This mental beast

[C&C Mom]

So, made the decision to go AF today. I drink because I like the relaxed/buzz feel and feel while in that state it is okay that I am nor being productive, etc. because I am entitled to sit and drink (ha, ha says the beast).
Now, I am at about 24 hours AF and taking the supplements and feeling quite well - had one little patch of physical itch but nothing much and it passed. Now my mind is saying - oh you feel good - you can have one or two glasses of wine. Yeah right - never could before - couldn't yesterday - why could I today?
This is going to be a battle of the wills - mine and the beast. I have never examined my drinking habits and reasons for drinking before. However, unless I get even a little drunk it will not satisfy my beast and even then I have to keep drinking to maintain it.
I choose not today and will worry about tomorrow then. The beast loses today......I won't even say I hope....I am in control even if I have to chew off my arm or start carving wood sculptures in the backyard.
Will post tomorrow unless I freak out later....

[Determinator]

This mental beast

C&C Mom, big welcome to you. you are absolutely right....you ARE in control. yes it's tough, but it's the best hardest thing we could do for ourselves and our families.

[A Work in Progress]

This mental beast

good going, CCM!!! There are several threads around here about "the beast," and the mental game, it would be good to keep on reading them once in a while!

[Popeye]

This mental beast

C&C Mom
Great post.
Hang in there.
You have the right attitude.
It is a beast, but it can be beaten.
Thank you.

[Lucy Van Pelt]

This mental beast

THE BEAST SUCKS

[brittzak]

This mental beast

The BEAST DOES SUCK....

[wannabe]

This mental beast

AI relate to you completely,a beast -a parasite. Both are great analogies when it comes to alcohol.
I like to think of it as a parasite. It has no care about us. It will only feed on our weakness. It starts out harmless and then bores into us, weakening our control system, destroying our reason. It takes from us so many things that we should not give it the right to do. We are unable to remember things that should be so dear and near to us.
Like a wood tick it will not leave us on its own; we must physically remove it from our being.

So I ask you to join me , in this battle to shed ourselves of this parasite that thrives on us.
We will learn to live life to it's fullest, knowing this parasite will not devour anymore from our precious
lives. We can do it..

[Rags]

This mental beast

C&C,
What a wonderful attitude and frame of mind you have.
It was so pleasing to read your post.
Hmmmm.... try wood carving for preference... you need both hands to type your inspiring threads!!

[startingover]

This mental beast

Hey C&C with your attitude, you will certainly beat this thing!
Great going.
Enjoy your sculpting!

[notevergivingup]

This mental beast

C&C Mom, your right we can beat this thing, one day at a time.

Twosox

[C&C Mom]

This mental beast

If I don't sleep I might drop dead but I guess I really wasn't sleeping drunk either I just thought I was. I tried the Calms Forte but may need to up the dose or I figure my body will eventually sleep from deprivation.

When I finally start sleeping this will be a true motivator not to do this to my body again. I am frightened at how my entire body & brain have been altered by alcohol and I didn't even know. My poor liver and pancreas.....plus the IQ points knocked off by killing my brain cells. I should be around a fifth grade level based on the medical texts and my consumption. UCK.

I want to be like my kids again and get excited over eating a cookie rather than drinking a glass of wine!

It could be early but the supplements are really helping with the withdrawal. I pray it continues.

Oh, I have started carving yet but you never know....tonight's a coming.

[notevergivingup]

This mental beast

C&C Mom, Hang in there, your doing great. I take simply sleep by tylenol some nights, keeps me sleeping through the night the only problem is I fell grogy the next morning. So I don't take it that often only when I've gone a few nights without much sleep. I can't imagine how many brain cells I knocked off, probably why I have such a horrible memory now. I used to be a great speller to, now I depend on spell check. Hopefully that will improve with more AF time.

Twosox

[Hopeful mom]

This mental beast

Great thread C&C. You're right...you can beat that beast. We all can. It's hard for other people to understand unless they've walked in those shoes. Keep up the good work...You are bigger than that beast!

[Habsfan]

This mental beast

Hang in there!

I totally agree with the beast analogy C&C Mom. Now that I've come to the conclusion it has had control over my life and affected so many people I care about I'm that much more resolved to win this battle. We can, and will ,beat this. If there's anything I can do, let me know. Russ

[C&C Mom]

This mental beast

Thanks - Habsfan. Yes we can beat it - I am looking forward to holidays that are clear and full of happy memories this year - not shame that I drank too much, again.