Starting Over

[akgirl]

Well, here I go again?Day 1. I found this wonderful place the beginning of September. I got all my tools in place and started to make a plan. I was very excited. I can?t say I was huge success right off but I finally started stringing more and more AF days together, even got to nine. All the while Topa and Kuzu made it very easy to mod. I had a few times where I overdid it but I was happy with my overall progress. I was drinking so much less. So I got to thinking, maybe I don?t want to go AF, I?ll just stay like this.

That?s when I got overconfident, and along with some added stress, winter blues.?.. I feel like I?m heading right back to where I was. I haven?t kept up with the meds and CDs like I should. I?m not exercising. All I know is it?s very easy to slip back into the AL rut, and go back to old routines. You have to fight hard to make sobriety your new routine. You have to stick with your plan. That?s what I need to do, figure out how to make my new routine stick.

I?m disappointed with myself, but I am a fighter?..I may be starting over, but I will never give up. Anyone else out there starting over?

:l
Ak

[A Work in Progress]

Starting Over

akgirl.... keep on being a fighter! I'm cheering for you...

You've learned something from this, and now you can put it to good use!

[Guitarista]

Starting Over

Hi there Ak girl... I've tried modding heaps of times...went af for a couple of mths. back thinking i could break the cycle and mod...nup!...af again, went back thinking i'd broken the cycle and could mod?..nup!. worked for a couple of weeks each time, then back into heavy drinking patterns/same old routine. But i learnt from this. I had to go through it to realise, which is unfortunate of course, and deadly! At least you're questioning yourself about this. I'm almost 30 days af, still early days i know, but going for long term sobriety. The difference for me is, i now know i can't mod, and the battle within b/tween modding, and sobriety is over. I find this so much easier. G.

[YoungAtHeart]

Starting Over

I'm not starting over, thank goodness, but I had to start over quite a few times before I got it right. I've been AF for a long time now, and I hope I never have to have a Day 1 again.

Keep on trying, akgirl, you have what it takes. Just don't try to fool yourself that you can do something you can't. ;-)

[angeleyes]

Starting Over

I'm starting over too, akgirl, as you know. I have nothing to give you for advice, I just know that with your fabulous heart and spirit, you can do anything you want to do. Maybe you'll have 100 Day 1's. So what. It took me 1000 Day 1's to quit smoking, then one day I just realized I was so tired of "trying" to quit, and I just quit. I know someday we both are going to reach that point with drinking too. Yes, we are.

[IAD]

Starting Over

Ak......their is no sin in starting over, The sin is in giving up ! We may try 100 times......and fail.....the fact that we keep trying is where their is hope ! IAD.

[angeleyes]

Starting Over

AK - DID YOU SEE THE POLL??? THEIR DOING YOUR POLL!!!!!!!

[brittzak]

Starting Over

Keep fighting girl, I tell no lie when I say I could single handly make a whole dirt road alone with hte amount of dirt I have dusted off my ass after falls. Keep trying! Never stop...it will just click. There are some strong AF folks here....read their posts and plans to guide your path.

[akgirl]

Starting Over

angeleyes;474680 wrote: AK - DID YOU SEE THE POLL??? THEIR DOING YOUR POLL!!!!!!!

Yes, she was nice enough to PM me and ask, I wasn't sure how to do it. LOL, not my poll, just your thread made me curious.

[angeleyes]

Starting Over

It was your idea, and it will be interesting to see the results. Thanks to Noelle for putting it together!

[periwinkle]

Starting Over

We're all rooting for you AK girl!!! :cheering: You have a son who very much need for you to be there for him. I know you can do it!

periwinkle

[New Day]

Starting Over

Hi AKgirl ---- I haven't posted for the past week because I went back to my heavy drinking again. I thought I too had it more under control and could moderate, but no, a few days of moderating made me slip back to heavy drinking.
Have just come back from dinner out where I had 1 generous glass of wine and I made a cup of tea as soon as I got home, but I'm dying to have another glass right now.
Need to start over ... again!

[angeleyes]

Starting Over

New Day, I got nothing as far as words of wisdom. But tomorrow is a New Day. Start again, and maybe leave out that "generous glass of wine". One leads to wanting two. So try not to have one. I don't know, I'm new at this too.

[New Day]

Starting Over

Had to sign out and disappear for a little bit ... others in the room that i didn't want seeing what I was doing.
Everyone's gone out now ... it would be so easy to pour that glass of wine and enjoy, but I came back to read and post. Going to throw some L-Glut under my tongue to help deal with this urge.

[Guitarista]

Starting Over

Hi there New day... You got a plan?