Tough start of AF # 4

[healthypaw]

Tough start of AF # 4

You are pretty much in the same boat as I am. I am on day 24 now- the longest I have gone since my youngest was born- he turns 4 in January. You got past day 4(that is the worst) so that is good. I also have one beer and then drink the case. I don't know what will happen the next time I have a drink, kind of scares me. We are not like a lot of people. During this process I thought to myself, go ahead one beer won't kill you. A lot of people drink a couple of beer every night. I can't do that, so that means I can't drink.

I don't have a lot of advice- I try to keep real busy ans run on the treadmill now. Still, I think about the alcohol a lot. I feared that I couldn't make it this far, but if I did it I know you can.

If you fail, keep trying

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Tough start of AF # 4

Hey Paw!

I think I found those 16 pounds you lost. Do you want them back? :H

Be

[JAMMS]

Tough start of AF # 4

Welcome Spiritgirl :welcome:

Paw- the tree decorating went well, my tree rotates so my daughter was is loving it...we ate alot of snacks that night so, yesterday she was not feeling to good.....but she is better today...

Be- I can't stop freakin' eating!!!! Any idea if this is related to AF or supps or what? I feel like I'm gonna explode soon.

Well guys listen to the drama I had last night....."the cousin" came up from his room around 6 pm ish....and tried to go upto the bathroom..my hubby was napping on the couch before he went to "darts" anyway, I was doing homework with my 7 year old and the baby was running around....when I looked up "the cousin" was passing out trying to get up the stairs I ran to him.....pushing up to the landing where he could lay, the kids were at the bottom of the stairs, my boy knew enough to get him and his little sister out of the way cause I thought we were falling down the stairs, I managed to get him to the landing where I had to slap him around and get him to drink some juice.....he was completely dehydtrated and said he did not eat the day before..(all he did was drink and drugs) Well needless to say my husband was pissed when I told him.....he is going to talk to him today.....he has to be out by the new year.

[SpiritGirl]

Tough start of AF # 4

Paw,

Thanks for the kind words - even though it may not like feel like you have "good advice" your encouragement and ability to be able to relate is so helpful. Unfortunately, I had the "one" glass of wine last night. It turned into 3. Could have been worse, and would have been if the restaurant wasn't closing. Sooooo... Day 1 AGAIN...

Have you lost weight since going AF? I saw the post after yours. I would love the hear about how healthy you feel now - it will inpsire me !

Thanks again!

BecomingMe, Are you still taking Topa? Does it work for you? I just ordered some and would love to know about your experience!

[healthypaw]

Tough start of AF # 4

pretty funny "be" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nope got to lose another 55 to be where Iwas four years ago.

Jamms that cousin needs the crap kicked out of him. I am glad he has to be out. Family can only do so much. Your life will be a lot easier without that around you. A rotating tree, holy cow what they won't make!!!!

Spirit-- You have to find a reason deep inside you to want to quit or at least moderate. Mine was my weight and over all health-- when I woke up one night after drinking and I couldn't breath(I weighed 292 lsb was 215 when married 7 years ago) it scared me. My wife had been on my ass for drinking for a while but ultimately I had to want to do it for me. I feel great great-- I won't make it to day 30-- my streak will stop at 27 because saturday I am going to try and have a couple beers to see how I do-- a x-mas party.

[JAMMS]

Tough start of AF # 4

Be, where are you?

[JAMMS]

Tough start of AF # 4

Day 4 for me again!

Not doing well this morning, fought with hubby last night, I completely jumped all over him because he wanted to do laundry. Don't ask....I don't know what happend. I was back to the crazy unmedicated me for a little bit...maybe I should double my dosage. He came home at about 3am and woke me up to see if I was "feeling better" and then asked me if "we were ok" I said yes to both and he kissed me goodnight. So there is definetly an approvement with the Hubby. It's all me....I get nuts sometimes...maybe I'm bi-polar or something.

Anyway, Day #4 again.....and it's freakin' friday....ARGHH!!! I took some kudzu this morning and I will take more later this evening...this way IF I have a glass of wine...I won't want to binge.....I am forcing myself in the shower right now. I gotta snap out of this, I'm gonna blast my radio with some BonJovi...I LOVE BONJOVI!!!! That should help me....I'll be back later.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Tough start of AF # 4

It's My Life!

I'm right here!

This is for you, Jamms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL8zPwA7OmM[/video]]YouTube - Jon Bon Jovi - It's My Life [LIVE]

Be

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Tough start of AF # 4

Paw,

I solved my dreaded treadmill problem. I'm using the WII Fit! It's so much more fun!
Be careful at the party, ok? This is coming from an old fart who's been there. Take
care.

