.... been reading the boards after a long hiatus, and just realized that I could use some help here too on another front. Putting my own problems aside, or, because of my own problems, I am not dealing with the situation in my son's family well. Other than staying AF so that only one of us is wasted. Here's the stats.
Son, mid 30's wife of 5 years just left for a job 180 miles away. The mortgage payments and such. Son works sporadically but is always tired because he says he is so busy and overworked and stressed out by a bitchy wife and an active 3 year old. Won't EVER admit it's the pot and the booze with a zanax chaser. Been to rehab and counseling but says that all the pros tell him that he is just fine but has too many stresses in his life from other people. Whole family has a bipolar history on top of the alkies. With the wife gone, I'm helping take care of the toddler (especially during daddy's 10 hour daytime "naps".
I'm angry at him. I won't listen to his "I'm so busy BS especially when NOTHING ever gets finished or even started. He's sarcastic and I'm not taking it cooly and calmly anymore. I don't like talking about what's going on with other family members, but who else can I talk to and all are deeply concerned?? The word is slowly getting out among the neighborhood and friends and I hate that. He can be such a wonderful person but we seldom see that side of him anymore. I'm angry at him for not being, at least on the surface, "functional" like the rest of this troubled family managed to be.
He's sarcastic, superior, and holier than thou righteous. I'm getting bitchier and gossipy and judgmental. This situation has to change before it gets to the child. I never say anything negative about daddy in the child's hearing. But, he is so bright, I know he catches on to the tones in our voices. I need to get off my high horse, not because I have control of the situation but because I know that the problem is getting worse.
I need some pointers here. Any advice on how to deal with the situation? How do I mitigate my anger? Yes, I pray a lot.
g.
Son, mid 30's wife of 5 years just left for a job 180 miles away. The mortgage payments and such. Son works sporadically but is always tired because he says he is so busy and overworked and stressed out by a bitchy wife and an active 3 year old. Won't EVER admit it's the pot and the booze with a zanax chaser. Been to rehab and counseling but says that all the pros tell him that he is just fine but has too many stresses in his life from other people. Whole family has a bipolar history on top of the alkies. With the wife gone, I'm helping take care of the toddler (especially during daddy's 10 hour daytime "naps".
I'm angry at him. I won't listen to his "I'm so busy BS especially when NOTHING ever gets finished or even started. He's sarcastic and I'm not taking it cooly and calmly anymore. I don't like talking about what's going on with other family members, but who else can I talk to and all are deeply concerned?? The word is slowly getting out among the neighborhood and friends and I hate that. He can be such a wonderful person but we seldom see that side of him anymore. I'm angry at him for not being, at least on the surface, "functional" like the rest of this troubled family managed to be.
He's sarcastic, superior, and holier than thou righteous. I'm getting bitchier and gossipy and judgmental. This situation has to change before it gets to the child. I never say anything negative about daddy in the child's hearing. But, he is so bright, I know he catches on to the tones in our voices. I need to get off my high horse, not because I have control of the situation but because I know that the problem is getting worse.
I need some pointers here. Any advice on how to deal with the situation? How do I mitigate my anger? Yes, I pray a lot.
g.
ray:
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