Just found out

[Cinders]

Just found out

Hey, there!! Then don't be a drunk. Next time, you will be invited.

I understand the hurt and pain. Been there done that. Went past it. You can too. Do not dwell on how much they have hurt you, dwell on what you can do to make your relationships better. It IS a 2-way street.

Hope this doesn't sound too tough. It is tough but you must be able to deal with this stuff just like every day rough stuff.

We can do it. If I can do it, you can do it.

In the meantime, figure out what you can do for this Christmas, SOBER, that is fun, good and sharing the spirit that is intended.

Love,
Cindi

[Rachelita]

Just found out

Cinders;476897 wrote: Hey, there!! Then don't be a drunk.

That's my plan. Minus a slip on Friday, I have 7 days AF. I'm sleeping through the night, no shaking, no more sweating, feeling optimistic. Guess that's why finding out now stings like it does. Oh, Happy Birthday!

[Cinders]

Just found out

Rachelita,

Good on YOU!! You are on your way, then.

The rest of the family can take a hike, you are going to be healed.

Sorry for your pain in a big way.

Do not let it sting. Let this be a reminder of why you NEVER want to "go back there" again.

It hurts. It hurts us, it hurts them, it hurts everyone.

You are on your way out, you are going to beat this. You will be better off than any of them when you do. Why? Because you know hell and you know what it means. You and I do not want to go there again. It hurts.

Hang in there.

We will all be here for you if you need us.

I do hope you find an alternative that is even better. One where you are around people who do not judge, who need love in return, and who care.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Just found out

Oh, and Thank You on the Happy Birthday!!

Hubby is out of town, I am alone and kind of depressed but not drinking.

It is all about what we know we should do. I won't drink because I am alone on my birthday. It doesn't matter. It is just another day. I do deserve some special love from hubby but if he doesn't give it, so what?

I do what is right for me. No one else.

Love,
Cindi

[IAD]

Just found out

Rach.....We love ya here ! It's tough out their, too many people remember the day ( If you know what I mean ) Happy Birthday ! Don't let other people make you self destruct ! You need to be for you ! Live for yourself.....you'll make it. LOL IAD.

[Rachelita]

Just found out

Thanks Cinders, thanks IAD. I'm not sure what my alternative holiday plan could be, but I have time to think of something. I may ask a good friend of mine if I can spend it with his family. I haven't seen him in a while, so that might be nice.
Anyway, sitting here on a dreary rainy cold day with nothing to do. So I'm posting away and making some hot tea. Cheers!

[louise]

Just found out

Rachael,
Good job on the minimal drinking the past week. I'm sure finding out that the rest of the family is getting together and didn't invite you is very hurtful. But reading over some of your family issues, maybe right now it is better to be on your own? With some friends? Working extra hours at your new job instead of asking for time off so soon? Not staying away from family in an angry way (although that would be understandable), but in a "I'm growing up and living on my own" way, even though that can be very hard and lonely at first. (I remember those times - and I remember being bulimic). Just a thought. Plan something fun. Go to church, or a movie, or volunteer at a shelter or....

[savon19]

Just found out

I agree with Amelia. I think you should somehow just ask... Maybe just let her know that you don't have any plans for Christmas and would love to see everyone!!

What do you think she would say? Noooo, we really don't want you here?? And if she says that, well, now you know she's not really a "sister" and get on with your life.

(Whoops - hadn't read that you can't afford to go anyway when I posted the above! But I understand that it's still nice to be invited! Maybe they know you can't afford it, and they can't afford to pay your way out, so they didn't want to even bring it up? I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...)

[Leelou]

Just found out

[Old Quote from you-author] Anyways, please understand that I am not trying to imply that being sorry for ppl all the time is wrong. I just sometimes feel that it is out of place.