Be
PS I do NOT want those 55 lbs, I haven't gained that much, no way! LOL

[healthypaw]

Tough start of AF # 4

Jamms, Be and spirit and others, day 27 AF is now gone. I caved in even before the x-mas party. I feel like I have made great progress- but I need to work on more. Thinking now that my marriage wasn't in trouble because of my drinking. And so what do I do, drink because it makes me think it is the problem.

[JAMMS]

Tough start of AF # 4

Our My Way.

Paw- 27 days is a long time my friend be proud of it! I can't seem to make it past 4-6 days...I just opened a bottle of french wine that my hubby found in my fathers work shop at our second home. It used to be my dads he passed away 3 4th of July's ago. Any way, don't beat yourself up about it....you've made a great acomplishment.:goodjob:
Try not to over do it if your drinking tonight and tomorrow night, check out some of the "Rules for MOD" thread in the moderation forum. I forget exactly where it is at the moment. I wil be thinking of you. :l

Be- :thanks: That was great!!!! That song was very appropriate for the way I'm feeling right now...missing my dad I mean...you see, his song was "MY Way" (Frank Sinatra) and "It's My Life" is my generations "My Way" I used to sing them both with my dad...I sang My Way at a memorial for him...anyway, perfect timing.....I haven't heard it since this morning...:l

[JAMMS]

Tough start of AF # 4

Paw and Be- I lost the post I started..any way, I drank some wine and then 2 drinks of vodak and peach icetea......it's 2 a.m. and I'm so pissed at myself......so sorry....
gotta go

P.S. Paw I hope you are OK:l
talk soon

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Tough start of AF # 4

Paw,

First, I want to apologize to you for the 55 lbs comment in my last post to you on this thread. As soon as I posted it I felt like a snob. I'm really sorry about that. :sulk:

Second, did you read where I said to be careful? I had a sneaky suspision something was up with you. I don't know. It was in your threads. I could "feel" your resolve loosening. I was worried about you. Remember, it takes one to know one, I'm not judging at all, I promise you. :l

Marriage is tough. It sounded, at the beginning of your posts, like you were blaming all of your marital problems on your drinking. While I'm sure the drinking didn't help matters, it takes two. I'm no expert but I'm willing to guess your wife isn't perfect? When my husband began cutting back I began to realize what a bitch I could be. I hardly ever thanked him for the things he did. I really wasn't appreciating him. It seemed as if I could find fault in almost anything he did instead of being grateful. I really had to take a good hard look at myself. I still do. I'm working at it. I'm beginning to appreciate him more and when I f* up, I apologize.

So, you've learned something and that's great! That's what this journey is all about. When's the last time you were 27 days AF? Don't ever take that away from yourself. I'd be willing to bet there a lot of people on this forum who would love to be able to do what you did. Be proud of yourself, I'm proud of you.

Where will you go from here? Just begin a new plan. Start new. It's a new day. :h

Take care,
Be

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Tough start of AF # 4

Aw Jamms,

I'm sorry :soothe:

It's especially rough when you've mixed. I did that about a week ago and was so upset with myself. I hadn't taken my supps and BOOM, there I was.

Can you go AF today with lots of water? Let me know how you are, ok buddy?

Take care,
Be

[JAMMS]

Tough start of AF # 4

Be- I think I'm ok....I'm trying to be. The hubby and boys have left to go to hockey/work. My daughter is taking a nap, I'm eating and drinking water. I am not as anxious as I usually am, I'm trying to re-live last night and to remember some stuff. Not to kill myself over it but, to try and figure out "why" I do these things. I found two glasses on my dresser, I remember coming downstairs to post and smoke a cig, and I made myself ANOTHER DRINK and went back in my room....what a F'ing loser!!!! Damn. mental note don't do that anymore
I'm pissed about my "drunk posting" I feel as if I've let that nasty demon into the one place that makes me feel the best. He's poisoned my "safe place". I'm gonna get that bastard!

I gotta talk to hubby when he gets home...don't remember..you know...I remember bits and peices of our intamacy. I wanna tell him and hear what we did, then I think I'm going to talk to him about maybe asking my Dr. if he'll put me on meds for AL. I obviously need to re-think about MOD. I think after new year I should go AF, try the 30 day thing, maybe meds will help me.

Thank you for worrying about me, it feels good, I'll be OK today. :l

Paw!- You okay pal? I'm thinking about you.:l