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Why Cant I Stop??????

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    #1

    Why Cant I Stop??????

    This is my first time posting here.... so here goes. Im 48 on Saturday, and have been drinking heavily for a long time now. Last August, I woke up yellow. Thought it was just something in my system, so drank lots and lots of water to wash it out - also drank lots of alcohol. Eventually went to the doctor who admitted me immediately to hospital. I have cirrhosis and alcoholic hepatitis. I was told if I drank again it would kill me. I didnt have a drink for 60 days after that, but I didnt really sleep for 60 nights either, and when I cant sleep, I cant function. I would have thought that having stopped for that long, that my system would have gone back to relative normality, but it didnt, so I had a drink again one night, and I slept. So of course, then I didnt stop. One drink the next night wasnt enough, a week later I was back to 2 bottles a day. Im struggling now to even keep it at 2 bottles.Its been a month now since I went back drinking, and for the 1st time ever Im lying to my family about it. Told them last night I wouldnt have a drink, but I waited till they were all gone to bed, and then downed a bottle of wine.
    I have gone back to my GP, who is fairly new to me as my older GP has been out sick for 4 years, and he gave me Xanax and Stil Noct sleeping tablets. But they dont really make me sleep. Ive gone to AA meetings, and came back full of good intentions, but the fear of not being able to sleep, and not being able to function the next day took me to the off licence fairly quickly. Off Licences here close at 10pm, which I didnt know, and one night I bullied my husband into taking me to the pub for just 2 drinks so I could sleep with the sleeping tablets. Has anyone else encountered not being able to sleep for longer than an hour for over 60 nights, and still managed to function normally during the day?
    Thanks to anyone who takes the time and trouble to read this.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Why Cant I Stop??????

    Cathy,

    First off, the sleep you get from alcohol is not true sleep. You never reach a good REM stage.

    We have spent a lifetime using alcohol to help us "sleep" and it has been a complete lie.

    I can't imagine going 60 days without sleep, I think I would be in a hospital, but I do know that you are not really sleeping and the lack thereof has got to be horrible.

    If you keep drinking, though....

    I don't want to go there.

    Please go back to the doctor and get some help for the sleep.

    Do not drink. Easier said than done, I know.

    Love,
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

    Comment

      #3
      Why Cant I Stop??????

      Welcome Cathy!
      I honestly can't comprehend sleeping for an hour for 60 days. I used to bitch if my sleep was interruped a couple of times due to toilet breaks but nothing like you are experiencing.
      Have you tried the MWO program? My sleeping patterns are great now that I have my AL consumption under control. Even one glass of the juice and I can feel the difference when I wake up in the morning.

      Wishing you all the best:-)
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

      Comment

        #4
        Why Cant I Stop??????

        Hi Cathy - and welcome! 60 days, woah. When I stopped drinking I had problems sleeping too - the first 3 nights I didn't sleep at all and experienced quite a bit of anxiety over it. I took valerian root which helped (I at least got more than 1 hours sleep), probably wouldn't make any difference to you if you've already been prescribed sleeping meds. But I agree with Cindi, I'd see your doctor again if what you've been given isn't working for you.

        Oh yeah, sorry about my avatar... it's just a coincidence, honest! Maybe I'll change it, LOL!
        Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

        Comment

          #5
          Why Cant I Stop??????

          Cathy--

          I've never had problems with sleep, but many here have. PLEASE stick around, get the book and do WHATEVER it takes to stop NOW!
          A good friend of mine died this year of liver failure--when she got sick she was yellow-when she died she was almost orange, and trust me it was not a pleasant way to go. She was 50 years old! Time to wake up!!
          _______________
          NF since June 1, 2008
          AF since September 28, 2008
          DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
          _____________
          :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
          5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
          _______________
          The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

          Comment

            #6
            Why Cant I Stop??????

            Hi Cathy,
            Firstly I sympathise with your situation! It's a terrible thing when the bottle takes control of our lives!!!!
            Why it happens is a total mystery! But taking into consideration the state of your health right now, you must seek medical help ASAP! I too have problems sleeping and convince myself that I can't get to sleep without a glass or two.....or 3 or 4 etc! Yet in the past I have actually managed a peaceful sleep without it and have been absoutely amazed the following morning! No doubt you've got lost of people who care about you and are worrried for your future! Do you know the reason for your drinking? Or is it habitual? Please stay on this site as we're all routing for you! We care for your well being! Keep the people you care about in mind.......we/they just want you to get well again! Don't give up....you're in good hands here! Never say never....one day you can be AF with the right help! Stay in touch. Pm me if you want. Take good care of yourself x
            Three F's . . .

            Family ~ Fun ~ Future

            I want them back in my life

            Comment

              #7
              Why Cant I Stop??????

              Cathy, my mother died of liver cancer. It was a very agonizing death. At the end her body would fill up with fluids and they could no longer drain them. Ultimately she drowned in her own body. Terrible words? Yes they are. Just hoping you listen to them.

              Comment

                #8
                Why Cant I Stop??????

                Cathy,
                Wish my life was as simple as yours..... you only have to decide between two choices.
                Die of liver cancer.
                Have disturbed sleep for a while.

                And you are asking us why can't you stop? From your post it looks like you've made the choice already.
                Am I being harsh??? You bet I am.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Why Cant I Stop??????

                  Cathy,
                  I have nerve damage due to al abuse I'm 45. If I drink I will die. my nervous system will shut down and my heart will stop peroid DEAD. I have too much to live for as you do to. I thought that it wasn't the al that cause the damage Guess what I was wrong Stop drinking now! Due to the pain of my burning skin I couldn't sleep for a month I was living in hell. No one understands how your body functions with out sleep unlesss they go thru it . I feel your Pain.Now 2 1/2 months AF and 6 weeks of sleep my life couldn't be better. my mind gets clearer every day and I feel Like I have a second chance at life.Stop drinking get healthly and start tommorrow as the first day of the rest of your life. good luck

                  Comment

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