I think that ppl come here and read through posts quickly and post without the proper amount of thought? I donno. I'm no psychologist. End Quote]

You wrote that to me privately in October minutes after I shared my benign opinion on your post on the public thread. It made me wonder what this forum is for, I was put off abit, thinking I cant express myself freely here for the want of learning, and for the opportunity to express ourselves freely. However, I am suprised to see you write of such personal details now, that in your headline, had nothing to do with drinking (bare with me, I havn't been watching your posts) ! Xmas brings mixed feelings for many people, some good, some fantastic, and some and many...awful. I ,only wish everyone a Xmas time that they can enjoy, and be happy in themselves, it's a tough time at the best leading up to it for the norm.... I just hoped, from this site, you would realise that people here really do want to help deeper and beyond the superficial, and we can gain so much knowledge from everyones stories.

[Evie.Lou]

Just found out

Family issues.......I AM SO SORRY !!!!

[Waiting for his way out]

Just found out

Rach, it is not too late for Christmas. It is not easy, but try to understand your family is afraid of having an eventful Christmas with AL. Start by showing everyone you can do this at Thanksgiving by remaining sober and make the first holiday and enjoyable one?
Your family loves you, but they also have to look out for themselves the same way you need to look out for yourself.
I hope this helps, good luck.

[brittzak]

Just found out

Rach,
I do not think there is a single person here that has hit their bottom that doesn't relate to your pain.....your hurt....YOUR FAMILY hurts too....this issue is not just your issue it is everyone's issue...my family got so sick of seeing me drunk MY CHILDREN LEFT ME......my 14 and 10 year old CHILDREN left!!!!!! They were so sick entire of seeing my drunk pathetic ass they packed their shit and went to their Dads!!!!! Did they love me...you bet they did, but they deserved to be happy and not see me drunk too....when I sobered up did they come home...you bet they did!!!!! AND when you get sober will your family wanna be around you...YOU BET THEY will but they want to have a Christmas and not worry whether you are gonna ruin it drunk and they deserve that Rachel...just like my children deserved that peace too. PEACE...YOU DESERVE sober peace too!!!!!! You are hurt and it HURTS to feel rejected....I cried for days....but you can either stay hurt and drunk or get pissed at the ALCOHOL and get well........Christmas is one day out of the year...we have SPENT MANY DAYS in a FOG...how about make this year a good memorable day...even if you just spent it watching movies eating take-out...laugh at something on TV....MAKE IT A GOOD DAY..SOBER! Make Christmas 2008 your turn for the better day...the day you changed your life....

[river0123]

Just found out

Wow, really really fantastic post brittz.

We brought this on ourselves. We need to fix it. Very well done on you for turning things around!

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Just found out

brittzak;477931 wrote: Rach,
I do not think there is a single person here that has hit their bottom that doesn't relate to your pain.....your hurt....YOUR FAMILY hurts too....this issue is not just your issue it is everyone's issue...my family got so sick of seeing me drunk MY CHILDREN LEFT ME......my 14 and 10 year old CHILDREN left!!!!!! They were so sick entire of seeing my drunk pathetic ass they packed their shit and went to their Dads!!!!! Did they love me...you bet they did, but they deserved to be happy and not see me drunk too....when I sobered up did they come home...you bet they did!!!!! AND when you get sober will your family wanna be around you...YOU BET THEY will but they want to have a Christmas and not worry whether you are gonna ruin it drunk and they deserve that Rachel...just like my children deserved that peace too. PEACE...YOU DESERVE sober peace too!!!!!! You are hurt and it HURTS to feel rejected....I cried for days....but you can either stay hurt and drunk or get pissed at the ALCOHOL and get well........Christmas is one day out of the year...we have SPENT MANY DAYS in a FOG...how about make this year a good memorable day...even if you just spent it watching movies eating take-out...laugh at something on TV....MAKE IT A GOOD DAY..SOBER! Make Christmas 2008 your turn for the better day...the day you changed your life....

Wow, My family treated me like crap for soooo many years while I was completely sober, I never had been a drinker or even thought of drinking. One day....I'm sure having teenagers and an unmedicated bipolar husband had something to do with it....I began to drink. So now I am the drinker/drunk at holidays and people are NICER to me while drunk! I am not any happier, just (self) medicated. I was thinking I must be the minority on this board but then I thought again....what is the root of everyone's drinking? Maybe, I'm just a late bloomer in this drinking (self medicating) game. Anyway, for what it's worth I'm sharing Rach....HAPPY HOLIDAY! Luvya, Myheart