Starting Over

[Boss.man]

Starting Over

AK I'm here with you. I thought I was doing good. But in the last 5 days I lost it totally. What's with this syndrome where the more I "recover" the more I act like an addict?

I'm AF starting TOMORROW. I live in total fear I would numb out Thanksgiving with my MIL in the house and family, like I did last year. I can't believe as we plan this year everyone says "Oh that's just like last year" and I can't remember.

I'm totally ashamed to admit my faults. People love me and I love them. I need to do better than just zone out.

[akgirl]

Starting Over

periwinkle;474691 wrote: We're all rooting for you AK girl!!! :cheering: You have a son who very much need for you to be there for him. I know you can do it!

periwinkle

Thank you, I am better, but not where I want to be.....Yet. You are all wonderful and I am glad to be here :l

[akgirl]

Starting Over

Two steps forward....one step back. Keep trying, it's all I know :boxer: Keep fighting!

[JAMMS]

Starting Over

akgirl- don't beat yourself up. You're an inspiration! You are strong..you can be AF!

[November Star]

Starting Over

Go on make that dream come true for al us old B.... drunks. It has to be worth the effort..

[akgirl]

Starting Over

Thanks everyone :l the support I get here helps

[A Work in Progress]

Starting Over

Boss.man;474747 wrote: AK I'm here with you. I thought I was doing good. But in the last 5 days I lost it totally. What's with this syndrome where the more I "recover" the more I act like an addict?

I'm AF starting TOMORROW. I live in total fear I would numb out Thanksgiving with my MIL in the house and family, like I did last year. I can't believe as we plan this year everyone says "Oh that's just like last year" and I can't remember.

I'm totally ashamed to admit my faults. People love me and I love them. I need to do better than just zone out.

Bossman, a BIG chunk of all this is about our thinking, and about our emotions. Thoughts, emotions, and behavior are in an extremely dynamic interdependent relationship. The way we think (especially the way we think about: our relationship with alcohol; and about our emotions) strongly influences our behavior. Impulses to drink, and decisions to drink, are driven by the thoughts we entertained, the emotions we ignored, and previous behavior we engaged in. All of that has to be managed and monitored, if we want to succeed.

So, if you have done really well (and you have!), and then you started drinking again, it would be really important to ask yourself: what were the thoughts that were running through your head before you took those first drinks? What were you telling yourself? What emotions were you feeling? When you experienced the impulse, or urge, to drink, how did you respond? What might you have done differently, now that you can look back and observe the situation from a distance?

Often, the thoughts we have just prior to a relapse include a lot of rationalizations and distortions about our relationship with alcohol. "I can handle it... I deserve a drink.... I can't get through this without a drink.... " and all the rest of that garbage... Distorted thinking. You can learn to recognize it and deal with it. It takes practice, but it CAN be done.

I do hope you have a wonderful and AF Thanksgiving!

wip

[cyclefan]

Starting Over

This is a neutral question, I preface it this way because sometimes typing doesn't come off as well as spoken word.

When the alcohol urge is so dominant why not use the hypnotherapy that goes along with the MWO program? I've found it wonderfully effective in my short time and granted it is a VERY short time for me but 20-30 minutes with the clearing or hypnotic CD and I'm good, calm and happy.

This is me wondering, not judging, and also asking about the effectiveness or not of the hypnotherapy for others. Thanks and good luck to everyone who is posting here to keep strong over the stressful holidays.

[Peanut]

Starting Over

Hey AK! I'm always starting over it seems. But I think it was you who said about marking in the calendar your AF days in green, rather than count. I've done that - and although I am not totally AF, going 2-3 days AF then caving - the calendar does have a fair number of green days (about half), which is better than no green days (like I used to be, drinking wine every day!). I just have to work at greening up the whole month!!!

I like the hypno CD's, but mostly the subliminal one, just for relaxing - I used to use it to help myself fall asleep, and I think I am going to get into that again. I go a few days AF, but don't sleep, then drink wine just so I can fall asleep. I must substitute the wine with the CD's next time!!!

xo peanut

[akgirl]

Starting Over

cyclefan;475158 wrote: This is a neutral question, I preface it this way because sometimes typing doesn't come off as well as spoken word.

When the alcohol urge is so dominant why not use the hypnotherapy that goes along with the MWO program? I've found it wonderfully effective in my short time and granted it is a VERY short time for me but 20-30 minutes with the clearing or hypnotic CD and I'm good, calm and happy.

This is me wondering, not judging, and also asking about the effectiveness or not of the hypnotherapy for others. Thanks and good luck to everyone who is posting here to keep strong over the stressful holidays.

Wish it was that easy. For me, although I love the CDs, I have to be in a certain frame of mind in order to"let go" enough for them to work. Life gets so busy sometimes. I know you have to make time but it's not that easy somedays.

[A Work in Progress]

Starting Over

How are you doing today, akgirl??

[1967]

Starting Over

wow it is good to read that i am not alone in my disillusions.
i went 4.5 months af and then started to drink again. i didn't even kid myself that i was going to try to moderate. i wanted to drink period.
whacky how strong alcohol is. it really takes on a life of it's own. i thought
'who cares if i drink or not? nobody that is who!"
well i need to care. and i don't want to waste anymore of my life being drunk.

[akgirl]

Starting Over

Just fine WIP, thanks. I deletd the other thread. Sorry it went bad.

[A Work in Progress]

Starting Over

Great! You're going to be just fine. It really is wonderful to see you moving forward in such a positive way.

Glad you deleted the other thread. Not your fault, by any means... I thought it was a nice idea! You just never know, around here.

wip

[akgirl]

Starting Over

A lot can get misunderstood, that's for sure.