a fog, and I couldn't remember what was reality or a dream, or completely forgot an event completely.

I also have a lifestyle that I am afraid to change. I love my friends and they are all about drinking. But it came to the point where I felt I was not myself anymore and maybe they just might like me better as me than that drunk idiot I have become. It is worth it to take care of yourself, do it for yourself, not for your social life. You will have your body forever. Your friends, maybe not.

[Wannabsober]

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Oh also, I wanted to tell you, I went back and re-read your first post.
You are the only one that can decide if you need to stop drinking. But my experience is VERY similar to yours. I also have a 5 year old. Much of my motivation was my child. Much of my hesitation was the social drinking which I do not want to give up. That is what got me to buy the MWO book, the moderation concept. I have to say that after one week I am a changed person and although it is still very new at this point I feel this is the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I did go into this program full force, highly motivated so that may have helped but hey if you are in that place I urge you to give it a try. Best of luck to you and your family.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Hi letgo,

I agree with you. Drinking does take it's toll as we get older. I'm 47 and I've noticed that, too. I was having nightly blackouts before joining MWO. I don't have those anymore and it's not a good thing to have, especially with kids in the house, as I also have.

Yes, please do read the book. It changed my life.

Take care and I'm so glad you're here :l
Becoming

[Starlight Impress Forever]

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Hi letgo and welcome.

Well, I think you`ve already formed your own opinion as regards blacking out. I too used to black out and feel that black-outs are pretty much the end of the road for an alcoholic. Blacking out also says it`s time to quit drinking for good. I did........wasn`t easy, but.......I have no regrets.

I wish you the best.

Star x

[letgo]

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Thanks again for everyone's input. I just ordered the book at Amazon and I'll get it this week.

This is by far the most unique and helpful resource I've come across regarding alcohol addiction.

I really look forward to reading the book.

Be in t uch soon.