Made another a** of myself again...

[motoxgal]

New here, was searching and searching for help somewhere. Don't want to go to treatment, but can't seem to stop drinking EVERY day, when I tell myself each day I won't. I justify it by being stressed or what ever else excuse sounds good enough (doesn't take much convincing). Went to friend's home who's mother just died, they were having a gathering, I was drunk - blubbering all over the place, making a fool of myself. Can't believe I did that! I just hate that - or my typical 'drunk dialing'. I hide it from my husband and kids - or try to. He's getting more clever and he is not sure how to effectively confront, even buys it for me if I ask. I even started drinking at work! Vodka and pop, later in the afternoon. Never woulda thought I'd stoop that low to get a buzz, next I'll be having it in my coffee! I'm a drunk. Got a DUII, 12 years ago, stopped drinking immediately, didn't start again until one year ago. Not one drop in that time and after two glasses of wine, it all began again - just like they say! Unhappy at home is what my counselor tells me and don't want to confront the real issues, therefore, I drown myself before I get there. Does this sound similar to anyone else? I'm too embarrassed to really tell anyone besides my counselor and a couple close friends.

[A Work in Progress]

Made another a** of myself again...

Sounds similar to just about everyone here...

Welcome, do some reading around here on the site, and you'll get a lot of help and encouragment!

wip

[hart]

Made another a** of myself again...

((((Motoxgal)))

Yup it sounds real familar. By the grace of God I never got caught drunk driving. And I will admit I haven't drank and drove for years, now. They don't just slap one on the wrist anymore it can be jail the first time. And I am not cut out to be nobody's bitch!

Seriously, you do sound like you need help. Drinking at work is a slippery slope hon, and if you get fired that will just insure you have more reason and time to drink.

I would talk to your doc about some rx. Check out the Topa/Campral post for what others take, Campral worked for me. And there are lots of natural supplements too, that work and aren't as costly.

Only you can do it, not for your hubby or kids, but for yourself. :welcome:

[gelgit]

Made another a** of myself again...

Good for you for coming here. You're going get a lot more friends and much good advice and help from this site. But, most of all, we all know that there is only one person in this world that can really help you and love you more than anyone else. we're all here to help ourselves and each other get through to that one person. Welcome:welcome:

[tlrgs]

Made another a** of myself again...

:hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:

[1morechance]

Made another a** of myself again...

Motoxgal, welcome. by coming to this site you've accomplished a lot for today. don't lose hope we're in this together. drinking at work is a huge sign that you need help; get the book and the supplements. it's not easy but i've read many posts that give me hope so read as much as you can and don't give up. I've been coming here since march and it's been a rollercoster but I keep coming back and getting support from the posts. We are all here for you. hang in there

[Sunbeam]

Made another a** of myself again...

My husband has always purchased most of the wine in our house. He called my drinking "my problem". He was right. With the help of MWO, I now have my life back!

[gyco]

Made another a** of myself again...

hi MO,at least you recognise you have a problem,this is a great site,lots of know how,gees and maybe your not like all of us,treatment for some is good,it was for me,as far as him buying it for you ,you no if he didnt you would find a way,welcom were here for you gyco

[Jas56]

Made another a** of myself again...

Moto - you have just about repeated my story hon. It is one day at a time for me - hugs.

[motoxgal]

Made another a** of myself again...

Wow! I can't believe how kind you all are here. Thanks for the support. Didn't drink tonight, guess that's one up for me! First in a few weeks now. Just got a prescription for anibuse (sic)... we'll see. Tomorrow is a new day.

[lil.michelle]

Made another a** of myself again...

Hi hun!
I'm sooo sorry you're having to deal with this. I two, used to drink at work, god, i even got caught but thank godness my mum is the boss. I used to sneak drink, hide bottles around the house so noone would know how much i was drinking. The drunk phone calls, emails, text and online chatting..... AHH, it all comes flooding back just HOW much of an a** i made of myself.
You've come to the right place. The people and support are amazing but for this to work, YOU need to want to do this for YOU. How about getting some supplements into you like kuduz or l-glut to help with any cravings you may get? Make sure ALL the drink is out of the house, tell your hubby NOT to buy you drink and get on this wagoon!

[DeeBee]

Made another a** of myself again...

Welcome, welcome, welcome!!!

I always thought I hid my drinking quite well from my hubby but to be honest he knew exactly what I was getting up to... funny how we try and kid ourselves.

I have never drunk at work but that is because I work half day so yes, I too used to drink from anytime from 1pm onwards. Some nights hubby would come home from work and I would be ready to pass out. Not pretty and not something I am proud of. But it is the past and I am working hard on creating a future where I am in control of my life -- not AL and you can too!

[motoxgal]

Made another a** of myself again...

I've thought about asking my husband to not have any alcohol in the house, but think he would not handle that too well - most likely saying that it's MY problem, not his. Hope not to drink today as well. Last night was so great being sober, I ACTUALLY heard what my kids were saying to me and actually absorbed it and responded appropriately. Didn't even smoke one cig, which is what I do when I drink. I got a prescrip. for anibuse, haven't taken the first one yet - can't until tomorrow, payday. Thanks again for the support. I do want to do this for myself, can't stand to wake up everyday thinking what a huge looser I am. Sometimes, don't even know what I did or said the night before, but because I do so many stupid things and repeat myself over and over - I know that there is ALWAYS something I did wrong the night before.

[motoxgal]

Made another a** of myself again...

I don't really talk to him TOO much about stopping drinking, although I should. He holds it over my head and uses it against me if I fail too much, therefore, I've lost the 'trust' factor in this process with him. I DO want to do what is absolutely right for me though. Maybe after a few days, closer to the weekend, I will certainly bring it up. I hope I can stay sober this week!!! The funeral for my friend's mom is on Friday - that is a "prime" drinking excuse. I hope I can be strong. No - I WILL BE STRONG. I WANT THIS TOO BAD!!!

[42cat]

Made another a** of myself again...

Hi ... Nice to meet you ... you sound a lot like me .... except you took the step to tell someone and get a prescription ... I haven't found the courage to do that yet, but, belive me, it's always on my mind. I usually wake up sober and the first things that enter my mind are (a) wow, I sure wish I could stay sober all the time ... and (b) plotting my next drink. Talk about a struggle in my mind.

Please let me (us) know how the Antabuse works for you? That's one that I've wanted to ask for ... because once you take it, you can't drink or you get sick, right? I think that's what I need.

Thanks for posting.