I am just wondering.......

[angeleyes]

After reading the MWO book, and following the system for some time, I am finding that it is not working AT ALL for me.

My question is this: The book only covers about 3 weeks in the recovery period of Rhonda and her friend Brenda, and even then they have not completely sustained from drinking. WHY, WHY, WHY are we hanging our hopes on their methodology on fixing a problem that is so obviously beyond the scope of supplements, a drug prescribed for migraines, and a support system of complete strangers????

Does ANYONE even have any idea if Rhonda (not her real name) or Brenda (not her real name either) is even sober at this point?? Why do we never hear from her? We continue to give her money with our subscribtions to her service, and yet, I feel like we are hanging out here while she is raking in the dough?? Am I alone in this?? I am not knocking her, I appreciate what she has tried to do, but after months and months of her program, I am not finding the results she preaches in her book. Just my thoughts.

[chiizus]

I am just wondering.......

I've wondered the same things myself, but dared not ask as I am very new here. It seems like the program works for some people better than others. I would be very curious to know what had happened to the women in the book say, a year later.

It never hurts to ask questions.

[lushy]

I am just wondering.......

I think your points are very valid, but it is also important to understand that nothing is a magic pill. The supplements are a very small part in helping our brain to put back in what alcohol has taken out, and the CDs work for some and not for others. If there was a quick fix I think we would have all found it by now.

Having said that, it would be nice to have an update from RJ and Brenda to see how they are today.

[Ask For Help]

I am just wondering.......

My thoughts

The MWO program described in Roberta's book is about moderating alcohol, not abstaining from alcohol. Many here have succeeded in moderation. Many here have sucessfully begun living life alcohol free.

I, for one, have found the program to be immensely helpful in achieving moderation over that past 10+ months. The site is free, unless you choose to support with a subscription membership.

The support of others is a key element in many programs including AA, so not surprising to be a key component here. I found hearing other folks speak their stories, challenges and successes made me feel less alone in my struggle.

Hoping you get more responses to your questions.

Ask

[A Work in Progress]

I am just wondering.......

Recovering from alcohol dependence is a very difficult thing. There are NO treatment programs that have good long-term success rates... and this (MWO) is really not a treatment program, but an outline of a plan for some suggested interventions that a person can use, on her own. They have helped some people. They helped me.

It's important to remember that the most important ingredient in any treatment program or plan to quit drinking is the determination of the individual who needs to quit. If she is determined to get the alcohol out of her life, she can do it without any help at all; but she is more likely to succeed with the help of some support mechanisms (or interventions like medications, exercise, supplements, a good support system, etc). If she is not determined and committed to quitting, nothing in the world will be "enough" and nothing in the world will "work" for her.

I agree that the book presents a too-rosy picture of the whole process and likely outcome. And I wish this program were not advertised and promoted as an "easy" way to quit drinking, or an "easy" way to learn to moderate one's alcohol consumption...

wip

[smokey1949]

I am just wondering.......

Angel,

As someone said MWO isn't a magic potion and it works better for some than for others. I also think it depends on the severity of your drinking problem and how comitted -- really committed you are to quit.

I ordered the supplements at first and they didn't work all that great. The Kudzu I think reduces your tolerance so you don't dink as much. The vitamins restore nutients that alcohol has robbed from you. The tapes are good for putting you to sleep.

What's helped me most is a small circle of friends here who have offered their support. Reading the posts also helps - read the one entitled What do you hate most about drinking - that one helped me a lot. I'm 14 Days AF today and it's the reading and friends that have helped the most.

Feel free to PM if you'd like.

[angeleyes]

I am just wondering.......

Exactly. You nailed it WIP. I know upon reading the book I felt "this was the answer". So many times I have read peoples threads desperately waiting for their Topa to arrive - as if it was a magic pill and suddenly alcohol would no longer rule their world. This is not reality, and I do not think it should be promoted as such.

I am certain that this website has been helpful to so many who have felt alone, as I have too. But are we promoting a cure that DOES NOT WORK? I guess it is possible that some problem drinkers can successfully "moderate". But I think by the time most of us are seeking help, we are way too far gone to even consider ourselves "problem drinkers". Let's face it - we're alcoholics. Let's not sugar-coat it, and pretend we can have 1 or 2 and not want 10. If that was the case, you would not be on this website.

[akgirl]

I am just wondering.......

This is an interesting thread. I wondered the same thing in the beginning and posted something similar. (Success vs failure.) Some do it with nothing. Some like you try everything with no success. Me, I'm trying everything and doing okay but not great. I think they key is not the supps, meds this site or any of it.....its the individual. Plain and simple. All of these things are just tools that can help.

I agree and felt the same way about how it was portrayed as "the answer". But I am in advertising and that is true with anything.

:l
Ak

[A Work in Progress]

I am just wondering.......

So, angeleyes, I guess that the next question is: given that we know it is NOT going to be easy to quit abusing alcohol, and that there is NO easy solution, what WILL we (you) do?

For me, the only answer is this: we have to learn to tolerate discomfort. We have to give up the wish/dream that there is an easy or easier way through this problem. We have to be willing to feel the discomfort of:

• wanting to drink
• strong emotions
• problems in relationshipslosing jobsfinancial disasters

without drinking. It certainly is within our capacity to do these things. Most of us can do it more easily with some kind of help, preferably several kinds of help. But each and every one of us is capable of deciding NOT to pour that alcohol down our throats!

It's simple. Not easy, at all, but simple.

wip

[angeleyes]

I am just wondering.......

What will I do? Good question. My plan was to follow the MWO program, become the sober happy person I know is hiding somewhere within me, and live a great life.

Learning how to tolerate discomfort without drinking is not something I know how to do. I am probably at the lowest point of my life right now, recently divorced, no job, and I think I may be going through menopause. The truth is I don't know how to even make it through the day, let alone make a long term plan. I know I need help, but I don't know what to do. I live in a very small town - AA is out of the question.

[A Work in Progress]

I am just wondering.......

You are facing some difficult circumstances. And, yes, it's hard. I'd suggest you do it, anyway. Don't expect it to be easy... there are NO quick fixes. You said something in your first post about "strangers"--one thing that can help is if you come here more often, post on a regular AF thread (there's a wonderful daily AF thread in the section called Monthly Abstinence), and get to know people. The support you can get here is, in my opinion, much more effective than any medication that exists, anywhere.

Being a "sober happy person" and living a "great life" are wonderful long-term goals, and very much reachable, if you take the time and do the work to get there! Set up mileposts and short-term goals that will help you get there... 30 days AF; exercising 5 days a week; spiritual practice; changing up your routine to include a new, healthy, and/or creative activity... stuff like that will get you where you want to go...

wip

[angeleyes]

I am just wondering.......

Alrighty then. Here are my short term goals:

- I will not drink today
- I will get a job, even if it's at WalMart (way beneath my skills)
- I will go for a 5 mile walk every day
- I will not drink today
- I will lose 20 pounds in the next 2 months
- I will not drink today

Thanks for your support. Your right, it does help to talk to "strangers".

[A Work in Progress]

I am just wondering.......

GREAT!!! Good for you, angeleyes!! Remember, keep at it, and also be flexible (revise the plan, as needed). Often it's a matter of two steps forward, one step back... and that's perfectly OK! Just keep your eyes on the prize (sober and healthy, with a good, meaningful life)!

wip

[BecomingMeAtLast]

I am just wondering.......

angeleyes,

That's how I set my goals, quite honestly, when it comes to drinking and I'm putting in more and more AF days this way. I say, I will not drink today and I am feeling better and better each day. The supplements are making me feel better (most of them I don't order off this site, I get them cheaper elsewhere) and the more AF days I put in, the better I feel.

I started on this site in Mar 2008, left it and came back when I realized I was back up to 2 bottles of wine a night and feeling terrible. There is something about sharing here with others that helps me tremendously.

I agree with the book's coming across as the MWO program as being magic and I also agree it would be very professional of RJ to do an update for the people who support her/him.

So, I ain't drinking today, either, buddy, and I love your honesty. It's refreshing. :l
Becoming

[dingbat]

I am just wondering.......

angeleyes;472609 wrote: Alrighty then. Here are my short term goals:

- I will not drink today
- I will get a job, even if it's at WalMart (way beneath my skills)
- I will go for a 5 mile walk every day
- I will not drink today
- I will lose 20 pounds in the next 2 months
- I will not drink today

Thanks for your support. Your right, it does help to talk to "strangers".

I actually think this is too much at once. How about just "I will not drink today" for a very short term goal, ie. today and "I will get a job" as a longer term goal, say, within the next month, to begin with? Maybe add in a "I will take a walk" with no mileage requirement. I believe that in the very beginning, baby steps are essential. Many people just feel happy with meeting the "I won't drink today" goal! If you're trying to stop drinking, get a job, and lose twenty pounds all at the same time it may be a little much to bite off.

Of course, I'm only on day 13, so I'm no expert. I do know that if I felt I had to do all of those things at once I'd go batty!